hi all how are we today then? all good I hope...been a bit of a non starter day today ,was more of a bleugh day....havent done a lot ..spent quite a lot of the day watching the rabbits playing...Mr Fox was out ,so I sat and read whilst watching them,Dont know why ,but I keep nodding off ,whether its because I haven't done a lot or not I dont know .
Hope you are all doing well.I planted out some tulips today ,they have been in the greenhouse ,but was waiting till the frosts passed ...
lets get some jokes up .
I got back from the supermarket and handed my wife the can of peas.
"Canapés!" she said.
I love the community spirit shown by taxi firms offering older people a 'free cab for the jab'. I've had 3, so far.
Pro tip: make sure you're rubbing your arm and grimacing, as you leave the massage parlour.
"Priti Patel faces growing pressure over deletion of police records"
Can't say I blame her; "Message In A Bottle" is just awful.
Dear BBC....
As a total petrolhead and motorsports fanatic, imagine my disappointment as I grabbed a six pack and a bag of Doritos and tuned into Drag Race UK.
The multi-level regional Covid system invented by Boris.
Tiers of a Clown.
Last night, this guy was screaming at me: Stand back, keep your hands where I can see them and don't make any sudden moves!.
I couldn't help thinking that Domino's are taking contact - free delivery a bit too seriously.
"Did Penny give birth yet?"
"Yes, last week - we got quads."
"Different. We received knitted shit and bibs."
My family are all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles.
It's OK though, I know where to draw the line.
Gents, don't visit the capital of the Philippines if you're poorly. It only makes a Manila.
Donald Trump is planning a military-style sendoff for himself on Inauguration Day.
So he won't be attending, as his bone spurs are playing up again.
During the first lockdown the beer cans started piling up and I was so bored I decided for a hobby I'd cut them open and turn them into a suit of armour.
I've just finished my recreation of the 100 years war.
Top 10 Signs that a Computer is Owned by a Harley Rider:
The monitor & CPU have been repainted orange and black.
System sound effects now play a Harley kicking over when a program starts.
There's an oil stain on the floor just below the computer.
Number key pad only goes up to two.
Password is "WillieG".
The mouse is referred to as "the Rat".
There is a Skoal can mounted in the CD-ROM drive.
Expansion slots have Genuine Harley-Davidson bike parts installed in them.
The keyboard is mounted at the level of the user's chin and his seat tilts backward -- ape-hanger keyboard!
And the Number 1 sign that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
A half-naked, big-breasted "Warrior Princess" and her tiger have been airbrushed onto the sides of the monitor!
The Bear, Rabbit and the Golden Frog
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much and one day, whilst they were walking through the woods they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said: "Ooh, I don't often meet anyone in these parts." They were amazed that the frog had talked to them.
The golden frog admitted: "Mind you, when I do meet someone I always give them six wishes. You can have three wishes each in this case.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.
The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!
Hope you are all doing well.I planted out some tulips today ,they have been in the greenhouse ,but was waiting till the frosts passed ...
lets get some jokes up .
I got back from the supermarket and handed my wife the can of peas.
"Canapés!" she said.
I love the community spirit shown by taxi firms offering older people a 'free cab for the jab'. I've had 3, so far.
Pro tip: make sure you're rubbing your arm and grimacing, as you leave the massage parlour.
"Priti Patel faces growing pressure over deletion of police records"
Can't say I blame her; "Message In A Bottle" is just awful.
Dear BBC....
As a total petrolhead and motorsports fanatic, imagine my disappointment as I grabbed a six pack and a bag of Doritos and tuned into Drag Race UK.
The multi-level regional Covid system invented by Boris.
Tiers of a Clown.
Last night, this guy was screaming at me: Stand back, keep your hands where I can see them and don't make any sudden moves!.
I couldn't help thinking that Domino's are taking contact - free delivery a bit too seriously.
"Did Penny give birth yet?"
"Yes, last week - we got quads."
"Different. We received knitted shit and bibs."
My family are all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles.
It's OK though, I know where to draw the line.
Gents, don't visit the capital of the Philippines if you're poorly. It only makes a Manila.
Donald Trump is planning a military-style sendoff for himself on Inauguration Day.
So he won't be attending, as his bone spurs are playing up again.
During the first lockdown the beer cans started piling up and I was so bored I decided for a hobby I'd cut them open and turn them into a suit of armour.
I've just finished my recreation of the 100 years war.
Top 10 Signs that a Computer is Owned by a Harley Rider:
The monitor & CPU have been repainted orange and black.
System sound effects now play a Harley kicking over when a program starts.
There's an oil stain on the floor just below the computer.
Number key pad only goes up to two.
Password is "WillieG".
The mouse is referred to as "the Rat".
There is a Skoal can mounted in the CD-ROM drive.
Expansion slots have Genuine Harley-Davidson bike parts installed in them.
The keyboard is mounted at the level of the user's chin and his seat tilts backward -- ape-hanger keyboard!
And the Number 1 sign that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
A half-naked, big-breasted "Warrior Princess" and her tiger have been airbrushed onto the sides of the monitor!
The Bear, Rabbit and the Golden Frog
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much and one day, whilst they were walking through the woods they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said: "Ooh, I don't often meet anyone in these parts." They were amazed that the frog had talked to them.
The golden frog admitted: "Mind you, when I do meet someone I always give them six wishes. You can have three wishes each in this case.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.
The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!
I'm an emotional wreck, worried about my dad cuz I know he was still coping with losing Jon , it never really goes away anyways, I'll be in on and off, not drinking but sure as hell stress eating! Love you all and have a great BF day(Lav stay safe tomorrow, those weirdos)
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