hiya folks ,how are we all ...bit of a rush this morning...going up town to get travel adaptor plugs and some bitz and batz then the dentist at 11.40...was supposed to have been there on monday,but he cancelled due to fam bereavment ..so Ill jist put a few jokes up ...flock turned up for brekkie ..ducks and geese ..they are going to be well happy next week when Im not here....hafta cancel the holiday....:egad:
brew n jokes ..have a good one folks
I went to see an escort last night. She advertised a real girlfriend experience. When I got there she opened the door and said, "You're late, I bet you've been down the pub." We didn't speak for the rest of the night and I ended up sleeping on the sofa.
I went into the library and asked if they had a book called, "How to spot a lady-boy." He said, "I'm sure we do, it's probably tucked away somewhere." I said, "That's the one."
I just found human hairs in my McDonald's burger. Fcking hell, when did they start using natural ingredients?
What’s a foot long and slippery
A slipper.
Two gold fish are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”
Two soldiers are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says, “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB.”
As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.
But hay, it’s in my jeans.
A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”
The horse says, “Me neither!”
A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”
The lawyer responds: “I charge £1,000 to answer three questions.”
“Bloody hell – That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?”
“Yes. What’s your third question?”
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
They’re both red except for the green one.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me.
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh.
Sadly, no pun in 10 did.
What’s red and moves up and down?
A tomato in an elevator
brew n jokes ..have a good one folks
I went to see an escort last night. She advertised a real girlfriend experience. When I got there she opened the door and said, "You're late, I bet you've been down the pub." We didn't speak for the rest of the night and I ended up sleeping on the sofa.
I went into the library and asked if they had a book called, "How to spot a lady-boy." He said, "I'm sure we do, it's probably tucked away somewhere." I said, "That's the one."
I just found human hairs in my McDonald's burger. Fcking hell, when did they start using natural ingredients?
What’s a foot long and slippery
A slipper.
Two gold fish are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”
Two soldiers are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says, “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB.”
As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.
But hay, it’s in my jeans.
A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”
The horse says, “Me neither!”
A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”
The lawyer responds: “I charge £1,000 to answer three questions.”
“Bloody hell – That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?”
“Yes. What’s your third question?”
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
They’re both red except for the green one.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me.
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh.
Sadly, no pun in 10 did.
What’s red and moves up and down?
A tomato in an elevator
glad there wasn't too much water damage,Pie,enjoy your day
Comment