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  1. #1
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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Good Morning Abbers once again! Time sure travels so fast.
    Well here it Wednesday and we are just moving right thru the week. Adding days to our recovery and well.....just moving forward!
    For me I want to bring everyone and everything I own along this journey with me. But that would be hard to impossible. I want to wait for those that I love to come along with me. But I realize that I just need to give myself permission to grow, even tho the people I love the most arent ready to change.
    I've thought about this as I read about spouses that still drink when the other is trying so hard down the road of recovery. We can not bring everyone with us on our journey of recovery. It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us. We're accountable for ourselves. When we let them go, we let ourselves grow! I just had to share this one with our group and myself again. As I am having a few struggles with this. More food for thought. Gabbs

  2. #2
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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Its so funny coming in here and getting confused about what day it is where everyone is cos its nearly 3pm here in ozzyland of the 6th sept and there is gabby welcoming in the day in the afternoon!!!! and I"m not drunk either!!!!

    Gabby, I agree so much with what you say above there. There is a huge part of me that thinks.. I've found this way, everyone should just agree with me (read - do what I say!!!) and I used to find it so hard when people slipped or left here.. I sort of took it personally. Anyway, I did just what you suggested above and I just focused on myself. I'm the only person that I really can influence.. its only me that can change me. For me, I mustnt do this for anyone other than myself - so while others can motivate me, I find that my highest motivation must come from ME for ME. That way, I'm trying to prevent a slip cos I'd be letting MYSELF down and that would go against doing this for ME. Of course, what others share can influence me (and has greatly here).. so dont think I"m not acknowledging what people do here.. its great.

    Its a huge thing to turn around my self worth... a real challenge and this is a big part of the issue for me... that I'm worth this fight simply because I'm me.

    So, everyone here in abstrainland.. have a great day clocking up the numbers.

    Brigid

  3. #3
    Registered User. pansy's Avatar

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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Morning all,

    Abs day 6. I am too tired to even post much. Fell asleep on the couch last night before I even finished my sleepytime tea. Guess I will no longer complain about not being able to sleep. Time for work. YAWN.

    Hope all are doing well,

    Pansy

  4. #4
    Registered User. Bambino's Avatar

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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Good morning everyone here

    I'm yawny too Pansy.. didn't go to bed till 2.30 and got up with hubby at 7 - I NEED my 9 hours sleep !!! Hope I'm not a grouch today.
    Well been busying myself catching up here, dyed my hair ( the same colour as it is naturally - dark brown, but to cover those naughty little grey monkeys that are starting to make an appearance - I'm only 35 - surely this shouldn't happen !!!
    Walked doggies.
    Washed dishes cos couldn't be bothered last night - Lazy Moo !!!
    Been to In-Laws for a cuppa and to collect some gorgeous bathroom tiles that were given to them and have changed their mind on their colour scheme - they are pale mottled blue - gorgeous - they are HUGE - and there is 35 of them - I could probably tile the whole house !
    So now I'm a tiler now as well as a sparks if anyone in Abstown requires my services - I;m your gal !! I'm getting right into this DIY thing. Gonna have a stab at tiling - ha - can you imagine.
    Leaving the re-painting of the bedrooms to Lee because he said he 'likes' to paint ( meaning can't do much else !! only joking Lee-kins xxx ) - that's in case he reads this !
    Off to DIY store - again, to get some adhesive, a tile cutter, and grout... - ooooh - and Mcdonalds is right next door - I can feel a naughty little treat coming on !!

    Will check in later - It's always tumble-weed hour at this time of the day, so look forward to everyone else's chatterboxing later.

    lotsa snuggles. :l

    Liz
    xxxx

  5. #5
    Registered User. YoungAtHeart's Avatar

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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Another Yawn!

    I made myself get up early with my daughter this morning so that I'd have time post and say more than "hello, goodbye!". I am so encouraged to see how busy Absville is, though! In fact, I'm going to quickly re-check yesterday's posts! BRB!

    Okay, this won't work. It took seven pages on my printer just to get through ONE PAGE ON THE THREAD!!! Now, I'll try to get through the next few pages, by taking notes!!! Help!

  6. #6
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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Hi all!
    Day 9 of abs. Love waking up with a clear conscience and free from guilt. It's 5 am here in CA. Woke early to make banana bread to pack in my boys lunch boxes. It's been too hot in the afternoon to turn on the oven. Wish we didn't have to wait til Nov here to enjoy fall weather! Off to work after I take them to school. I'll check back this evening. Gina

  7. #7
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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Good AM All!
    I have been in and out of Absville these past two days (but still abing - as in AF) - life has been coming at me fast and no time to post. Moving my daughter out and into her first apartment and my son started his sophomore year in high school and had his 15th birthday. Also birthdays for my step daughter and step son in law. Busy time for our business as well.
    Love to All of you and have a most wonderful Wednesday in Absville. Will catch up when things calm down later in the week.
    Jenn
    PS Lou Lou - Am praying for you

  8. #8
    Registered User. YoungAtHeart's Avatar

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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Really Back This Time!

    Hi Fellow Absters! (the regulars and irregular regulars! LOL!)

    I'll pick up on yesterday's theme of friendship, since I didn't chime in then. There were many profound things said that meant a lot to me. Nancy, boy do I agree that true friends will say the hard things to you that need to be said. They will say it with love, and those things will be hard to hear sometimes, but it's gotta happen for people to grow, and for love to grow, too, really. It reminded me of a good old friend of mine writing to me a few years after my divorce and really whapping me upside of the head and telling me to get off my *ss and stop feeling sorry for myself. She started her letter with, "I'm writing this because I love you, and I know you'll be angry, but please read this through." BOY WAS I ANGRY!!! How dare she ruin my pity party!! But I had to acknowledge that she was right, too, and it WAS TIME for me to start moving on and taking care of myself. We laugh about it now, but it was a hard letter for her to write and a hard letter for me to read. She could have just backed away from me, though, which ultimately would have hurt much more.

    Relationships are hard, and drinking is just one of the ways that we retreat from having them. I see it all the time in the "real world" too. People get addicted to all sorts of things besides alcohol--sex, drugs, video games, tv, shopping--rather than struggle with relationships and intimacy. It's hard to be intimate--in friendship and with our significant others, and especially, at times, with our own selves. It doesn't help that modern life demands an awful lot out of us these days just to survive, either! But I won't get on my soapbox about THAT today!

    I am grateful for the few good friends that I do have--I'm also at an age where all of my "drinking buddies" are concerned about their drinking as well, so even though we are avoiding getting together right now (to avoid drinking), we are starting to talk about trying to get together in ways that DON'T INVOLVE DRINKING. That's going to take work, though, because when we see each other, we start salivating for wine just like Pavlov's dogs started salivating when they heard the bell!

    On a day-to-day basis, though, I had often felt very lonely, and MWO has made a huge difference in that respect. The common bond I feel with all of you means so much to me. In the past the disappointments I felt in other people helped fuel my drinking (my ex, some girlfriends), and my drinking fueled my inability to find new friends and healthier boyfriends. It was a vicious circle. Eventually, I mostly spent time with my friend, Wine. Until I realized that Wine, too, was also slowly destroying my life and my sense of self, just like yet another bad relationship!


    family: Book Antiqua;">I don't know why we think we are supposed to be the life of the party, or ALWAYS keep conversations going, anyway, and why we think we should always be perfectly comfortable and at ease meeting new people. Why is that?? We have used alcohol as a social lubricant for so long!! In "real life", people ARE often awkward at first. If they can learn to tolerate the anxiety of meeting new people w/o the alcohol, friendships can eventually form. Or maybe they won't, but is isn't because of the lack of booze, maybe there just wasn't the common ground, right? Okay, I'll get off THIS soapbox now! LOL!

    At any rate....Gabby, I must say that you picked your name well, cause you do have the "Gift of Gab", and you use it in just the very best way! You are so supportive. I knew I had good instincts when I gave you a gentle nudge to be Mayor!! I'm giving you a big pat on the back and I'm giving myself a little pat too!!! LOL! You're really wonderful!

    Lou, how did the doc go?? I'm waiting to hear. Hoping everything went well, love!

    Bambs (Liz), you do what you think is the best regarding the topa. You have to feel comfortable with yourself and relaxed.


    Congrats on Day 5 Pansy. I'm glad that things have been going smoothly for you thus far. Also (in reading later) that falling asleep is getting easier, too. I know what a veteran insomniac you are, so that's terrific!


    Hey Gina, good luck with your transitions at work...sounds like a stressful time. Hope you can keep coming on chat. I always love talking with you there!


    I like your thoughts, Mike, you seem very down-to-earth. Thanks for the vote of confidence on the turquoise house as well. This color right here would do me fine! Maybe teal trim, like this? Naw, that's a little too, monochromatic. y;">Maybe a gray, although somewhat darker than this might be nice. I wouldn't want to go all the way to black, though. That would be too stark. Anyway.....teasing about house colors aside, I appreciate all of your thoughtful input here in Absville! I hope you stay a long time!

    Nancy, it was your thoughts that got me started on my long diatribe up there! As usual, you always have something helpful to contribute! I hope that sending the dateline link to your cousin helps! I can understand why you are worried about her! Enjoy those tomatoes! I remember the big fat Creole tomatoes I used to grow in New Orleans. Major yum!!! Save a few for me, would you?? Nothing like a home-grown tomato!

    CV, with your boyfriend deciding to crash your cleansing plans, PLEASE DO come on here as often as necessary. I have a sense of how you might feel. I like to get into a "zone" myself when I am starting on something, whether it is abs, a diet, getting into exercise, or whatever, and it is always good to just be able to got inside myself to focus. I hope that we can help you to stay centered in the next several days.

    Lucky, it is always good to see you. Stay close, girlfriend!!

    Good job on your three weeks, sophia!:good:


    Hey Macks, I've always wanted to learn to fish. Maybe, if your missus doesn't object, I'll pop over in my bubble and you can teach me, okay? I also love to sing karaoke, too, but I must confess, I've only done it while toasted. I wonder what it would be like to sing sober?? I think it would be fun! You and the missus could take me to the pub, and we'll sing them under the table instead of drink them under the table! We won't even have to squint or close one eye to read the words! I'd love to meet the missus and the kids. Then, I'll take care of the kids while the two of you go off and have a holiday for a day or two. How's that sound?? (Then I'll need a holiday of my own! LOL!)


    ;">Anyway, I hope I haven't missed anybody. If I have, I'll catch up with you soon. I have another full day today.

    Love to all!:h
    Kathy




  9. #9
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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Right on Gabby!

    Hello Everyone,

    Gabby your soooo right. From day one I have made it all about me! My longtime boyfriend doesn't drink alot so I don't have any influences in house. Outside of the house is a different story. Been drinking with my best pal for twenty years. At first she would say things like"Aren't you going to have a drink today?" Now after 25 days she can tell that I'm serious about it and hasn't said much.(although I can tell she is happy for me) I don't want to distance myself from her because she is someone I trust and value as a friend. Infact she is my best friend. All I can do is take care of myself and perhaps she might see that people can really be happy with out getting trashed. I'm feeling good and that is all that matters in Sola's world!(And the MWO World) Stay strong everyone! Not being drunk, hungover, or both is a good thing!

    Sola

  10. #10
    Registered User. YoungAtHeart's Avatar

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    Wednesday, September 6th

    Right on Sola!

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