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kashyapi
September 29th, 2008, 11:46 AM
Hi..i really need some suggestions from you..my younger brother is only 23yrs. old but started to take alcohol from last two yrs. When he gets drunk he becoms very violent and starts to break household things. I had taken him to two doctors but all my efforts are going in vein as he has not stopped his drinking behaviour. On the other hand, my father who used to take alcohol very occassionally now started taking alcohol regularly.. My mom and me requested him not to take alcohol because we thought that it would effect on my brother's drinking and he would never stop...But my father ,instead of realizing the situation stil continuing his drinking and blaming us (me and mom) that we've spoiled my brother by sending him to study away from home. plz help me giving some suggestions how to stop the drinking of my brother and father without their knowledge and without taking to rehab. centre because i know they will never go...

startingover
September 29th, 2008, 11:53 AM
Hi Kashyapi. Your story breaks my heart because in my experience unless someone wants to stop drinking there is not a whole lot you can do.
Do either of them want to stop, or do they realise the effect it is having on you and your mum? Maybe if you can talk to them (when they are sober) and see what they say....
I wish you luck my friend. It is such a difficult situation.
You can look after yourself and your mum though. Keep reading and posting here and there will always be lots of support for you both

needachange
September 29th, 2008, 10:15 PM
I agree, not much you can do until they make decision to quit. So sorry for your pain. Do take care of yourself. let them know the damage and pain they can cause. I have been drinking for years and have caused lots of problems. My family probably thought I would never quit but I have finally decided I wanted to stop. Never give up hope. You never know what miracle may happen.

LVT25
September 30th, 2008, 08:59 AM
Hi Kash,

It's pretty much true, you cannot control another person nor their drinking. I know it's hard, I was married to an alcoholic a long time ago, and it was miserable. I thought I could change him. But what I had to do was change me. I had to learn to let go of some behaviors and learn that I was not all powerful enough to change him. Some things I might suggest for you and your mother are: Al-anon, counseling, and one of the books that helped me a great deal was "Co-dependent No More" by Melody Beatty.
I hope this helps a little.:)

Waiting for his way out
September 30th, 2008, 04:26 PM
Yes, "Co-dependent no more" is the book that took me out of my screaming, crying and yelling at my husband, due to his drinking, to the internal place I am now. It will make you understand where you are and where you can go from here. Buy it for you and for your mom, for your sanity and search for peace.