Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi MWO Friends: Again, I'm writing this in the wee hours...this is one of my many insomniac nights.

Now that I've been sober for 41 days, I go for hours wo/any drinking thoughts. However, I do still have at least one or two fleeting thoughts per day: "Hmmm, maybe, I'll just..." I haven't acted on those thoughts, & I have strategies for getting rid of them, but I do still get them. This just proves to me how closely drinking is tied to times when:
-I'm upset or worried.
-I'm nervous.
-Someone has disappointed me or vice versa.
-I have a conflict w/someone.
-I'm bored.
-etc.
I spent years using alcohol to deal w/those feelings & situations, & my drinking got progressively worse as time went on. In fact, it got to the point, at the end of my drinking, that I didn't put half-empty bottles back in the fridge. I always drank the whole thing...even if I had to get up in the middle of the night to do it.

Now that I'm sober & looking at a lifetime of sobriety, I'm realizing that getting through life w/honesty & integrity takes effort. It's not easy to apologize or bring issues out into the open. I say all this, because I'm having to learn this at a very late age (63 today). However, it's never too late. If I want to have self-esteem, real serenity (as opposed to numbness), & joy, I have to do the work.

Maybe, I'm thinking about all this, because it's my birthday today. I'm happy to be alive, healthy, & sober. My life isn't perfect, but it's quite good. Thank you all so much for being here. Sobriety is the best birthday present I could ever have received.

Love, Mary

[retteacher]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Kathy (Young at Heart):

Congratulations on 9 months today!

Mary

[panadol]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Happy Birthday Mary

Happy Birthday to you Mary
Congrats on your 41 days...That is awesome!!
You are having great insight into your tirggers
I hope this happens for me too. I'm day 2
today and thoroughly enjoyed waking without
a hangover!!Have more energy than I have had
in a long time. Heres to sobriety!Pan

[Janice]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Morning Mary & Panadol!! And, Happy Birthday Mary......a happy "sober" birthday! Hope you have a great day! Just read through yesterday's thread and it was so inspiring with lots of food for thought as usual.

Brigid thank you for your post about exercise and how you made such important changes in your life. This is where I am at the moment and it was motivating to read about how it had made such a difference to you. I also keep Bear's post closeby and look at it often (from longterm abbers "Abstinence or ODAT). "Become a new person" he says. I need to fill that void that alcohol has left and that means making changes. Exercise has got to be one of those changes and a priority for me not just an afterthought.

Mary, I love reading your introduction to this thread because you always give us something to think about and this morning you have made me take a look at my life and give thanks for being alive, being happy - yes happy!! - and sober. I have a lovely husband, 2 fantastic teenage children who I love and love me very much and I am grateful. Yes, I have a good life. I am grateful for these last two weeks. I feel as if I have turned a corner.

Have a good day everyone, I'll speak to you later.

Janicexxx

[Masquerade]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Happy Belated Birthday, Mary

Good Wednesday morning to all of you. I was invited "out" after work yesterday and decided to go (but was nervous about being in a bar with friends) ... so I said a prayer and bolstered my attitude.

Funny how God works . We had elections here yesterday so the bars were closed! No afterwork gathering as a result. He sure made it alot easier on me and I came home to a relaxing, herbal-tea/melatonin evening.

Taking it a day at a time.

Love to all.
- Masq

[Kirova]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Happy, happy birthday, dear Mary! Sounds like your special day is off to a strong start (despite the insomnia). The triggers you outline really resonate with me. Countless times in those situations I've had fleeting (and some not so fleeting) urges to "bolt" -- right for the bottle. But I haven't. I'm right behind you at 40 days AF. Life, despite all its myriad imperfections, is so much better now....and I'm feeling pretty thankful (come to think of it, I could stand to express a lot more gratitude...). Happy day, all! :h

[aquamarine]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Hi Everyone, Happy Birthday Mary! Hope you have a really great day for yourself. I can relate to having to deal with conflicts with people. I have found that for quite a few of my friends I am the constant "listener" , so much so that it can really be quite stressful since people tend to really want you to listen to alot of the negative things going on in their life.
I like being there in that way ,and I have let this happen , but it can get to be detrimental to your state of mind when it is constant. And there are a couple people who I really need to speak up to that have really caused me quite a bit of stress. But the reason I bring this up is that not drinking has made me realize that it is vital to my well being to be honest and speak my mind with these people. Even if it would cause conflict I would feel so much better because I would be dealing with it as opposed to ignoring it and really sacrificing a
little bit of my sanity, so to speak, in the process. Not sure if this makes sense to anyone. Kind of ties in with the theme of always doing for others and never looking out for yourself
Panadol- Congratulations on Day 2. That is a wonderful accomplishment!
Janice- I too have alot to be grateful for and not drinking really makes you realize that.
You really have to remember how great you have it sometimes and how ridiculous it is to just sabatoge it all with alcohol.
Hi Kirova and Masquerade- good to hear you sounding positive.
Hope everyone has a positive, uplifting day. Aquamarine

[4theboyz]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Thank you early birds for starting the day!


Happy Birthday Mary and thank you for sharing your perspective on sober triggers. I think those are universal and never go away but fixing in new strategies to cope are invaluable in confronting those testy moments. Deep breaths and time outs work for me, I still have youngins that push my buttons hard and often!

Looks like exercise is on my to do list as well. Have a great day Abbers!

[charlee]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Morning all
Happy Birthday Mary...doesn't it feel good just to be "you".....what you see is what you get!!!, no more hiding feelings because of the guilt? A huge burden has been lifted and it is truly one of the freedoms I am enjoying most....Exercise........I keep pushing it to the bottom of my "to do" list, if I don't get in the mode soon, I know I will be regretting it come summer!!!!

[retteacher]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Everyone: It's amazing how one thread starter can get so many peoples' wisdom out. I loved the posts about not always having to be the "listener," the "counselor." Sometimes we have needs & want people to listen to us. Also, Char, I liked what you said about not "hiding." One of my goals is to get my outsides to match what I'm feeling inside. I feel that's true honesty. I understand that there is a certain amount of "holding back" we have to do. However, I've sometimes buried my real self completely. I think I used alcohol to get it out.

And Janice: I read your thread "Abstinence or ODAT" & found it most interesting. I read Bear's post back to you. Interestingly, there was an AA speaker at our alanon meeting on Mon. When she was still in rehab, she got a sponsor who told her that she would have to "change everything." That seems pretty daunting, but when you hit a real low bottom (as she did), you're willing to do whatever it takes to get better.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. My husband & I are going to a nice restaurant tonight...no kids or g-kids. Mary

[APerry36]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

happy birthday retteacher!! i know that one of my triggers can also be when i feel i have something to "celebrate" and later i realize that i brought down something that could have otherwise been very joyful all on it's own. i can't wait til my first sober birthday- god knows what i've been missing all these years. congratulations on 41 days!! on day 3 over here- i have to say that just plain quitting is 50 times easier than "cutting back" for some reason...

[cowgal]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

happy birthday!!

Mary, happy birthday!!!! :bday6::day5::goodtime: Enjoy an AF dinner w/ hubby!!

Everyone else, you all sound so positive!! Day24 has been good so far!! This is a marvelous journey I have taken so far, looking forward to what else it brings to my sights.............Yep, soooooooo much to be grateful for!!

Have a great day everyone,

Love,:h

MA

[retteacher]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Cowgirl: You sound better & better every day. Has your sobriety had a ripple effect? It usually does. M

[Cinders]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Mary, Here is wishing you a wonderful and happy birthday. Enjoy a nice quiet dinner with your husband tonight.

Everyone else, please have a super day. All of you sound like you are doing so well. It is heartening!!

Kathy, I am so sorry about your mom's friend. My folks are 84 and have lost most of their friends. Luckily, they still have each other and they seem to still be able to make new friends.

Hanging in there and can't wait 'til Friday!!

Love to all,
Cindi

[YoungAtHeart]

Wed. - Mar. 12 - Daily Thread

Happy Birthday Mary! I hope you have the very best birthday. With no kids or grandkids, it will be very peaceful, at least.:H Isn't it nice to go to a restaurant sober? You can really appreciate the food. I hope that you and your husband have a lovely time. Also, congrats on your 41 days. I hope you get some really good sleep soon.

Thanks so much for remembering my 9-month anniversary. It is hard to believe that I haven't had an alcoholic drink for 9 months. I am very happy about it. I am feeling good and pretty positive, and so relieved of the constant worry that drinking constantly held over my head.

tk, sorry to report that I haven't put up a profile yet on a dating site. I don't feel quite ready for that. Have a happy "hump day" and keep it up with your continued sobriety. Thanks for your prayers, too. I talked with my mom last night again, and she seemed okay.

Happy Day 2, Panadol, and Janice, thank YOU for your thoughtful words about GRATITUDE.

Where do you live, Masquerade? In my part of the US, the schools close so we can vote, but the bars certainly don't. Many people like to drink and watch the election returns. It's a big bar business day. I'm glad that you were "rescued" from an anxiety provoking situation.

Congrats on your 40 days, Kirova. Way to go!

Aquamarine, I am like you in a way, many times a confidante to others, and you're right--many times what you hear is the negative stuff. I am glad that you are wanting to limit how much energy you wish to give to this, even if you do enjoy the role. I am learning to set some limits on the time I give to this, and I also give more honest feedback--tactfully of course. The people who just want to gripe disappear, and the people who want feedback hang around.

Boyz, when my birthday comes, I want a cake too!

Hi Charlee, I love to see you being YOU. Oh yes, that exercise. I feel like it keeps getting pushed to the bottom of my list too.

My doctor once said even if you can't do anything else, you can get moving for 10 minutes a day. She insists that if you start there, you can begin to build on that until you are exercising 45-60 minutes a day. She is right. It's just a matter of getting started. I think I'm afraid to get started.

Anyway, I go pick up Maddy for spring break on Friday, and then up to NY a week from today. I'm looking forward to the change in routine.

Lord have mercy, three peeps have come along and posted while I was writing. I should learn to be less verbose!

APerry, you're right, it is easier to just quit than cut down. Congrats on your Day 3.

Cowgal, 24 and counting--you are sounding great, and so optimistic! I was just putting one foot in front ot the other at Day 24. Good work!

Cindi, hugs to you, honey. I'm glad your parents have each other. It sounds really sweet, but of course, the reality is probably more difficult than that.

Take care all, and hugs to all to come.

:l :l