very tired shaky

[wantrealmeaning]

hi everyone.
today is day 5 af for me. i've had cravings over the last few days but been able to fight them off and i haven't been too bad with the shakes. this morning however i feel very very tired and my hands are shaking quite bad, feel like my body is shaking too, i'm not sweating though. i have an appointment with a p-doc later on today (trying to find out if i have bi-polar) i don't know whether to tell them or not because in july i was very distressed and spoke to a mh nurse she told me they would not see me if i was drinking. i want to be honest about everything so i can get the proper help. don't know what to do or say. i know that i have been self medicating since i was 13yrs old. i feel very alone and isolated at the moment and its friday, i really don't want to have a drink today, 5 days af is very good for me i want to carry on being af.
i feel as though i'm rambling on now, head feels fuzzy
any support would be very much appreciated
sorry if i haven't made much sense
:thanks:
want
xx

[paula]

very tired shaky

Hi Want,
I work in MH, yes you must be honest, they will see you and listen to you, but you must
try to be sober when you see the Dr. You have done well for 5 days. Bi polar is not an
easy instant diagnosis to make, so you have to be perfectly honest. If you are diagnosed
you can be treated, and will be amazed how well you can become. Whatever diagnosis
you get, you can be sure you will feel better. Wishing you well.
Love Paula.xx

[Finding My Self]

very tired shaky

Hello Want - and you deserve to Receive... :welcome:

I feel sad that with your determination to succeed in stopping drinking you have been told someone wont see you if you still are...I am sad that the help often isn't there until after it is needed... I hope the doc is better than the nurse!

However (writ big!) you have done 5 days and that is amazing...remember that YOU have done that and you deserve to be proud. Fuzzy or not, hold your head up and remember that when you see the doc later today.

I don't know what to suggest about whether you tell them...drinking is terribly mis-unerstood in my 'umble opinion. I think you will have to go with your fuzzy-but-held-high-head.

Remember one thing please...and that is that if you've been self-medicating with booze since you were 13 I would hazard a guess that you went through some pretty horrible stuff when young... And long-term drinking really affects our emotions making us anxious, jittery, even paranoid... Both these things could lead to a suggestion that you're bi-polar.

But without drink and with decent counselling/therapy you may be able to feel heaps better without another 'label' stuck on you... try it, please. You CAN do it. You CAN go without medicationg on booze.

I never thought I could cope without my self-medication but I'm 111 days free of alcohol today and I feel sooooh much better and found I CAN cope and much better than that...half the things I felt I had to cope with just aren't there any more!

The folk here on these boards are just amazing - I have had soooh much help, love, support and belief here. I hope you can enjoy it too and let us know how it goes later?

We've been where you are, love - it CAN and does get better.

Hug :l
FMF xx

[paula]

very tired shaky

Just a thought, if I went to see my Dr. while drunk, he would not get much useful
information from me, it would be much more useful for him to see me sober. It
does'nt always mean that someone is a bad Dr./ nurse just because they tell us
the truth, and the truth is we don't always make much sense when drunk.
Paula.

[Flip]

very tired shaky

Hi want, great to see you hanging in there.... as you already know, I am type 2 bi-polar, and I wasn't able to stop drinking until I got onto the meds. It's not the end of the world, it's probably the beginning of a brand new one. I know that I would still be drinking otherwise.

You have done marvously well to get to 5 days, but you are probably going through some pretty serious withdrawals about now, so please let a medical person know where you are in your sobriety - you may need some help in the next day or so.....

Big hugs for you from Flip

[Kyna]

very tired shaky

Hi Want,

I also wanted to emphasise how crucial it is that you are upfront about your drinking. I can totally relate to where you are right now, as I was in a similiar position Feb this year, also with an impending BP2 diagnosis. It really doesn't benefit anybody if you don't give the health professionals your full profile - and I totally agree with Flip, that you may need some medical assistance to withdraw/detox in the next day or so. There's no shame, no judgement ... you need help, as simple as that. Alcohol complicates mental health issues, which is why it's so crucial that they know.

Hang in there, and build on your five days. I'm 19 days AF now, and like the others say, it really does get better ... Sending you lots of positive energy x Best of luck ...

Kyna

[Guest]

very tired shaky

Sorry to hear you`re feeling rough want. As the others have said, you have did really well to get to Day 5. It`s understandable that you feel a little out of sorts........your mind and body are going through change since you quit. Think it`s best that you get yourself checked out by the doc and going along sober really would be best to allow you to get the most out of your appointment.

You`re sober now, want........would be great if you could get a little help from your doc to ensure you keep off the drink.

Wishing you well,

Starlight Impress x

[Finding My Self]

very tired shaky

Hiya Want - you see! These guys talk so much sense. Do listen to them and really good luck with your doc later. Being 5 days is going to help so much.

Love FMF x

[maxman]

very tired shaky

Great stuff want 5 days is excellent! keep it up

[wantrealmeaning]

very tired shaky

thankyou all so much for your kind words and support, i am deeply touched.
i wish i could tell you that my appointment with the psychiatrist was positive but i have come away feeling quite disapointed.
the psychiatrist was a Bangladeshi lady who didn't speak or understand english very well. i was very nervous anyway and this didn't help in me explaining my mental health history. i was honest about my drinking history and also that i have used cannabis in the past. the doctor took notes and has prescribed me an antipsycotic (olanzepine 5mg), i'm not psycotic or manic at the moment, although i have had episodes of this in the past. i have been on prozac, 40mg, since june, when i crashed out of the most destructive high i have ever been on, and can only just feel my depession lifting. this antipsycotic drug acts like a sedative and causes massive weight gain. i'm only 4'11" and slightly over weight and i already have very little energy from the depression so i don't know if i should take it or not. so sorry for going on and sounding like a victim. i guess i was hopeing she would have a magic wand tucked under her desk.
i don't want to be a victim or wallow in self pity. i feel as though i have reached a major turning point in my life and as much as i would love to get absoleluty smashed, i have realised that, that is no longer an option for me. although that makes me sad, desperate and bloody angry :bang
however i am on day 5 aff:day5: and its been a long time since i've achieved that, so i'm not going to mess up my mental health anymore by giving into that f**king monster.
being here on this site with you guys and reading lots & lots of posts has truly helped me enormously so i'm going to keep on posting and reading.
thankyou all so much :l :h
want
x

[wantrealmeaning]

very tired shaky

flip

i love your sig
"to conquer a wound, you must heal it, and to heal it, you must feel it"


i can feel it all when i'm drunk but never given myself chance to heal it sober
want

[Finding My Self]

very tired shaky

Want - you sound soooooh lovely. Hang in there. Day by day and you WILL be able to heal things sober....give yourself the chance. You deserve it.

Whatever the docs prescribe YOU are the only one in charge of that decision every second about drink #1 - don't have it and that'll be another day towards feeling better.

Lots of love and you keep posting - we'll keep reading!!!! Promise!

FMF xxx

[paula]

very tired shaky

Hi Want,
sorry your appointment was disappointing, the language barrier can be difficult.
Do give the Olanzapine a try, it is used regularly in bi-polar, it takes a while to
kick in but it is good, weight gain is a rare side affect which is more likely on
higher doses. Once the meds start to make you feel better you will have lots
more energy, so do give it time. Keep on reading and posting.
Love Paula.x

[wantrealmeaning]

very tired shaky

:thanks: FMF & Paula, i'm feeling quite emotional and alone, so glad you both replied. i'm scared of the journey ahead of me, but, i know i have to be more positive and strong, plus i've never been very good at reaching out for help. i've always been the helper & rescuer. i just don't know who i am or how i should be. i am still determined to stay af though cause i don't think i'll ever find out who i truly am or could be if i carry on drinking. i pick up the olanzepine on monday so i'm going to give it a go and see how i feel. i'm sure tomorrow i'll feel better and more positive for not having a drink on a friday night & then i'll be into my 6 day af.
thanks again for all replys, support & encouragement :l i wouldn't have made it this far without them.
take care
love want

[Finding My Self]

very tired shaky

Want - I feel your alone-ness in how you write. It's night now here isn't it in the UK? Just know that those of us in the UK are with you even if asleep but there are folk all around the globe knowing how you're feeling just now. Someone will be here all night somewhere if you need someone. Even just drop into Chat to watch the goings on there!! Shows you're never alone! :groupluv:

I hope the morning brings fresh energy and light to you and the continued discovery of who you are. (Scary feelings sometimes but so well worth the perseverance - it really is. They're only feelings. Wonderful revelations sometimes too!)

Be very proud of 5/6 days. Very proud and stick to not having to do them again wont you?!

Love and hugs
FMF x :l :