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I'M IN FOR THE 30 DAY AF AT LAST!!!

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    I'M IN FOR THE 30 DAY AF AT LAST!!!

    Hi monthly abstainers
    I was waiting for todays thread but it doesn't seem to have started yet. I will post on it later. May I say a big THANK YOU to all your replies on the other threads I posted on. If you can remember I was going to join this board and only managed 1 day. I went off to my doctors to see what help they could offer about my problems with alcohol. My doctor told me to wean off it which I now know is impossible for me. Being an alcoholic it is not possible for me to leave some wine in the bottle. It has to be all or nothing for me. I have done a lot of soulsearching over the past week and have realised I am an alcoholic. I cannot stop myself when I drink and I drink to get drunk. I also realised I have always had a problem with alcohol, even as young as 18. I didn't drink all week and then would binge to the point of black outs on a weekend. I was moderating last week but it didn't make me happy and last night I ended up drinking 1 1/2 bottles of wine. The guilt and regret I feel today is unbelieveable, but I am trying to stay positive in that today is a new day and I can change the way things are if I want. I cannot take that first drink. So today I am going to not drink. I will take this one day at a time but I know deep deep down I have to do this for my kids and myself. I do not want my kids to grow up around alcohol and having a drunk for a mother. I want to be the confident loving mother I know I can be. With a little help from you all and my willpower I will give this my best shot. Thanks for reading and looking forward to your words of support. XXSeto

    #2
    I'M IN FOR THE 30 DAY AF AT LAST!!!

    Hi Seto,

    I don't know you yet but you sound very much like me. I'm 4 days AF at the moment. Last November I managed 14days AF but thats the most i've done in 6years. I'm absolutely committed to getting 30 days under my belt this time round and carring on from there, why would I want to have a drink after 30days AF, I'm an alcoholic and can't drink moderately AT ALL. So I'm hoping with 30AF days I'm going to be mentally, emotionally and physically stronger to carry on being af.

    I have 3 kids aged 15, 13 & 11 years and god bless them they've put up with a lot. I haven't posted this any where else yet, but my 13yr old videoed me drunk on her phone a couple of weeks ago. My kids all got together Thursday night and showed it to me. I'm going to post a thread about it later.

    I don't want to be a drunk mum anymore Seto and i'd love it if we could support each other in reaching 30 days af.

    Please do try & stay positive today, be kind to yourself eat & drink plenty (water) if you can, if you don't drink today tomorrow you will be fresher & stronger to tackle 30af days one at at time.
    sending you a big :l cause I know how sh*t your probably feeling now
    take care and i'll look forward to getting to know you better

    love
    want
    xxx
    AF since April 8th 2008 :kudos::rays:

    Snake....... come crawling,
    There's fire in your eyes,
    Bite me, excite me,
    I'll learn to realize.

    The poison transmuted,
    Brings eternal flame.
    Open me to heaven,
    To heal me again.

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      #3
      I'M IN FOR THE 30 DAY AF AT LAST!!!

      Seto,

      I am incredibly proud of you! You must have done a lot of soul searching to reach your decision. I know in my earlier response to your post I was very harsh and I am sorry for that but I know what it takes. You will find super support here.

      I have faith in you This is something that is day to day and will take time. After the first few weeks it gets better. I find the greatest motivation in my children. I used to use the stress of parenting as an excuse to pound down a bottle or 2 of wine. I now have a list of other activities to do. So far so good.

      Seto, wishing peace and happiness~ On my way
      Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

      Comment


        #4
        I'M IN FOR THE 30 DAY AF AT LAST!!!

        Hi again
        Want thank you for your support. Well done on 4 days, that's where I will be on Tuesday and I mean that. Gosh it must have been really hard for you to watch that video of yourself. I have never seen myself drunk but I know I would HATE it. Still it should give you another reason why not to drink. On my way, you were not harsh at all. Actually you give me a lot of reason and I am quite a reasonable person (apart from where alcohol is concerned that is) so thank you. Sometimes what we need to here is the real truth and if its hurts then we should do something about it and I intend to with all your help. My little ones are 2 years old and 5 months old so I have time to turn this around. I want them to be proud of me, I really do. Here's to 30 days AF and the rest will follow XXXSeto

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          #5
          I'M IN FOR THE 30 DAY AF AT LAST!!!

          good luck to both of u, i wish u both well. as u said it, take it day by day, and even if u have to is take it hour by hour. try as much to keep it in the day.

          i hope that it works out for u both (((hugs)))

          Comment


            #6
            I'M IN FOR THE 30 DAY AF AT LAST!!!

            Seto: I too admitted I was an alcoholic after coming here to MWO...it was a few months in. I too cannot stop once I start. I have blacked out, been hungover, & avoided life's problems (only to create more because of drinking). I've been here for 1 year & have had some slips. However, I've had more sobriety here than ever...hundreds of days, broken by a few slips. I'm now 70 something AF. I do not intend to ever drink again. The going may (may not) get rough for you. Keep coming. We're here.

            MWO has been a godsend for me. I'm not this honest anywhere else. I feel that I needed to be honest about my alcoholism (no, I'm not afraid to say it), but didn't want to confide in anyone. Maybe I will someday. I don't know.

            Seto, good luck. We've got your back. Mary
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

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