I have been on this site now for over a month and the first week I went AF for 5 days but have done terribly since. I have been drinking basically every day except the odd time where i will go a couple of days... I hate myself. I do not want this lifestyle... I am an athelete who has always thrived on taking care of her body and yet here I am, drinking every day, finding excuses. I have always struggled with self hatred and people have always asked me why I hate myself and I can't come up with an answer... The only answer I have is that "I am not good enough". I don't know how I am going to fight this as I am such a proud person and do not like weakness and can't imagine anyone liking me once they find out how weak I am....
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Not doing well!!!
Oh my goodness. Being an athelete is tough. I am a trail runner, mountain biker and tele-mark skier. Athelete are hard on themselves already. And drinking does not help matters.
You have to find the accomplishements no matter how small and celebrate them. You went AF for 5 days. That is a major accomplishment. If you did it once you can do it again. Maybe you can only go 2 days this time. That works too. Right now I can only go 2. I am celebrating that. I am getting healthier. You can too.
Please stay with us. The supplements work great. The Kudzu is awesome. Get some! -
Not doing well!!!
Onthegrand,
Hi .... quick question. Are you working any of the program? I found the supps enormously helpful when I first started.
God, doesn't that self-esteem thing suck? I'm hearing you but you can turn it around. You are NOT weak.
I really just wanted to acknowledge your post and hope to see more of you.Comment
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Not doing well!!!
Hello and welcome
Hi ya onthe, can relate to you well. Athletes are famous for being hard on themselves. This site is great but no magic cure. Many slip and get back in the saddle. Beating yourself up can be a recipe for another slip. So please be kind to you and stick around, many people here have long-term success and I love reading those posts. That will be us one day. Am visualising what to say in my 1 year AF post and yet I had a drink today. So yep tis hard but can be done.
Best wishes
Victory
:hComment
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hi there.. onthegrand..dont feel ashame .asking for help .we are here for you .if you want it there are alot of good poeple here on this site .so just relax and enjoy the ride.it only get better.remember one day at a time thats all it takes. and read and post your questions.have a great day. good luck:beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..Comment
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HI OTG! Do you remember this?
On the Grand, no one will hate you! You don't have TONS OF FRIENDS because you are worthless. :hug: If you would 'fess up to your friends that you've been fighting this addiction...alone... Isn't that a sign of an individual who IS strong? Don't you think your friends would (first) HUG you, and (second) say, "How can I help you?"Like you, I put on a great front, loving wife of 18 years, mother of 2 and a successful career. I have tons of friends and a very fullfilling life but can't seem to live it without wine!!!If you are suffering from an imbalance in your brain chemistry.... wouldn't it make sense that wine has control right now? It's not a matter of your character, it's a matter of chemistry. It's not a matter of being STRONG or WEAK. It's a matter of fighting a physical addiction that is controlling your life. I am such a proud person and do not like weakness and can't imagine anyone liking me once they find out how weak I am....
Can you give your friends and family the benefit of your doubt????
Love and support ~
Patty
Tampa, FLComment
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Not doing well!!!
hallo onthegrand, remember that not even any human being can accept defeat totaly and you just said you are aproud person who does not like weakness, now that might be one of the reasons you are drinking you get frustrated when you decide you are not going to drink and then you find yourself drinking again, this frustration leads you to drink further, try to admit that yes you are not a weak person but let your pride lay low since you do not complicate you progress and forcing things to happen to prove your pride, you can do it, remember we need progress nor perfectionComment
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Beautifully said, M.maasai;267331 wrote: ......remember we need progress not perfection ....Comment
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I can very much relate to your post. I once was very fit. I rowed on the crew team for college (as an "older" adult), I visited the gym every day. Now I am a lush and do little other than wander around my apartment every day. It's humiliating. I am determined, though, to get my act back together, no matter how long it takes me. I want to bicycle across North America, after all (a long-, long-time goal of mine). Don't give up. I haven't, and it's been about seven years that I've been knocked down by this, that or the other or booze.Comment
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Thank you all for your kind and intelligent words. They give me strength and hope! Today I WILL go AF!!!Comment
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OTG,
I think the most important part of the entire fight is being persistant and not giving up. For me, reading the posts everyday have helped me on the lonely journey.
I am a slow work in progress. I have come for drinking a bottle of wine nightly for YEARS to actually looking forward to AF stints.
My best to you.
tcComment
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Onthegrand,
If you were as weak as you think, you wouldn't have the courage to come here looking for help. You know you have a problem and want help...that shows strength and intellegence. NOT weakness.
Never give up...you CAN do this...every bit of progress helps...every day AF is a success..every single one of them....I am wishing you all the best,
much love and hugs,
KeeStriving to live life without ALCOHOLComment
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Not doing well!!!
Onthegrand, each and every day you manage to be AF is a huge achievement. Quitting is tough - so don't be so hard on yourself. It isn't like going on the 'diet de jour'. Alcohol takes over your mind, body and soul.
Keep on trying. That is all one can do. Persistence is power. Sending you strength and love for a better day.Comment
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Not doing well!!!
Onthegrand: I remember your first posts. I, like you, am struggling a lot. But I come here every day and read and it helps me increase my resolve that I am going to beat this thing . Coming here helps diminish the shame at my "weakness," because we all have the same damned problem. we can work on it together:h :h:boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!Comment
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I too look at my behaviours and wonder why I eat fruit salads am and salad lunch time in effort to be healthy THEN comes the top it up with poison in the form of wine most evenings!!
Not a nice look to have dehydrated skin, dry lips etc
So back to doing walking three times a week at least rather than sitting in a heap with wine which leads to snacks which leads to wine then snacks...get the picture!!
Good luck
CassyComment
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