Feb 7th

[porqoui]

Kicking off this week's thread since we are frozen in place here. Still sitting at -22F but there's no snow and it's sunny outside. Not going out for my Vitamin D though.

Mick...your weather is all over the place, like it can't make up it's mind. Nice comeback for the Peskies. Did you take them off Kale all together? Jeeves is a smart one isn't he! Lights in 11 coaches done, 2200 more to go. LOL

Lav...I watch the weather forecast for a heads up but don't believe anything till I actually step out the door. Apparently they're right today so not stepping out the door. LOL So the -22F is without wind chill this morning. Hope your DIL makes it home today so you don't have to go out and restock.

TG...hope you had a restful sleep and that your day is relaxing.

Shout out to Pauly, Det, Sam and Pi.

Off to make some breakfast so put your orders in....:smile:PPQP

[Mick]

Re: Feb 7th

hiya yall...how are we all then?hope all is well with you.very cold here today ,it is supposed to be getting colder and snow again tonight...water bottles for the peskies .

hi ppqp ...thanks for starting the fred orf ...yes Ive done all the lights in all my coaches now ....and fitted the connecting corridors.I was going up the loft this afternoon ,and the trapdoor fell on my head and nearly knocked me down the ladder ..I see Calgary is pretty frozen out ..you take care .

hiya everyone else ,hope we are all well.Im looking at another couple of locos ,so we shall see ..take care everyone .

Beer Quotations
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
--Anonymous

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink.
--G.K. Chesterton

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
--Ambrose Bierce

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
-- Ross Levy

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--W.C. Fields

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
--Anonymous

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
--David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
-Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven.
- Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

Why is Australian beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
--David Moulton

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson

I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

I feel sorry for people who don't drink or do drugs. Because someday they're going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won't know why.
-Redd Foxx

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henry Youngman

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. - Robert Benchley

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he was also gone ......

The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm"

Lesson I: "Always allow the bosses to speak first"

The CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

Lesson II - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"

The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"

Again, the Japanese was onfused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???"

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-kee' am I?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted"WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!........."

Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes accidents do happen.

WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shit."

New Definitions
Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower...

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic:
A book, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest.... except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

[Lavande]

Re: Feb 7th

Greetings all,

More snow today & when it ended it started melting, strange. Arctic. Air moves in overnight so there’s going to be a lot of freezing, ho hum.
I made the trek out to the chickens a few times but otherwise stayed inside. YB drove the grandson home just before lunch so that saved a little food for us, haha!!
Working on some projects staying warm with my decaf tea & coffee

Cyn, look for Kathy’s Embroidered Gifts on FB. Like I said I really need to do some updates. I think I need an assistant, Lol
Keep yourself safe & warm too.

PQ, I can’t even imagine that kind of cold, Brrrrrr!!! I don’t think you could force me to step outside, haha!! Keep yourself unfrozen, please!!

Mick, that’s quite a list of drinking quotes. Makes me wonder why the world is so obsessed with beer, haha!
Glad your fur kids are doing OK. I know they keep you stepping

Hello to Det, Sam, Pauly & Pie, hope you are all OK.

Have a safe & warm night all!

Lav

[treegirl]

Re: Feb 7th

Mae all - wishing all well... DONE with my Sunday job as of 9 pm this evening, woo Hoo! Tired, so will just say good night, and stay well all... carry the light!

[paulywogg]

Re: Feb 7th

Mae everybody, Mick glad things are going well with the bunnies, trains and all else, sorry about the door falling yikes! Glad it didn't knock you down sheesh, Lav, thanks for sending some designs, I need to look and decide what I want it to say, if I should include dates or just their names, I'll think of something, PQ, yep stay put and I never trust the weather guys til I see it for myself either, Cyn,that's a long day! 9 pm? I'd die haha, woke up with a screaming headache wonder if it was my pillow or lack of caffeine from yesterday, feels yucky, waves to Det and Sam, Pie(miss her) wishes for a great BF Monday!

[Mick]

Re: Feb 7th

16127964395018590601842856501753.jpg

Hello everyone and how are we today then? I don't know whether you can see that picture properly or not but at the moment it is sunny -2 degrees and snowing! Didn't sleep too well last night , was up early feeling sick with a headache dizzy and couldn't see properly and that was without alcohol haha I think when that lid dropped on my head it gave me a bit of concussion or so Julie thinks I went to the post office this morning and felt really really poorly so I'm sitting here now with instructions not to move and because she is working from home I can't really get away with it. To be fair enough I've slept for about 3 hours today already. Rabbits are both playing in the garage, Jeeves seems a lot more lively now colour he is no longer getting kale at all their diet now consists of Timothy hay Meadow Hay rough cut hay from the farm Romaine lettuce and savoy cabbage it's very strange I used to nip out out at night and give them a treat I still not out and give them a tiny piece of lettuce late at night and they still perform up and down jump about like lunatics as if they were getting a treat full stop was going to do some work on my trains today but not allowed. Hope you are all well take care and stay safe

[porqoui]

Re: Feb 7th

MAE ALL...

Mick...yup, the picture is perfect, I can even see the snow. Jealous of your -2 we're at -13F and dropping to -22F tonight. Don't get me started on the wind chill! I think you got a concussion as well, especially with those symptoms. I hope you stayed put, glad Julie is keeping an eye on you. I hope the change in the Peskies diet does the trick. You don't need any more trips to the vet. You take care of yourself.

Pauly...I haven't heard any weather forecasts for Vegas lately, I'm assuming it's still too cold for you. Let me know what you decide with the memorial sweatshirt. I like the idea of just the names. Hope your headache went away.

Lav...at least with these frigid temps we're not getting any snow. It's supposed to warm up a bit by the weekend and of course it'll snow. Good plan on staying indoors.

TG...congrats on finishing your Sunday job, you deserve that day off. Hope you got a good rest last night.

Shout out to Det, Pi and Sam.

Had a virtual 2 hr meeting with the boss and prog coord today. I'm telling you, some people are just useless. He dumped a bunch of website work (which I'm going to have to figure out how to do) on my plate so I'll be busy for the next few days. I suspect he wants to be able to show the board something to prove that we are actually working during the mandatory stay at home orders. I know I am!

Hope we all have a warm and restful evening....:smile:PPQP

[treegirl]

Re: Feb 7th

Mae all -
Mick, I was worried about a concussion when you described the accident... please dial it back... and no detail work with your eyes for awhile ok? Those were my instructions when I had a concussion... and I didn't pay attention, and it took me a long time to heal... just sayin. Glad the peskies are being good...

Thanks for the place to look for your things, Lav. But don't tempt me too much!

Pauly, hope the headache went away, thatt's so rough, having a bad head day... Maybe it was the lack of caffeine?

PPQ, so the boss is inventing things for you to do so that he can show progress? That's a new twist! Oh well, hope it keeps you out of trouble and warm!

Det, Sam and all dropping in, wishing you well...

Longer daylight is welcome -

[paulywogg]

Re: Feb 7th

Mae everybody, Mick sorry about the head, I didn't realize it hit you that hard! Take it easy today, yup that's the same thing my guinea pigs eat, they go hog wild for romaine! I've tried other greens but that's their favorite and if I give them something else they get mad haha, PQ, it's been in the 60's this week so not so bad, Cyn, probably lack of caffeine or I did take a different iron pill on Sunday, could be that, seems I can't win with these iron supplements weeks, where's Lav? So used to her posts when I get up in the morning, much love to all and wishes for a great BF day for us all

[Mick]

Re: Feb 7th

hiya all...just a quick jump in .Jeeves not well again ,Ive given him meds going to syringe feed him after if no better in the morning ..back to vet
hope everyone is ok

[Lavande]

Re: Feb 7th

Good evening Abbers,

Well i did post last evening but as soon as I hit Post Quick Reply I was signed out so I don’t know where it went, hmmm.
Went with YB today while he had his monthly fire company meeting & I spent the time shopping with my daughter. Granddaughter has her 10th birthday coming up on the 26th & I needed expert advice on what to buy for 10 yr old girls these days
The snow & rain missed. Us today but i hear it will be getting us the rest of the week. Guess I’ll stay put & get some work done.

Mick, sorry to hear Jeeves is having issues again. I hope there’s something they can do to help him. Take care :hug:

Pauly, I hope you’re enjoying your mild weather, sounds nice

Cyn, I’ll have to put a limit on your buying soon, haha! I did receive a nice blanket today so I will get to work on that soon.
Speaking of longer daylight I’ve noticed the chickens are staying outside until almost 5:30, smart girls!

PQ, I hope you’re holding up OK in that frigid weather!! As much as I like cooler weather I’m just not sure I could cope with your current conditions, haha!

Hello to Det, Sam & Pie.

Hope everyone has a good night!

Lav

[treegirl]

Re: Feb 7th

Mae all -

Mick, oh no!!! Poor you, poor Jeeves, I really hope they can find out what is wrong. It is so stressful with our furry kin... my boy is definitely slowing down, having trouble standing, but such a sweet spirit and still interested in life, so we will see. Sending big healing hopes for Jeeves.

Lav, yes, I better lay off of my orders soon - but I am happy for this one - that phrase was what my co-worker said to get each Salon going... it became our mantra! See, your chickens are smart... they are looking for the light!

Pauly, sorry about the iron supps... good luck with that balancing act. I was in a Petco recently - I usually do not go into them... but the guinea pigs did look adorable! Take care...

PPQ, hoping you are still able to cope with the cold. What's for dinner? I am getting really tired of cooking for myself... need a genie-chef to jump out of one of these bottles and whip something up for me...

Det, your meals always sound great, but I'm afraid that I don't have the gumption to put in the work as you do. I like hearing about your meals, though!

Sam, hoping all is well.

Hello to all dropping by.

Well, a steady nice snow all day today... probably about 6 inches of new... just enough to have fun shoveling a bit. Next snow sounds like it will be on the weekend... okay by me ��.

Look for the light!

[Determinator]

Re: Feb 7th

Happy Humpday ABeroooos!

still a big mess unpacking and building furniture, spice racks and all that jazz but it's coming together pretty nicely.

We're going to take a car trip up to Park City to check it out today so that will be a nice little distraction and hopefully yield
a few good photos.

Mick, so sorry your animal is suffering. our kitty has survived the move pretty well, though she was super freaked out for a few
days at first and had some 'pee accidents' being so nervous and out of sorts but all's doing well now.

Lav, you're in luck... I'm the resident young teenager trend expert! who'd of thunk? hahahah!

hydroflask water bottle
a bag of 'scrunchies' hair bands in various colors
'bling' phone case. or phone wallet-case

I must be having an accidental effect on girly here as she wants a butterfly knife for her birthday. OMG it's kind of funny.
those happen to be legal here (though illegal in many states for some obscure reason). anyhoo I'm getting her one that
has a comb instead of a sharp blade so she can play with it and have fun without the danger of depleting our bandaids supply

spirits are high and we're all very grateful for the move. I'm phone interviewing for a variety of jobs so we'll see what sticks...

Treegirl, sometimes my meals are pretty darn simple. last night we were'nt super hungry so I made some hummus which we had with
cut veggies, gluten-free chips and some gourmet cheese. There's a cheese maker about a half hour from here which we'll try to stop at on
our way to Park City this morning. report to follow!

hugs to Pauly, PPQ, Sam, anyone else out and about?

be well loves

[Mick]

Re: Feb 7th

hiya all how are we today then? hope all is well snowing here today. Got up this morning fully expecting to have to go to the vet avec Jeeves ,but no he seems fine this morning in fact he hasn't stopped eating ...that is unless to sleep .Ive been busy making an indoor hutch in the garage for them..a lot warmer in this cold weather .Just finished it ...28 inches wide 4ft high and 9ft long plus Ive tidied up ..there is nothing on the floor for them to hurt themselves ..or eat

hiya Det ...hows you mate? havent seen you for a whiley .building furniture ? 1 x knockometer and a bag o nails...job done ..(Iwish) glad things are cool with you now that you are down wiv da kidz

hiya teegee hows you then? Hope all is well Yes Jeeves has picked up well today ,his eating habits are crazy ...he will trough and trough when he can...I think maybe he was the runt of the litter and ate when and as much as he could .hope zander is ok .

hiya Lav how are you today then?hope all is well..what to buy a 10yr old ..? years ago it would have been polly pocket or something..now its likely to be an iphone or the like.Cold over here and snowing as well

hiya ppqp ..hows you then ?apparently the weather is pretty brutal..my friend was telling me ..it was really cold ..but he braved the weather to go have a pint .he always was mad .You take care .

hiya pauly how are you feeling today ? hope all is ok with you .


The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have"?

The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars".

The guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this".

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration".

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again".

The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back"!

The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life"! The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double".

To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch".

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day. He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn't give the sermon. The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.

The pastor drove about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted. As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, Jesus leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, "Are You going to let him get away with this"?

God told Jesus not to worry, he would handle it. Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic.

Jesus asked God,"Why would you let him do that"?

God said, "Because, who is he gonna tell"?

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world"?

The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blond.

The puzzled blond kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said:

"Its golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blond continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked:

"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow"?

A new recruit police officer had almost finished his interview, and the interviewer asked him the last question which was:

"You are on duty. A car crashes in the middle of the road with two people inside the car, the two people are critically injured and the car is badly damaged.

The ambulance arrives, but it is going too fast and crashes into the damaged car. The car blows up and causes the ambulance to flip on its side.

A passer-by, while walking on the sidewalk is toppled, by the force of the explosion, into the river beside the road. Unfortunately he cannot swim and is drowning in the river.

Another man runs out of a house screaming, and shouts that his wife is pregnant and about to have her baby any second now.

"What would you do in this situation", the interviewer asked?

The recruit looks around the office and thinks for a while... he replies, "I'd take off my uniform and act like I am part of the crowd"!

The old rancher took his wife to town to see the new doctor.

He waited for her by the hitch rail while he shot the breeze with some other old timers. After a few minutes, he heard his wife scream, then she slammed through the door and nearly knocked him down. Finally, he calmed her enough to learn of her problem.

After listening to her story, he helped her into the buckboard to wait for him while he settled things with this new upstart. He hitched his gun belt in place and marched in to confront the doctor.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" the rancher demanded of the doctor. "My wife is 63 years old. We have five grown children and eleven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant"?

The new doctor raised his eyebrows and asked, "Does she still have the hiccups"?

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. It never smells and is always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because it doesn't smell and is silent".

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week".

The next week the lady returns.

"Doctor", she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly".

"Good," the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing".

The first Marine asked the second Marine, "if they were to drop a bomb right now, what would be the first thing you would do"?

The second Marine said, "I would screw the first thing that moved. What would you do"?

The first Marine replied, "I would stand very still for half an hour".

A student wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good proctologist, so he gets a part-time job down at the morgue after class so he can practice a little.

He uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it's a little strange, so he pulls the cork out jumps back when music suddenly starts playing!

"...On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again..."

The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the doctor and drags the poor guy back to the table. "Look" he says and pulls the cork out again, "!

"... On the road again .. . "

The doctor is totally unimpressed... "So what?" he says.

"Isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen" the student asked?

"Are you kidding?" says the doctor. "Any asshole can sing country music"!

A duded-up city biker walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis, SD.

He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the newby rider bravely asks the old biker, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do"?

The old veteran of a thousand rides slowly turns his head toward the young pup and says, 'Nah, you go ahead'.

Eagerly, the guy wearing the shiny new leather fashions reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chili back into the bowl.


The old biker quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too'.

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything".

That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything".

The lawyer thought for a moment, but was puzzled. Finally he asked the engineer, "How do you start a flood"?

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size.

She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra"?

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner.

After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

At K-Mart she marched up to the sales clerk, unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for these"?

The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil"?

[porqoui]

Re: Feb 7th

MAE ALL...

Mick...I breathed a sigh of relief reading that Jeeves is ok. I was expecting the worst as I always do according to my kids. At least working in the garage does not involve climbing steps. LOL Yup, restrictions changed on Monday and there was a lot of people at restaurants/pubs regardless of the temp. We're a hearty bunch here.

Lav...welcome to the lost post colony. I noticed you were on line and then poof, gone. Looked for your post and thought I was losing it. LOL Did you decide on a gift for your g/daughter? Holding up ok in the deep freeze but it's time for it to move out. Sorry, but it's probably heading your way.

TG...ooh, can I have a genie-chef too? Ended up having ham and perogies for dinner. Quick and easy as I don't make my own like Lav. I'm not going to mention the "s" word as there's been none and I don't want to jinx it.

Det...sounds like everything is coming together for you guys, slowly but surely. Only a Det step daughter would want a butterfly knife for her birthday LOL Learning how to cook is the best life lesson she can get from you. Enjoy your trip to Park City and looking forward to the pics. Good luck with the phone interviews.

Pauly...hope all is good in your world today.

Well I've ignored my work emails long enough. Procrastinating about getting started as today finds me writing documentation. I really have to be in the mood as I need to see it from the user's point of view. Have a great day all....:smile:PPQP