Hi everyone! Thank you to the great poster on here who made me think twice about leaving. The Skype Group is over and done. It was a nice experiment but I see problems already. To the person who I got into last night on there I apologize for what I said. Now I am going to lay some hard stuff on the table. I am 38 and single and screwed up relationships based on drinking. However, I do not need to be talked down to or preached to by people who are divorced and single moms and tell me I have no idea what it's like. Do you know what it has been like for me for 38 years of my life. No because I have kept my personal life private to me on here. Well it's coming out in the open now. I was born with a birth defect. It's called pectus excavatum which means I was born with out a breast bone. Doctor's for years have told me they have no idea how this would effect my life. Because my heart is positioned different than normal people any type of sharp blow to my chest could end my life. So I am always living in fear of the what if. Than add in as a child and a teenager I looked like a freak and got made fun of by everyone. It was always look at that. What's wrong with him? That was when I was little and would have my shirt off at the beach swimming and I developed a complex about it. Thus started depression and the why me feelings. I was so good at sports and in school but looking different than others always bothered me. I felt like I could never be attractive to a woman looking like some freak. And those feelings always seem to be with me. I really love the people on this site. So for those who have always been there for me during a tough patch. I am going to stick around. I can't blame my AL on all of that but I know it was a way I dealt with feeling good about myself. Even if it was just for a little while. I have no idea what my future is. All I know I can do is just keep trying to beat the demon and to realize that my health concerning not having a breast bone means I will always face a uncertain future. In some ways right now I feel liberated opening up to my friends here. Life can be so fun and at times just feel miserable. I will keep battling everyday and be here to support others. At this point I feel it necessary to keep my friendships on MWO in here and no place else. Thank you everyone and I apologize about taking myself out of the skype group. For my sobriety I had to do it. 
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