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  1. #1
    Registered User.

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    5th August, 2007.
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    I'm guilty of a crime I didn't do

    I'm stella and volka drinker, I've been free of both for six months untill three days ago. Two events in the last 6 days has sent me back to my double life again.

    My mate is married to my work colleague a path Doc. down town melb, (pat) . Pat and I have been naughty, both of us drink at work, sometimes we share Russian volka in full view of our work mates pretending it is water. Sometimes after work pat and I would go down victoria Road for after work drink. It's really bad, when her husband would call she would shout loud, I'm busy while we are all behind laughtering sharing few drinks with her.

    Yes our job is very stressful, we pick up bodies from homes, roadside, river, lakes, in the bush etc , we pick up men, women, old and young people. It is my job to open them up to establish the cause of death, prepare report for the police and the court.

    I know that pat have been sleeping around for months if not years both I could not tell my mate, when I hinted my mate, pat's husband that all is not well with his wife he when on my throat, since then I left things they way they are.

    My mate hanged himself in his bedroom 6 days ago, I'm not sure I'm allow to post his suicide note, he said that Patrick Davies his his college mate in the medical school who he has not seen for 12 years met him a week ago. As they were chatting , Patrick told him that he has been having it with path doc. whom his husband is a dead and that the dead man is a F***B***. After a brief discussion my mate realised that it is his wife actually.

    My mate complained that pat drinking has ruined their family, their two sons are heavy drinkers and both could not make their grades in the college. Since the last 6 months I've been sober I realised how unreliable, excusing giving, blame culture, selfish, dirty, aggressive, a cheat, wasteful and fit for no purpose an alcoholic can be. I'm ever sorry to my partner,I do not want to put my own wife through all these again as a result of my drinking . I do not know how to make it up to her.

    All the aggressive postures, shouting loud, inability to do a thing at home, my wife have been a great lady. i am always blaming her for my drinking problems, I use to tell her if she could be more caring and passionate I would not be drinking so heavily, i know it is all lies. i never tell her the mistake I do at work with pat because we are half of the times drunk on duty. Thank God these mistakes are found out, because they could put innocent people to jail. I use to feel that everybody in our department drinks to get through the day, I now know it is not true.

    My ex wife 16 yrs ago, use to blame me for not having a baby problem, we married for 10 years with no baby. she will go on and on at me, untill one day I found out her double life, I came home and saw a fellow on top of her. She blamed me for her action she said if I could give her a baby she would not have slept out. We seperated for two years and get back together, after which we went to do a check up, my counts were ok, but her inside could not hold a baby,she decided to leave, even though it has been my fault according to to her for 12 yrs. After she left I started drinking to help me get through the day. Now I heard she got two children through IVF. I 'm ruined with drinking problems and making my wife who has been nice to me to hate me now.

    I met my present wife 16 years ago, it has not been easy living with drinking problems, i could not tell her the truth about my ex and what she did to me. I have as a result made her life a hell, even though she is truely a nice lady. I even blamed her for my drinking behaviour, our two boys are not happy of the situation of things, my wife have given me untill december to change or she will leave, I have stopped and started again, i do not know what to do, I will surely take my life if she leaves.

    can any one help me pls!!!!


  2. #2
    Registered User. Gargykath's Avatar

    Join Date;
    8th May, 2007.
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    I'm guilty of a crime I didn't do


    You have been through a lot.

    What prompted you to stop drinking for so long ? You did amazing to stop for 6 months given the stresses you have been under.

    As you work in the field doing something so incredibly hard and difficult dont they offer some form of therapy ? Surely you can take a leave of abscence maybe to sort through everything so you are not tempted to drink at work anymore.

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