Hi guys not sure if this is the right place to post, but here goes. 27 years old from scotland and have drank alcohol most weekends for almost half my life.
Started off with buckfast( 15% fortified wine with copious amounts of caffeine in it) at 14 every friday saturday and absolutely loved it felt braver funnier was more comfortable round girls ,seemed to cure my crippling shyness i had in my teens.
This mostly stayed the same until about 21 years of age and i got a decent job then alcohol at weekends wud strt friday at 5pm aftr work and wud not stop until early hours sunday morning. Later in life iv learned this was due to my self destruction low self esteem my depressed and anxious mental state.
Now iv never been an everyday drinker until times of strife such as relationship breakdowns, of which thrs bn many, then i would stay off work for weeks even months at a time and drink until i passed out and start agen havin some food in between.
Problem is iv been hospitalised from falling off a train platform bqckwards onto the track puncturing my lung breakin ribs and staples in my head. This still did not make me stop drnkn. Aftr 10 day stay in hospital in high dependency was on a 3 day bender within 2 days of gtn out. Iv had several broken noses from fighting, many nights in cells, court appearances from fighting, community service, drink drive charges, wrecked relationships girlfriends family childhood friends. BLACKOUTS almost evry wknd Nothing made me stop.
I went to see Dr. Chick in october 2011 he provided baclofen on a private script untilp y GP took it on moved upto 80mg quite quickly and had been doin ok with moderate drinkin. Lately i have slipped back into old habits. I have been absent from work on many mondays and tuesdays due to alcohol withdrawls in last few months. Currently off just now as the wknd thr about 200 pounds ws spent on drink and only about 50 of tht in a pub rest in an alcoholic haze. The withdrawals on monday morning were horrendous and by far worst iv had brain on fire haullacinations pouring with sweat bt shivering crazy night terrors.
Difference this time i havnt succumbed to a drink and now been since about 11pm sunday night. I have seen this coming for a while one more blowout before i cash in my selincro (nalmafene) script from dr.chick. i am so scared of losing my job as its fairly well paid and to find anothr one with my anxiety/depression issues not to mention criminal record would be too much for me at this stage in life.
Anyway this forum n have ducked back and firward to for 2years now and find inspring in times of mad cravings hopelessness and soulessness. Hope i can get my life back on track and live a happy healthy(ish) life with my wonderful partner who has stuck by me over some really dark times over last 2 and half years.
Your storys are familiar, they resonate but most of all inspire.
Cheers.
Started off with buckfast( 15% fortified wine with copious amounts of caffeine in it) at 14 every friday saturday and absolutely loved it felt braver funnier was more comfortable round girls ,seemed to cure my crippling shyness i had in my teens.
This mostly stayed the same until about 21 years of age and i got a decent job then alcohol at weekends wud strt friday at 5pm aftr work and wud not stop until early hours sunday morning. Later in life iv learned this was due to my self destruction low self esteem my depressed and anxious mental state.
Now iv never been an everyday drinker until times of strife such as relationship breakdowns, of which thrs bn many, then i would stay off work for weeks even months at a time and drink until i passed out and start agen havin some food in between.
Problem is iv been hospitalised from falling off a train platform bqckwards onto the track puncturing my lung breakin ribs and staples in my head. This still did not make me stop drnkn. Aftr 10 day stay in hospital in high dependency was on a 3 day bender within 2 days of gtn out. Iv had several broken noses from fighting, many nights in cells, court appearances from fighting, community service, drink drive charges, wrecked relationships girlfriends family childhood friends. BLACKOUTS almost evry wknd Nothing made me stop.
I went to see Dr. Chick in october 2011 he provided baclofen on a private script untilp y GP took it on moved upto 80mg quite quickly and had been doin ok with moderate drinkin. Lately i have slipped back into old habits. I have been absent from work on many mondays and tuesdays due to alcohol withdrawls in last few months. Currently off just now as the wknd thr about 200 pounds ws spent on drink and only about 50 of tht in a pub rest in an alcoholic haze. The withdrawals on monday morning were horrendous and by far worst iv had brain on fire haullacinations pouring with sweat bt shivering crazy night terrors.
Difference this time i havnt succumbed to a drink and now been since about 11pm sunday night. I have seen this coming for a while one more blowout before i cash in my selincro (nalmafene) script from dr.chick. i am so scared of losing my job as its fairly well paid and to find anothr one with my anxiety/depression issues not to mention criminal record would be too much for me at this stage in life.
Anyway this forum n have ducked back and firward to for 2years now and find inspring in times of mad cravings hopelessness and soulessness. Hope i can get my life back on track and live a happy healthy(ish) life with my wonderful partner who has stuck by me over some really dark times over last 2 and half years.
Your storys are familiar, they resonate but most of all inspire.
Cheers.
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