NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

[dR.pEPPER]

I stumbled onto this sight by mistake (or was it) I have not had a drink since 10-19-06. AA got me sober-went to alot of meetings undestould and liked the program but , the longer your in the group the more it seems like a real hardcore church and having a sponsor I had to report to everyday-----forget that!---then the guilt trips forced me out . have any of you had experience with AA?

[Accountable for Me]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

I think AA has it's good and bad qualities.

Good: You are feeling committed to sobriety with another group of people who can relate.
You may find friends to do non-alcoholic stuff with. If you are committed to sobriety with every fibre of your being you have someone to call up in a time of need. Like if the trigger is there and you are having a problem coping with it.

Bad: You will never be able to let the past go and move forward. I found the stories being told over and over again were becoming depressing. Even telling my own over and over was keeping me from letting go and working toward the future. I was stuck in the past constantly. Also, if you missed a couple of meetings you are bombarded by phone calls. I know these people generally care about the well being of others but I felt it was an invasion of my own privacy.

[KateH1]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

Wow! AFM, you really put my AA experience into clear and concise words!

Anyone who has studied Human Psychology knows that pertual guilt is simply not healthy. Living in the past keeps us stuck.

I hove the MWO program.......This program is wholistic in every sense of the word and quite clearly it is about changing lives for the better and moving forward!

[Lostfocus]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

I haven't had a drink since that same day. It seems harder with this weekend coming up the last but we will see how it goes. My feeling about AA is that they force relgion and make it a crutch, almost as if as an individual I'm not strong enough to accomplish this. It is hard I will admit that but my thought is that God helps me be strong to do this not that HE is my strength to do this. Does that make sense?

[cowgal]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

just back from AA

Don't know what to say either, was trying AA for a while, and got 30, 60, almost 90 days at various times, can't get past the "you have to change EVERYTHING" thing........my hubby drinks ALOT, which also makes it hard, I like to drink, but always get carried away after a few weeks or so, the GUILT of lying to my sponsor and all the other AAers.........GRR!! I am glad to be back, don't know if I can quit, cuz I am thinking about getting a beer on my way from the gym after work already

I am just starting over again and ANY input and support would be greatly LOVED and appreciated!!:h :new:

PS, formerly Mary Anne, changed now to cowgirl (???)

Love to all, missed you all, Judie, Gabby Kathy, are you still here????

MA

[Accountable for Me]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

Mary Ann nice to see you back!

[Mags]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

Welcome Dr. pepper

I found this site by accident last winter while I was online looking for my next AA meeting - and dreading that next meeting like crazy. I went to AA for quite a while but never felt comfortable at the meetings and it never helped me to quit drinking. I quit in spite of it. I know it is a good organization that helps many people so I am not going to bad mouth it here. I am just going to say it is not for everyone and I found out I was one of those people.

I have truly found a home here at MWO and it has changed my life. I have made some wonderful friends, I am totally AF, I laugh and joke every night with others who share my problem, I learn to think seriously about my problem without guilt - just optimism. It is a totally different atmosphere. At AA people would slip all the time but would never admit it at meetings because everyone would make them feel so guilty. Or if you skipped a meeting, everyone would worry about you. You were forced to follow a plan written over 70 years ago in a totally different culture. There was no individuality. Ooops there I go - sorry.

Here at MWO you can share anything you want anytime you want. There is never guilt or shame - only understanding or support. At AA no one ever cared about the inner me - only about if I drank or not. Here everyone truly cares about me and my family, my life, my happiness, etc. And I truly love and care about others here. We support each other no matter what. It is not unusual for me to get a Personal Message late at night from someone who says I am struggling - meet me in chat. And I always do. And we end up joking and laughing And that person makes it through the night. We all do that kind of stuff for each other all the time.

RJ who runs the site has put together a wonderful plan with hypnosis, nutritional supplements that are all very effective (VERY effective) and gives information on several prescription drugs that some of us use very effectively - others don't. It is a plan that you individualize to your own needs. It is not a one size fits all plan - we are all very different with different needs and different goals.

Please download RJ's book My Way Out from this website and read it and see what you think. Spend a little time just looking around at all the various sections of this website and you'll get a feel for it. We get silly at times, and very serious at times.

You must be very proud of your one year AF - believe me I know how hard that is. Maybe we can help you keep it up. Look around for a while.

Nice to meet you.

[Suzanna]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

that was a nice welcome, Mags. You said it all and I have felt the welcoming from everybody here myself. I am mods right now and doing way better than when I first started, stringing together AF days all the time.

Dr. Pepper, my brother and sister got sober in AA (maybe there is something to that genetic stuff), but I could never imagine myself going to a meeting and telling my stories. Maybe because of stage fright, maybe because I cannot really believe in the anominity, or maybe I did not want to be accountable to other people, just accountable to me! I get it, ATM! I haven't really hurt anybody besides myself that I am aware of, never wore a lampshade, I am sure I have made a fool of myself though once or twice (hmmmmm maybe more), I understand the dependence and read alot to educate myself, the posts here and the feeling that I am not alone in this help tremendously, and like everybody here has said, we don't judge and we look forward. I think AA and Al Anon are great for many, especially Al Anon for family members so they can learn to stop enabling and putting their lives on hold because of someone elses behavior.

Welcome to MWO and stay around awhile. :h Suz

[Hammer_OTG]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

Tried AA several different times. I found myself beholden, answering to all sorts of new people in that community which is difficult because I am a fairly private person. The overall "higher power" philosophy didn't work for me either. Glad it helps some people but it's not for me.

[julie001]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

I have a sister who has been in and out of AA for more than 25 years. When she has a bout of sobriety, she always gets very religious. Not that it's wrong for her to find God, but the she only does it when she's several weeks into sobriety. Unfortunately, she's never mangaged to remain sober for very long, and unfortunately, she isn't what you would call a functional drinker. She struggles to maintain a job, and hasn't had her own place for years, until just recently. But she's had one sponsor from AA in particular who has never turned her back on her, and has even let her stay with her family when she needed a place to stay, but I don't think the program has ultimately helped her get a handle on her addiction or helped her to improve the quality of her life. She is just one person, though. I imagine there are a lot success stories out there.

I think that what works for some people may not work for others. I personally find the MWO format very helpful. There is privacy, but you can be honest about your problems and get feed back from people the same issues. I know that if I had not happened upon RJ's book one day while browsing at Barnes and Noble, I would not be this much closer to understanding my alcohol addiction. I log on here every day. I'm grateful for the support.

Julie

[nancy]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

Wow, I think people have written a lot of good posts here. and not AA-bashing, just open, respectful opinion about why it may not be for everyone.

The idea that someone would track my attendance at meetings and hit me with a lot of phone calls does not appeal to me either.

Why don't you have a look around at what this program has to offer and incorporate it with what you have been doing. maybe there were some things you liked about AA?

I think reading the posts and contributing to the community here (freely!) you learn a lot and behavior starts to change. I really believe that.

[cowgal]

NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY

Double WOW

I am glad to hear AA works for some, it had for me but at some certain point in my "sobriety" I WANT to drink, and that is TABU..............I drink, get away with it, don't tell anyone, the BRUTALLY honesty thing in the AA program is very difficult for me, not that I am that dishonest, but fessing up to EVERYTHING, it is just hard for me.

I will try this now, having a hard time, but I will keep coming back, (As they say in AA !?):durn:

This HAS to work, or I am in deep SH*T! I don't know what else to do:upset: :argh:

Enough of me for now, gotta go see a patient.

MA