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  1. #591
    Forum Subscriber. JackieClaire's Avatar

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    Re: International Army April 2020

    Nothing but nothing will come between a Lab and his/her ball...................if it had been thrown over the Berlin Wall it would have come down in seconds.

    We used to have Bess insured bur be when got to eight years old the monthly payment of about a tenner a month shot up to nearly a 100. We just didn't have that kind of money at the time..................and to be honest it didn't cover much at all when you read the small rpint. We just put a tenner a month in a jam jar.............she's richer than us now.

    That's made me feel a bit sick about the hair washing...............my mum used to have one of those...........she used to think she was the bees knees.
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

  2. #592
    Registered User. satz123's Avatar

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    Re: International Army April 2020

    Imagine the smell. I'm not a wash -hair- every -day -person - but Jesus 30 days .........
    And she's a cleaner - the Housekeeping manager in fact - in the Nursing Home
    Last edited by satz123; April 30th, 2020 at 04:38 PM.
    Benji ....
    Doing it my way

    .... the joy of being sober never gets old !!

  3. #593
    Forum Subscriber. IamMary's Avatar

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    Re: International Army April 2020

    Evening,
    Im in the 'its no ones business' camp too. Yes, I'm a non drinker if it comes up (oddly, it doesn't often as more and more people tend not to drink). I don't hide from it, nor do I advertise it. My kids were too young when I hopped on the wagon, but we will get there when we need to. Mr M is aware obviously... but outside him, its just you lot.

    Quote Originally Posted by satz123 View Post
    Young Satz go run over by a ..... DOG .... I kid you not ...... yesterday evening while out for a run.....
    Some dope with a big Black LAb ( Jacks?) threw a ball and the dog ran & slammed into the side of his knee.
    Spent 3 hours getting X-Rays & a brace put on today.

    Black Labs are insured for collision aren't they ?
    No!! thats awful.. so how long will he need to wear a brace for? If hes out running, hes not drinking?? Mind you, I could get my runs in and down a couple of bottles at home that night, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

    4 weeks, what a minger!!

    Goodnight big, little and in between feet...
    AF - July 19th 2015

  4. #594
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    Re: International Army April 2020

    Not a great evening here to be honest. I kept myself busy all day with cleaning, shopping and cooking. Even then I started getting a really strong urge. I had to stop and think about it. It wasn't really an urge . I just started feeling incredibly sad. I felt lonely, disappointed in myself. Things started to feel hopeless - I thought to myself that any hope I'd built up was just me lieing to myself. I really don't know if I;m being honest with myself. It would be incredibly easy to just walk away from everything right now. I think sometimes, quite a lot recently actually, that my family are probably better off without me. That me wanting them back is just me suiting myself. Its not going to do them any good.

    The sadness grew and created a big empty hole inside me. This is the emptiness that I've tried to fill with drink down the years. That's what the urges are. My response to feeling bad and not being comfortable with that feeling.

    Next usually comes anger and cynicism. I hate everyone and everyone hates, so f--- em all. So I plan my escape from my own self inflicted emotional and mental hell.

    I don't want this. I don't want any of this. I don't want to be like this. I can accept that I have a problem with alcohol. I can accept that I have mental health issues. I just can't accept the behaviour that goes with that. I can't believe I turned into that person. That's not who I want to be. That goes against everything I thought I stood for. I can't undo whats been done, but I'm not sure if I can learn to live with it either.

  5. #595
    Forum Subscriber. JackieClaire's Avatar

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    Re: International Army April 2020

    Quote Originally Posted by outofchances View Post
    Not a great evening here to be honest. I kept myself busy all day with cleaning, shopping and cooking. Even then I started getting a really strong urge. I had to stop and think about it. It wasn't really an urge . I just started feeling incredibly sad. I felt lonely, disappointed in myself. Things started to feel hopeless - I thought to myself that any hope I'd built up was just me lieing to myself. I really don't know if I;m being honest with myself. It would be incredibly easy to just walk away from everything right now. I think sometimes, quite a lot recently actually, that my family are probably better off without me. That me wanting them back is just me suiting myself. Its not going to do them any good.

    The sadness grew and created a big empty hole inside me. This is the emptiness that I've tried to fill with drink down the years. That's what the urges are. My response to feeling bad and not being comfortable with that feeling.

    Next usually comes anger and cynicism. I hate everyone and everyone hates, so f--- em all. So I plan my escape from my own self inflicted emotional and mental hell.

    I don't want this. I don't want any of this. I don't want to be like this. I can accept that I have a problem with alcohol. I can accept that I have mental health issues. I just can't accept the behaviour that goes with that. I can't believe I turned into that person. That's not who I want to be. That goes against everything I thought I stood for. I can't undo whats been done, but I'm not sure if I can learn to live with it either.
    Bless your heart,

    I filled that emptiness with alcohol but the emptiness grew. Until no amount of alcohol would fill it.

    It may seem we are just on-line people............but we care for you. These feelings will pass............I'll be honest........it takes time.
    Some days you'll be hanging on by your finger nails but we will listen and keep listening.
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

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