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    #16
    September Mod Squad

    There's nothing wrong if you enjoy drinking, I don't think; if it makes you feel bad afterwards, or is hurting your physical health, etc., then I think it's an issue. I had lunch today with a business partner and a client, we were at Eatly, on the Roof, which is this NYC Flatiron thing. Client wanted a glass of wine, so I had one; I actually had two, but we had a long lunch on this roof deck. I was fine. I didn't feel bad or drunk about it at all. I will probably go home, go on a run, and have a light dinner, if anything at all.

    OH, guapo, the recording I used was that app you recommended, you were right about that guys voice. I really put it on to just get to sleep....very cool.

    j.

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      #17
      September Mod Squad

      Glad you liked it, S.

      Kind of breaks up that mind chatter that drives you nuts, And resets things, doesn't it

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        #18
        September Mod Squad

        hi all -
        stewarts - i understand depression. are you living and pursuing the life you really want? just asking. i am asking myself these questions.

        i am having a good month. not eating a lot, or drinking a lot. i have a lot i am dealing with, that i don't want to get into detail here. to be honest, i am tired of dealing with teenagers. I am a single mom, and have been for a long time. i won't give up, ever on loving and taking care of them, but i am tired of care taking. i am journaling a lot about what i want and who knows? maybe i will change my life a bit. i am happy now, but feel a bit stuck and bored.
        has anyone here read The Heart Of Addiction by lance dodes? any thoughts? to me it makes a lot of sense.

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          #19
          September Mod Squad

          Hi Wild Ross, hmmm, that's a good question and I ask it myself a lot. First, I have nothing I should be complaining about. I did start getting my MBA, and truth be told, I often think about changing my careers. You can make a lot of money in it, you can also make zero. My heads have done an awful job growing and managing this office. With all that said, for better or worse, my family finances ensure that I will never be homeless and I even have some side business with my father.....but I guess things seemed so easier in my twenties and early thirties...I was married, I was making consistent great money, etc. I guess I just didn't see myself where I am now, when I was younger...which is actually a good spot, ironically. I know guys that would change to be in my place in a heartbeat...but I guess these are the things I think about...

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            #20
            September Mod Squad

            wow...it won't go away today... there's been no drinking, no anything, I can't shake the feeling...

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              #21
              September Mod Squad

              Hey, all,
              I was away for a few days, and am just getting caught up. Stewarts, you are definitely in my thoughts. I hope your Saturday is beautiful. Don't force things too much, but do get out amongst people and see if you can even fake a smile a bit. It is funny how just smiling (even if there are tears on the inside) helps. Others see your smile, smile back, and then it goes on from there. Be gentle with yourself but don't hide all day. Short excursions, maybe?

              -143, glad to have you back. It sounds to me as if you are pretty much okay with your life just now, even though you say you are struggling. We aren't all cookie-cutter, are we? Each one has a different route in life, and sometimes the routes we choose look very different from others, and that is okay. Enjoy the excitement of planning the shower and I'll hope the real rain holds off until your roof is better.

              WildRoses, I have read Heart of Addiction. I think it strikes other people a lot more strongly than it struck me, because I don't have a negative history to blame for any of my addictions. I definitely liked the way he treated us, though, with gentleness and caring.

              Fall came here with a fury. My garden (from which I was able to pick only five ripe tomatoes this summer - ) is dead. My kitchen counter is full of hard, green tomatoes which will only have a hint of what they should have been, as they ripen. However, the grape vine outdid itself this year, and today will be spent making grape pies for the freezer and grape jam.

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                #22
                September Mod Squad

                Just thought I'd post something, to keep the thread alive.

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                  #23
                  September Mod Squad

                  [QUOTE=Stewarts;n2377384] I had been noticing the classic depression thoughts creeping in all week. ... The depressive thoughts had already, before I even went out, thinking no one really wanted me around, which I know was not true. ... depression is creeping in. J. J, remember that depression is a lying bastard. It lies. A damn liar, everything it concocts is a lie. On your young business owning hopefuls, be kind, for they may be lacking strong connections to their frontal lobe, the filters that help determine socially acceptable practices, i.e. Talking to you when apparently studying or asking if partner Bob is in your 'pocket'. Be gentle with these young souls.
                  Constant relapsing is soul destroying.
                  I cherish my soul, it is the most important thing to me in the world. I cherish my soul even on th bad days. This is why I do not drink.

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                    #24
                    September Mod Squad

                    Ok, I am working on the quote thing; takeaway here is depression is a damn liar. Don't listen to it, what it has to say is always a lie.
                    Constant relapsing is soul destroying.
                    I cherish my soul, it is the most important thing to me in the world. I cherish my soul even on th bad days. This is why I do not drink.

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                      #25
                      September Mod Squad

                      ha...got it...my end of week got better...nng, I sent you a pm about it.

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                        #26
                        September Mod Squad

                        Ok, is it me or did our Board disappear?? I only found it because I searched for my last several posts....anyone?? j.

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                          #27
                          September Mod Squad

                          It has been relegated to an out of the way corner. It is one of the least frequently posted to boards here. I think the general idea of moderation is the very antithesis of the MWO viewpoint.



                          Are things going better, Stewarts ?

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                            #28
                            September Mod Squad

                            Hey Guapo, things actually are going better. I had a good end to my last week. You do have me a weird day today though, I'll get to that in a second. Last week ended well, I met a very nice person, or got reacquainted with a very nice person over a long run. It didn't hurt she was absolutely stunning either. :-) Outside of that, she's into the same things I am. I wasn't expecting anything, then I started thinking, wait a minute this is date ???? We did drink after our run, nothing crazy though. She's on vaca and will be back soon.

                            So, last night I was at a work event and stayed out later than I wanted to do. I feel a little weird today. Nothing bad happened. The only thing, and I don't consider this bad, is I ended communications with some old girls I was dating. It's just a day at a time, I guess. I just need to constantly remind myself, how I might feel if I have too much fun.

                            Last week was a little scary, because I wasn't drinking or doing anything and felt terrible.

                            Anyway, I hope people still stay on the Board.

                            j.

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                              #29
                              September Mod Squad

                              Thanks to Stewarts and TMH I found us! I really do not like the new look nor the fact that the board isn't user friendly ... ah, well. Things change.

                              All is well here, and I am looking forward to a good week. The weekend was a mixture of beautiful weather, lovely scenery, and uncomfortable feelings, but all is better now. It isn't often that my husband and I have disagreements, and this turned out to be our week. (Nothing to do with alcohol, either, by the way.)

                              Hope all is well with all of you. I'll be back, I promise!

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                                #30
                                September Mod Squad

                                HI everyone....well drinking really isn't my problem right now. I am having motivation and depressive thoughts...when I am not active, I start obsessive on stupid things. Normally, I'd go for a run, but I have a hockey game tonight and that's usually a bad idea. I didn't drink all weekend, as I said I would(n't). I have no cravings for it. I am not sure what is wrong with me again. I told myself I do an AF 30, we shall see, 3 of the thirty are done. I just don't know why I can't feel myself anymore.

                                j.

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