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One week on.....observations.

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    #1

    One week on.....observations.

    This is probably going to come out as a bit of a ramble. This time last week I was sitting here hungover and depressed, reading the threads and wishing I could just make it to Friday without AL. I made it to Friday, just by telling myself I wouldn't drink today and I actually managed to avoid AL for the whole weekend as well, so I am now on day 7 and wondering...can I really stay AL free for another week?

    Observations on how I feel? Stupid for letting my drinking get so out of control in the first place, obviously. But I also feel a little proud of myself, I proved to myself that I CAN get through a week without it, so why not another?

    I look and feel so much better than I did last week, but I am not kidding myself that this is going to be easy, anything but. But I DID surf the urges, and they DID go away and I have learned something.

    I have learned from this place, such a lot of great advice and shared experiences, and such a lot of hope! Posting and reading Newbies Nest and sharing the experience with others made it easier.

    I am not going to drink today, that's all I can say for now.

    I am also afraid, when I should be optimistic, I still feel so afraid. I think it's because I have managed a week, and I know if I fall the feelings of despair and shame and guilt will come back, I really don't want to let myself down like that again, but I know how weak I have been in the past.

    So, I wil not drink today, NO MATTER WHAT. I hope I can be strong tomorrow and the next day but I can only think about today right now.

    I just want to thank you good people for all the encouragement and support and generosity of spirit. Knowing I am not alone and that others are struggling and fighting and winning is such a great comfort!

    Sorry for rambling and thanks for listening.

    Maria xxx
    Tags: None
    #2
    One week on.....observations.

    hi fighting bac you said it its all in the day,look farther then that it gets to be to much,i wish you well hav a great day gyco

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      #3
      One week on.....observations.

      Well done hun just take it one day at a time thats all we can do as gyco says looking too far ahead can be over whelming.

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        #4
        One week on.....observations.

        Congratulations on your week. ODAT is definitely easier to think about, also feels good to have the accomplishment of a day well spent. Good luck!

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          #5
          One week on.....observations.

          Good for you fighting back, I am just getting on a good track myself. This is my first week and weekend also and it's really hard not to cry when you want to start feeling better and realize that, nope, I have to feel anxious another day. But I know it will be better soon and the first few days really are the hardest, so keep going! One day, we will take a good turn and be thinking more clearly. Concentrate on today only!! How are you doing Dancing, hopefully good. Day 3!:new:

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            #6
            One week on.....observations.

            Thanks gyco, fire, and fancy. ODAT is definitely the way for me, I find myself envious of people who can commit to a whole month at a time when sometimes just getting through a day seems like a mountain to climb! I am hoping that kind of confidence will come with time!

            getting happy, I can totally relate to what you are saying about anxiety, but for me alcohol seems to make it worse (apart from the part where I pass out and feel nothing!) especially the morning after when the guilt and depression take hold! Stick with ODAT, you will feel better!

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              #7
              One week on.....observations.

              Fighting Back ?

              Congrats to you!!! The first week and first weekend totally sucks. It is really hard to get past that point. When you do it is always easier the further you go. I am starting my third week AF and loving it. Not that you asked, here is my unsolicited advice just so you will be on the lookout. These are a couple of things that I have experienced/done recently that could help you.

              1) Don?t let your guard down! I found that after the first week, the cravings seemed to really diminish. Because I have been through the part before I knew what to expect. After the cravings were drastically lowered, I used to let my guard down. Then, at any given moment without warning a really bad craving would show up. I was hearing the words ?just one?, ?who will know?, ?you deserve it?, ?you?ve done good so why not reward yourself??.. The second week is actually worse than the first. You feel like crap on week one and are constantly fighting it. Week two seems better so you start coasting. Then from out of nowhere ? WHAM!
              2) Find a substitute ? I found that during my normal drinking times, I would make myself tea ? use the same glass, takes about the same amount of time to make, use a straw, etc. No buzz but something cold in my hand satisfied the mental part of the craving.
              3) Let everyone close to you know what you are doing. Yea, it?s a little embarrassing at first. But now, rather than knowing that if I take that drink I will be disappointed in myself, I now have a whole list of people that will be disappointed in me. Sort of a self-induced tough love approach.
              4) CELEBRATE your milestones! I called my wife at work and had her paged (she is a hospital nurse) just to tell her that I had made it to day 14!

              So there you have it. Again, congrats on getting to where you are. It is no small feat to make it a week and a weekend AF and you should be very proud of yourself! Take a ?that a boy/girl? out of petty cash!

              Regards,
              ItsJustMe
              AF since 10/16/10

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                #8
                One week on.....observations.

                :goodjob: Fighting Back you've achieved a huge amount by getting through your first week and first weekend and also to gettinghappy, I cried quite a few tears of frustration and anger initially.

                I found the first week very difficult but persevered and then I set my sights on 2 weeks but doing it ODAT, once I got through the second week I convinced myself that I was halfway to 30 days so why not give myself the benefit of a month AF and see how I felt. Slowly I started to appreciate how good I felt, waking up unhungover, having a nice taste in my mouth and no furry tongue, not worrying about people being too close to me and smelling the alcohol on my breath and seeping out of my pores............. I could go on and on you know what I'm talking about.

                All I know is I'm now heading for 3 months and I have never, ever felt so good, I've lost 11lbs without trying and by eating better, I have loads more energy and am achieving lots on a daily basis, my skin looks healthier and I've lost that tired and weary look. Friends are commenting on how good I look so I know it's not just what I see in the mirror.

                I never thought I'd get this far and so can you guys if you just keep concentrating on ODAT, hang in there and keep posting and reading the support on here really makes a difference.

                Good luck

                Dewdrop :h
                Enjoy today - there will be no other one quite like it....

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                  #9
                  One week on.....observations.

                  Great job FB - Onward you abbers! It's so worth it. You will thank yourself every day after you don't drink. Covered up with work but checking in for renewed strength and determination from all of you!

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                    #10
                    One week on.....observations.

                    Just me, Dewdrop, Choochie, I have read your posts over and over and I am filled with a kind of fearful hope. Fearful of going back to where I was eight days ago (drunk, filled with self loathing, hating myself and my own weakness) and also afraid because I have been so weak in the past and I am scared more of myself than anything I suppose.

                    But hopeful too, thanks to your honesty, your experiences and your thoughtfulness in sharing them with me....I think maybe, just maybe I do have a chance to break free. ODAT has been my mantra over the last seven days, and tomorrow, day 8, I will hopefully have the courage to repeat it. You guys rock, thank you so much!

                    :thanks:

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                      #11
                      One week on.....observations.

                      Fighting back...were on the same day and we can sooo do this! Heres to another GREAT, af week for both of us!
                      I was actually ABLE to GET UP(!!) on SUNDAY!!to bring my 81 yr old mum and kids to the 10 am mass and all day I was getting calls from her telling me it was so special to her to have her grankids and I stand there with her at sun mass, I sewar im going to do it every sun, what wonderfull memories my kids and I will ahev of sharing sun morns with my mum at mass, and its a pecial kids mmass as well so they are taken into the back of the church and get a child frindly gospel and pics to colour in, they loved it!

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                        #12
                        One week on.....observations.

                        Good on you FB, I found getting a full week under my belt was invaluable. It was great being able to say to myself 'well I was sober last Sun/Mon whatever, so I can do it again,' of course you're fearful - we all are, there is so much at stake for most people here - for me, it is my family, my marriage, everything I care about, they can all go in one glass.
                        Itsjustme makes some very good points. The further I go alone on this path the more I agree that telling people about being sober/ not drinking is a very good idea.
                        This is really worth it - every day you will feel better and stronger and the further you get from your last drink, the easier it gets. Good luck
                        Molly
                        Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                        contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                          #13
                          One week on.....observations.

                          crossposted Limers!I Don't do the mass thing but I know what you mean spending special time with your mum and children - I treasure those times I had with Mum.
                          Molly
                          Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                          contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                            #14
                            One week on.....observations.

                            Limers, good on you for Sunday! It's 7.15 am day 8 for me, got up early to take my 83 year old Mum to the hairdressers today! I think it's great that you enjoyed your sober Sunday so much and that you are spending valuable time with your mom and kids, well done.

                            Mollyka, I totally appreciate everything that has been posted, It'sjustme made some very good points. I have told my OH that I am concerned about my drinking and he is supportive (he doesn't know how bad it really is, no one does!) I haven't told anyone else yet, but I will have to if I continue AL free. To be honest, I am still a little bewildered by all this! (but in a good way!) :thanks:

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