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**Tom 4.0** · November 21, 2008, 05:54 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Good morning one and all!

Cinders - Yes, it certainly is good to awake without a headache

Doggygirl - Tom 3.0 does not have the Beast additive that was the fundamental change that led to the development of Tom 2.0. The Beast additive was thought to enhance operating speed and performance, but was prone to repeated system crashes. We believe by removing that additive, Tom 3.0 will be a much more stable and productive operating system.

What "Tom 3.0" truely represents is my belief that I am in the third major section of my life; before alcohol, during alcohol, and now, after alcohol.

**speedster** · November 21, 2008, 06:04 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Good morning to all you Abbers! It?s Friday, yay!

Yesterday?s thread was really busy. I don?t have anything thought provoking, just another good day on the AF challenge. Today, I?m going to work on my goals for the weekend and next week. I?m looking forward to the long holiday break.

DG and Spotty -- I too envy the well stocked freezer. We have two fridges and I worked a little harder this year to stock the one freezer stocked with farmers market produce - corn, green beans, peaches, blueberries, and broccoli. I bought one of those vacuum sealers and it helps tremendously -reducing the size of the bags and it stays fresher. I did some water-bath canning this summer and hope to borrow a pressure canner next year. I shopped at the farmers market every Saturday this year and next year my plan is to grow more of my own veggies. I?m going to a gardening workshop this Sunday.

Cinders -- I hope today is another headache-free day and you find a long-term solution sooner than later. I send you positive thoughts.

Spotty and Greenie - my 2.5 year old is a rescue. At 7 months old he?d never seen stairs or been on a leash. 2 years later he?s competing in agility. I need to send the shelter he came from a note with pictures and a donation this holiday. I?m coming up on his 2-yr adoption anniversary. The guys at work were teasing me because I have pictures of my dog but not my husband. I finally brought one in of hubby but there are still more dog pics. I must say the dog is more photogenic. Lol?..

Spotty and Sausie -- I like the orange or lime flavored waters as well. I?m not a soda drinker. Tonic is another favorite but a little more calories than I like to have.

Janice, what?s on the menu for Saturday?s dinner?

Hey Tom, I like the Tom 3.0 description. I started a post one morning at the same time someone else did. It's nice to know someone else is awake and thinking about MWO.

**Guest** · November 21, 2008, 06:17 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Hello all,
You know, I"m such a tough nosed abstinence person that its hard for me to say some things without it being taken wrong. I never thought I'd end up this tough about it.. but really I had to cos otherwise I"m fooling myself.

I was reflecting today on stuff.. and I remember at one stage thinking (even to googling about it) about what a liver death might look like. Thats freaky stuff and what I read about did not sound nice, I can say. So glad that crap is behind me now.

If I may, I think how we think about things makes such a difference. Our language and how we speak to ourselves in our heads is huge. There is a massive difference between saying 'I'm going to try my best to xxx' and 'No matter what I"m going to do whatever it takes to do xxx'.

One thing that I think is vital is that recovery is a whole of body approach. Body, mind, soul. Its not enough to be sober and miserable. You have to be sober, healthy, fit and happy. Its ok, I'm not delusional about this.. life may not be perfect and I cant fly (yet) but I"ll be damned if I"ll give up on myself.

so there.
Brigid

**charlee** · November 21, 2008, 08:48 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Brigid….I am finding my sobriety has brought a no nonsense, toughness that I never knew I had… Our self language and attitude is key IMO…..Try is not in my vocabulary when it comes to AL….Choice and commitment are used frequently….Thank you for sharing
.
I was just sharing with a friend a blip I read in one of my magazines……The title was “Feel good when life gets tough”…The example given was, Your boss asks you to work late and it’s your only free Friday night. Instead of complaining about the extra hours we say to ourselves “I get to work an earn a paycheck” . When facing unpleasant tasks, most of us harp on the idea of “having” to do something. Making a simple word swap from “I have to” to “I get to” can flip an unpleasant situation into one you can appreciate…..

Eveyone to follow, have a great day…

**retteacher** · November 21, 2008, 09:24 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Hi Everyone: I love reading about the power of positive thinking. I also liked reading about the before, during, & after AL life. I'm in the after no matter what! I'm having a huge crowd of relatives for Thanksgiving & want to apply the positive thinking to that. It's all family, plenty of kids, everyone is helping, & we'll have unforgettable memories. I'm not going to let stress upset my sobriety. There's no reason to feel stressed. I can take it as one wonderful day of fun (instead of all-day work). It' doesn't have to be perfect. Take care & I'll check back later. Mary

**A Work in Progress** · November 21, 2008, 09:29 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Good morning, everyone! Brigid, thanks for your post (and you too, Charlee!)!. I needed to hear that. I have been struggling with this site since... well, ever since I got here. When I arrived at the doorstep of MWO I was desperately frightened about where my alcohol use was taking me... where I was taking MYSELF with the drinking. I was drinking like my father did, and he ended up walking out the back door one night and shooting himself. I absolutely knew that I could not drink moderately, and I knew that determination and commitment were key to success. I was here a LOT, I and posted a lot... and I quickly found that I had alienated a lot of people here on MWO, and some of them still find ways to make it clear that they do not appreciate me, or my approach. It has been very, very discouraging, sometimes, and sometimes outright hurtful.

It's funny, in a way (and I think this is part of what you were saying): in some ways, I sound like a prude! And if you knew me, and my life, you would know that "prudish" is NOT the way I am... "bookish," maybe, but not prudish. But where alcohol is concerned, for people who have the kind of serious dependence that most people here have... I think it is a deadly serious matter. And the way we talk about it... the language we use... is NOT trivial or unimportant. Our language both reflects and influences our thinking... and it is the mental ("thinking") game that is sometimes primary in this struggle (because our brains/minds are the source of our emotions, our behaviors, and our impulses).

And so I am horrified by the half-hearted "I hope I don't drink tonight" approaches to recovery from serious alcohol dependence that so many here have, and by the casual attitude toward what are called "slips." And I am mystified by the many people here who stay around here for years, never mentioning their own progress (or lack of progress) with their alcohol problems.

I'm doing fine with my own program of recovery, and MWO was, in the early days, a big part of it. I hope it can continue to be. I hope to continue to be a presence here for my own benefit and the benefit of others, as well. This thread has been a good place for a lot of people to get support for engaging in a serious recovery program, and it seems to be getting livelier and even more effective, lately. I think that's fantastic!

wip

**caysea** · November 21, 2008, 09:40 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Hi All
Brigid that is exactly the mind set that is needed if you expect to be successful. No I don't think you have to hard a stance in regards to your dealing with al.It is the same approach I have taken because as we know it is a matter of life or death.I at times don't give advice because I don't want to be a shoulder to cry on.No I am not going to wish you luck to stop drinking.I am going to tell you it is hard f^%$ hard and prepare yourself .It is not only about stooping your drinking but reinventing your lifestyle and finding enjoyment in some aspect of life that is not al. The way you talk to yourself about al is a very big influence on your success.I am not a drinker period. No other thoughts about what I can and can't do with al comes into play it is not an option.Non smokers don't just have one same applies to me and drinking.One thing I think AF's have to be aware of on this site in their beginning of sobriety is the many references to people still drinking.I am not getting into the Mod vs AF position but it is not helpful to you to be reading about mod when you are in th beginning of your fight .Be careful it will convince you you can mod.I think all of us AF had that illusion.
Well I just twisted my knee getting off the soap box.The weekend is coming go over your plan and stick to it.No body makes us drink it is our choice.Make the smart choice.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

**LVT25** · November 21, 2008, 09:50 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Wow, alot to absorb this early in the day!! What i love about this forum is coming here and hearing about everyone else's interests, hobbies, exercise routine, events, troubles, sorrows, joys achievements and also plenty of education and insight!!!! Love it!!

DG, I could possibly be considered somewhat of a home preservation "expert". At least I should be as long as I've been at it!:H I grow a pretty big garden, next year I'm hoping to market some of my stuff locally. My pride and joy this year were my Walla Walla onions the size of very large grapefruits. My mouht is watering hearing you describe the beef and pork you are stocking your freezer with. I'm sorry, but I could never be a vegetarian! Being a farm girl, borna nd raised, and living on one almost my entire life I became spoiled with the home-raised meat. When I was working at the vet clinic our boss was very generous about giving us beef for bonuses. Now we sell all of our calves and not many pigs in the area so I've been buying meat in the grocery store for some time now. I think I might check with some of my "cattle friends" and see what I can come up with. BTW--ham hocks make wonderful ham and bean soup!!

I absolutely agree with a HUGE portion of successful recovery is in our minds--retraining the brain. I'm working harder on that. When I quit smoking I did not want to be one of those people that said they missed it every day of their life. I wanted to be one of those that after a certain length of time it disgusts them like a normal person. It can be done. It works the same for alcohol. I think there will always be people that don't really give this program (or any other for that matter) their all. But I don't let it affect mine. I feel bad for them.

I better move on. Have a great day everyone!!:h

**charlee** · November 21, 2008, 10:01 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

WIP
I have always enjoyed reading whatyou have to say. I am a bottom line, give it to me straight kinda person...sometimes I just need to hear what I already know. Kudos to you for speaking your mind. I am more of a lurker, always have been since joining this site. At the beginning I could not see myself as a long term abstainer, just to overwhelming so I focused on posts from those so wanting to get this right, but kept falling back into this abyss. I learned what not to do, think or say.......I saw the obstacles that were getting in the way of so many. Knowing me, if I was not ready to fully commit, knowing what lie ahead I might as well keep drinking. I would fail.....
I have tried to keep it simple, I hold nothing or no one responsible for my sobriety. I make the choices. Glad to have your input on the abs thread. Thanks

**on my way** · November 21, 2008, 10:28 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Morning all,

I agree our recovery is serious business. I also understand we each have a differing approach to it. I may have an all too casual attitude about my 2 slips but I see them as progress. The only other times I?ve had so many sober days in a year is while I was pregnant.

I have always had to concentrate on not going over board with al. In the last 10 years my life has presented me with a very unique circumstance and my drinking escalated. I realize this and want a change in my habits, not my life. We all seem to have differing reasons driving us to remain sober?.. Mine are; I am a better mom, wife and caregiver while I am in the here and now. I am afraid of my physical health declining. I like the way I feel and look when not drinking.

It is not my place to judge another, that?s Gods job. My job is to support progress, realization and personal growth. Words can not express the gratitude I have for those here who have given me support and encouragement unconditionally.

Dg, I am really excited about your garden. The first of many seed catalogs arrived in my mail box yesterday. Can?t wait to start pouring over them.

Tom, I love your op systems approach?.I wish I was that creative.

Brigid and WiP, never feel badly about expressing your opinion or what works for you. If you help 1 person it is well worth it. We all learn by example and you are both fine ones at that!! The bottom hard line; you are here to achieve or maintain your sobriety, keep on keeping on.

Have a wonderful day all

nat

**A Work in Progress** · November 21, 2008, 10:31 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

LV: yeah, ham hocks are always in my freezer for soups, beans, etc.!

Thanks Charlee... yeah, we each have our own way of using and benefiting from this site. I find it important to say some things "out loud," because it helps me to enhance my level of commitment to the things I am saying. Putting it out there also makes me feel I am responsible for acting on it, or living it.

But I think that speaking out strongly can feel, or be received, as judgmental to some others. I think that of all the people I've known here at MWO, the ones who do the best jobs at being very plain-spoken, and no-nonsense, without ever being or seeming judgmental, are DG and WonderWorld. I strive to be more like them in the way they write their posts.

wip

**A Work in Progress** · November 21, 2008, 10:33 AM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Cross-posted, OMW. I don't see you as "too casual" at all. None of us is perfect at this; the key is to be committed and to remain committed to learning what works, and what does not work so well... you are a great model and example of how to do that...

**spottydingo** · November 21, 2008, 01:19 PM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Hiya everyone,

DG, Thanks again for posting the thyroid website. I read through it yesterday as well as a few others, and found I have 90% of the symptoms(!!!) and may well have Hashimoto's disease. I forwarded it to my sister and mother, both on synthroid, who also have a lot of
the symptoms. Amazing! Made an appt with my doctor for Tuesday and will go armed with the list of tests. If she won't listen to me I found 2 other doctors nearby who I will try. It would be SO amazing if the way I feel on a daily basis was due to something I could fix. I have been assuming the general crappiness was due to the AL cycle, years of drinking, being overweight, and general aging. Will let you know what happens.

RE: pig and cow! Thats so exciting. When you get the cow make sure you get the ox tails if they offer them. I have some great recipes for oxtail stew that I can send you. It is a bit fatty (like short ribs) but super yummy on a cold winter night. Can you give dogs raw pork? The dingo has been on raw diet for over a year now and I've never seen or read any mention of pork, so I was never sure if it was safe for them.

To all those canners and preservers and gardeners out there, I will be talking to you next summer!!!

Including you, Speedster. Wow, it sounds like you made quick progress with your pup. My Dingo (I call him that because he's an Australian Cattle Dog AKA Queensland Heeler mix and very spotty) is also a rescue, but he came with major behavior issues and we did so much work with him to just be able to take him out in public that it exhausted me for the first 2 years (we've had him for 3 years now, he's about 4-5 years old). For the first year I cried all the time thinking I'd have to put him down -- he bit a neighbor -- but he's much much better now.

When we adopted him he was like your dog, didn't even know what a toy or ball was, poor guy. We still have to be careful with him as he's extremely protective and doesn't like strangers, but I've learned to work around his issues and am able to take him places, even doggie daycare (he's most reactive when my husband or I are with him). Part of his problem (and charm) is that he's so dang smart and he reads me like a book -- so I always thought he'd do well at agility or herding. Not necessarily for competition, just for fun.

Tom, I love your product description of Tom 3.0.!!! He sounds vastly improved over previous versions. What will be included with 3.0.1?

WIP, I love your posts and I always read them. I appreciate that you put it out there and there have been times I have needed to hear something akin to a wake up call. I know my language sometimes is self-pitying and my stated determination less than solid but that is why I keep coming back here. I am "retraining my brain" like LVT25 says, and I need to work on that harder, but I am making progress and you are among the people I have to thank for helping me to do that.

That being said, I'm thinking about telling my parents at Christmas about my AL issues but it scares me on many levels. They know I have a problem but don't nearly know the extent of my drinking over the years. I wouldn't go into it all with them, just tell them I've quit. Or, maybe me not drinking while I'm there for the week will be enough. My biggest fear in a way is that mentioning anything will shine their laser focus on my husband and his drinking, and that my mother will blame him somehow for my issues (as she tends to do).

My sister and her husband will also be there, and having both of our husbands at my parents house tends to put my mother on the warpath after a few days. Neither of them live up to her expectations of who her daughters should have married, but then anyone short of John F Kennedy wouldn't!!! Holidays are the best and the worst, aren't they?

Cheers!

**Miss Behaving** · November 21, 2008, 01:54 PM

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Morning all .... Saturday here and I'm feeling a bit bushed after a 14 hour work day yesterday that also involved lots of travelling.

Tom 3.0 - loved that description and trust you wont need further upgrades.

We use ham hocks a lot for soup in winter - particularly with barley ans split peas in the slow cooker. But last year I made a really nice Xmas terrine with one as most of my family dont eat a lot of meat. I'm going to make it again this year as a whole ham is too big for us, but its nice to have a little bit around.

My brain is too tired to respond to some of the substantive posts! I'm heading off dfor a run and a swim, so I'll read them all again in more detail later once I've woken up a bit more!

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