mae all how are we then?all good I hope...bit cold today ...a mere 31 degrees..blowing a gale storms are on the way.A survey has been commissioned re the spread of covid..one of the conclusions is that a main spread area is pubs ...no sh.t sheriff wonder how much that took to work out.no sign of the foxes this morning .whats everyone up to then? take care x
They have put perspex screens up between pupils desks in many schools, in preparation for reopening in September.
Kids in liverpool will already used to talking face to face through a screen when visiting dad in prison, it will also be great training for future life down the benefits office.
Bored during lockdown?
Call a feminist group and ask to speak to the man in charge.
In protest of the destruction of Beirut, protesters are preparing to destroy the rest of Beirut
Apparently athletes can buy weighted vests so they can go running carrying a higher weight and make themselves stronger. I find this odd and think why don't they just eat loads of pies and drink a few beers to add the weight naturally and have a fcking good time.
I used to sell boat parts from my attic.
At first I thought my business would just paddle along, but my sales went through the roof
I've seen the new Skittles Chewies, (no shell), being made.
They make them as normal, then pay people to suck the coating off before putting them into the bags.
I find as I get older I only need 3 shops in my life, Specsavers, Boots and Greggs.
My life is all specs and drugs and sausage rolls.
As a 2nd wave of corona virus looms this winter, people are being told to brace for the worst and severe lockdowns and restrictions that could last until May of next year.
Or until November 4th, if Trump loses the election.
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"
The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man says, "I chop wood!"
"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"
"I chop wood!"
"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"
"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"
"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"
The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"
A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."
Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister. You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."
The little girl thought about this and remarked, "You mean like my other Daddy does?"
Shipwrecked On A Desert Island
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
- Two Italian men and one Italian woman
- Two French men and one French woman
- Two German men and one German woman
- Two Greek men and one Greek woman
- Two English men and one English woman
- Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
- Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
- Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
- Two Irish men and one Irish woman
- Two American men and one American woman
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.
* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
* The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
* The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.
* The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
* The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.
* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a goddamn cell phone so they could call 911 and get rescued off this god-forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping...
Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer".
Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 PM., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... a marvelous dinner... lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you",
Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times"!
Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him"?
Edna: "No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress".
They have put perspex screens up between pupils desks in many schools, in preparation for reopening in September.
Kids in liverpool will already used to talking face to face through a screen when visiting dad in prison, it will also be great training for future life down the benefits office.
Bored during lockdown?
Call a feminist group and ask to speak to the man in charge.
In protest of the destruction of Beirut, protesters are preparing to destroy the rest of Beirut
Apparently athletes can buy weighted vests so they can go running carrying a higher weight and make themselves stronger. I find this odd and think why don't they just eat loads of pies and drink a few beers to add the weight naturally and have a fcking good time.
I used to sell boat parts from my attic.
At first I thought my business would just paddle along, but my sales went through the roof
I've seen the new Skittles Chewies, (no shell), being made.
They make them as normal, then pay people to suck the coating off before putting them into the bags.
I find as I get older I only need 3 shops in my life, Specsavers, Boots and Greggs.
My life is all specs and drugs and sausage rolls.
As a 2nd wave of corona virus looms this winter, people are being told to brace for the worst and severe lockdowns and restrictions that could last until May of next year.
Or until November 4th, if Trump loses the election.
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"
The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man says, "I chop wood!"
"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"
"I chop wood!"
"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"
"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"
"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"
The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"
A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."
Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister. You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."
The little girl thought about this and remarked, "You mean like my other Daddy does?"
Shipwrecked On A Desert Island
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
- Two Italian men and one Italian woman
- Two French men and one French woman
- Two German men and one German woman
- Two Greek men and one Greek woman
- Two English men and one English woman
- Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
- Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
- Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
- Two Irish men and one Irish woman
- Two American men and one American woman
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.
* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
* The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
* The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.
* The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
* The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.
* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a goddamn cell phone so they could call 911 and get rescued off this god-forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping...
Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer".
Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 PM., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... a marvelous dinner... lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you",
Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times"!
Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him"?
Edna: "No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress".
the way this year has been going you probably will be putting snow pics up next week haha, Mick funny jokes-thanks, Lav, glad you finally get to pay your respects, so sad it had to be put off but this is our weird world right now, much love to the gang and wishes for a great BF Monday for us all
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