mae all ..quick start to the day...hope we are all well ? its daft o clock here,pitch black ,windy and raining ..apart from that lovely ....Julie was really upset yesterday...she phoned me up in tears ..she had lost her mums bracelet ..18 carat rose gold ..I searched the house the garden everywhere she retraced her steps back to the supermarket ..while she was there someone handed it in to customer services !!restores faith in human nature to an extent .hope you are all ok ..off digging ...
I saw my son and his friends playing hide and seek today...
...I couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I shouted at them to get inside immediately and play xbox like normal kids
Exam' questions:
In which battle did Napoleon die?
# his last battle.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
# at the bottom of the page.
River Ravi flows in which state?
# liquid.
What is the main reason for divorce?
# marriage.
What is the main reason for failure?
# exams.
What can you never eat for breakfast?
# Lunch & dinner.
What looks like half an apple?
#The other half.
If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
#It will simply become wet.
How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
#No problem, he sleeps at night.
How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
#You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
#Very large hands.
If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
#No time at all, the wall is already built.
How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
#Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Latest Advice from My Stockbroker
I asked my stockbroker what I should be buying.
He said, "If Trump remains in office much longer then canned goods a generator, water and ammunition are a good buy".
Now I Know Where Chickpeas Come from
A young lawyer attended a seminar on motivation and the benefit of several revenue streams. Inspired by the talk the young lawyer decided to try his hand at part-time poultry farming to earn some extra income. To start the poultry farm he bought his first lot of one hundred chickens.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.
Another month went by and the young lawyer returned again for another hundred chickens because the second lot had also died.
The chicken salesman was very alarmed at the new farmer's string of bad luck; besides if word got around town, others might think the quality of his chickens was poor and that would be disastrous for business. So he asked the part-time farmer, "So do you think you are having a string of bad luck or just what seems to be your problem"?
"I think I now have a sense of where I'm going wrong", said the young lawyer and now nearly a full-time farmer. "I think I might be planting my chickens just a little bit too deep".
A tired salesman pulls into a hotel around midnight.
Exhausted after a long day's trip he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the salesman notices a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.
Lying to the hotel clerk, he says, "Fancy meeting my 'wife' here. I'll need a double room for the night".
The next morning, he comes to settle his bill and finds the amount to be over $3000.
"What's the meaning of this" he yells at the clerk? "I've only been here for one night"!
"Yes", says the clerk, "but your 'wife' has been here for three weeks"!
I saw my son and his friends playing hide and seek today...
...I couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I shouted at them to get inside immediately and play xbox like normal kids
Exam' questions:
In which battle did Napoleon die?
# his last battle.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
# at the bottom of the page.
River Ravi flows in which state?
# liquid.
What is the main reason for divorce?
# marriage.
What is the main reason for failure?
# exams.
What can you never eat for breakfast?
# Lunch & dinner.
What looks like half an apple?
#The other half.
If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
#It will simply become wet.
How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
#No problem, he sleeps at night.
How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
#You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
#Very large hands.
If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
#No time at all, the wall is already built.
How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
#Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Latest Advice from My Stockbroker
I asked my stockbroker what I should be buying.
He said, "If Trump remains in office much longer then canned goods a generator, water and ammunition are a good buy".
Now I Know Where Chickpeas Come from
A young lawyer attended a seminar on motivation and the benefit of several revenue streams. Inspired by the talk the young lawyer decided to try his hand at part-time poultry farming to earn some extra income. To start the poultry farm he bought his first lot of one hundred chickens.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.
Another month went by and the young lawyer returned again for another hundred chickens because the second lot had also died.
The chicken salesman was very alarmed at the new farmer's string of bad luck; besides if word got around town, others might think the quality of his chickens was poor and that would be disastrous for business. So he asked the part-time farmer, "So do you think you are having a string of bad luck or just what seems to be your problem"?
"I think I now have a sense of where I'm going wrong", said the young lawyer and now nearly a full-time farmer. "I think I might be planting my chickens just a little bit too deep".
A tired salesman pulls into a hotel around midnight.
Exhausted after a long day's trip he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the salesman notices a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.
Lying to the hotel clerk, he says, "Fancy meeting my 'wife' here. I'll need a double room for the night".
The next morning, he comes to settle his bill and finds the amount to be over $3000.
"What's the meaning of this" he yells at the clerk? "I've only been here for one night"!
"Yes", says the clerk, "but your 'wife' has been here for three weeks"!
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