30 years

[Renorach]

I have been an alcoholic for 30 years. I think I always suspected it, but always found a way to say I wasn't an alcoholic because I did not drink everyday. However, 2 years ago I had a run in with the police and decided to start AA. I remained sober for about 90 days, then slowly crept back into my way of like. I am a binge drinker and it is only getting worse.

My wife also drinks nearly daily, but never more than 1 or 2 drinks. I simply cannot have just a few. I literally have to drink non stop until I pass out.

AA has been helpful, but I relapsed this weekend. I feel awful and remain very depressed bout who I have become. I started back with AA today and know I must really work the program in order to stay sober every day. I got a sponsor two years ago, but I did not follow through like I should. My sponsor is no longer alive, so I need to find someone new.

I have to stop drinking period and I want to help others live an alcohol free life. I have to fix myself first.

I am lonely and I am really scared. Sorry for rambling, just needed to get this out.

[Samstone]

Reno
first and foremost, welcome!! glad you are here. Knowledge is power, and you sound as if you have the knowledge of your limitations. I hope you are able to find the AA support you seek.

[jane27]

Welcome Reno Please check out the thread called Newbie's Nest (under the Just Starting Out section). You will find lots of support! You can turn this around! xo

[Renorach]

Thanks so much for the encouragement.

[Pie]

Welcome, Reno! Many of us have decades of alcohol experience, that left us isolated and frightened. If you're ready to get that monkey off your back, you've come to the right place for support. So glad you're here.

There are lots of threads here that may appeal to you. The Newbies Nest is one with lots of activity, and an easy place to jump right in to.

[j-vo]

Hi Reno,
This is a great place for support. Please go to the Newbie's Nest and you'll find great encouragement there. We have a lot of long-term sober people on this site and they love to share their pearls of wisdom. They know what they're talkin' bout.

Also, check out the tool box. It has anything and everything you're looking for to help in your quest for sobriety. Welcome!

[Eloise]

Welcome Reno.
Step 1 is finding support, as much of it as you can.
We are all here for the same reason so ramble away!
Tell us your story if you would like? That can be a positive way to start....

[Renorach]

Got past Thanksgiving although with much loneliness. However, was really thankful for being sober and enjoying the day as much as possible. Also, was able to take a long bike ride on a beautiful sunny day.

It is day 5 and I feel good. I have accessed tools on this forum and I am very grateful for the encouragement. Hope everyone else has a great day. I have added to one of my favorite bible verses as a part of my daily meditation.

"This is the day the Lord made. Be thankful and rejoice in it - sober."

[paulywogg]

Great job Reno

[idefineme]

Welcome, Renorach! Congratulations on getting through Thanksgiving in spite of being lonesome. Lots of great advice above that I can't really add much to, being a newbie myself still. I'm glad you're here!