Thursday 17th April

[Seen the light!]

Good morning all!!


Thank you all for your happy birthdays and well wishes yesterday! I'm Still not there with all the names yet I forget who writes what (i will get there!) I do remember Vinophile saying I would feel better this morning having an AF birthday and you were so right - I feel great this morning!

Congrats to you Cindi - I bet you feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders now that your daughter is getting help - things can only get better from now on xx

Well I made it to work yesterday and managed a cream bun (yum) and had a nice day AF -here's to Day 4 AF (my self respect is slowly coming back)

Something was said yesterday (Is it Janice who looks after he alcoholic mother?) I've never really connected my mum's drinking with mine but she drinks every day without fail and although she has improved her behaviour - in the past she had a few years where she put me through hell! She upset everybody all the time and really seemed to lose the plot for a while - I remember then thinking - I'll never get like that and I nearly did! Maybe when I really kick this I can help her ... one step at a time.

Wish you all a brilliant day - best go get the kids up and get to work!! xxxxx

[Janice]

Thursday 17th April

Hi everyone.......Seenthelight, so pleased you enjoyed your first AF birthday!! You sound great, motivated and upbeat as you take on day 4!!!

Welcome to Monthly Abs Lorelei and making it past day 2!! I have totally accepted that moderation does not work for me; I've tried it but the trouble is the "wanting", or should I say the addiction, is still there in my brain, and after an AF spell, reintroducing alcohol seems to ignite that need/addiction even more and I end up drinking more than ever.

Can't remember who said about having more energy - Beck I think? Its amazing what I pack into my day now.....and what I see needs to be done. Seems like I've been living in a fog where everything seemed a big deal and too much effort.

Thats exactly how mam lives. The house is filthy. She has no interest in anything or anyone only her next drink. She spends all her day in her dark, dirty bedroom on her bed with the tele on. Sometimes she has gone weeks without a shower or washing her hair and one time when I went, I had to sit her in a chair in her bedroom, naked, and wash her down....all her self respect gone, totally gone.

So many people have tried to help but she's turned everyone away - there's nothing anyone can do, except mam and she doesn't want to. She can't see what has happened to her and....like you said Janet, blames everyone else for everything that has gone wrong. She still calls Dad to me, playing hell that he hasn't done this, or he hasn't done that, totally forgetting that hes no longer here.....how I bite my tongue those times I do not know. She emotionally abuses my brother if he doesn't get her the supplies and constantly pushes him to the edge of his illness (hes a paranoid schizophrenic).

Its definitely too late for mam, she has no intention of stopping but I am determined to shake off this legacy (my nana was an alcoholic too, mam's mam). This time I feel strong, I hate what alcohol has done to my once beautiful, gentle and loving mam, and my family. I hate it with a vengence and there's no room for it in my life.

Will be back on later, I need a strong cup of coffee now.

Janicexxx

[wantrealmeaning]

Thursday 17th April

Morning Seenthelight,
really pleased you had an AF birthday, keep going :goodjob:. I'm on day 9af today and feeling better everyday. The cravings seem to be getting a little bit less, I'm keeping myself really busy and not paying them much attention at all. The drinking thinking is still with me but I'm manageing it. It would be lovely if you could help your mum when your in a better place yourself, that's if she's ready for it.

Like Seenthelight I can't keep up with exactly who's who, and who says what, but I'm planning on sticking around for a long time so I will get to know you all better.

Cindi, that's brilliant news that your daughter is in rehab, how long will she be in for? I really pray she gains enough strength to grab hold of all the help she gets and doesn't let go. :h

Janice, really wish your mam could do the same. Last year when I was posting on here I can remember you talking about your mam then, up untill that point my thinking was, if I can stay sober long enough to raise my kids into adulthood, then I can sink myself into drunken oblivion after they've left home. I was still very depressed then and couldn't imagine coping with life without alcohol, just couldn't see the light. :H seenthelight, hadn't realised what I'd put then. Anyway what I'm trying to get to is your story about your mam woke me up to the fact that your kids are always your kids, no matter how old they are. I want to be a part of my children lives and my future grandchildren. If my children encounter any kind of addiction when they're older (God forbid, there's alcoholism on their father's side of the family and it's rife on my side). I want to be there to help and support them. Janice, you and your mam have been instrumental in waking me up to life, and that's precious :l.

Well no I've got that off my chest, hello to everyone to come. Mary, hope your husband getting better. Hope everyone has a fab day. I've got another busy one, lots of trips to the rubbish dump today.

Take care everyone, I'll probably check in again at the end of the day
want
:h

[wantrealmeaning]

Thursday 17th April

God bless you, Janice, I know you'll beat this, I want to give you a massive hug. :huggy:soothe::armsaround:

XX

[Janice]

Thursday 17th April

Want, thank you so much for your kind words......:l Janicex

[Lorelei]

Thursday 17th April

Good Morning All,

Congratulations Seen for making your first (of many) AF birthdays!

Today is the beginning of day 3 for me. If things go as usual I will start to get urges to drink by the end of the day today. I won't give in, and I'll spend some extra time on the boards and maybe even enter into chat for the first time ever.

Determinator - thats good advice because the feelings I'm feeling are kind of like the ones I have had when I've broken up with someone.

In the past I never had these feelings because somewhere in the back of my head I knew I was going to have another drink eventually. Now I have to say goodbye for good I have to admit finally that I am an alcoholic....not just someone who drinks a little too much now and then. Its hard not to beat oneself up when coming to this realization. If only I were strong enough to control it. Why do I have to be so weak? But really the only weakness lies in continuing to allow alcohol to rob me of my life.

Time to go to work now, but I'll be checkng in all day.

-lorelei

[retteacher]

Thursday 17th April

Hi Everyone: I wanted to quickly check in & say hello. There's so much courage in this thread. I came from an alcoholic home as well. I want to break this cycle. I stayed sober yesterday & will do so today. Mary

[Determinator]

Thursday 17th April

well I'm up but have to zoom off already! be back in an hour or so. huff puff!

have a great day you early birds!!

[vinophile]

Thursday 17th April

Good Morning,
Quick check-in before running to the gym. It's just lovely weather here and it really has me in an upbeat mood. Spring is finally here!!
Once again last night I struggle for 30-60 minutes playing the "should I or shouldn't I dance". I finally just accepted it for what it was... a feeling that indeed does pass. I know tonight there will be a period of time where i say to myself "you've gone so many days without wine. You really don't have a problem" I promise myself that I will think the drink through, as they say in AA, and ponder where I will be in 3 hours if I do have wine. I know that if I drink it will not pick me up, but in the end, leave me somewhere dark and dreary.
I rented a British tv series from the library last night called "Foyle's War" I had never heard of it before but I loved it. You folks in Britain really have some great television. The great thing is that I have several nights to watch and that gives me something, other than wine, to look foward to at night.

Will return later. Good to see everyone in good shape. I won't get into mothers right now as I caould go on and on. Unfortunately I have learned that apples don't fall far from trees. I guess we all have to learn to roll away on our own.

Make it a good morning!

Janet

[Cinders]

Thursday 17th April

Good Morning ABers,

See - Thank you for starting the thread. It is great to see our numbers grow and gain strength because of it.

Want - I agree, it has become so obvious to me that our children need good examples and help all through their lives. I still rely on my 84 year old parents for advice and love!! My grandchildren look up to me and rely on my love and affection. Any one of us who has family addictions can help stop the cycle now. Now.

Janice - You are doing so brilliantly. I am so sorry about your Mam's and brother's situation but you are doing what is right for all of them. I, too, am finding I am getting more and more done everyday, work, life, house and even have special time to devote to just spending time with my hubby at the end of the day. When before I would be drunk and sleepy, I am now able to engage with him and laugh, debate, discuss. This life is so much better.

Lorelei - Stay strong today. Do it ODAT for today. You are early on and each day is a little rough at first. We all know. Jump on whenever you need support. Someone will be here. I found the first week the hardest and then every day after that gets easier and easier. Don't let AL whisper in your ear. He is tricky, sneaky and downright mean. Grrrr. Kick him back.

Det - I know you are traveling and super busy right now but I just wanted to shout out "hi." You are one of our maintstays and such an inspiration to us.

Kathy - Thanks for replying to my pm. I know you jump on late and think no one reads your post but I look for it in the evenings or mornings. You, too, are one of our inspirations.

Mary - I hope hubby is healing quickly so he is fit and ready for his surgery next week. I am sending strength and hugs to you both. More reminders to give yourself some time everyday to take care of Mary.

I have a lot of work to catch up with this week. Two clients and administrivia and it all has to be done in the next two days. Eeek. At least I can now focus on that part of my life and get going with it. The next month is going to be a huge challenge with taking care of L'il Bit and work and getting the house ready for company. Oh, and now the wedding all lies on my shoulders. Daughter is getting married 2 days after she gets out of rehab. At least the bride will be somewhat healed as she walks down the aisle.

Have a wonderful day everyone!!

Love,
Cindi
XXXII

[retteacher]

Thursday 17th April

Cindi: Does your g-daughter understand that her mommy is getting well? I hope so! Thank God for you & your husband. Good luck.

My husband is going back to the doc. The cold is more like a sinus infection, & he now has pink eye. We feel like he's been visited by the 7 plagues. This too shall pass.

Mary

[aquamarine]

Thursday 17th April

Hi Everyone! I continue to do well here. The most Af days I have done is 90.,, 2years ago ,this time feels so much better.

Mary- I know this is a bit in the past but I loved what you brought up about this not being a contest but our lives. That is such a good way to look at the whole process. I think when you start really thinking and feeling like that is when you really start to change. We can aim to be AF for life but even in reality if we have slips intermittently that's still really good and realistic. When I hear someone say they will never drink again who is going through a rough time I know that they are probably not far along in the learning process about this "disease" because for most people that is not reality, at least until they have been really at this for a significant period of time. Not to say we shouldn't be striving for total AF, but I just think it is part of the process and sometimes, at least for me, an invaluable learning experience.
Lorelei- Congratulations on Day 3 . I know how hard those first few days can be.
Hello to everyone- Seen the Light, Janice, WRM, Determinator, Vinophile, Cindi.
Take Care and Stay Strong! Aquamarine

[Mohun]

Thursday 17th April

Morning all. Congrats to everyone. 7 days AF for me now. Feeling great.

Cheers.

[Lorelei]

Thursday 17th April

I've done 30 days before but only once. I felt so good once I made it that far, one wonders why I started again. But of course we all know why. I can't believe I was in denial for so long but I'm glad the veil finally lifted. I'm looking forward to the day when I can feel good about myself again.

[YoungAtHeart]

Thursday 17th April

Hi All,

I'm jumping on early for once. It's just selfish though--the thought of trying to respond to 3-4 pages is just too much! It IS good to see that Absville is just rolling along, however.

There are many of you that I hardly know at all, and I look forward to getting to know you better as time goes by. When I first tried to abstain, I would have a few weeks AF, then a while still drinking. But I never really enjoyed drinking again. I had so much more awareness of what it was costing me physically and emotionally. I think I did a lot of my mourning while I was still drinking. It wasn't that hard when I quit, but I didn't get that sense of elation that some people get either. I just kept plugging along with it. It took several months before I really started feeling GOOD. I had a relationship like that once, too. When it was over, all I felt was a little sad, but mostly RELIEF. I had gone through the anger and sadness while I was still involved. When it ended, I was completely sure that it needed to end. That's how I felt with alcohol too. I'm not sure why I'm writing all of this except maybe to let the people who don't know me much get to know me a little, and also to offer encouragement that we all go about this our own way and find sobriety in our own time.

Anyway, Cindi, I'm so happy that you don't have to worry about Adrienne for the moment at least, knowing that she is in rehab. Also, I don't think I've congratulated you on your 30 days yet! You've come through some very tough times and stayed strong. Viva l'antabuse, eh? Of course, YOU had to make sure you took it, so kudos to you! Good luck taking care of your work and the kids and the wedding and EVERYTHING in the coming month.

Mary, I'm thinking of you and your husband. It does sound like you both are being visited by the plagues! I hope everything settles down so that the two of you can get on with your husband's surgery. I have no doubt that you are still on the sober road. Truly, I can't say that I'll never drink again. Who knows what the future will bring? But you do exactly the right thing, by jumping back up and getting back on the wagon.

Hi, Janet, I'm so happy to see you posting more regularly. That witching hour or two can be hard, but it does get easier. You'll be surprised to find one day that you haven't even thought of a drink. It will come.

Janice, I'm sorry about your Mam. It must be a somewhat sorrowful task to take care of her. Take care of yourself, please. Okay?

You're doing great on your business trips these days, Deter!:goodjob:

As for mothers, folks, I wish my mother had drank some. She needed to lighten up a little when I was a kid! Otherwise, I have plenty of alcoholism on both sides of my family, and my dad was a 2 glass/wine per day alkie until he retired. Then he was a 3 glass/day alkie. I'm the big lush in the family.

Anyway, Lorelei, Mohun, aquamarine, seen the light, WRM, take care of yourself, and keep the faith, ODAT.

:l :l

PS: This is why I don't post much--it takes me at least an hour--I don't know how to make it short and sweet.