View Full Version : Down under aircraft humor

April 8th, 2006, 05:00 PM
These are clean :)

Pilots and Mechanics: Problems and Solutions
Quantas Airlines has a policy whereby after every flight, pilots fill out a form that tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems and document their repairs on the form, and pilots review the sheets before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance workers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P - Problem logged by the pilot)
(S - Solution and action taken by mechanics)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed

P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious

P: Target radar hums
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Another interesting quirk....if your aircraft has ever landed in Australia, it will have a kangaroo stamped somewhere in your wheel well. Aussie mechanics want the world to know you've been there.

April 10th, 2006, 01:18 PM
Down under aircraft humor

Hysterically funny Darlene - Thanks!

January 10th, 2016, 08:04 PM