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Inconsistent Abstainer

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    #1

    Inconsistent Abstainer

    Hi Folks,

    Actually I should have labeled this Inconsistent Moderator, not Abstainer...

    I joined MWO back in 2006 and did the moderation program for a while and felt pretty good about it. I dribbled off and now here in 2008 I see I am no different and inconsistent with moderation. I consider myself a moderate drinker averaging 14-24 lite beers or less beer and a bottle of wine in one week.

    I am considering re-joining moderators for November. I do a lot of things right like eat fresh foods, grow my own veggies or do most of my shopping at the farmers market. I can go 3 nights AF, but then usually go off and drink a bit more than I had planned. I tend to drink while I'm cooking. Example, I made homemade applesauce, granola, and cooked dinner yesterday and consume 1 bottle of wine.

    So many people think I'm so healthy, but I don't feel I am. I would love to cook and bake and not drink. So I rationalize that because I'm eating healthy I can drink, so what.

    Then the heartburn starts, the morning regrets, etc. I realize some people would love to be AF 3 days and would not think much of a bottle of wine while cooking for hours. But it bothers me, and I never feel fresh in the morning.

    Any solo-cooks who drink out there? I sometimes think I'm too hard on myself, and sometimes I think I'm way too clever and hide the alcohol struggle too well.

    Thanks! I look forward to being back.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Inconsistent Abstainer

    Yip this cook USED to drink whilst whipping up all sorts of elaborate meals. The more elaborate the meal the longer I could hide in the kitchen and glug my wine in peace.

    I am happy to report that after doing 60 days AF, I have broken that habit and i only allow myself 2 glasses of wine a week. Although my urge to cook has also gone downhill, I tend to fly in and out of the kitchen now, cooking the easiest and quickest meal imaginable I don't feel the urge to drink whilst cooking anymore. I now enjoy a glass of iced green tea with a slice of lemon.

    Welcome Back!!
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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      #3
      Inconsistent Abstainer

      Speedster, welcome back. Sounds as if you are not sure whether you want, or need, to quit the drinking? Can you develop a plan for moderate drinking, and see how it works, for 30 days? That will tell you more about whether or not you have the capacity to control your consumption. What do you think?

      best wishes,

      wip

      Comment

        #4
        Inconsistent Abstainer

        Speedster.....i confess, i too could drink a bottle of wine while cooking and i cook a lot. That was my favorite time to drink.... along with the rest of the time:H

        I agree the heart burn stinks. Why not try a month af....give your bod time to rest and heal. Save some money too

        nat
        Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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          #5
          Inconsistent Abstainer

          For me, the big problem wasn't amounts, but daily drinking. I didn't realize how much it dragged me down each day. When I get to moderating, I think it will be by assigning an "hour" value to every drink. Starting with 24 hours. So 2 drinks would mean I have to be AL free for 48 hours. That way my body has time to fully recover, and insure my is natural sleep and not the boozy kind.

          But that will come after I finish making a clean break. Day 14 for me now, after 3 months of trying and slipping.

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            #6
            Inconsistent Abstainer

            Speedster- We could be twins. Oh it is so true that we are so skilled at hiding our disease - If the world really knew what was going on behind closed doors they would be shocked. I hope you come to a decision about what todo.

            I don't beat myself up about slip ups - I try to nip them in the but ASAP , so - I just looked- I had maybe 19 AL free days in October with intermittent slip ups. While at first I felt like a failure - I decided I would take any AL free days I could get and just try again next month.

            Boss Man - Thanks , i really like your 24 hour rule - I will use that if ever needed. You are right - Boozy sleep is about the worst sleep in the world! I used to know how drunk I had gotten based on the amount of clothes I woke up in - A true testiment to boozy sleep.

            Comment

              #7
              Inconsistent Abstainer

              Thanks to All! I appreciate your comments. I do like boss.man's idea of assigning a value. I've stocked up on sparkling water, ordered a restock of vitamins and kudzu extract.

              I will try one month of moderation and if I deviate from the plan I will have to go AF.

              I'm headed to the moderation forum to see what's up for November.

              Be proud of being AF! You're all wonderful folks.

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