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    #1

    OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

    but...

    Many of you know the (ahem) distain I have for the program of AA . I am REALLY sorry if this offends anyone, I know it will, but I have to be honest about my feelings. I know the program works for many people, and I am grateful it does, but it just wasn't for me. I just cannot give myself to a proram that askes me to label myself as hopeless, helpless and in a permanent state of recovery for the rest of my life. I believe we DO recover.

    Nonetheless, I was meeting with my therapist and telling her that this is the year I plan to begin my new life as a non-drinker. I finally can say this. I can finally see it. It took some time getting here, and definately a lot of work - OH AND YOU GUYS! Anyway, she also know that AA is not for me. She knows my beliefs and is behind me all the way. BUT, she also is an advocate of AA as it has helped a lot of people, so she had an idea for me. She asked me if I had met anyone in AA that I thought was a standout, someone that got the sobriety thing, but didn't push AA to a gut-wrenching, political, droning, cult-like... oh, sorry, lost myself..... institution. I said, yes, there is a gal, Jen. She is amazing. She was this gal, a crazy drug addict from the streets of Portland. Lived litteraly on the streets. She is one of my clients now. Amazing lady, very successful now. So, my therapist said.. why don't you contact her and use her as (GULP) a sponsor - she cringed when she said the word - but kind of laughed at the same time.

    Well, to make a long story short. I have given it a lot of thought and like the idea. I am going to call her. I will let her know I DO NOT intend to attend meetings, but would love her support and a person to be able to check in with. I think a live person will be helpful for me. She is very interesting and I love our conversations. I know for a fact that Jen will not push AA meetings on me. My hopes is that we will be able to meet once a week for a cup of coffee, conversation and support.

    Anyway, just thought I would share my newest and grooviest....

    Love your thoughts!!

    MM
    Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.
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    #2
    OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

    Er......MM......... I was live the last time I checked




    Seriously tho' - just do what needs to be done - Go for it!

    Love

    satori

    xxx
    "Though there are many paths at the foot of the mountain - all those who reach the top see the same moon - as any fule kno"

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      #3
      OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

      MM- I agree with Tkeene and Satori- Whatever works for you, go for it.

      AA is such a hot button for so many people, but like any other group it is made up of individuals and regardless of what you feel about the philosophy of the group as a whole, it doesnt mean that you cannot connect with an individual within the group.

      Have fun and keep us posted.

      Love and Peace
      Rob

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        #4
        OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

        MM - I say go for it! If you think it will help you, I'm sure it will. I can sure see you gathering strength lately, so good to see....keep on sista!!!
        The furture lies before you like newly fallen snow - be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

        Comment

          #5
          OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

          Hi MM,
          I have a disdain for AA, for all of the reasons that you listed. However, if you believe that this alternative, your client, is a positive move for you, then go for it!

          I do also agree with Satori......WE are also Living! Yes, I know, there is no face to face, or at least very little, but, for me that still works!

          As Always,Best Wishes to You, MM!
          KateH
          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

          AF 12/6/2007

          Comment

            #6
            OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

            Me too MM....she sounds a lovely lady...an if you feel safe with her and she with you...(presumably she is a client of your lovely 'centre' and not of yourself though? Boundaries and all that...just thought I'd clarify that...sorry!)

            Weird thing here is...I so rarely see people I know in town and Sunday last I saw 2, yesterday 2 and today 3 different members of the local AA I went to briefly....! Eeeek! There were only about 12 there! They looked well which is great but the looks I get when I see them....!!! Oooh-er! Don't think they can 'get' that I am ok but not attending...

            Anyway, that's just a sort of bit of gossip!

            You do whatever you need for you MM - you are sounding so grounded and alive....anything to help you anchor that girl! Behind you all the way!

            Love FMSxx
            :heart: c: :heart:
            "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

            Comment

              #7
              OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

              MM, if face to face is what you want you may try Smart Recovery or Moderation Management they have F2F meetings in some cities. If you tell an AAer you are not going to be going to meetings they are going to try to talk you into it eventually, I presume.

              Comment

                #8
                OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

                satori;252435 wrote: Er......MM......... I was live the last time I checked
                LOL... You know what I mean... I just love you, Satori...

                Thank you all for your input. As always, I so admire all the honesty I get here. I really do trust that this gal will not try to "convert" me, and so does my therapist. She is a pretty amazing person and doesn't preach AA outside to anyone. No one would know except the people that have seen her in the rooms. That is why I think she will be a good asset for me. She also knows my stand on AA as we have had many conversations about the topic. She knows I have a strong spiritual practice and a very different belief system than AA. Anyway, it would take a frontal labotomy to get me to agree to AA again. It took me years to get de-programmed as it were!! (Sorry again for any one I may have offended by that last statement...)

                I haven't made the call as of yet. Still mulling it over... I am feeling pretty good these days, but just want ot make sure I have all the guns I need..

                xoxoxxo

                MM
                Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

                Comment

                  #9
                  OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

                  MM,
                  AA will say "take what you need and leave the rest" regarding their meetings. I have attended a few and will admit I had to leave most of it. At meeting's end I would scurry into my car and try to rid myself of the "vibes" of the meeting.
                  However ,like you, I know AA has helped a lot of people. It will be interesting to see if your friend will take you on as a sponsee without having you attend meetings. Maybe better to meet as friends discussing sobriety. You are fortunate to have her and I would love it if you would share with us some of her insight. I would,in theory, love a sponsor without all the harsh dogma associated with AA. Believe me, I know in getting sober you need to have some harsh words said but in AA I felt like I was a horse running a race with blinders on.
                  Good luck and let us know how it goes.
                  Janet

                  Comment

                    #10
                    OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

                    MMama, no matter what...having a new sober friend can only be good. regardless of their philosophical background. congrads!
                    nosce te ipsum
                    (Know Thyself)

                    Comment

                      #11
                      OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

                      I'm glad I'm not the ony one who found that AA was not for them. My bloke keeps trying to get me to go back, I've tried to explain to him that the philosophy of it didn't sit right with me, and alot of the times I went I ended up repeating the same stuff I'd said the week before and leaving, as Vinophile put it,'ridding myself of the vibes of it'.
                      I wish bloke could understand this, I don't think he realises there are other ways to come off the booze.
                      'The only people who give you a hard time (for stopping drinking) are those who used to look to your drinking to excess to legitimise theirs, and they'll find someone else to do that in time. '
                      From an Amazon review of Allan Carr's ' Easy Way to Control Alcohol'

                      Comment

                        #12
                        OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

                        MM

                        I have chosen not to do AA because of the fundamental attitudes of many of the local members.
                        The actual program of AA is pretty wonderful. I believe that many of the people in AA have taken the program and made it something it was never intended to be. Just like some religions. The program is supposed to be based on the concept of "attraction rather than promotion". It was never intended to be crammed down your throat, nor was it intended to become a fundamentalist, my way or the highway type program. There is nothing attractive about that attitude. Some folks in the program just won't let you "take what you like and leave the rest" as Janet was saying.
                        I think it would be wonderful to have this person as an ally in the battle of the drink. I'm not sure I would ask her to be your "sponsor" per se because a sponsor is tied directly to the program of AA. Maybe you could just become friends with her. Or whatever works. You know, it is just whatever works and whatever the two of you are willing to do. Good luck and keep us posted.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

                          Yeah, Myra.. I agree with your perspective. I haven't called her yet. I am still sitting withit. I do plan to call her, I just am wrapping my head around how I would like ot define our relationship. I know that she will be agreat asset for me, and my therapist seems to think that this is one person that I could do this sort of thing with - I tend to agree. So, I am plan to call this week. I will let you know how it goes...
                          Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            OK... don't have a heart attack... AA alternative?

                            My thoughts.....to have someone who you can talk HONESTLY with, can only be good MM. I hope she is also willing to do this. Its a great idea and i hope you do get in contact. All the best with this. I think you are very brave and wise. Bella xx

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