4 Stages of recovery

[spacie]

4 Stages of recovery

Hello everyone,

Spacie here, I like PeaceSeeking am picking myself back up. Being AF for 1242 days I tricked myself into thinking I could have a glass of champagne new years eve 2010. Now it's September and I've been binge drinking and hate not having control. So here I am ready to get back to counting my AF days. When I looked back at the calendar for some reason I stopped counting the days and for me I think that was probably a big mistake. Anyway onward and upward I hope you all don't mind my joining you for awhile.

[mario]

4 Stages of recovery

Your more than welcome spacie, post & share & read, This community is great.hope to see you around you to cheyenne, :-)

[Cheyenne_5.07]

4 Stages of recovery

Spacie... oh man I can feel your pain. Our addiction is like the devil on our shoulder. We get some AF time under our belt, make a little personal progress in our lives and BAM! It gets in our ear & tells us, "See? You can be sober. You're strong now. Go ahead. Have just one drink. You can stop."

Lying SOB! If we could stop at just one drink we wouldn't be addicts! Our addiction is a life long arch nemesis. It would love nothing more than to trick us into drinking our kryptonite. All it has to do in order to destroy us, is to talk us into that first drink. We pretty much self destruct from there.

You know what I'm talking about, right? That downward spiral... Take a drink... or two... or twenty... feel bad about it the next day... beat ourselves up over it... swear off until the shakes start... or until we can't bear the hangover any longer and decide it'd be ok to just have a hair of the dog to get thru the day... only to wake up the next day wondering where that empty bottle or all those empty cans came from... feeling like sh*t... swearing off again. It's a self perpetuating cycle of self abuse. And before we know it, our whole lives are circling the drain... again. Relationships falter, jobs are on the line, money issues creep up and we are drowning in self loathing because in essence we did all that to ourselves... and to our loved ones.

Spacie? I'm so glad you're here! Please don't beat yourself up over this life lesson. For whatever reason you needed one last slip to secure your lifelong sobriety. I'm convinced you'll be stronger on the other side of this. Remember... the only thing you have to do right now... is to not drink today. You've had over 3 years sober. That's amazing and wonderful! I hope that encourages you in knowing you can do this. Please take advantage of this forum and post often. Even if it's just to say, "I'm breathing, but I'm not happy about it". It's so much better to be among supportive people like this forum has than to try to do this alone.

You too PeaceSeeker!

[mario]

4 Stages of recovery

Bump

[clare]

4 Stages of recovery

Bump.

[paulywogg]

4 Stages of recovery

this is a great thread! the first line about changing habits is hard for me cuz ive drank at work a million times and sometimes just driving into the parking lot is a huge trigger,plus theres a bar 6 doors down i used to spend the whole day at sometimes,i wish i could quit and work elsewhere but i cant,so im just trying to retrain my brain,and build new memories with that place,thanx for bumping this mario and clare!

[FlyAway]

4 Stages of recovery

paulywogg;1444614 wrote: this is a great thread! the first line about changing habits is hard for me cuz ive drank at work a million times and sometimes just driving into the parking lot is a huge trigger,plus theres a bar 6 doors down i used to spend the whole day at sometimes,i wish i could quit and work elsewhere but i cant,so im just trying to retrain my brain,and build new memories with that place,thanx for bumping this mario and clare!

OMG Pauly! I can't imagine. I've never been in a position where I could drink at work, thank God. That must be incredibly hard.

[Kradle123]

4 Stages of recovery

Cheyenne_5.07;959703 wrote: It's totally believable, but not scary, that it could take 5 years to become stable in sobriety!

Now that I'm almost 3 & 1/2 years without a drink, I feel like I'm just now really getting what sober living is. It's so much more than just not drinking, although that's really hard at first. It's about getting healthy physically, mentally, spiritually and socially, then living healthy too. And that takes time. It's about dealing with the past, facing my demons & becoming content with a past I regret (to quote a county song). I don't live in my past, but I don't deny it either. It's mine. I own it. I look at it as life lessons that I never want to repeat. That means I have to change. I need to practice living differently than how I used to. What's that saying? To do the same thing over and over but expect different results is insanity. So I've been trying to do things differently than I used to. Sometimes the results are great. Sometimes not so great. But at least there's a change, right? I mean, for every time we fail at something, we're that much closer to getting it right the next time we try.

There was a significant change in me recently. I realized that I can't always change things in my life that stress me out and challenge my mental & emotional sobriety. But sometimes I can... If I'm brave enough. I actually walked away from & basically severed ties with a family member (my mother) because the relationship was absolutely toxic to me. It was severely dysfunctional and codependent. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done without a drink. I mean really. Who disowns their mom? But once it was done, I can't even begin to describe the liberation! And it's so weird to say but since ending that insanity, it's like a switch turned on in my brain. I think with more clarity. My attitude is brighter. I'm finding motivation in so many areas of my life again. It was a necessary and, in my particular case, healthy move! No regrets.

Bottom line and back on topic... 5 years to find STABLE sobriety? Yup. I believe it and am looking forward to it!

Thanx for posting this topic. It's a wheel turner for me.

PeaceSeeking? Hang in there. We've all been where you are right now... several times. You're very brave to post but even more courageous to make this change. Remember, different behavior = different results. I'm excited for you

This post just completely spoke to me... :thanks:

Bump. :h

[witts end]

4 Stages of recovery

thanks mario
hope i make the 90 days then the five yrs sounds like a good plan
like you said we all have a choice and work out when you are in danger of a relapse ...
I usually think then it's okay to have a social drink but it's deadly that one drink
went to a gathering last week and didn't take any alcohol and it really was uncomfortable and boring because as the others all drank

[daisy45]

4 Stages of recovery

mario;935709 wrote: If you have decided that you need to get help for your drinking , you have already entered the first stage of recovery by admitting that you have a problem and seeking outside help.
This process -- reaching out for help and seeking some kind treatment or rehabilitation -- is known as treatment initiation. It is the first of four stages of recovery

If you are like most people who seek help for substance abuse problems, in the very early stages you probably still harbor some feelings of ambivalence about giving up your drug of choice, and you may still be in denial about the full extent of your problem. This is common for people in the early days. Denial simply means refusing to believe the reality of your circumstances. Many people new to recovery usually have some level of denial about their addiction. Denial can take many forms, from thinking that you can still control your substance use to denying that you are really addicted.

It's likely that during your substance abusing days you associated your drinking with certain people, places and things. Perhaps you always stopped by the same bar or you only drank when around certain people. You may even have had a favorite glass you drank from . All of these can be triggers that can cause you to relapse.
It is absolutely critical to your continued abstinence that you avoid the triggers and other high-risk situations. You need to helpyourself identify the people, places and things that you associate with your drinking and help you develop strategies for avoiding these triggers, Many alcoholics organize their entire daily routine around obtaining, drinking and recovering from the effects of their drink.
Once you quit drinking, there will be a void in your daily scheduled and/or a sense of loss. You may be used to a daily schedule that is chaotic and disorganized,. You may find it difficult imagining what you will do now that you are no longer drinking.

Not everyone experiences cravings during early abstinence, but for those who do, it can become overwhelming. Craving is a strong urge to return to drinking . Craving can be both physical and psychological to the point that you can become obsessed with thinking about drinking again.
you must recognize what craving feels like and learn that it is temporary and will pass. you must learn that you have choices; you can choose to "sit the craving out." You do not have to respond to the urge in a self-damaging way.
The longer you remain abstinent, the fewer cravings you will have and the less intense they will become. But if you give in to the urge, they will remain strong.

If you have been clean and sober for 90 days, you now need to put the tools that you learned in early abstinence to work toward maintaining your sobriety and avoiding relapse. maintaining your recovery is basically up to you. In order to maintain abstinence, it is important that you:

Avoid environmental triggers.
Recognize your own psychosocial and emotional triggers.
Develop healthy behaviors to handle life's stresses.

People get in trouble when they let their guard down after their early-absitence success. It is important that you not take your sobriety for granted and that your recognize the power of your addiction. Maintaining a recovery-oriented attitude is critical.
It is also important your participation in support groups and that you remain honest with yourself and others about your feelings and thoughts. Changes in attitudes, feelings and behaviors can quickly lead you to a relapse.
A relapse does not begin when you pick up a drink . It's a gradual process marked by negative changes in your attitude, feelings and behaviors. If you find yourself in the downward relapse spiral, do something different! Go to more support group meetings, spend time with others who support your recovery, maintain a heatlhy structure in your life, make sure you are in a drink-free environment and avoid external triggers. Take positive action to resolve any relationship, personal or work-related problems that are causing you stress.

The fourth stage is reaching advanced recovery in which you have achieved long-lasting abstinence and have made a commitment to continue to lead a lifelong sober lifestyle. Advanced recovery, sometimes called stable recovery, usually begins after five years of sustained abstinence.
Hopefully you have not only learned to maintain abstinence, you have also learned to make more healthy and productive choices in all areas of your life. Advanced recovery is living that healthy lifestyle for the rest of your life.
As you have learned during your journey , recovery is much more than merely remaining abstinence. Of course, maintaining abstinence is a necessary part of recovery and the core of your recovery program. But if you do not make healthy choices in all areas of your life, you will find it difficult to lead a satisfying, fulfilling life.
One group of recovery experts published a definition of recovery as "a voluntarily maintained lifestyle characterized by sobriety, personal health, and citizenship." Personal health involves not only to physical and mental health, but also social health -- participation in family and social roles. Citizenship refers to "giving back" to the community and society.
Even if you have been clean and sober continually for more than five years, you are still one slip away from a relapse. In spite of your success, you can continue your participation in your mutual support groups.
After five years of sobriety you are much less likely to have a relapse and you may not have to spend as much conscious effort to maintain your sober lifestyle, but your continued recovery can be a lifelong process. :goodjob:
Bump

[mario]

Re: 4 Stages of recovery

Just had another read of this, good imo.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: 4 Stages of recovery

Yep thanks Mario.

A relapse does not begin when you pick up a drink . It's a gradual process marked by negative changes in your attitude, feelings and behaviors.'

Ain't that the truth. I don't reckon many of us get up one day, say 'f**k it' and decide to take a drink. We may think that is the case but in my personal experience it has always been building up, bubbling under the surface for a while. Recognising this as it is happening and taking action before be get to the f**k it moment is key in maintaining our sobriety imo.