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    #1

    Post Your Moderation Rules

    I have read Moderation "Rules" throughout the forum here and there. I thought it would be helpful and a really good reference to come back to from time to time if those with a set of rules or guidelines would share those in one place.

    Some of my thoughts are:
    1) never drink alone.
    2) check my motives before accepting a drink, is it a social drink, or is there a negative emotion associated with it?
    3) family situations for me often become over-drinking events, so those sould be 1 with dinner, or alcohol free zones if no dinner is involved in the event.
    4) drink tickets. Like at some office parties. I will make up some drink tickets for social events. I will decide ahead of time how many drinks I will allow myself for the event (1 or 2 usually, 3 if it will be over a number of hours, and has been carefully considered). I will take that many tickets along and surrender the ticket per drink. When they're gone, no more drinks.
    5) if in doubt... don't drink.

    I may have some more, I have notes to myself in various places. I will add more on this thread as I find, or come up with more.

    Please post your list, even if you think there is some cross over. I would love to see your list!

    Thank you so much!

    periwinkle
    Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic
    Tags: None
    #2
    Post Your Moderation Rules

    Hi Peri,

    My personal program has more in the way of goals versus rules. I think I have a problem with the word "rule" as it brings out the adolescent in me and the first thing I want to do is break it! It's a similar thing with my general diet and weight. For instance, I don't set a "rule" that I can only have candy 3 times a week. I have a candy dish on my desk at work and have a piece any time I want it. I just make sure I don't want it too often, or I'd pack on the pounds!

    So, I generally do not drink during the week. This just makes sense for me as I get up at 5:45 am each day for my morning walk (4 miles) and it's no fun whatsoever hungover. I like to have a minimum of 4 days each week that are AF, preferably (and usually) 5. I like to wait until my husband is home to enjoy my drink if I'm having one just because it's more enjoyable. I'm picky about what I drink, because the purpose is for pure enjoyment not for getting drunk. I've tossed some red wines I've tried over the taste. At social events I go for mocktails as long as possible because it's harder to really enjoy the drink with all the talking and moving about.

    I mentioned this on the weekly thread today, but what I'm discovering is that the longer I maintain these guidelines/goals the more firmly they become new habits. I'm beginning to think the elusive key we've all been searching for is repetition. The science suggests (I hope I'm getting this straight -have read it in a couple of places) that we develop neural pathways in our brains that act as shortcuts, which is why our teenagers don't always think like we do (their pathways are still being formed). It takes a while for a new pathway to become established. It's just that I don't really give much thought to a drink on a Tuesday night like tonight, but I couldn't have said that 4 months ago.

    Thanks for this thread - looking forward to reading other responses!

    Vera-b

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      #3
      Post Your Moderation Rules

      I'm also into goals more than rules. Current goals are to drink less each month, less than once per week. Less is more fore me: when I drink less often, I can enjoy it more. Drinking alcohol had definitely become a burden, not a pleasure. No drinking alone is a good rule for me: once I get rid of that, I'm down to occasional drinking, which brings me back to my goals. Once I take care of these things, the quantities seem to have taken care of themselves.
      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

      Comment

        #4
        Post Your Moderation Rules

        My Way Out

        Great thread Peri:

        I've posted my approach before but happy to do it again, if people don't get sick of hearing it.

        My goals have been the same for the 10+ months I've been modding, but some things have changed. When I stated there was no drinking at home alone, no alcohol in the house at all, limit 2 drinks/eve when out - max of 7 drinks/week. I do 4 AF days/week and 3 mod days - usually one or two days during the week and one weekend day. I really don't enjoy drinking two days in a row.

        After about 4 months with that program, I began to see if I could have a bottle of wine in the house and not want to drink it all. I could! I still did the 4 AF/3 mod days/week with max of 7 drinks/week. On the days I plan on drinking I would buy a cold bottle of wine and allow myself to drink at home. It was harder to stop at 2 drinks, and sometimes I would go onto 3, but the next day I'm always AF and sometime later in the week, or the next week I would have the other two drinks in the bottle of wine. I keep O'Douls' beer in the refrig next to the wine, and on my AF days the wine really does not beckon to me.

        I just found that I wasn't used to going out 3 times/week, and I still wasn't ready to host people here (a real trigger for me). I also really do enjoy a glass or two of wine while reading a book in the evening, and I've been able to do that one night a week, and be able to read without the wine other nights and be satisfied. This surprises and pleases me.

        After seven months I tried coming off the Topomax and although I didn't feel cravings, I found I was again "drinking fast" on the days I was modding, and it was very hard to stay within my drink totals. I restarted the Topo after a few weeks and gradually dosed back up to 100 mg a day.

        Other strategies:

        Drink water between each glass of wine . . . preferable in a stemmed wine glass so the water is as appealing as can be.

        Drink slowly and enjoy.

        Eat slowly and enjoy.

        Tell friends whether its an AF or mod day so they don't pour wine if I'm doing AF. It's hard to turn down a poured glass.

        Keep O'Douls in the refrig. Take it with me if I'm out and it's an AF day. Order Cranberry Juice, Soda w/ lime if I'm at a bar on an AF day.

        Give up the guilt. See any mistakes as "learning opportunities". Focus on the successes. Use Drink Tracker. Print out a copy each month. Add up the AF days. Congratulate self each week and month for doing a great job.

        Keep in touch with MWO - used to be every day . .. now its a few times a week.

        You all are doing GREAT on the Modders thread. . . Keep up the good work.:goodjob:

        Fondly,

        Ask

        Comment

          #5
          Post Your Moderation Rules

          Ask,
          Your post really hit home to me as it's pretty much the ground rules I laid out for myself. However, I noticed I was breaking them and decided I had to change things around.
          Everyone really had good things to say here and I'm taking it to heart
          Hugs,
          Eve
          "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

          ~Jack Welsh~:h

          God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

          Comment

            #6
            Post Your Moderation Rules

            I have a few rules depending on how far along the moderation has progressed.

            DON'TS

            hang out with your heavy drinking buddies (unless you are looking to go on a bender)

            drink alone

            buy booze to keep at home just in case (in case of what? you need a drink or something? you know where that is gonna get you)

            use being upset, down, or lonely as an excuse to get blitz (what are you stupid?? drink some tea for christ sake)

            go to all you can drink or drink all night for free events ( you will regret it )

            go on dates with heavy drinkers (bad bad bad)

            be negative about your drinking instead take it easy and follow the steps in the DO'S below


            DO

            take some time to pamper yourself with things that make you feel good that aren't booze (hot bath, massage, movies, books, sex,walks)

            drink lots of water

            eat eat eat and take your supplements please

            exercise

            make some new friends who don't need to be tanked to have fun (this will be tough at first)

            enjoy that one or two glasses of wine or champagne (but that's it)
            You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

            Comment

              #7
              Post Your Moderation Rules

              There are NO RULES on MOD, that I could live up to.1 drink and I am GONE.I pray that isn't true for anyone else!!!
              sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

              Comment

                #8
                Post Your Moderation Rules

                :bump:

                Bump for zed.

                I thought this was a great idea too. Even started a thread about a week ago and got a handfull of replies. Got 5 stars too! So you could add yours or we could all add ours to your thread. Or we could have two threads. Whatever you like. :H :H :H

                periwinkle :h
                Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic

                Comment

                  #9
                  Post Your Moderation Rules

                  :bump:

                  ok, now I'm just feeling downright competitive. :H

                  Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Post Your Moderation Rules

                    I like this idea so we can compare and learn from each other. Just remember, we are each very different people, and when it comes down to it, our rules may work for us, but not work for everyone. But at the end of the day, we're more like one another than not. Oh, I'm sorry. Confusing myself and you.

                    1. No AL except for occasionally (special occasions) so it does not become the forbidden fruit.
                    2. Never drink alone at home.
                    3. Never drink for emotional reasons - bad day at work, hormonal reasons, H.A.L.T. (I got that from Deebs).
                    4. No more than 2 at a special dinner, or if a longer night or session, one an hour.
                    5. Drink non AL in between (I need to work on this).
                    6. Don't buy alcohol for the house, unless we're hosting a party.
                    7. Don't drink on Sundays or weekdays.
                    8. Only drink beer and wine (and as ZED SAID, only the best - I like that Zed).
                    9. 5-7 nights are AL free - no more than 2 special occasions ever in one week.
                    10. Keep the drinktracker on MWO and on my own calendar.
                    11. Never exceed 5 drinks in one week.
                    12. Eat before, during, or after drinking
                    13. Choose two weeks a month that I completely abstain.
                    14. Make sure that everything in my life is more important than these so-called special occasions.
                    15. Take Kudzu and L-Glut on a special occasion night.
                    16. Monitor my rules, track progress, reevaluate,and make changes as necessary - review this plan weekly.

                    Sorry so long. I'm a teacher. I'm all about rules!
                    Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Post Your Moderation Rules

                      WoopS! Didn't see this Peri dearest or i would not have started the other thread! Ye-gads, now we have 2 threads. Wonder if I can delete the other one...

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Post Your Moderation Rules

                        1. [b]The Quality Rule. If it's whiskey...single malt. If it's beer...micro-brewed. If it's wine...good wine. (Nothing off the cheap shelf) IF [a] I cannot afford the choice stuff, or It's unavailable, then I WILL NOT DRINK.

                        2. Two days in a row = No. (even if Day 1 was 1 drink..)

                        3. The 1 for 1 Rule. 1 AF drink for every AL drink consumed. No cheating.

                        4. Bars are okay, but stay away from Happy Hours.

                        5. Home is okay, but the Quality Rule must be applied strictly. That will automatically limit quantities from getting out of control.

                        6. Three big glasses of water before bed.

                        7. Keep the clear head.                         Soon as fuzziness starts to happen, it's time to stop.

                        8. Eat healthy,                         less cheese and bread, more veggies whenever possible.

                        9. Sleep eight hours.

                        10. Change the way I think                         and live to better accommodate the 'middle way' in everything I do.

                        11. Never get unattractive.

                        12. Stretch a lot.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Post Your Moderation Rules

                          moderation rules,just say no, ive had enuff

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Post Your Moderation Rules

                            i no you all can do tht

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Post Your Moderation Rules

                              Not to get technical Gyco, but that would be the rules for Abstention, not Moderation Cheers though, I appreciate your point; it's a good one.

                              Comment

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