Monday Oct 20 daily

[on my way]

Good morning all, I?m all tired out from a busy weekend. Looks like an equally busy week in store.

I know weekends can be a tough time for many of us, parties, sporting events, family get togethers etc. not easy stuff. I hope everyone came through without al, if not there is no reason why you can?t dust yourself off keep trying. I seem to alienate myself more and more, I don?t want to set myself up for failure. I know this a pattern that is neither healthy nor good but at the time it is what works for me.

And now I need to make a call to the Doc, looks like pink eye is here. Gosh I?m glad were done with the chicken pox?.what the heck is next??

[retteacher]

Monday Oct 20 daily

OMW: We were posting at the same time. I'll paste my thread here.

[retteacher]

Monday Oct 20 daily

It's Monday & the beginning of a new week. Today happens to be my son's 39th birthday, so it's a great day for me to recommit to being sober. He got his 6 month chip in AA this month, so I couldn't be happier for him.

As for me, I'm doing fine. I have to constantly watch out for fatigue & stress, as that tends to push me into drinking. Also, the alcoholic voice rears its ugly head at times, telling me that I can drink like normal people do now that I've had so many AF days in MWO. No way! The lapses I've had have proven otherwise.

Please do not be afraid to post here...even if you've had a few slips or need some support in getting back on track. None of us are here to judge. We've all been where you've been. If I felt that I couldn't come back after a slip, I would have had to drop out of MWO long ago.

Mary
__________________
Wisdom, Courage, Strength

[charlee]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Morning
OMW - another rough start to your week.....pink eye?.....Think we need a good "deep freeze" to take care of those nasty germs.....

May - I like your word "recommit". As I read through the threads, I find that this is a word that is used (IMO), way to infrequently. We all have good intentions, we are all going to try, we all certainly want it, but I knew at the beginning of this journey I needed to make that commitment, promise, pledge to myself. I have been down this road, so many times before, always giving in......This was going to be my last go, I was running out of health, and running out of life. I prepared my self for all the "what if" situations (the best I could), and then and only then was I ready to say good-bye to Al. I am such a strong believer that we need to make that self commitment.....I still have alot of work to do. If anyone had asked me almost 1 year ago where I would be with my life I would have painted a different picture from where I actually am. I know I need to work on my "me" stuff and until I make that commitment I will be content just staying sober......Thanks for reminding me of that all important word.....
Hope everyone has a great start to their week..

[retteacher]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Char: Thank you for your wise words. I think that as I continue to stay sober one day at a time, the "issues" iron themselves out as I go along. There was a time when I felt I couldn't speak my mind to anyone. I felt alone & bottled up. As the days go on, I can see myself opening up a little at a time.

I've noticed a big difference in my son since he's gotten sober. He's a really shy guy, but I've seen so much more clarity & openness in him. When we put down the drink, our personality can blossom.

Mary

[Cinders]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Mary, Char, OMW,

I just posted something similar in the subs section.

I am tired of not feeling good about myself even when sober. There is something not right there.

It is time for me to step up to the plate and address the issues that being sober has uncovered.

Yes, I have slipped. No, I am not going to be a continual relapser. I refuse.

However, I also refuse to feel so rotten all the time. Slightly off balance.

Today, I will find a therapist I can talk to. I am researching some good reading. I am determined to learn how to feel good about myself.

Thank you for all your wise words. They help.

Love,
Cindi

[charlee]

Monday Oct 20 daily

I think "Star" may have started something here, a good something. Although I get exasperated with me sometimes for not "shitting or getting off the pot" regarding steps to have a life that is more fulfilling to me. As I ponder these as choices, choices I have yet to make. I seem to be in stuck mode... I call it lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined, or just plain to much work...actually I am not sure I even know what it is I want!!!, and if I did ...do I really want it or just think I do?.....These are questions, only I can answer....I will be patient. I will not be looking "to hard" for the answers, they will come. I can be very patient....
Cindi, I tried the therapist route...being it was my first time with one on one counseling, I am not sure if I just had a crappy therapist or if I just knew the answers were within me. I hope you have better luck, some have made great strides by "talking it out"...

[MormonMom]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Hello everyone!
I'm having a BLAHHHH Monday. Husband already pissed me off on his way out the door to work. What's new?! Glad I have you people to vent to, whether you want to hear it or not. Hee! Hee!
Cinders and Mary, you are so right. We all just have to keep trying, even if we slip up. No matter what side road we turn off on, we can always find our way back to the main road.
Mary I think that's awesome that your son got his 6 month chip. That inspires me. Though I try to keep my focus on one day at a time, sometimes I look ahead and dream of those big mile stones.
I've been fortunate this past week. No cravings and no situations that made me crave. I'm still doing a lot of over-eating, substituting one habit for another. But I am still tracking my calories, both on good days and bad days and committing to going to the gym 5 days a week. Setting up a regular workout program is always something that goes the wayside after so long, but I'm really trying to stick with it. I've been more motivated and more self confident. I'm still fat, but at least I'm happy :-)

[pepper]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Good morning fellow abbers,

Well it's Monday again and I've survived the weekend AF. I had some tough moments of self pity yesterday though, thinking about how I sure would like a beer and maybe it's not so bad after all and I can just have a few? Who the heck am I trying to kid?! I was being sad for myself that at upcoming events I won't be able to imbibe...do any of you ever do this and how do you make yourself feel better about feeling like something will be missing from your life AF?

MM, I can relate about the workout program...I get on the wagon then I fall off again--lol! I do think exercise does a world of good for our self esteem and just moving towards a healthier lifestyle with out AL. Keep up the good work. I did my workout at 5am this morning and I started out being disgusted with myself for not being able to complete a set of push-ups, but by the end I was feeling better and at least I am doing something to get stronger even if I have trouble completing a set.

Good day to everyone!

[Determinator]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Happy Monday ABerooonies!

what an inspiring and content-rich thread for this loverly day. wow.

Cindi, it sounds like your issues may not be directly related to al so my guess is that a therapist should be able to help you out. at least I hope so....I've had several friends that are very glad they sought therapists help.

Pepper, that's the thing that drives me away from a lot of social settings...being the odd duck out with AF and feeling like I'm missing out on something. I have managed to understand (in spite of my thick wooden head) that drinking just made me more withdrawn and cryptic and even creepy. My behaviour now is the real me. like it or not it's me "au naturale". and that in and of itself is my true being. a being that is changing and evolving but it's me. and I should be comfortable with just 'me'.

be well my friends!

[A Work in Progress]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Morning everyone, great thread, as always. Re-commit is the word for the day, for me too. Today is 90 days AF for me, and I need to be very careful now to maintain a balance between doing what I believe keeps me AF, and not getting stagnant and/or complacent. Very challenging! As Det says, being comfortable with "just me," the me who is free of the distorting influence of alcohol, the me who is free to plan and pursue a life that is very different from where life was going while I was drinking.

For me, the practice of meditation is a way of becoming "my own therapist." A wonderful colleague, the psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Dan Siegel, has written about this. He makes some very good points. Learning to listen to myself in a compassionate way... the practice of mindfulness... is an amazing method and discipline that promotes all kinds of healing. So: I re-commit to my meditation practice. And to physical exercise. The two most powerful "supplements," for me: exercise, and meditation.

wip

[Cinders]

Monday Oct 20 daily

WIP,

I have tried to meditate without much success.

I did just order an online mp3 hypnosis session.

I really like it a lot. It takes you way down into relaxation and addresses internal thoughts. For me, it is a start.

Love,
Cindi

[A Work in Progress]

Monday Oct 20 daily

That's great, Cindi! Hypnosis and relaxation practices can be SO helpful in this struggle... For many people, those practices make ALL the difference... Not everyone benefits from meditation, or from any particular component of somebody else's program, for that matter. I tried some Tai Chi, really hoped I would love it and benefit from it, but found it just insanely difficult and annoying. Meditation was and is challenging, for sure, but helpful to me.

wip

[Determinator]

Monday Oct 20 daily

yeah WIP for 90 big ones!!!!!!!!!!!

great points on the self-help with meditation.

[retteacher]

Monday Oct 20 daily

Everyone: There's a lot of depth to this thread today. I know exactly what you all have said about dealing w/issues. They were hidden when I drank. Now, they seem so glaring. I go to Alanon at least once, sometimes twice @ week. The fellowship of the meetings helps me live my life. I've seen a lot of AA members at the Alanon meetings. They say (& I concur) that once they put the drink down, they have to learn how to live.