Why did I bother?

[pinkpeppercorns]

I went to detox and within two days of being there I put in a four-day demand to leave. I came home with one day sober. The doc and social workers at detox told me I wasn't ready to leave. I knew that. But I also knew I wanted to drink. So I left. How embarrassing that I will be returning within two weeks of leaving. (That's if I'm brave enough to return.)

I don't understand the appeal of being drunk. When I'm not drunk, I think, oh, how nice it is to have a clear head. To be able to drive. To do so many things without having this fog in my brain. Yet I continue and continue again to reach for the fog.

[keeta]

Why did I bother?

pink

aww honey...why did you bother? Surely you remember just before you went. You sounded so afraid, and desperately out of control. I was afraid FOR you.

Please don't give up on yourself. This addiction is terrible. This addiction is strong. We have to find it within ourselves to be STRONGER.

I haven't beat this shitty AL yet, but I am going to keep trying. Please keep trying with me. I don't know about you, but I could sure use all the support and advice I can get.

Stay close, keep posting...and look into going back to detox. Drop the shame, and know you are not alone.

much love and hugs,
K

[meditation mama]

Why did I bother?

Hey, Pink.. You bother because you know you are worth it.. deep down you know it -we all know it! An I hear you, you truly want it. Being drunk is not something you are, it is something you do.. something that has caught hold of you -it is a terrible, awful, ugly disease that you have, but you have to continue to fight - just as if it was a cancer. But unlike many cancers - you can win this, PINK! You can, you just can't give up. Think of how many people with cancer would love to have your disease. They would love to have the chance to just keep going to detox as many times as it took until they got sober - until they just got sick of fighting this beast. Then they would be rid of their disease and be free. You can do this, you are lucky. So do this, PINK. DO NOT GIVE UP! You need to put any shame, or guilt or anything else you may have and stuff it away, this isn't the time for that.. you need to do this. You can not give up, ever, ever, ever... So make the call. Get back on this now, don't wait.

All my love and prayers are with you.

MM

[betty boop]

Why did I bother?

MM powerful words ......... so very very true ........

Pink, you have the support of lots of lovely people here and the people in detox ............ check back in love and get the help that you need, they will have seen it all before and probably worse ....... stay as long as you really need to this time ...........

[Cinders]

Why did I bother?

Pink,

Please read MM's words. She has so much wisdom to share.

You are just in the throes of an addiction. A Horrible addiction but MM states it well.

Find your way out!!!

Love,
Cindi

[paula]

Why did I bother?

Pink BB is right, detox people have seen everything, so don't die (literally) of embarrassment. Go back and do what needs to be done.
Good luck Paula.

[dexterhead]

Why did I bother?

Pink: thinking of you and pulling for you. You can do this. :h :h :h :h

[down2earth]

Why did I bother?

You are WORTH it! You can do it.