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View Full Version : still together dont know how



buddy
July 19th, 2007, 03:57 AM
well i havent been on here for ages im with rich still hes the drinker we have been through so much since i last posted a message on here. hes had a few to many relaps and gone on the missing ended up in hospital again for a week he got hes act together then and was so good and we were looking forward to a house move thought a new start would be just what we both needed he was good for just over a month and then slowly started to do the sneaky drinking again i knew he was he always told me differant well they all do that dont they im here to help him not mock him or put him down if i didnt give a dam or love him why would i give him nearly 6 years of my life and cry so many tears and report him missing visit him everyday in hospital . well things hit rock bootom last week he went missing again and got arrested for trying to steal drink from the co op then they told him they been looking for him in regards to someones garage being entere by him and him drinking there 20 bottles of stella (that was when he went missing for a whole week) they found hes d&a on some chewing gum and fingew prints on the bottles he is known to the police from when he was younger but has been good for 11 years now so that put the sock in it for him and hopefully might give him the shock he needs i had to go there for hes interview as a adult cos the state he was in went court with him been adjurned more stuff needs to be seen im always here for him not matter what i just hope now he might of learned by hes own actions he deeply upset by what hes done and even got brought home last week by the homeless van he only was gone for 1 day that day so at least he came home and didnt stay away for longer hes got to sort himself out once and for all as i cannot do this for the rest of my life i love him to bits and hes a wounderfull bloke when not drinking like a fish and i know that dont just rich many of the others that drink are just the same drink damages so much in everyones life not just the ones that are the drinkers there family loved ones and worst of all them it turns them into people that dont care and drink controls there life while they let it and makes them weak i wish it was not cheap to buy ( cheap cider )and didnt have 24 hour offys cos it just gives them what they want i know theres plenty of others not just rich going through this illness cos thats what it is everyday and everyday its the same and they all deserve some sort of chance in life and help and support from there loved ones and family and one day see that drink is not the one in control of there own lifes its them and then live life to the full and how they were meant to ..drink does so much damage in many ways it takes there drinkers lives ,destroyes relastionships,breaks families apart,takes unborn lives to ,this thing that comes in a can or bottle smaller then us can do this much damage to are loved ones and to us to it makes me so upset .......:upset:

Determinatrix
July 19th, 2007, 12:10 PM
Buddy,

I can feel the pain in your words and am sorry that you are dealing with this. As you can see, he will do what he intends to do with or without your love. It is not about you. So don't blame yourself or take on too much responsibility for his actions. You sound down and you need to mend yourself and heal. Call upon your loved ones and get some support. Seek some counseling and check out AlAnon.

Take care of YOU,
Dx

Finkle
July 19th, 2007, 10:49 PM
Wow, you must be a very loving, strong and understanding individual, kudos to you... I am not experienced with such strong attraction to the demon drink as your partner and yourself are... 20 bottles of Stella, I would be comatose. Has your partner tried rehab, are you getting the supplements for him??? Does he realise that he has a problem?

buddy
July 20th, 2007, 04:25 AM
thanks for support

yes rich has tried rehab was there for 3 months this was alll before i knew him hes had a rough time of life i know that hes mum took her own life because hes dad left her rich feels guilty as he spent a week with her before she done it and he always says if only i stayed longer then she wouldnt of done it.( she wrote them all letters and got a book of how to gas herself in her car and drinking a bottle of vodka to help hes never grieved properly i know that to . i wasnt with him then either . he then found heroin to take the pain away then crack he locked himself away alone one christmas and done hes own detox of heroin and has been clean from that before i meet him so its got to be 8 years now and just replaced it with drink . he knows he has a problem and he knows how much he can hurt me to and then he beats himself up as he hates what hes done to me and himself ... yes i am down but someone has got to be strong and straight headed or it would all go down the drain ...hes cut back to 3 cans of stella a day at mo one day at a time once again... i dont mind him having a drink but in moderation and try to be normal but i know its hard for him i love him so much when hes sober and normal but when hes drank to much i hate him as i know what a struggle it is for him to keep hes head above water and scared he will go off the rails again and thats what i will live in fear of until he does sort himself out ..........if he ever does and ts only him that can want it and to do it

nancy
July 24th, 2007, 08:27 AM
Buddy:

Has he tried medication to reduce cravings? Given the severity of the situation, seems medication might help.

Check out the medication section onthis website.