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[1967]

well i've slipped up out of boredom really.
guess i better get myself back here, reading the boards daily to remind me of the reality of this 'little' problem i've created for myself.
i will fall back into the same patterns so easily if i am not careful.
i do know that i have come too far to go backwards now. I was af for almost 5 months... that is almost 1/2 the year. actually ... just looked at my calendar... i first messed up on 10/31.
the anniversary of my little dachshunds death.
i guess i will start counting from 1 but also record the days i had stopped.... maybe I can start counting from 124 days (10/30)... after this i drank four times.

so this would be day 1-131 af... does that sound fair?

and no, i didn't do anything stupid besides drinking wine, that was enough i suppose.
and i don't feel horrible about myself, i just don't want to fall back into bad habits.

[1967]

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this is day 1-125 af

[Doggygirl]

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Good for you getting back on the wagon. IMO more important than how you count it..... Have you thought about why you decided to drink and what you will do differently next time?

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. So easy to love and so hard to lose. Those anniversaries are sad days at our house for sure.

DG

[1967]

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i think it is for various reasons.
the anniversary of Lulu's death. the island dog i'd adopted was also poisoned... on 10/28... i watched her die.. brought back all kinds of bad stuff. then out of boredom as i've been working like crazy and not doing anything for fun. no time nor energy.
then i just dropped my guard. that simple. but it is amazing how alcohol just takes back control if u don't watch it!

[river0123]

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Count however you feel comfortable. I think you and I are very close in count (five months on 11/25). Within all that time I've had half a glass of wine and a few sips on one occasion. I guess I am counting a complete change in lifestyle and sobriety. I may have a sip here or there, but I do not plan to ever get drunk or even buzzed again. That's what matters in my count.

[1967]

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sounds good. this site really is important w/me and staying on track. i will make sure to check in 2x per day... morning and evening.
starting again....

[startingover]

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1967 well done for getting back so quickly. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. That must have been such a painful experience.

[Seacailin]

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Glad you are here 1967. I have had slip ups myself, but I have had more AF days over the last four months than I have had in the last four years, and I am please with that.

[1967]

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seacailin... i will look at it as you said... i've had far more af days than drinking days in the last 5 months.
loosing another dog to poison is just aweful.
the first time it happened i turned to booze... for almost 5 full years!
i can't do that again... i just can't.
and yes... it was because of the dog.. it was just too much for me to cope with.
my living situation is not so fun just now either.
i've been feeling quit depressed lately as well.
i can't give myself a week-end off in a hotel somewhere because of money.
however i do have a lot to be grateful for and i just need to try and focus on this.
in a couple of years i will have a lot more freedom because of the sacrifices i am making now.
but the now is still REALLY annoying.

[Janice]

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1967....its what happens afterwards thats important and it sounds to me that you still have your sobriety. Good for you!!! Janicexxx

[1967]

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thanks guys.... am home for the night all safe and sound.
i guess the key is to not let one's guard down.
am feeling a bit under the weather... need to rest!

[startingover]

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1967 when I lost my dog through cancer, my drinking spiralled out of control...totally understand that grief. Take care of yourself

[Doggygirl]

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Hi again. I think you brought up something really important when you mentioned that you work a lot, and maybe don't have a lot going on that is just for fun. One of the things I picked up out of the SMART recovery program is the importance of what they call Vital Absorbing Creative Interests. For me, drinking consumed all of my non-work time, and I really lost sight of any hobbies or other interests. I've been trying different things and who knows what "groove" I will end up in but that is something to think about on the "boredom" front.

Best wishes and I'm so sorry again about your doggies. That breaks my heart...

DG