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  1. #21
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    Starfish, I am struggling too. But, each time I fight the urge these last few days I offer up the struggle for someone who specifically needs my help. This struggle we have can be put to good use. At Mass on Sunday, the priest talked about Peter and how weak he was and yet he was chosen to be the leader of the apostles. He can use us too - as weak and pathetic as we are. That gave me much encouragement.

  2. #22
    Registered User. RingingCedars's Avatar

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    Yogamom you are not weak and pathetic. You are human. I truly believe God would not disagree with the following:
    agreement 1

    Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
    agreement 2

    Don?t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won?t be the victim of needless suffering.
    agreement 3

    Don?t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
    agreement 4

    Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

  3. #23
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    Thank you ringingcedars for your kind words. It is a daily battle.

  4. #24
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    Nobody has posted on this thread for ages. Just a query, someone who professes to know all there is to know about religion, says to marry a RC, you have to convert to catholicism. I married over 30 years ago and my ( in RC church) husband was not required to convert. We attend mass every week and have never heard of this in recent years. My husband did convert 20 years ago, it was his wish.

  5. #25
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    CHURCH TEACHINGS
    Interfaith Marriages
    By Emilie LemmonsMixed religion marriages...are holy covenants and must be treated as such.Until recent decades, the idea of a Catholic marrying outside the faith was practically unheard of, if not taboo. Such weddings took place in private ceremonies in the parish rectory, not in a church sanctuary in front of hundreds of friends and family.These days, many people marry across religious lines. The rate of interfaith marriages varies by region. In areas of the U.S. with proportionately fewer Catholics, as many as 40% of married Catholics may be in interfaith marriages.Because of the challenges that arise when a Catholic marries someone of a different religion, the church doesn?t encourage the practice, but it does try to support interfaith couples and help them prepare to meet those challenges with a spirit of holiness. Theologican Robert Hater, author of the 2006 book, ?When a Catholic Marries a Non-Catholic,? writes: ?To regard mixed religion marriages negatively does them a disservice. They are holy covenants and must be treated as such.?A marriage can be regarded at two levels ? whether it is valid in the eyes of the church and whether it is a sacrament. Both depend in part on whether the non-Catholic spouse is a baptized Christian or a non-baptized person, such as a Jew, Muslim or atheist.If the non-Catholic is a baptized Christian (not necessarily Catholic), the marriage is valid as long as the Catholic party obtains official permission from the diocese to enter into the marriage and follows all the stipulations for a Catholic wedding.A marriage between a Catholic and another Christian is also considered a sacrament. In fact, the church regards all marriages between baptized Christians as sacramental, as long as there are no impediments.?Their marriage is rooted in the Christian faith through their baptism,? Hater explains.In cases where a Catholic is marrying someone who is not a baptized Christian ? known as a marriage with disparity of cult ? ?the church exercises more caution,? Hater says. A ?dispensation from disparity of cult,? which is a more rigorous form of permission given by the local bishop, is required for the marriage to be valid.The union between a Catholic and a non-baptized spouse is not considered sacramental. However, Hater adds, ?Though they do not participate in the grace of the sacrament of marriage, both partners benefit from God?s love and help [grace] through their good lives and beliefs.?Marriage PreparationGood-quality marriage preparation is essential in helping couples work through the questions and challenges that will arise after they tie the knot.?It is recommended that the parish minister preparing the engaged couple spend time exploring the influence and impact of the differing faith traditions on their future life together,? advises the Archdiocese of Cincinnati.On its Web site, the archdiocese recommends a number of areas to cover:
    In which faith community will the couple be involved ? both, one, or none?
    How will the couple include the other faith tradition in their children?s lives, given that they will promise to raise the children Catholic?
    How will the couple respond to extended family members who may not be accepting of the spouse of a different faith tradition?
    In what ways can the couple foster a spirit of unity in the face of their religious differences, so that it becomes a positive, not negative, force in the marriage?
    Of all the challenges an interfaith couple will face, the most pressing one likely will be the question of how they raise their children.?The church makes clear ? that their marriages will be more challenging from the perspective of faith,? Hater writes. ?? Special challenges exist as well when it comes to raising children in the Catholic faith.?Because of these challenges, the church requires the Catholic party to be faithful to his or her faith and to ?promise to do all in his or her power? to have their children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith. This provision of the 1983 Code of Canon Law ? with its wording to try one?s best ? is a change from the 1917 version, which required an absolute promise to have the children raised Catholic.Likewise, the non-Catholic spouse is no longer required to promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith, but ?to be informed at an appropriate time of these promises which the Catholic party has to make, so that it is clear that the other party is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party,? the code states.But suppose the non-Catholic party insists that the children will not be raised Catholic? The diocese can still grant permission for the marriage, as long as the Catholic party promises to do all he or she can to fulfill that promise, Hater writes. The marriage may be legal, he notes, but is it a wise choice? Those are questions that may also need to be explored in marriage preparation.If children are raised in another faith, he notes, ?the Catholic parent must show children good example, affirm the core beliefs of both parents? religious traditions, make them aware of Catholic beliefs and practices and support the children in the faith they practice.?The Wedding CeremonyBecause Catholics regard marriage as a sacred event, the church prefers that interfaith couples marry in a Catholic church, preferably the Catholic party?s parish church. If they wish to marry elsewhere, they must get permission from the local bishop. He can permit them to marry in the non-Catholic spouse?s place of worship or another suitable place with a minister, rabbi or civil magistrate ? if they have a good reason, according to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. This permission is called a ?dispensation from canonical form.? Without it, a wedding not held in a Catholic church is not considered valid.It?s popular, and acceptable, for an interfaith couple to invite the non-Catholic spouse?s minister to be present at the wedding. But it?s important to note that, according to canon law, only the priest may officiate at a Catholic wedding. A minister may offer a few words, but he or she may not officiate or preside at a joint ceremony.According to Hater, church policies generally recommend that interfaith weddings not include Communion, therefore, most interfaith weddings take place outside of Mass.?The reception of Communion is a sign of unity with the ecclesial community,? he explains. ?On a wedding day, the fact that one-half of the congregation does not belong to the Catholic community [and, hence, does not receive Communion] cannot be a sign of welcome or unity on a couple?s wedding day.? It might be ?likened to inviting guests to a celebration and not allowing them to eat,? he adds.In some dioceses, if an interfaith couple wants to have a full wedding Mass with Communion, they must get permission from the bishop, Hater says. ?In addition, only with his permission can a person, other than a Catholic, receive Communion in church during such a wedding.?Catholic-Jewish WeddingsJews and Christians share a view of marriage as a holy union and symbol of God?s bond with his people.Stricter branches of Judaism, such as Orthodox and Conservative, forbid or strongly discourage Jews from marrying non-Jews and prohibit their rabbis from participating in interreligious marriage ceremonies.?Conservative Judaism sees only the marriage of two Jews as ? a sacred event,? reported the USCCB?s Committee for Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs, which discussed Catholic-Jewish marriages at a conference in November 2004. The Reform branch of Judaism strongly discourages mixed marriages, but there is no legal prohibition against it as there is in the stricter branches.Often, a Catholic-Jewish wedding is held at a neutral site ? with permission from the bishop ? so that neither family will feel uncomfortable. In such cases, a rabbi is likely to officiate. The couple needs to have a dispensation from canonical form for such a wedding to be valid in the Catholic Church.?Your pastor could be involved in the wedding by giving a blessing, but in Catholic-Jewish weddings, usually the rabbi will officiate,? writes Father Daniel Jordan, judicial vicar for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Burlington, Vt.As for the children of a Catholic-Jewish marriage, religious leaders agree that it is ?vastly preferable for the offspring of mixed marriages to be raised exclusively in one tradition or the other, while maintaining an attitude of respect for the religious traditions of the ?other? side of the family,? the conference report said.Traditionally, Jews consider any child of a Jewish woman to be Jewish. The question of what faith in which to raise children must be an ongoing topic of dialogue between the couple and during marriage preparation. ?Attempting to raise a child simultaneously as both Jewish and Catholic ? can only lead to violation of the integrity of both religious traditions,? the report said.Catholic-Muslim MarriagesCatholic-Muslim marriages have been in the headlines recently after the international aid agency Caritas reported that Catholic-Muslim marriages are on the rise in Italy. Catholic women elsewhere in Europe reportedly are marrying Muslim men in growing numbers. Marriages between Catholics and Muslims present their own particular challenges. In 2004, Pope John Paul II released a strongly worded document urging Catholics, particularly women, to be cautious about marrying Muslims.Referring to women as the ?least-protected member of the Muslim family,? the pope wrote that ?bitter experience? reveals the difficulties facing European women who marry Muslim men ? difficulties that are compounded if the couple lives in a Muslim country.Islamic men may marry outside of their faith only if their spouse is Christian or Jewish. In fact, the prophet Muhammed had a Christian wife and Jewish wife. A non-Muslim wife is not required to adopt any Muslim laws, and her husband cannot keep her from attending church or synagogue. However, Islamic women are forbidden from marrying non-Muslim men unless the spouse agrees to convert to Islam.For Catholics and Muslims, one of the most difficult aspects of a mixed marriage is the religion of the children. Both faiths insist that the children of such marriages to be part of their own religious faith.Such issues will continue to be challenges for Catholics marrying outside the faith in this increasingly diverse world, Hater writes. But with positive approaches to preparation and ministry, and a spirit of welcome to both parties, many mixed marriages can be intimate, holy reflections of God?s love.?Regarding mixed marriages with hope does not minimize the challenges that they present,? he says, ?but recognizes the blessings that they can afford to spouses, children and the faith community.?RESOURCES:
    ?When A Catholic Marries a Non-Catholic? by Robert J. Hater (St. Anthony Messenger Press)
    Association of Interchurch Families
    Ideas for marriage preparation discussion topics from the Archdiocese of Cincinnati Website.
    ?Interchurch Marriages: How to Help Them Succeed,? by Elizabeth Bookser Barkley.
    Frequently Asked Questions About Marriage
    ?Catechism of the Catholic Church,? section on ?Mixed marriages and disparity of cult,? nos. 1633 to 1637.
    When a Catholic Marries a Protestant (USCCB Secretariat of Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs)
    When a Catholic Marries an Orthodox Christian (USCCB Secretariat of Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs)


    Hope this helps Paula. My future DIL is columbian and it is a stretch to get dispensation from her bishop. Easier for my son to convert, if only on paper. Probably easier to join the Protestants though. Her parents will come from Columbia and this is important to them rather than my future DIL.

  6. #26
    Registered User. Starfish1's Avatar

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    Hi Paula. I don't believe your "source" knows as much as he/she thinks she does about Roman Catholicism. You do not have to convert to Catholicism to marry a Catholic. Hope this helps.

  7. #27
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    With Christmas just around the corner I thought it would be a good idea to get back to this thread. The Birth of Our Lord brings hope to all mankind and through The Holy Catholic Church we have even more hope - The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the Sacraments, the Communion of Saints, Our Lady and the Rosary...and each other.

    I'm not sober yet but working on it. Let's pray for each other. Mary, Refuge of Sinners, pray for us.

  8. #28
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    Merry Christmas Everyone

    I think this will work! Merry Christmas to all! And may God bless us all as we journey to sobriety, each in his own way.


    http://www.mywayout.org/community/at...1&d=1388081037

    [edit: I don't know how to get the picture to show up in the post so please just click on the link to see a little picture of the creche we have on our mantel] Attached files [img]/converted_files/2242606=7691-attachment.jpg[/img]

  9. #29
    Registered User. lucky 2.0's Avatar

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    I sure do love this new pope! Do you know why the popes(s) always wear red shoes?

  10. #30
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    Hi and Merry Christmas lucky

    Traditionally the colour red was the colour of sacrifice and penance (blood of Christ) so when you see red garments on a priest, bishop or cardinal or the Holy Father it's a symbol that they are to give their lives (blood) for the flock they shepherd. They are to suffer as Jesus suffered.

    I would like to see all the traditional robes and crown and stuff come back actually. I know each Pope has his own personality of course; but in my opinion that personality should fade when he is 'doing official Church stuff' because he represents Christ - he is The Vicar of Christ on earth - he's NOT just the man he is, with his own personalty. He speaks to the world as HEAD OF THE CHURCH and not from his own personality.

    Of course when he is walking around town greeting people as he goes to work, or when he is in his office or whatever he's free to do what he likes, but again, in my opinion when he is out in the world, representing his OFFICE as Pope it's the OFFICE he should be dressing for.

    That's why we call the President of the US "Mr. President" and not just Bob, or Joe. It's the OFFICE that we honour, not the MAN. In fact we could hate the man, but we always honour the OFFICE.

    But again, this is my opinion, and I know it's not shared by many people!!!! :h

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