Good morning all, and how are we today then ?hope everyone is safe and well. Just taken my car down to the garage for its annual test and few other jobs that need doing, and I will get it back on Wednesday so I won't be going anywhere .Amy has just phoned us,,,,her boyfriend Chris was on a do in Portugal he is flying home early and had to go via France as there are no direct flights into the UK now and Portugal is about to close down too.dry today but overcast...however both rabbits are out playing. Got to phone the dentist tomorrow to arrange an appointment to sort this lot out too
Hello pie and welcome back. None of us on here are entitled or indeed have the right to be judge or jury there is no need for embarrassment... so get yourself back on track and get control of it all again and no it isn't whining either, that's what we're all here for help each other ... as for being so far down the Rabbit Hole, I I've got two here that would help you on that one . take care have a great day
Hiya lav.... quick get down to the off-licence and get some vodka for hand sanitizer my tulips are up but they're not budded properly yet the daffodils are out and lots of plants got little shoots coming off them but no major flowers apart from the camellia which is a sea of Pink .one of the things they are are talking about over here is bringing back retired prison staff as well haha I would have a ball but somehow I don't think I would last very long
Hiya det how are you today then mate? Hope all is well with you I think the going rate over here for getting tested with the virus is 3 grand, but they reckon they have already tried it on American patients with success yes I'm sure I will be going back to Italyagain, it won't be for a while yet but I will certainly be going back I've climbed both Mount Etna and Vesuvius and a few other mad things there too to a great place friendly people and the gelato is fantastic!
Hiya pauly. Hope you're well and doing ok stay safe
Same goes ppqp hope everything is ok with you and again stay safe stay well
Hiya TG how are you you? Hope all is well in your world and things are taking along
Little Johnny was at the local supermarket with his parents.
Little Johnny, got tired of walking, so his Dad let Little Johnny sit on his shoulders. As they walked Little Johnny started pulling his Dad's hair.
His Dad asked Little Johnny to stop numerous times but he kept on. Eventually Little Johnny's Dad got really annoyed and said, "Son Stop that immediately!"
"But, Daddy", Little Johnny replied, "I'm just trying to get my chewing-gum back".
Five sales people, John, Peter, Harry, George, and Margaret, meet at the water cooler.
John: "I had three fantastic meetings today, man they were great! "
Peter: "I managed to crank out 85 calls! "
Harry: " I mass emailed over 4500 prospects! "
George: "I put together and sent out over 200 new info kits to new prospects in my territory. "
Margaret: "I didn't sell anything either. "
Moral of the story: Nothing matters in sales but results. All the good intentions or activities mean nothing unless you are able to produce.
American Movie Rating System Explained
G : Nobody gets the girl.
PG : The Good Guy Gets The Girl.
R : The Bad Guy Gets The Girl.
X : Everybody Gets The Girl.
XXX : Everybody gets the girl, her mother, her sister, her father, and her father's boyfriend.
Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "suspicious car".
Apparently it had tax, insurance and the radio was still in it.
President Trump was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York.
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.
Although Trump was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping the original folks and how proud he was of them
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Trump with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle."
The proud President accepted the plaque and then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.
They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70 each ! ! !
Bollox to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Life Explained
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed......
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span"
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God agreed......
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again......
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.
I Would Like Coffee Please
A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself.
Soon, the waitress came over to take his order. "...and to drink" she asked?
The man said he would like coffee. The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man's lap when she stopped at the table.
"Oh my G~d; I am so sorry"!
"That's OK", the man said, sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin - "but tell me, was this regular or decaf"?
"Regular" she replied.
"Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night"!
Hello pie and welcome back. None of us on here are entitled or indeed have the right to be judge or jury there is no need for embarrassment... so get yourself back on track and get control of it all again and no it isn't whining either, that's what we're all here for help each other ... as for being so far down the Rabbit Hole, I I've got two here that would help you on that one . take care have a great day
Hiya lav.... quick get down to the off-licence and get some vodka for hand sanitizer my tulips are up but they're not budded properly yet the daffodils are out and lots of plants got little shoots coming off them but no major flowers apart from the camellia which is a sea of Pink .one of the things they are are talking about over here is bringing back retired prison staff as well haha I would have a ball but somehow I don't think I would last very long
Hiya det how are you today then mate? Hope all is well with you I think the going rate over here for getting tested with the virus is 3 grand, but they reckon they have already tried it on American patients with success yes I'm sure I will be going back to Italyagain, it won't be for a while yet but I will certainly be going back I've climbed both Mount Etna and Vesuvius and a few other mad things there too to a great place friendly people and the gelato is fantastic!
Hiya pauly. Hope you're well and doing ok stay safe
Same goes ppqp hope everything is ok with you and again stay safe stay well
Hiya TG how are you you? Hope all is well in your world and things are taking along
Little Johnny was at the local supermarket with his parents.
Little Johnny, got tired of walking, so his Dad let Little Johnny sit on his shoulders. As they walked Little Johnny started pulling his Dad's hair.
His Dad asked Little Johnny to stop numerous times but he kept on. Eventually Little Johnny's Dad got really annoyed and said, "Son Stop that immediately!"
"But, Daddy", Little Johnny replied, "I'm just trying to get my chewing-gum back".
Five sales people, John, Peter, Harry, George, and Margaret, meet at the water cooler.
John: "I had three fantastic meetings today, man they were great! "
Peter: "I managed to crank out 85 calls! "
Harry: " I mass emailed over 4500 prospects! "
George: "I put together and sent out over 200 new info kits to new prospects in my territory. "
Margaret: "I didn't sell anything either. "
Moral of the story: Nothing matters in sales but results. All the good intentions or activities mean nothing unless you are able to produce.
American Movie Rating System Explained
G : Nobody gets the girl.
PG : The Good Guy Gets The Girl.
R : The Bad Guy Gets The Girl.
X : Everybody Gets The Girl.
XXX : Everybody gets the girl, her mother, her sister, her father, and her father's boyfriend.
Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "suspicious car".
Apparently it had tax, insurance and the radio was still in it.
President Trump was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York.
He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.
Although Trump was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping the original folks and how proud he was of them
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Trump with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle."
The proud President accepted the plaque and then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.
They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70 each ! ! !
Bollox to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Life Explained
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed......
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span"
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God agreed......
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again......
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.
I Would Like Coffee Please
A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself.
Soon, the waitress came over to take his order. "...and to drink" she asked?
The man said he would like coffee. The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man's lap when she stopped at the table.
"Oh my G~d; I am so sorry"!
"That's OK", the man said, sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin - "but tell me, was this regular or decaf"?
"Regular" she replied.
"Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night"!
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