Trying to admit the extent of my problems

[empyr3al]

@Sally50, science has shown that binge drinking can be similarly as harmful as maintenance daily drinking and even often more so in some cases. A maintenance drink experiences withdrawal, a heavy 10 unit+ daily drinker everything falls apart but binge drinking leads to life threatening behaviors in a whole different scope (so its just as life threatening). Couple of UK documentaries I watched on Netflix or Youtube of the NHS and its polling and liver analysis. One gentleman actually tracked his usage with a monitor and it showed the effects. In the same documentary there were people with leaky gut and had to be drained (litres of fluid at a time!). I think its beer that mostly causes that and obviously renal failure. So yes 6-8 units is a shock to your system and qualifies you to have concern.

Rambling. Too better health! / Cheers with his chai tea /

[Brigitte.E]

I'm not a daytime drinker but I binge drink in the evenings given half the chance. Typical this week - abstained Monday and Tuesday, decided to 'reward' myself Weds and ended up over-doing it. Probably 6-8 units which is probably peanuts to some on here but still not normal or healthy.

Hi Sally,

Well, your story sounds all too familiar. So much of what you have written resonated with me. Unfortunately, my drinking was similar in nature to your nocturnal habits. My bottle a night habit was easy to laugh off with the other nurses I worked with...many of us found it easy to polish off a bottle in one sitting after a busy shift and still get up the next day and do it all again. I was a very "functional" alcoholic for a while. Sporadic health kicks would see me hold off for a few days and then, I would decide that I needed to be "rewarded" for my efforts with copious amounts of liquor and start the vicious cycle again.

But then something changed within me. I stopped buying wine, and starting buying vodka. I stopped buying mixers and just drank it straight. I stopped buying food and told myself that there were calories in the alcohol, therefore I didn't deserve anything more. I stopped caring that my partner would come home from work and find me passed out on the floor. I didn't care that I hadn't showered that day, or brushed my hair. I stopped answering calls from my concerned relatives and my only goal for any day was to buy another bottle and escape.

I now speak openly about this downfall with my family. I tell them that it's like being Alice and falling down the rabbit hole. Once the switch has been flicked, my conscious thought processes and rational thinking completely evaporate. I was no longer in charge of my compulsive and detrimental actions.

The guilt was the worst part...those empty bottles....those white lies.

I have been seeing a psychologist, counsellor and GP for the last 8 months. I've had 3 relapses. I take 2 medications to keep me on track....and I will beat this curse and you can do the same.

Don't minimise your experience, if you feel that it needs to be addressed then you're doing a wonderful job by recognising it and making some positive changes in the right direction.

My last piece of advice....you can't do this alone. If your partner is supportive, tell them how you feel. It will give you some accountability and unconditional support

Sending you strength, love and light <3

-B