I am posting because I need support. I don't drink daily but I've become a binge drinker. To the point where when I stop I go through hell. I've never had a seizure but I sweat and feel so panicked. I'm afraid I'm going to die. When I stop drinking I usually do it cold turkey. But that cause things to be even worse it seems. Yesterday I tried to wean down with beer. I'm not sure what the proper amount to wean with would even be. I just need to stop and stay stopped. Will it get better? Can I make it?
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Re: So lost
Welcome [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION]. Yes, you can make it. It's hard for most of us to see it at the beginning but yes, you can make it. Don't know too much about tapering but did find a reference. How To Taper Off Alcohol There are people here who have gone that route so I'm sure they can give better advice than me on that. I would suggest a) As you're tapering off alcohol focus on tasting it. (I know for me the taste became just an afterthought.) b) Keep your quit date in mind, your date of freedom. c) Keep checking in on good days and bad.
Check in at the Newbies Nest (link in signature) if you haven't already where there are plenty of people who can help you find your way through these first days. The Tool Box (link also in sig) is another good resource with techniques that others have used to rewrite that drinking script. I don't have the link handy, but I'm sure someone will, but when you reach that day of freedom you might want to start keeping yourself accountable by posting in Newbie's Nest Roll Call.
Congratulations on taking this first step, we're glad to have you with us. We're walking this road together and it does get so much better. :hug:Last edited by Orimus; May 16, 2017, 07:23 AM.“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb
"See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.
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Hi Tidegirl! It's great to see you back and having another go at this! Can't add much more to what Orimus has already said, and you've probably already heard the drill, read, post, read.... there really is strength in numbers!Quitting and staying quit isn't easy, its learning a whole new way of thinking. It's accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.Comment
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Re: So lost
First Thing is to go to Doc straight away and get full blood test. Let him know whats going on, then get some valium. Only safe way if going cold Turkey. You don't want seizures or extra anxiety. 5mg tabs should be fine. Quit all sugar, coffee , Drink plenty of water and if you smoke,stopping that for a day , it will help ease anxiety/blood pressure alot too and you may get away without the valium but you want something on standbyLast edited by Neo; May 16, 2017, 07:49 AM.Comment
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Re: So lost
I haven't had a drink in almost 13 hours. Hopefully I can tough it out and things will get better. Feeling so unmotivated to do anything except the bare minimum . I have no appetite at all and have been drinking lots of water-- no sleep at all which isn't helping things. I feel like more than anything that I have an intense fear of what will come next. I know logically that I should be much better with each passing day but it's tough to see the light at the end of the tunnelOriginally posted by Neo View PostComment
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Re: So lost
Be kind to yourself [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION]. Right now all you should worry about is what to do other than drink. I've recently been thinking on the stimulus/pause/response cycle and the learned response. Drinking is our learned response so when we hit that stimulus (trigger) we run the learned response (script) instead of pausing. Right now you are in that pause (at 100 days I still have to think about hitting that pause.) where you are looking and learning to rewrite the script. Relax, breath and allow yourself to take it slow for now. No need to be hasty as you increase the likelihood of tripping. Embrace the moment for all the ickiness right now as you'll appreciate so much more as the days improve and your brain heals. Hope something there helps.“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb
"See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.
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Re: So lost
Thanks Orimus--one never realized how long a day is until they are up constantly with no sleep and just spinning thoughts. I truly hope that I can ride this out. I guess I am feeling such anxiety because I'm alone right now and fear having a seizure. I find myself constantly checking the statistics on how many people do have them and trying to reassure myself that I won't -- which is useless and is causing me to obsess and feel guilt and fear even more.Originally posted by Orimus View PostComment
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Re: So lost
Depending on the amount that could be dangerous. Just FYI."Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert EinsteinComment
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Re: So lost
Are you referring to the amount of possible seizures or time alone? I know that all of it could be dangerous. The anxiety and lack of sleep feel very real but the physical stuff like diarrhea etc has gone. I even got some housework done to try to avert my mind. I then wrote a note about what I was feeling at the highest point of desperation as I want to pull it out if I ever feel like drinking again. Every hour farther away from the drinking will be better I think. At least I pray so.Originally posted by empyr3al View PostComment
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Re: So lost
:welcome: [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION] Really glad you've joined us, but not for the reason. How are you doing today? I've used beer to help with withdrawals before. Learned about it here: How To Taper Off Alcohol However, I don't believe or prescribe to the rest of their program. For an alcoholic 100% abstinence is best. I've been a binge and daily drinker. It only gets worse as you may realize now. There is a kindling effect. Makes each withdrawal harder. https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicati...22-1/25-34.pdf
Hopefully, your through the worst part of withdrawal. Usually, 3-5 days. No one can answer whether or not someone will have seizures. If you've experienced DT's or seizures before, your chances grow. However, in my experiences and those I've known, it's relatively low. Many of us understand these fears, feelings and thoughts. Which contribute to feeling overwhelmed. My understanding of fears, afraid of losing something we have, or not gaining something we want. Alkies and addicts in general struggle more then the rest of population, imo. They do get better and can be managed with recovery time.
Yes, you can do this one day at a time. :smile: Do your best to stay in today. The Now. Future tripping, can trip us up. We are stronger together. Orimus explanation about learned stimulus is spot on imo.
Hope you'll join us in some other threads. Support is crucial for most of us. Especially, early on in your quit. As mentioned: Newbies Nest under Just Starting Out. Under General Discussion: Cattleman Cafe 24 hrs Club. We pledge to go 24hrs without drinking. Anyone can go without drinking for 24 hrs. Also Under General Discussion: Express Your Gratitude. Many people find the practice of cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude helpful. Hope to see you there. Please ck in when you have time. People care and want to encourage and support you. :hug: Hope your feeling a bit better!...Comment
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Re: So lost
Never had thDTs or seizures thankfully. Have felt withdrawals after last 4 binges. My GP basically told me that since my liver enzymes were slightly elevated that she would not give me any benzos as they are processed through the liver. She did not think further liver testing was warranted based on the numbers but told me to stop drinking, have no Tylenol etc. I made an spot with a therapist and plan to use this place for help too. I feel far better but have a letter to myself about how I felt. Luckily elevations were mild and she said that can happen from as little as 3 glasses of wine within 24 hours of even a fasting test-- mine was not a fasting test. But since that was an outlier I know my new life must begin. Luckily too no other health issues except low thyroid. Thanks for reaching out-- kept busy today and that was the best for me.Originally posted by Wildflowers View PostComment
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Re: So lost
I lost the other post-- so of it shows I apologize for the duplicate. Never seizures or DT but bad withdrawal after last 4 binges-- which were usually only once a month. No prescription due to slight liver enzyme elevation but dr said that can be caused by a few drinking a the night before the test and she said to retest after 3 months. Benzos are I guess hard on the liver? Anyway made a therapy appointment and stayed very busy today-- hope the sleep will come backOriginally posted by Wildflowers View PostComment
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Re: So lost
Wrote twice and I guess it's lost or they have to look at it-- it was pretty generic. Doing much better. Will stay closeOriginally posted by Wildflowers View PostComment
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Re: So lost
Not sure why my replies keep getting lost. Much better today. Thank you! Went to dr -- just slight elevation of liver enzymes. Should resolve with abstinence-- dr was not too concerned re the levels.Comment
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Re: So lost
[MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION], when I quit drinking I had a lot of anxiety. I still do a year later. I use the amino acid l-theanine. It works better for me than xanax and doesn't make me tired and it's not addictive. It just makes me less anxiety ridden. I highly recommend it. I get mine from Amazon although gnc carries it as well. Here is the Amazon link Amazon.com: Nutricost L-Theanine 2mg; 12 Capsules - Double Strength: Health & Personal Care
I take 2
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