Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Yesterday, the alcoholic voice didn't bother me. I know, however, that it could speak up at any time; therefore, I'm not complacent. One of my strategies is to have no alcohol in the house. A well-stocked liquor cabinet would be an open invitation for me to drink. The last time people came here w/beer, I asked them to bring home anything they didn't drink. I'll do the same w/wine (the bigger temptation for me) if the occasion arises. I'm OK when people are around me. It's when I'm alone that the urges hit. That's when I do my worst drinking. Is there anyone out there (who has a good amount of AF days, weeks, months, years accumulated) able to have liquor in the house? I'd be interested in knowing how you can cope w/that.

Young at Heart Kathy, a big congratulations on 8 months today! You should be very proud of yourself. It's people like you who give us newer folks courage & motivation. BTW, I hope Maddy is OK today. She's had a disappointment, but I'm sure she'll bounce back.

Cindi: I don't know if you're logging on in the middle of this crisis w/Adrienne...I hope so. If you do, please let us know you're OK.

tk: Keep on going. Just remember, you can only control your own drinking.

Love, Mary

[kaddy]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

morning mary,,,am like you l can not have ac in the houes,,, when l go to family and freinds and they drink in does not bother me,,,but when am on my own it does,,,but if l go nere my drinking buddys l find it so hard (so l stay away) am on 22 days,,,last time l done 6 mouth but gould not have ac in the houes,,,
good luck and well done

[cassy]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Hi Mary

i have a house stocked with spirits and wine//lefy over from Christmas gifts etc.
I can see that having it in the house is a temptation HOWEVER it tend to be if there are opened bottles of wine in the Fridge that the temptation gets stronger.
I dont drink spirits so that can sit in cupboards forever.

to cope with going out when I,m on AF days I buy a new top , put my lippy on and feel good that i wont "show myself up...start to withdraw from the conversation as i get tired after a few wines, or forget any of the content of the evening".

I guess if we have tempatations inthe house its best remove them...I,m the same with chocs!


Good Luck and Have a lovely day.

I,m on my Lenten journey..Day 7 and then hope to moderate again (not drinking everything in the house!!!)

Cassy

[satori]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Mary,

I have always had alcohol in the house during my journey to where I am now.

My fridge has a six pack of beer and several bottles of champagne in there from entertaining before / after Christmas we have a cupboard full of expensive single Malt whiskies I had collected over the years and a wine rack in our kitchen with red wine in it.

The only time I am vaguely tempted nowadays is if my wife has a bottle of red wine open - but wine was never my drink of choice - weird.
Most of the time (99% of the time) - alcohol just doesn't enter my thoughts any more.
So - for me - it IS entirely possible to be happily AF while surrounded by drink.

I guess I figured I had to do this with all the usual alcohol around - because I would not be able to avoid it forever.

Getting rid of it all would have been like admitting that it had me beaten - that I had no power over it - and I am a stubborn SOB when it comes to THAT kind of a showdown:H .

But hey - that is just MY way out - we all just gotta do what it takes.


Love

satori

xxx

[Accountable for Me]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Mary, I thought I would be OK with having the alcohol in the house. For a very long time it did not bother me.... until Sunday. I caved - drank too much and am still paying the price for it.

My alcoholic 'voice' got the best of me that day.

My hubby and I agreed that there will be no more alcohol in our home and he has made it clear to all of his alcoholic friends that he is 'shutting it down' now for his health.

Back to square one for me really. I have to remain vigilant more than ever now.

[charlee]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

We did have wine in the house for the holiday dinner...the little that remained was given to hubby the next night at dinner. Although wine is not my choice of drink, I wanted it gone asap.
I remember years ago..and I mean years!, I would drink the cordials my hubby had gotten as gifts (this is before I turned to the hard stuff), put the empty bottles back in the box until I had a chance to replace. I eventually got caught at that to!!...I just found it easier to have my own stash, hide it and drink alone...Hubby still gets those holiday cordials as gifts, but they are safely tucked away and unopened and out of sight.
I am very fortunate that we do not have a well stocked bar in our home....I know that one pissy mood or bad day would be a temptation....For me, not having my drink of choice on hand puts the decision to drink right back in my lap. I would be choosing to drink, choosing to drive to the store (gee, wonder if they miss me!), choosing to purchase. The hiding, the deception, that downward spiral would start all over again.....Maybe someday I will be strong enough...not today

[retteacher]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

t: The cravings can be awful. For me, they start as just a little thought that a drink would help me relax. Then the thought blossoms into a craving, then action (i.e. pouring the drink). I can only say that you must just turn your mind away. Every time you stay sober after being attacked by a craving is a new pathway in your brain that wasn't there before...really! So, the next time you can draw on the strength you gained yesterday from overcoming that urge.

Charlee: When you post, I identify. I was the same kind of secret drinker you were...complete w/replacing empty bottles etc.

Cindi: I'm praying for you & Adrienne...hard praying. Whatever you do, please don't cut yourself off from us.

Mary

[tea]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Hi Ret, No I cannot have alcohol in the house, I WILL drink it, even stuff I don't like............... and yes me too, when I am alone is when I want to drink..... does this part ever go away ???

Lx

[Pebbles]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

I have some in the house, but if it's stuff I can easily replace, I'll drink it! Then have to dispose of the empties and buy more, smuggle it into the house, etc etc etc then drink it and do it all over again. What a waste of energy!

Expensive wines we've had as gifts stay collecting dust as I can't imagine how I'd replace them without spending a fortune or my partner finding they were gone.

Day 2 AF - On a new mission.

[Cinders]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

First off, all of my friends, I would NEVER cut myself off from you. I rely on you so much to be there, to be support, and to support.

I stayed SOBER!! I STAYED SOBER!! Despite what I went through yesterday.

My daughter is going to be fine AS LONG AS SHE DOES NOT DRINK ANOTHER DROP OF ALCOHOL FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS!!!! That is what the doctor yesterday told her. He explained that ALL of her symptoms are liver damage related from drinking. OMG, this child is only 26 years old!!

Her eyes welled up with tears. She afraid. She is scared. Just like all of us who have looked at ourselves and admitted, we must stop. It is scary, it is hard, it is...

My daughter's wrists are the size of her 5 year old daughter's. Her hair is falling out. She has bruises all over her body. LIVER DAMAGE!!

BUT, the doctor said, the liver is not damaged beyond repair and can heal itself IF SHE DOES NOT DRINK. And he told her "that does not mean, okay, I can have a glass here at dinner or once in a while." He explained to her, it means NO ALCOHOL!!

She is afraid because she knows how hard that will be to do. (Hmmm, just like us, huh??)

He said, "in Nov, your enzymes were 4 times what they should have been, which was, kinda bad, now they are 10 times what they should be, which is really bad, but if you quit now you can undo all that harm."

It is sad that the hospital and doctors in November didn't tell her that her drinking was causing the harm because maybe she would have at least thought about it but at least today she knows.

However, today I know. And, more importantly, I know I cannot do anything to make her stop. Period. It is not my life. (damn, mom's hate to let go... especially when they are harming themselves..) The only thing I can do at this point is support her and stay sober myself. PERIOD.

So. Checking in. On day 4 and working on day 5.

tkeene - I completely understand the desire. Read above. sigh

Mary - I am so happy you have not had "thoughts" lately but recognize they will come and just beat the b@st@rd back. (sorry to use invectives, but that is what AL is)

To the rest of you, remember, it doesn't matter how old or how young, AL can kick your butt, literally. My girl is a beautiful, sweet, kind human being who has raised a child on her own, bought her own home and always stood on her own. AL is trying to steal that away. She is now married to a young man who doesn't understand and it makes it even more difficult. She is a good mommy, a good daughter and a good person. AL is trying to suck that all away.

Let's all kick AL's butt today. Just for today.

Love,
Cindi

[Janice]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Cindi, that is great news about your daughter's health.....you are so right though, you cannot make her stop.....I know only too well with my mam's drinking, she has had so many warnings/close calls over the last few years but still she drinks. But, your daughter is young and is a lucky girl having a mam like you Cindi, but she has got to want to do this herself. Sending you all lots of love and prayers.

Hi to everyone else......I'm trying to moderate at the moment but having a few
days AF this week, I'm definitely drinking less than before I found MWO. Trouble is with me its all or nothing and I know I'm probably fooling myself into thinking I can moderate.

We've always had alcohol in the house - spirits, beer and wine. I'm never tempted by beer/spirits but when I'm trying to moderate the wine does become a temptation for me on none drinking days. When my mind's in the right place (like this week) especially if I'm having a "good" AF spell then it doesn't bother me and I can even pour hubby his glass on a weekend. Doesn't make any sense does it? Janicexxx

[Thankful]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Hello, all. Trying to get back to normal even though I still feel sick. This bug is really kicking my butt.

Mary, I have AL in house at all times. My drink of choice was beer. My brother and sister live here and are also alcoholics. They are worse than I ever was (they have to have the brandy with their beer), and they have no desire to quit. They never (and I mean never) can have a couple and stop. It's all or nothing for them and they do this about 5 nights a week. My brother has severe liver problems and is doing nothing about it. They find my sobriety as an inconvience because I won't go to the liq store anymore and I'm the only one who drives. But you know, where there is a will there's a way and they never go without their drink. I thought it would be really hard to be around it and in the beginning it was. But now, when I see them drunk and reeking of the beer and liq it just turns my stomach. Like a recovered smoker, I just can't stand the smell anymore. I still have 4 of my beers in the fridge, but I can't bring myself to give them away or throw them out. I don't know why, but so far I haven't touched them either. I guess I just want to prove I can be strong whether it's in the house or not.

I seem to be having cravings today that I have not had in weeks, but I know I will stay strong. I'm trying very hard to try and figure out why, but not making a connection yet. It bothers so much when a craving hits, because I have not had a slip yet and I feel it will eventually happen. It seems that it happens to everyone at least once, so I'm afraid it will happen to me as well. I sometimes feel like I should have a drink, get it over with and maybe I can stop stressing about when am I going to screw up. It's been really occupying my mind this past week. I just don't want to start my AF days over (day 49) and that seems to keep me on the straight and narrow. God the more I type, the more I want a drink so I really better stop!

Cindi, you and your daughter continue to be in my prayers.
Tk, Mary & all - stay strong. You are an inspiration. Keep up the battle.

Just because I'm not on everyday, doesn't mean you all are not in my thoughts.

Love, Me
:l

[Accountable for Me]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Thinking of you Cindi. I hope your daughter finds the strength within herself to give up Al for good! (and for yourself of course as well).

I have made the executive decision to ask my Dr. for antabuse. After Sunday - and how drunk I got, I need some extra help to not pick up that first drink. I was scared out of my mind yesterday - that doom and gloom feeling. I looked at my daughter and felt like absolute crap. She needs me....... and I feel so shitty that I seem to be playing with fire even tempting to have the occasional drink. Like, who am I kidding?!?!

God, I hate Al.... I feel so depressed today. I loved being AF and all of the glory it brought me.

Anyway, have a great day all!

[Determinator]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Greetings AB friends and loverly sunny day in the high desert here.
Cindi what a blessing your daughter has a 2nd chance
AFM sorry you had a booboo. Antibuse question for you: how many day after your last drink can you safely start antibuse? I have a prescription to pick up myself. I'll be using it as needed for when I'm traveling with my hard drinking co-workers. when I'm at home I'm generally ok. There's beer, champaign etc in the house and that's ok unless I'm coming off a bad bender and "have" to drink to recover which is a crappy situation in general.
So I'm off to enjoy my AF lifestyle day and I wish you all the very best

[Determinatrix]

Tue. - Feb. 12 - Daily Thread

Cindi - The description of your daughters health is so scary and I am sure this is very stressful. I look to my future with my husband and hope that what you and your daughter are going through is something we never have to go through.

Congrats on maintaining your sobriety.
Dx