Hi Aquamarine,

I have only read your post so far. I just scrolled down to respond to you so I could get the words out before I lose them!

I found this site in Sept. - only 2 months ago. It is a wonderful place with many different people in many different phases of recovery and even non-recovery. There is lots of hope and advice here.
I ended up in an outpatient treatment program which included 2 AA meetings each week. I must say I had tried AA before but this time I had a much better experience. Coupled with the outpatient groups and lectures and a doctor's supervision, I have been sober now for 45 days. I have also used some of the MWO program - supplements and the CD's to help me along.

Now, I really enjoy the AA meetings and don't mind saying I am an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic and I hate having this disease. But I have met many wonderful, helpful people that truly care about me and what is going on with me. Admitting you have a problem and/or are an alcoholic should not fill you with shame, but open the doors to a whole new world, new friends and a life that you enjoy and are proud of.

I am very happy I have finally accepted the fact I am an alcoholic. I can finally put my shameful, secret, horrid life behind me and start a new one. It's about time!

Read through as much of the posts as you can, read the MWO book, check out an AA meeting and figure out a plan that works for you. The nice thing about being here is that no one will put you down for what you choose to do. You will only get encouragement and praise for doing well. And encouragement when you fall.

Good luck and let us know how you are doing.