AF Daily - Wed 12th November

[Janice]

Hope I've got the title right!!! Well, this is a first in a long time, me starting us off today! I'm grateful to be back here on this thread and grateful for all your support yesterday. It really helped and I managed to get Day 1 under my belt.

I've not been well the last few days - knocked off my feet, and have had to have some time off work. I'm sure the drinking has caught up with me and I'm very run down. This is the first time I've had to have time off because of my own doing and that hit home.

So I spent yesterday thinking a lot, being honest with myself about the last 5 months (where did that go??) and some stern talking to myself. I have my plan ready, I have my vits/supps ready (or I will have when I restock!); I'm looking at my diet (not as serious as you DG, but you've made me think about what I have been putting into my body so thank you!), and I will start swimming on Saturday when hopefully I'm feeling stronger.

Being ill has tripped that switch, I've had a bit of a fright. I'll probably talk more later about my time between June and now but thinking out loud I know I've been in denial and even last week thought "I'm okay, I'm not that bad" but looking at myself in the mirror right now tells me I'm not.

So, looking forward to Day 2. I'm stuck in the house too but whereas only a few days ago, that would have meant " a bottle in peace", the kettle will be on and there'll be a few good old cups of tea getting brewed.

Have a good day - looking forward to reading your posts.

Janicexxx

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Good morning, Janice!! It is so great to see you starting our thread today. Things just feel "right" with you back.

It sounds like you know what you have to do. Take care of the nutrition, take care of the exercise and take care of the thinking. That is one of the things that makes MWO work for so many. It is so much more than a single faceted approach.

And then there are all the wonderful people here.

As those days start piling back up, you know how much better you are going to feel mentally and physically. It is awesome, isn't it? It boggles my mind that we even consider choosing to drink again after we get there, but we do. That is why I keep coming back to MWO. I know I have to stay a little wary of my silly alcoholic brain. The good news is, I just accept that it happens, now and don't get depressed about it.

It is early here. I have had two of those days but last night I fell asleep at 7:00 so 3:00 a.m. just isn't bad at all!! However, I do hate having to be so quiet and make no noise or incur the wrath of hubby. :H:H

Hope all to come have a wonderful day!!

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Good morning and thank you Janice for getting us started today. Congratulations on surviving Day 1 and with a determined spirit to boot. LOL on the diet front - believe me I did not go from the Vodka and gummy bear diet to the way I eat now over night!! It's been rather gradual with one healthier choice leading to another. I haven't given my caffeine back up though. Not sure if I will. A girl's gotta have at least ONE vice, right? I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well, but so long as it's minor (hopefully??) and it caused you to re-think your relationship with alcohol, then maybe it's a blessing in disguise. But I hope you feel better soon! Will be thinking of you and also Mormon Mom on Day 2. WE CAN DO THIS!

Hi Cindi. How is your head/eye feeling today? I'm sure you have talked about the most recent diagnosis and prognosis and treatments but of course I missed that. If you don't feel like re-hashing it, but could point me to a place to catch up I would like that. Mean time I am sending positive thoughts your way for a job with no or little travel.

Welcome Speedster - saw your post on yesterdays thread. Even though I already knew my drinking was way too far out of control when I first came to MWO, like many others, I had to "experiment" to see if some sort of magic had magically occured that would change the world and I could drink moderately. LOL no such luck. What on earth did I think had changed....makes no sense. But AL makes no sense so there you have it. I stopped fighting as Chief always recommends, and life is so much easier keeping the booze thing simple - I just don't have any. Moderating seems like it would be so much more work - at least for someone like me. I would be fighting all the time. Sounds exhausting just thinking about it. Anyway...here I am writing another novel! Welcome and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Anyone want to start talking about plans for getting through the holidays AF? Don't know if there are already other threads on that topic but I figure it's appropriate for here too, right? I would love to hear everyone's strategies because even if I've heard them before, I'm getting old and forgetful. So I need reminders. I tend to get frustrated with all the feelings of family obligations through the holidays, so I'm sure that will lead to stinkin' thinkin' sometimes. I want to be ready!!! This will be my first sober holiday season since becoming an adult 29 - 18 years ago. (yeah right! :H)

Here are my usual strategies for social events:

1. Eat before I go - something protein / fat keeps cravings down and keeps me full longer. If I'm not having a regular meal, meat and cheese roll ups are an example of a good snack - and plenty of it.

2. Plan ahead of time what I will drink, and bring it with me where appropriate. (and sometimes even where not appropriate)

3. Have an exit strategy planned in advance - what time will we leave? If any "excuses" are necessary to support that exit strategy, have that planned in advance too. Even with strong cravings, I can do well if I can tell myself "only 1 hour - I can handle anything for only 1 hour".....etc.

What are your strategies and plans for a booze free holiday season?

DG

[Janice]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Hi DG,

I was really interested to hear you bring up social events and your tips for getting through them AF - I've already started thinking - no, worrying - about next weekend. We've got two couples coming to us for dinner and both sets are REALLY into their wine, i.e members of this that and the other wine clubs!!! One positive thing is that when we went to theirs - in May - I was AF and even though the husband really tried to persuade me to have just a sip of this really good wine, I resisted. There's no reason for them to know that I went back to the drink. I told them then that I don't drink anymore, the story is the same next weekend. I'm just going to have to be really strong early on in my sobriety.

I'm saying all this and even my hubby doesn't realise that I'm not drinking. I've got to get through this weekend first when he pours his usual 2-3 glasses Friday to Sunday night. I know I'll do it, right now I don't want AL anywhere near me.

love Janicexxx

[Glenno69]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

:new:As stated im new to this site i am going into day 57 of sobriety,feeling much stronger now than i have in along time so Janice you keep ya chin up and get well.

[Janice]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Thanks Glen and welcome, hope you've told your "story" here on MWO?? Look forward to your posts. Janicexxx

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Morning / afternoon everyone
Congratulations on getting through Day 1 - that's great - hopefully you'll soon start stringing them together like before - I feel day 1 is definitely the hardest. I'm now on day 10 AF (after my holiday relapse) and feeling OK physically although a bit depressed in myself (kids are hard work and getting me down - normally would self medicate at night to escape from it all). Last night I went swimming (42 lengths of 25m pool ) and felt better for it - kept me away from the booze too. i'll probably check in later this evening - have to take my daughter to gymnastics after school.
Have a good AF day everyone
sausage x

[charlee]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Morning all
Janice, thanks for starting the thread. Sounds like you have done some long hard thinking, and being honest with ones self was hard, but a turning point for me too. You mention where did the last 5 months go?..When this all finally clicked for me, I asked myself the same question, but I was wondering more about the past 25 years!!!...
Even while I was drinking I always took alot of vitamins and herbs on a regular basis, guess I figured I was "offsetting" something, not sure what.
I have accepted that I cannot drink, and embrace the fact I have been given a chance to make amends and just go forward. I like to keep it simple and do not put alot of thought or planning into my daily life. I am just choosing not to drink today.
Had a nice day yesterday, went to NYC to see the Radio City Music Show, my first time seeing the Rockettes.....
Welcome to all the new folks here on the daily abs thread, and great to hear from some that have been around a while.......Everyone have a great hump day!

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Hi everyone! I got a relatively late sleep-in this morning; my feline alarm clock didn't start hollering for her breakfast till 6am. Nice kitty. Sort of nice, anyway.

Way to go, Janice! How come you aren't telling your husband that you aren't drinking? Would it not be helpful to talk it over with him... or have you tried that, already? Is he not supportive?

Back during my years between AA and now, I lived with a partner who had a much worse drinking problem than mine; I ended up quitting drinking, myself, partly in support of her promise to quit, and partly because I knew I was drinking much more, just keeping up with her (she would ask: "can I freshen your drink?" and I would say "Sure."). So I got all the alcohol out of the house, and quit (but didn't go to AA or get any other support). It turned out she was lying about having quit, lying about going to AA, and she was hiding bottles. So, I decided to hell with it, and I started up again (wrong choice!).

So, I totally get it, about living with an alcoholic, and also about quitting without getting any support at home from partner or spouse. It is just very, very difficult. I think it is a circumstance that cries out for getting plenty of support, elsewhere (MWO, for example, but maybe AA or Al Anon or another recovery group, too).

Holidays: Christmas depresses the hell out of me, I just avoid the music, avoid the shopping, and avoid the parties. But this year I know I will need additional support of some sort, because usually I am either drinking (NOT this year!) or just toughing it out.

Hi Glenn, and welcome! And Hi! to everyone else!

wip

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Hi Everyone:

What a wonderful thread! Janice, I can't tell you how great it is to see you back. Charlee, you are so unassuming but inspirational, going into your second year of sobriety. I hold you in my heart as a role model. You do the footwork one day at a time but know that drinking will never be for you.

The holidays: Last year I did them sober, so I know it can be done. It wasn't until well after New Year (sometime in March) that I had a lapse. I just said "no" to drinking. Nobody argued or even noticed. I have a whole bunch of excuses:
-hot flashes
-insipient headache
-cold meds
-etc.
I've found that people don't really care. Once I get past the first few minutes of the host getting the drinks, I'm OK. I've trained myself to say:
-"I'll start w/a soft drink."
-"Nothing right now...I'll wait."
-etc.
In the case of drinking, procrastination is a very good thing. It eliminates the urge.

BTW, last year's holidays were the best I've ever experienced. I hadn't had sober holidays in many a year. I remembered everything afterward. I never had a hangover. So, this year, I'll keep all those good memories in the forefront of my mind. If I'm even tempted, I'll go back to long-past holidays when I blacked out half-way through.

I'm feeling strong today. I'm convinced the oral surgery went so well, because I was completely clear of any kind of poison in my system & was able to follow the doc's orders to the tee.

Love, Mary

PS: I'm so grateful to all of you here at MWO.
-

[christyacc]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Morning everyone....

I always use the 'trying to lose weight' line....which anyone who knows me, knows it isn't BS, so they leave me alone....also my dr -once I finally told her suggested to say that I was on medication that prevented me from drinking...no one wants to mess with that either.

To deal with the holidays, I will deal with each day as it comes.....I will not stress over it before hand. I know it's good to have a plan, but it's also not good to worry excessively. So, my plan is ODAT.

[Peacefull]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

Good Morning All,

Day 3 here and I haven't told anyone that I am going AF, afraid to fail....

Peace

[MormonMom]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

So here I am on a hotel computer. Replied to today's thread as usual, but when I went to send it I wasn't logged in. Once I logged in, I lost my whole reply. And I'm not writing again.
Bottom line: Feel great today; made it through Day 1 (Congrats 2 u 2 Janice); feeling confident about Day 2; Welcome Glenn; Charlee- I'm jealous that you got to see the Rockettes! How exciting!
Etc.etc.etc......Will check back in later. Ciao

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

I'm not too sure about the name change on this thread--I missed it! DOH!!!
Anyway, now there is so much good stuff on here I don't know where to start.

Cindi: I love you saying about grace--awesome!

Janice, my first thought after reading your post was that I hope you're giving your body a chance to rest and heal! Sleeping and "detoxing" our bodies has to ultimately help.

I am just tickled to see all of the familiar faces posting here. This has become my new favorite thread--now that I feel qualified to be here!

The holidays....it becomes SO EASY to become stress and overwhelmed that we forget what we're celebrating. The fricking toy commercials start in September now! I've already warned the kids that a good portion of their Christmas presents are in their mouth! (braces)
I like Christy's advice about not worrying about it too much ahead of time. But still having a plan. We are going to my sister in law's for her 50th and Thanksgiving (10 hour drive) and there will be lots and lots and lots of beer drinking and cigarette smoking. I keep telling myself it won't be so bad, but really kind of dreading it actually. Was hoping to get out of it, but can't let my fears get in the way of family. I'll probably gain weight because I'll be putting food in my face instead of alcohol and cigarettes. I haven't had a smoke since the last time we were together which was September 5th. Cannot afford to let that happen again!! Hopefully the weather will be decent so I can go for walks and hit the antique stores, and......go to bed early!
Anyway, I would hate to type a post longer than doggy girl's so I better quit for now!

Take care everyone!!:h

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Wed 12th November

LV, I'm with you. Planning for an anticipated challenging time is not at all the same as worrying about it. Worrying is not helpful; planning is essential!

When I see the phrase ODAT, I think its most useful interpretation has to do with the commitment not to drink, and the encouragement not to get all stressed about whether or not one needs to have a lifetime commitment to being AF. In AA, it means that one decides, One Day At a Time, not to drink, for today. And that can help us to stop worrying too much about the future (especially for those who, at the beginning of recovery, feel overwhelmed by the idea of quitting alcohol forever).

At the same time, however, we need to engage in good, effective planning... otherwise the challenging stuff hits us in ways we are not prepared to deal with...

Yeah it's great to see a lot of activity on this thread! Several folks have said the name change increases our profile... lots of members here had no idea what this thread was about, or even that it existed!

wip