100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Lavande]

Greetings friends,
I hope everyone is doing OK

Chero, I never imagined I would end up dealing with AL addiction problems.
I was a strong, in charge type of person all of my life but stupidly chose AL to numb myself in my mid-forties. I couldn't handle the emotional pain of dealing with my chronically depressed, cold, disinterested husband. He refused to lift a finger to help himself & I almost destroyed myself 'waiting' for him to see the light. Bad decision on my part.

We've inflicted a lot of pain & suffering on ourselves BUT we have turned the page now - right?
The best thing we can do is stay on our AF path & keep moving forward. We have to forgive ourselves for the past then leave it there. It's history, it can't be changed, it's over. There is a wonderful book called 'Radical Forgiveness' by Colin Tipping that really helped me move through the self-forgiveness process. Read it & do the worksheets as a gift to yourself
You deserve the very best

[Cherokeer]

Thanks Lava, I'll definitely get that book. Now that the "fog" has lifted so many realizations, memories, and epiphanies are crashing in. Some days certain memories nearly overwhelm me. I force myself to push them away. I am using mindful meditation to "reprogram" my responses to these guilt/shame flashes. Obviously I am learning and in no way have mastered that talent. I am all for getting some direction on learning how to forgive myself. I haven't learned that either, yet. But the good thing is I am not making new "bad" memories and I am willing to learn from the best on how to live life AF. Life is only getting better, guilt and all. Everyday I can think of several times of being grateful for some minute of my life that I am AF. Lava, I am so grateful for "my teachers" here and I want to learn everything you guys can teach me.

[Lavande]

You'll get there Chero - keep the faith
It would be fabulous if we could fix everything instantly but we just can't. Just remember that each & every day you move further & further away from the 'old you' & you can re-invent yourself any way you like

[Byrdlady]

May I chime in and say if you use Lav as a role model,you will NEVER go wrong!! Just leave room on her coat-tails for me!!! Xxxoo, B

[Cherokeer]

Birdie, your pretty awesome yourself!! :heartbeat:

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Cherokeer and NS - thanks for sharing that conversation here. It was wonderful to read. I am on that same self-shaming boat, and I still have trouble with getting so MAD at myself for "letting" this happen to me. I am working on forgiveness, and following all of these lovely people here, I am focusing on what I am gaining by quitting drinking, and learning about addiction to I can learn to forgive myself. Odd, I don't think that what any of you has done is shameful, but somehow I can't give myself the same leniency.

I wrote on your thread, MyLuck, but CONGRATULATIONS on one year sober! May you have all the hot yoga you want, and many more sober years.

I'm on the sugar replacement for alcohol plan right now. I plan to try to taper off it as I am sure it is no good for me. I use it as a reward for myself, and I am not sure that eating ice cream is a healthy reward. Sigh.

xo
Pav

Good night, all.

xo
Pav

[Cherokeer]

I grabbed both books by Collin tipping. Radical forgiveness and radical self-forgiveness. I am going to read both and I hope that I can gain some tools and understanding from them. It talks about being a victim right out of the gate. I'll have to read more because the whole victim label does not sit well with me. But perhaps his definition is different than mine. It also speaks to the negative feelings having a physical consequence. I believe that. My sister and mother are prime examples. Some people have role models to immolate I have always had role models on who not to be. So here's to learning, forgiving, and letting go.

[NoSugar]

I might look into those books, also, Cherokeer. Maybe we can start a book club :smile:.

Have you read The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian? In my seemingly never-ending reading of literature-related-to-alcohol, I picked this up a few months ago. It is aimed at adolescents but I thought it was a great book (and I really enjoyed the drawings). However, I'd be interested in your take on it as to whether it is a fair representation of the culture and the problems caused by alcohol.

Hope you're having a day full of self-love! xx, NS

[Cherokeer]

I haven't but I'll look into it. Book club, yippee!! I love to read. It's my chocolate. Never enough time to read. I grew up in a lot of ugliness and violence so my escape to beauty was reading. Anything and everything I read. My first love as a small child was archeology and anthropology. I segued to even more geekier things as I got older. :congratulatory:

[Pavati]

I LOVE that book - Sherman Alexie. I follow him on Twitter, I am such a fan. He writes for adults, too. The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven for one. He also wrote the screenplay for Smoke Signals. I read Absolutely True Story in one 24 hour period!

[Cherokeer]

Okay, now I have a new author to read. :thumbsup:

[NoSugar]

I LOVE that book - Sherman Alexie. I follow him on Twitter, I am such a fan. He writes for adults, too. The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven for one. He also wrote the screenplay for Smoke Signals. I read Absolutely True Story in one 24 hour period!

Ready for a WEIRD coincidence story?! After I posted to Cherokee about Absolutely True Story, it occurred to me I should read something else by him - maybe even one for adults! Anyway, I found a review of the Lone Ranger and Tonto that sounded good and put it on hold at the library where for some reason, there is a waiting list to check it out. Anyway, later in the afternoon I was walking my dog and went by one of those little free libraries in a neighbor's yard, looked in, and what was on top, free for the taking?: The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven!

[Cherokeer]

Wow, I guess we should definitely read it.

[NoSugar]

I LOVE that book - Sherman Alexie. I follow him on Twitter, I am such a fan. He writes for adults, too. The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven for one. He also wrote the screenplay for Smoke Signals. I read Absolutely True Story in one 24 hour period!

I'm loving Fistfight, Pav. In one way, I wish I'd been introduced to SA earlier but I also know that if I'd read this book while I was drinking, I wouldn't have been able to bear the hard truths he so beautifully and at the same time, brutally, tells. I think I'd have found an excuse not to read it. (But I think everyone who wants to stop drinking or to have their decision reinforced definitely should!). And, of course, there is much more to these stories than the ravages of alcohol - although those inform almost everything.

[NoSugar]

Hey, Cherokee,

Congratulations on reaching 150 days today! You've earned them and you know how valuable they are.

:hug: NS