22 March

[Samstone]

Re: 22 March

morn all
looking like a warm day here coming up. Everybody doing ok? TG, hope your hubs is better, that sounds really rough. don't forget the 2 necessary items for haircut, scissors and a bowl!
Lav, allergies so far have been ok, the spice bush is my real nemesis. Shenandoah park really is pretty. won't be long till all the open views will be closed in by the leaves.
PQ, it a great hike, best in the winter, no bugs no snakes!
Det, hope you're right about the financial aid being available, lots of people are going to start hurting financially. hope you're doing ok, you and Pauly.... many cases there?
Mick, how's things your way? like the mall joke!

well sir, out and about to work. fortunately I don't have to interact with folks too much.
have a good one all

[Mick]

Re: 22 March

hiya all how are we today then? hope all and dependants are well or getting better .Just heardon the news that good old Boris has got it ..Well thats the garage now cleaned up ...even the rabbits wipe their feet before going in ..Just planted up some bulbs in the garden ..Julie still working from home ,so the dining room is now her office ..it was my model making room .

Hi tee gee ...how are you today then? feeling better? hows your hubby doing ? hope things are well with him.or at least improving .Ive got the sniffles and a bit of a cough but nothing major just a seasonal job .Yes Belgravia is well worth watching ..Ive got the last series of Victoria recorded too ..havent watched it yet so that will be a binge job.take care stay safe .

hi Sam the man ...well did you get the warm day then?yes that Shenadoah park looks good .tings are the same here as everywhere else I guess ..thankful Ive got the views though ..you take care mate..

hiya ppqp...how are you today then? hope its all going ok for you .has your internet sorted itself out yet?hows the online bridge doing ?hope all is good ..do you play for points or anything?

hiya Lav ..how are you today then?hope all is well ..how is son doing? masks?last time I wore one of them and gloves went to the bank ..ever so nice folk ..gave me lots of money just for turning up ...hope you have a good day ..stay safe

hiya pauly pie slo,Nora c and anyone else who drives by ...stay safe n sober .

take care ..

I'm having a quarantine party this weekend!
None of you are invited...

I wouldn't want to be the first bloke to walk out of the chip shop when this is all over. A flock of starving seagulls will tear the poor sod to pieces.

During this virus lockdown I'm bored, so I decided to hold a wet t-shirt contest.

Looking at them hanging on the line, I've decided I like my red one the best.

One thing I've noticed about this coronavirus malarkey is that there doesn't seem to be quite so many holiday adverts....


Q) Why did the bacterium cross the microscope?

A) To get to the other slide.

I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs,

The birds love it!
I just slipped on the floor of the local library..

I was in the non-friction section.

Q) How do you make a Venetian blind?

A) Poke him in the eye.

Q) What do you call a man with a rabbit in his mouth?

A) Warren.

Q) What do you give to a man who has everything

A) Penicillin.

I just bought a suit made from a cactus..

Looking pretty sharp!

I met somebody at work today called William Hill,

What are the odds?

I bought a rocket salad..

but it went off before I could eat it.

I spent most of last night in jail..

Couldn't roll a double for the life of me.

A hypnotist once convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I’m easily lead.

I've decided to marry a pencil.
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

I just passed a whole field of sheep on the bus today..

No idea what they were doing on a bus though.

I just saw an Apple store getting robbed,

Police have detained me as an iWitness.

Q) What's small, brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A) A coconut in disguise.

If you've never worn a blindfold when playing darts before then you should try it,

You don't know what you're missing!

Approverypriate!

Sorry.. that was very in appropriate.

As a painter, I'm proud to say that some of my work is now on show in the National Gallery,

I did the skirting boards.

I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt.

Then it clicked.

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes the Police come out with your hands up.

Q) How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

A) You will see one in a while and one later.

If you work out how a magician does a trick..

Is he disillusioned?

Q) How do you make a cat flap?
A) Throw it off a cliff.

Did you hear about the lonely pyromaniac?,

He's still looking for the perfect match.

My son took his first steps this morning..

The window cleaner was furious.

The rotation of the planet Earth really makes my day

My mate is a professional jester, but he's currently out of work

He's nobody's fool!

I had a Bonnie Tyler Satnav, but it was awful.

Just kept telling me to turn around, and every now and then it fell apart.

Don’t you hate it when people
answer their own questions?

I do.

·

I recently ended a 5 year relationship.

It’s OK though, it wasn’t my relationship.

My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night..

He was caught in a trap.

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day..

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

Yesterday evening I had to change a lightbulb, a bit later on I crossed the road. Then I walked into a bar

life is a joke

[porqoui]

Re: 22 March

MAE ALL...

TG...you and your hubs are in my prayers daily. I sure hope he can recover from home, I'd hate to see you have to take him to the hospital. Yes, I am currently working from home, actually just finished website and online programming updates so that's me done for the day. LOL Meals are getting challenging, sure glad I like eggs!

Sam...I keep forgetting about the snakes, not used to them here. I'm glad you're able to physically distance while continuing to work. You've probably been cooped up in the house long enough.

Mick...it's just as well you got your model making moved up to the attic when you did. I'm glad Julie is safe at home and that the rabbits are doing their part. Are you still able to get your fresh food meals delivered? I was thinking now would be a good time to check them out but it could be too late. All grocery deliveries are about 2 weeks behind. Internet seems to be holding up ok so far this morning so fingers crossed. Will try the bridge site again and see how it goes. We just pay for points.

Lav...I keep forgetting about the General thread, must pop over and read it. I just basically stick to this one. Any news on your son? Hope the end of his quarantine finds him virus free.

Pauly...thinking of you. Are you still working? Our government is now working on getting money to the homeless and self employed. I hope your government is working on aide for you.

Was going to tackle some cleaning chores but it looks like we're in for a warm sunny day so will be out lurking around the complex. LOL Have a great day all...:smile:PPQP

[Determinator]

Re: 22 March

Aloha Friday ABerooos. the days of the week are getting mixed up...eeeek! twilight zone for sure.

Tree, that's hard to hear that poor guy is suffering but it seems like the best scenario for recovery and I'm glad for that.

Sam, not a lot of cases here amazingly but enough to be of concern I suppose. I hear the nation has more cases than any other as of today...not
something we'd like to be known for but virus don't play fair that's for sure.

I've been having fun designing 'virus trend' t shirts. for lack of a better way to describe them. Just being creative in a challenging time. Darlene is such a good
graphic designer and we really have fun together.

Mick, hopefully you have room somewhere else to make models?

Lav, any culinary adventures? I made a ricotta/spinache quiche last night that turned out pretty fun happy to say.

tonight, some kind of crazy meatballs with corn and ...not sure yet

PPQ, that's rough for the self employed and homeless...things ae already hard enough. egad.

trying to keep up the humor here, mostly winning...

ok, off to the kitchen. Be well loves!

[Lavande]

Re: 22 March

Greetings Abbers!

The day improved weather-wise so we got our long walk done. Did not run into anyone, not even a horse, haha!
Turns out three of the concrete blocks that were poured yesterday dried with cracks so the guys are going to replace them on Monday. They said something was not right because it was drying too quickly. Oh well. We had to get the cats nails trimmed today so it was pretty cool that the vet techs run out to your car & take the cat inside & deliver them back to your car, haha. Kinda wished they always did that because it’s not fun sitting in the waiting room with a cat in a carrier & someone else is in there with a giant dog or 3, haha!! Dropped off a bag of cat food at my son’s house, he says he’s feeling fine. The kids are with their mother who drove her dad home to his house in NJ yesterday. Crazy times for sure.

Cyn, I feel sorry for your husband. Make sure he’s getting plenty of liquids & Tylenol as needed. Doesn’t really matter if he doesn’t want to eat right now, just get the liquids down in large quantities. Thinking of you both :hug:

Det, love the T shirt designs, hope they’re a big hit!
It’s a no cook day for me so we picked up dinner tonight, yay!

PQ, hope your weekend is a good one.
Son told me today that he can go back to work after April 5. He’s always been a busy kid, he’s not used to hanging around doing nothing so this will be a little challenge for him, Lol

Mick, sounds like you & Julie are going to have to fight over the dining room table for work space, haha! I’m glad she’s comfy there & getting work done as well.
We have cleaned up all the ripped out shrubs from yesterday so we can get that work done out front. It’’s all a mess now but it will look good when we’re done.

Sam, the trees have been giving me allergy fits but I can’t complain seeing what other people are going through right now. The grass cutting is another big instigator for me too haha!

Pauly, how are you today? What’s happening with you?

Wishing everyone a nice night!
Lav

[treegirl]

Re: 22 March

Mae all -

Very tired Treacle here, so will be quick. So good to hear how all are coping with this strange time. Mick good luck with carving out a place for yourself! Det, you are making lemons out of lemonade, good job. Pauly, shout out to you,hon how's doin? Lav, you have a lot of work going on around there ... hope to see pictures soon! PPQ, I made chicken soup a day or two ago and the last 2days I have "reincarnated" it - lemon chicken pasta and tonight chicken tortilla with avocado. Happy cooking! Sam, enjoy the spring.

Hubs had a pretty good morning, a bad afternoon, but an OK evening... up and down as these things go... I am worn out... I've always been a good bed maker, but I am really honing my talents in that department.

Cheers all for spring - hold that beautiful golden light...

[paulywogg]

Re: 22 March

Mae everybody, Cyn glad hubs had a good morning at least, any word on the test? Det the shirt designs are cool, good job wishing everyone a great BF whatever day it is

[Mick]

Re: 22 March

Good afternoon all how are we today then? I'm doing this on my phone so bear with me for the grammar punctuation plus it's good code deciphering for the future . weather has changed over here today, it is pretty bleak and raining got a bit of a cough but it's the remnants of a cold as opposed to anything else it was funny last night I took some cough medicine and then some more cough medicine and fell asleep hope everyone is ok and safe today
Hello treacle how are you today? And how's your hubby hope things are on the mend for you both stay positive but looking at your threads on on Facebook certainly don't think you've got that problem
Hiya pauly how are you today then? I've seen you around the boards on the other forums stay positive we will get through this what are you managing to do with your time now? A lot of small business over here that can't function anymore have changed what they are doing for instance a lot of the hospitality industry are no packing and delivering food I don't know if any of those sort of options exist over there they're quite a bit of crime floating about over here with this lot, the club in the village got broken into the other night and two big televisions were stolen someone else nicked all the food from the food bank there are some fantastic people coming to the front here, but there are also some realshit bags anyways you take care of you and yours thinking of you


Hiya ppqp how are you today then? Working from home now are you? Likewise I'm glad Julie's working from home now I saw the report yesterday on cases in prisons and there are quite a few including one death yes we still get the meals delivered and they have guaranteed that they will do anyway though how solid that guarantee is no one knows Glad internet site is holding up for you take good care of yourself how's your son doing in all this? Hope he is ok

Hiya det how are you today then my friend? So you are designing virus type t-shirts are you mate just make sure you don't get the bug haha yes I can make the models up in the loft I've got a kettle up there now take care my friend of you and yours

Hiya lav how are you today then? Hope all is well yes one thing is virus certainly done is improved people's innovative ideas I was messing about the garden yesterday again I've ended up with a pile of Stone that I chucked all through the garden as different features for rockeries etc going to rethink at all you not the word think at this stage like you Ive got an allergy to something don't know what I'll find out once it is all over plus this crappy congestion take care of you and yours
A big hello and take care to anyone and everyone else that there who is Reading these posts will put some jokes up later on

[Mick]

Re: 22 March

They said gloves and a mask would be sufficient to go to the supermarket.

They lied, everyone else had their clothes on..

Remember the clocks go forward tomorrow.
The last thing you want is to be late getting up....... to sit in your house all day.

My electric fan has contracted Coronavirus.

It’s currently self-oscillating.

Is there a test for being a d.ck? Because Michael Gove is showing symptoms.

Jacob Rees Mogg said "Now that the Prime Minister and a member of the royal family has been infected, I suppose its not beneath one to be similarly afflicted by a virus that has up to now mainly affected the lower classes."

He later added.

"But I wish to make it crystal clear one has never had a common cold."

My Scottish neighbour was in his garden this morning playing the bagpipes.

I said, 'Do you do requests?'

He replied, 'I sure do.'

'Great,' I said. 'Can you shut the fck up?'

Driving down a country lane today I came across an elderly lady struggling with some heavy shopping bags.

"Can I give you a lift?" I asked opening the passenger door.

Climbing in she started, "you have sanitized your hands? And my seat? And what about the dashboard?"

"Look love!" I said. "If you're going to be like that you'd better get out and fcking walk!"

"That's just what my husband said a few minutes ago."

My OCD has gotten that bad that I've put my cupboards away in cupboards.

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.

Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: "Breathe, stupid!"

So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle." At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads." "Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men. "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other.

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

If you’re American in the living room what are you in the bathroom?

European.

A wife sent her husband a romantic text message… She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”

What comes out of your nose at 150 mph?

Lambogreeny.

I farted at work the other day… and my coworker started trying to open the window. It must have been a really bad one — we work on a submarine

Two fish swim into a wall… One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”

[porqoui]

Re: 22 March

MAE ALL...

Det...your t shirts are looking good. My niece and her family would love them. Do they come in all sizes? Still trying to get comfortable with my cooking skills. I think it would help if I actually had the proper cookware!! I'm one of those who use their butter knife as every tool in a toolbox. LOL Keep winning at the humor.

Lav...interesting that just some of the blocks dried too quickly and impressed that they're coming back to fix it right away. Same thing here happening with the vets, curb service. Actually I'm grateful I don't have to deal with pets on top of everything else. Glad your son is feeling fine.

TG...I've been stocking up on various items and freezing them. Got a feeling I'll have lots of time to peruse cooking sites. There's one recipe on the link you gave us that I'm going to try tonight...ramon noodle chicken stir fry. Hope you both continue to feel better and try not to wear yourself out.

Pauly...the city closed all hair salons yesterday which made me think of you. Calgary apparently has the most cases of covid in the province so they're ramping up the isolation factor. They also closed all the outdoor playfields so there goes our Spring Soccer Program. Keep you and yours safe and well.

Mick...good job on the phone post, most of it came out correct. LOL Weather changed over here today as well. It was supposed to be bright and sunny with warm temps, it's trying to snow! See...the weather people only get it right when it's crappy weather. Wish cough syrup worked that way for me, no more insomnia. My son is actually doing better than I expected. Maybe this virus has got his thinking out of himself. All I know is all of this is easier without dealing with his depression/anxiety.

I have my son working on downloading all the "Matlock" shows so you know what I'll be doing this afternoon. Stay safe all....:smile:PPQP

[Mick]

Re: 22 March

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[Lavande]

Re: 22 March

Greetings friends!

Dark & damp & chilly here all day. Good day to stay in & make something good. Baked a loaf of spelt bread & at YB’s request beef stroganoff, dairy free of course.
I make up a double batch of cashew cream & spilt it into several containers & freeze it so it’s handy for day’s like this. It makes a perfect sub for dairy cream.
Cut out another dozen masks, need to sit & sew them together. I’m not real good at sitting anymore, believe it or not.

Mick, out playing with rocks again, haha!! Don’t hurt your back or anything!!
I see local people posting on Facebook about slobs leaving used gloves & masks laying around parking lots. People can be such pigs

Cyn, sounds like your hubs is starting to come around. Takes time I know. Please don’t exhaust yourself. I heard our governor announce today that they will pull our nursing licenses out of retirement for no fees so we can volunteer - uh, no thanks!

PQ, you need a set of pots & pans? Pretend you’re on a camping trip & cook in anything you can find, Lol

Pauly, hello & hope your day was good!

Hello to Det & Sam, hope you are both doing well.

OK, wishing everyone a nice night!
Lav

[treegirl]

Re: 22 March

Mae all -

Long day , so I will just say hello and sending all best wishes for a good Sunday - I'll catch up later. Long tough day for hubs. but fever finally broke and ended with 4hours of drenching sweats. The washing machine and I are pooped, to say nothing of my dear man. Onward!!

Hold the light!

[paulywogg]

Re: 22 March

Mae everybody, PQ, I used to love Matlock, reminds me of my father in law glad your son is coping ok, this is depressing for even people who don't normally get depression so awesome he's dealing, Cyn, your poor hubs glad the fever finally broke and I hope he's on the other side of it now, Mick, love the jokes waves to the gang and wishes for a great BF Sunday for us all