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    #16
    Re: Is anyone available to help?

    Just wondering how your doing today? Glad hubby is there with you. We are here for you, let us help. PM me if you like. I'll help anyway I can.

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      #17
      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      Thanks so much. I am determined to stop this destructive cycle. Whatever it takes. Anxious still and getting sweats but think it will improve as days pass.

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        #18
        Re: Is anyone available to help?

        [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION] Valium saved my life. I still have about 50, maybe 100 5mg pills on hand if things get crazy but I am not addicted to them, which is why I have so much because my GP knows what I am doing. Honesty is important. When i lapse, relapse I know exactly what to do, so I can do it at home. Takes a lot of practice.

        As was said ER if you worried or have only done this a couple times before because it is not fun and not a joke. Rehab or our local detox will give you an insane amount of valium, like 60mg to 90mg to calm you down.

        Because I am wary of Benzos (Valium), which I have a ton of and afraid of cross addiction, I have used an alcohol taper which is hard to manage self done and its up and down as I have done it under control before but I have to learn to do it myself. I know most object to that concept but its working. Addiction is a recurrent disease so its hard to manage. I have thousands of dollars in drugs to stop alcohol. When I stop one or another to try to be clean I end up relapsing.

        72 hours complete clean is when it becomes clear. I know you altered that so taper as best you can.


        And yes will pray for you again
        Last edited by empyr3al; July 13, 2017, 12:46 AM.
        "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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          #19
          Re: Is anyone available to help?

          Not drinking at all all of today and most of last night. Except for the usual ridiculous worse case scenarios going through my mind-- I'm beginning to perk up. Sleep is always an issue when this happens. I won't be sleeping due to anxiety and I'll think oh lord-- I better my liver will go out ( not had any signs of it but you know where the mind goes). I'm afraid of benzos due to the potential of addiction but if I needed them I'd take them. I'm going to be in the therapist office everyday until we leave for London and Diblin in 11 days. I've never detoxed in a rehab, have stayed at home and I will say-- there are times when the sweats and nausea are too much-- not to mention the poo and inability to eat much. Thank you for your advice.

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            #20
            Re: Is anyone available to help?

            [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION] ..............rest when you can, love, even if your sitting or lying down its resting............you will get through this first week.........I don't often make promises here but as long as you don't drink I promise you'll be feeling well in a few days.............tired no doubt but a damned sight better than you did on Wednesday.

            Oh and bananas..........excellent idea.

            And keep those numbers close............bit like a security blanket.
            It could be worse, I could be filing.
            AF since 7/7/2009

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              #21
              Re: Is anyone available to help?

              I will. Felt rotten half of Tuesday and most of today. But I am getting out tomorrow to do errands and that will keep my mind off things which is good. It's very hot here though-- oppressively so so I hope the sweats ease up. I did clean up-- hate when things are disordered as it makes it worse. I've been wondering if a couple of my sons friends moms suspect the drinking and are limiting contact with me or him due to being afraid of having them here. I may just be paranoid but it seems so in a way. I try to not drink much in front of them all but I'm sure they've seen beers and kids are much more observant than you think. I know my sons sitter has seen the bottles but she is not judgmental and I believe her dad has had similar issues. I just don't want those hens talking behind my back. That would be awful for my son. Well-- all I can do is just stay AF and they will see me do that. I think one mom thinks the booze is for my husband to have after hockey but I'd hate to alienate her as she's actually one of the closer friends I have.

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                #22
                Re: Is anyone available to help?

                [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION] where are you? You might have told me before but I talk to so many people. I speak in celsius because I am Canadian and from very southern ontario on the great lakes so things go a little nuts at times. So 82F is 28C otherwise its roughly 1.5 F to a C. But we start at 0 which is water freezing. Not 32. Humidex makes it like 35C. I'd guess like a 100F and peaking at 120F. So its freaking hot here.

                I agree completely with keeping it off you mind. Do it as much as you can and be active if you are able. I have a new puppy so my place is a bit of a mess but yes I get you when you say you like it clean.

                The paranoia will pass, it may be true but for you it will pass eventually as its becomes acceptance. Key sentence you said is kind of a curiosity. You are being sober for your son? Thats great and all but doesn't fix F all because you want to be clean. The worst sentence I have ever heard was "Do it for yourself". I argued this endlessly because loving someone is a key part of myself. So do what you need. GOOD LUCK TODAY!

                I am not AF YET using my taper slowly, its so low that something else must be going on. Again I prayed for you liike 6 times today everytime I wake up which is like every 2 hours.

                Yeah I ramble. Sending you love.
                "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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                  #23
                  Re: Is anyone available to help?

                  I just had my tea consisting of Chicken with potatoes pea's etc and my daily pills. 2 x Mega B vit , 1 x Vit D (I don't always get enough sunlight) , 2 x 500mg thiamine and 3 x 2000mg fish oil and I stick to only tankwater. Only had sugary drinks when on cigs. This has helped with relapses I've had in the past and to come back strong/recover quick if I screw up .Good diet routine helps.

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                    #24
                    Re: Is anyone available to help?

                    [MENTION=22857]Neo[/MENTION] so this tea is your dinner? Just curious. I'd like to learn more if you want to PM. Yeah sugar is not good. But if you look at it alcohol is a carbohydrate as is sugar so some how you have to replace it. I've done it well using fake sugars in fake food when and if I need it. Its not an addiction its a repair. So what we call freezies (frozen sugar water with flavour) or squirts into water. Water hurts right off the bat so thats the reason I mention it.

                    Getting 2 hours sleep at a time because I will not use my drugs. I have to do this right. It hurts.

                    again [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION] have a good day. I prayed for you again.
                    "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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                      #25
                      Re: Is anyone available to help?

                      Tea being in Australia. I replaced my sugar with other foods. Protein powder etc. It was good when I quit smoking as I got hungry and thought if I'm going to eat, just keep good foods in the house .My thoughts is trying to rebuild the immune system after all the alcohol we put in

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                        #26
                        Re: Is anyone available to help?

                        I'm in the American South and the heat index is likely over 100 F most days. That's what air condition is for. Yes-- I'm doing this for myself but a key is to be a better mom, friend, wife is essential to being my best self. I do have healthy food around and am going to get more today. I don't smoke so I'm good there. Still drinking decaf teas and water-- gotta rehydrate. Thank you for the prayers! I'll take all I can get!

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                          #27
                          Re: Is anyone available to help?

                          Originally posted by Tidegirl View Post
                          I'm in the American South and the heat index is likely over 100 F most days. That's what air condition is for. Yes-- I'm doing this for myself but a key is to be a better mom, friend, wife is essential to being my best self. I do have healthy food around and am going to get more today. I don't smoke so I'm good there. Still drinking decaf teas and water-- gotta rehydrate. Thank you for the prayers! I'll take all I can get!
                          So you understand love by what you have desribed. thank God you dont smoke because its a curse. Again up 2 hours later. I will pray again. This new keyboard is a little hard to get used to and this message took about 5 minutes. My last one cost over 200$ so this $180 one is a little different and is taking time as I talk a lot.
                          Last edited by empyr3al; July 13, 2017, 08:42 AM.
                          "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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                            #28
                            Re: Is anyone available to help?

                            Thank you. My mom died of lung cancer so smoking was never going to be it. Felt a bit dizzy and short of breath -- guessing it's the best and anxiety us lack of sleep. No heart problems in the family and though I've not exercised a ton I'm regular BMI. It is so hot here!!

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                              #29
                              Re: Is anyone available to help?

                              We are under a heat warning here! It's made everyone grouchy. I think stay in as much as possible-- the dizziness when I get up is crazy after being outdoors even at a pool! Was just trying to get my child out of the house but maybe movies are a better choice. Only slept 2 hours last night but it's something! Hoping for more tonight

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                                #30
                                Re: Is anyone available to help?

                                [MENTION=23314]Tidegirl[/MENTION], I avoid the heat by trying to sleep during the day. Not something you can likely do with family. Yeah we have heat warnings like crazy then it all breaks when we get a thunder storm. We have had so much rain that the great lakes are overflowing and most of our lake areas are blocked off. Crazy because its the largests area of fresh water. We have to control it and its in news daily. I live near a canal that makes it so you can get over Niagara Falls which is huge if you have seen it. We are having massive problems though like i said all our stuff is underwater. We could let it all go but the way the northern or midwest USA gets stuff as well as us is with this canal and if we drain it to fast the ships cannot get in though the St. Lawernce seeway. On top the falls are massive weirs so we can control it. Lake Ontario is screwed up at the moment. So we hit like 120F for a week then drop to like 70F for a couple days after the rain. Which is a massive break for a period of time. The rain we grade in millimeters here but id say in a week we are getting nearly 2 inches currently, its wealth but a problem at the same time. Its also unusual so climate change is doing something crazy.

                                [MENTION=22857]Neo[/MENTION] I managed at one point to get all my system back in balance, check my photos on my profile for screens cuts of blood work. Immune systems. Allergies or what I think are allergies are crazy right now. So your tea is a cup or two of all these things broken down. I have a pestal and mortar so I could do this.
                                Last edited by empyr3al; July 13, 2017, 04:57 PM.
                                "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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