So lost

[Tidegirl]

Re: So lost

Thank you-- except for melatonin she was not recommending supplements because they aren't FDA regulated and so not sure if they are liver processed. Melatonin is not according to her-- I'll ask her about this one. It's worth a shot! I only asked for the Benzos out of fear that I'd seize and that was my anxiety talking I think-- though one can never know as you said. I'll stay close!

[Wildflowers]

Re: So lost

[MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION] Glad your feeling better!... :smile: Not sure why your posts are getting lost. Looks like the last one made it through. Very good that your liver enzymes are only slightly elevated. Can you ask your Dr if it's okay to take Milk Thistle for your liver? Many of us use it. Have used it for many yrs and has worked, so far. Honestly, mine should be out of range in a negative way.

Also if you can add fresh squeezed lemon to your water. Helps clean the liver of toxic substances. Possibly add magnesium, vitamin B-12, along with L-Theanine Mom2JTx3 mentioned. Decaffeinated green tea naturally contains L-Theanine. Good to hear of all your positive news today. We look forward to hearing more in your AF journey.

[empyr3al]

Re: So lost

Are you referring to the amount of possible seizures or time alone? I know that all of it could be dangerous. The anxiety and lack of sleep feel very real but the physical stuff like diarrhea etc has gone. I even got some housework done to try to avert my mind. I then wrote a note about what I was feeling at the highest point of desperation as I want to pull it out if I ever feel like drinking again. Every hour farther away from the drinking will be better I think. At least I pray so.

Uhm, both I suppose. Withdrawal even without seizure is scary. The dreams and everything else. Sweats. Not being able to stand still. This is why I firmly believe in medicine to calm these affects and to aid in recovery. The physical real stuff is actually pretty insane if you have done it like I have. Kindling as been mentioned. I think that once I realize what I'm doing I get extreme fear and it all comes back in a flush. So essentially you relive what you have done in the past. I was way past you. All that came up was liquid, and all that came out was liquid. That took more than 24 hours. For an instant vitamin fix that won't mess to much with your stomach I recommend Ensure or a similar product. Because seriously when you haven't eaten in days its pretty hardcore. You can probably figure out what I use but vitamin wise I need something solid in my stomach before I use things. If it (don't have the time to read everything) was hard alcohol you can actually have chemically induced pneumonia. Inhalation of hard alcohol can cause some weird things. So inhalers in combo with vitamins work. Traditionally its dimenhydrinate so your stomach can tolerate a solid substance. You sound like you are not in as hard a spot so just keep eating.

On the topic of isolation. Its good for a while so you can get yourself balanced and don't feel guilty. But it can become overwhelming. We have detoxes here where I live so you are always around other people. Isolation can cause deep issues. I am never really alone but I might feel that way. A pet is always good as you can wake up cheery. Sleep is hard during the come down. I've done everything known to man and so far the only ones that work well for me are Mirtazapine and Dimenhydrinate. Well Benzo's work too but thats a whole other issue.

Isolation. You are not isolating if you are chatting on a forum. Technically maybe but you are not being judged. Welcome and I hope we can all help eachother.

[empyr3al]

Re: So lost

Also if you can add fresh squeezed lemon to your water. Helps clean the liver of toxic substances. Possibly add magnesium, vitamin B-12, along with L-Theanine Mom2JTx3 mentioned. Decaffeinated green tea naturally contains L-Theanine. Good to hear of all your positive news today. We look forward to hearing more in your AF journey.

I find adding acid to my already empty stomach a horrible idea. I find it awesome later in recovery. Pineapple is my favorite fruit and it takes time but helps a lot. Do not smoke cigarettes, it causes acid reflux like crazy. I use squirts to water like cool aid, Mio, etc so that even water becomes tolerable. Because often even water isn't tolerated by someone coming down.

I hope you are doing well [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION] and never experience hell.

[empyr3al]

Re: So lost

Thank you-- except for melatonin she was not recommending supplements because they aren't FDA regulated and so not sure if they are liver processed. Melatonin is not according to her-- I'll ask her about this one. It's worth a shot! I only asked for the Benzos out of fear that I'd seize and that was my anxiety talking I think-- though one can never know as you said. I'll stay close!

Melatonin is a once and for all thing. There is no coming back. You deplete what its playing with and will never sleep again. Do not abuse it and only use as necessary.

[Tidegirl]

Re: So lost

Thanks all. Given Benzos are processed by the liver she did not want to do it unless I was really in a bad way. The unregulated supplants is why she is against most-- she says with abstinence the liver heals itself-- usually within 60 to 90 days. Now staying abstinent will be the work but I booked a therapy appointment and am journaling plus here so hopefully... I did sleep a few winks was more active today so am thinking maybe I'll get more. I was so in my head! I don't smoke, eat clean and have no health issues except hereditary blood pressure elevation -- well controlled and low thyroid. Have lost 23 pounds in the past year with good diet. Exercise a work in progress! So hopefully I'll be ok. Had I known my enzymes were even a little off I may still have had the 4 binges so who knows but I pray I won't again. Thanks so much for the help. I have a 11 year old boy and must do it for my family as well as myself.

[empyr3al]

Re: So lost

Took 30 days for me the last time to come back from "flagged" elevations in AST/ALT/Bupropion. Been normal for months. Its free here so I test often. If you are like me you can recover quickly despite the insults we did to our body. Motivation is a huge part of success so having a boy should give you some motive. You are not isolating then. The time tickers are between 24 and 76 hours and could be longer if you are not tapering. You sound okay and I'm happy for you!

I would suggest a CBT course even if online if you can get them where you live. SMART is another alternative (give it a google). Helps manage anxiety and depression. Mindfulness is the more polite way of saying CBT. Sounds like you have it well in gear Happy for you! I'll find some nice links if you want that changed me entirely.

[Tidegirl]

Re: So lost

Thank you. I am a horrid sleeper anyway -- I think melatonin was only recommended short term--I asked the pharmacist as well and he seemed to think it was okay to take long term. Honestly I do not like taking medications I do not need so I hope I'll get back on track with physical activity and no alcohol. Things that numbed me depressed my sleep and I think I could not put myself to sleep naturally. I practice good sleep hygiene but what I was doing to myself was screwing it up big time. I like the one on one CBT but support groups I am all for. I now have had no alcohol for 2 days-- I just decided I was at a level where the beer was as low as I could go and better stop. I would drink a combination when I binge-- a little hard, beer, wine. When you binge you know it's off to the races and often you don't know how much you really drank so there's that. I used to get migraines and had to take some pretty heavy duty stuff that was hard on the liver but I always tested fine-- wasn't drinking much then. I started after my mom passed away after a prolonged hospital stay and I started to care for my dad who was a depressive and emotionally abusive. He even told my sibling once he did not care if our health was ruined by him not going into assisted care, he cared about himself. I hired him a caregiver and talk to him very infrequently now. I handle his business affairs as I promised my mom I would but we have no relationship. He drives the anxiety up and my son suffers from some anxiety issues even at 11 where he gets very spun up, doubts himself etc. he went to group and individual therapy and does well when he is not around people who are prone to lots of emotionalism and unhinged behavior-- I can't really take him to my dads because it is a negative to him and myself. My priest says my obligation is first to the family I made with my husband but I know I feel some guilt about not having a relationship with my dad because my mom would have wanted that and my sister has to shoulder a lot emotionally from him. It has really hurt a close relationship that we had. I know that's a ton of info but I'll be dealing with all that in therapy and to stay quit so I needed to define or at least try. The withdrawal on separate occasions scared me but not enough until this last time. It was time to get real-- hope it is the beginning of the great sober birthday!

[Guitarista]

Re: So lost

Congratulations on 2 days off the turps Tidegirl! that is really great work. Day 3 tomorrow. Go for it and do what you've gotta do. Throw in heaps and heaps of self luuuurvin'. k? K.

[Neo]

Re: So lost

Thanks all. Given Benzos are processed by the liver she did not want to do it unless I was really in a bad way. The unregulated supplants is why she is against most-- she says with abstinence the liver heals itself-- usually within 60 to 90 days. Now staying abstinent will be the work but I booked a therapy appointment and am journaling plus here so hopefully... I did sleep a few winks was more active today so am thinking maybe I'll get more. I was so in my head! I don't smoke, eat clean and have no health issues except hereditary blood pressure elevation -- well controlled and low thyroid. Have lost 23 pounds in the past year with good diet. Exercise a work in progress! So hopefully I'll be ok. Had I known my enzymes were even a little off I may still have had the 4 binges so who knows but I pray I won't again. Thanks so much for the help. I have a 11 year old boy and must do it for my family as well as myself.

I don't think some docs fully understand alcoholism. If you haven't ever been prescribed val before,It has been far superior to anything for stopping the anxiety for me. I thought at least they could give you 5 tabs .That being if anyone is serious on giving up . My last 30 x 5mg tabs of val lasted 7 weeks which was pointless as on and off AL with Benzos in the mix. That's not really where you want to head.I've just done 8 days AL & NT and also Benzo free (Wasn't hooked on them)

Day 3 will be the test. stay strong and if you feel anxiety or anything wrong, prob best to get to ER . That's where val comes in handy however + smoking increases anxiety too

[Tidegirl]

Re: So lost

My mom died of lung cancer so I don't smoke and never would-- she had an operation to remove her tumor and never went home. That probably started the slide as I described above. Each day should get better -- the racing thoughts and anxiety were shame and fear induced I think -- I will work on it in therapy for sure. Thanks all

[Tidegirl]

Re: So lost

Today has been a strange one. No drinking but extreme fatigue due to lack of sleep. Hopefully that will soon change. Feeling very bloated as well-- I've lost weight since I began the binging but have a bit of a pot still. Wondering if that will go with staying off the sauce. This summer we are scheduled to go overseas and I'd hate to ruin that by being out of shape. This may give me something to focus on along with therapy. Idle hands and all. Hope everyone is well

[ssd858]

Re: So lost

Hang in the Tidegirl - once you get past the first week you will begin to feel better.
Can you give yourself rest today? I found day 3 really tough and had some gastro issues for a few
weeks. I am sure it has been said, but I will repeat - eat a lot during the first few weeks.
It really helps with any cravings.

[empyr3al]

Re: So lost

Today has been a strange one. No drinking but extreme fatigue due to lack of sleep. Hopefully that will soon change. Feeling very bloated as well-- I've lost weight since I began the binging but have a bit of a pot still. Wondering if that will go with staying off the sauce. This summer we are scheduled to go overseas and I'd hate to ruin that by being out of shape. This may give me something to focus on along with therapy. Idle hands and all. Hope everyone is well

Its always strange, day 3 especially for me has been the strangest through every experience. Mirtazapine was given to me due to weight loss and I needed to get an appetite back my BMI was off. I was under weight.

You're doing well. Day 3 is always weird so try to keep preoccupied. I always have used hobbies like cooking when I hit that point.

[Tidegirl]

Re: So lost

Just got my son and his friend home from school-- we are doing a BBQ for his birthday tonight and the kids are playing basketball etc. we ran into the store to get ice and so many people were buying beer and wine and looking so happy for the weekend. I wonder if I will always look at people who drink versus not drinking so acutely or will I one day not notice it at all ? I hope the latter. I feel physically pretty good except for being very tired. You were right about the food though-- I have been really hungry and have wanted to eat all day! Though I did control myself -- I had a small cup of ice cream and I haven't done that in at least 13 years-- I was pregnant when I did!! I haven't craved sugar which is surprising as I know AL has a ton of it-- I was not diabetic at my last physical 5 months ago-- luckily not even close -- that had been a fear of mine. I wish I knew how long it would take my liver to go to normal. She did not tell me the numbers-- just said slight elevation. But she suggested I do 90 days without so that if it remained elevated we could probably rule out alcohol as the cause. My mother had a condition called primary biliary cirrhosis-- which is not caused by alcohol( and my mom did not drink) but is some thing caused by a back up at the bile duct -- it can be hereditary and cause the numbers to be bad. I guess we will know in 3 months. I hate having any issue-- especially when I know that it's my "fault". We are going to Ireland this summer and I'm a bit afraid of that. Last time we went I did not have issues so a few beers was fine but I know it can never be like that again!