AF daily - Sunday 28th December

[Marshy]

Wakey, wakey people! Stir your stumps. I suppose it's still early in the States, but I've been up on and off since 4am! My sleeping patterns are all over the place at the moment.

So, the whole New Year's Eve thing. I haven't yet decided whether to go out as planned dosed up on Antabuse (which works for me because I would never "test" it) or stay at home and hide under the bed. I'm certainly not feeling strong enough at the moment to go out on such a boozy night without Antabuse.

I'm finding Christmas/New Year much more difficult than I thought it would be. It's not so much that I *want* to drink, just that it's in my head most of the time, and it's that time of year when even fairly moderate drinkers go a bit crazy. Anyway, at least it's in my face and I know it's there and I have to fight, rather than it sneaking up on me unawares.

Well, I was thinking I might go to the gym, but maybe I'll sit here for a while longer eating nuts and chocolates. Oh, come on, I can't just throw them out now Christmas is over!

DG - I hope you manage to get out of the house before the spring thaw!
Wip - the Florida pix are gorgeous. Have you thought about renting your house out to MWOers looking for a bit of peace and tranquility? You'd make a fortune!

Happy day to all to come!

[Loppy lugs]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Morning Marshy,

I've only been up since 7.30. I would love to have slept in but am waiting for comet to deliver a washing machine between 8 and 6! Isn't just waiting stressful. Mind you not as stressful as Xmas Eve with water all over the kitchen floor was. I sobbed.

I have avoided the drinking at Xmas by avoiding people. Which being childless and single is perfectly possible, as long as you tell a few white lies along the way.

I have now been AF for almost 7 months and it is certainly a lot easier than it was in the beginning but I stopped taking antabuse at the start of the month because I felt that 6 months was long enough.

I have a supply in case things get too difficult but am hopeful.

Ooh here they are

[retteacher]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Hi Marshy & Loppy: We were invited to a dress-up New Year's Eve bash. My husb didn't want to go, & I knew that there would be a lot of drinking, even among the normal drinkers. No reason to tempt fate.

I've been AF & really getting into it. I've been going to 12 step meetings which helps along w/MWO. Since I've stopped drinking, I'm finding that issues are coming out between my husb & myself. I guess that's bound to happen, since drinking just prolongs the interim between problem & solution. No big fights...just some serious discussions. You'd think that after 37 years, everything would be worked out, but that's usually not the case.

A big hello to everyone to come.

DGirl: I went to the blogs here but don't know how it works. Anyhow, let me know what you decide.

Cindi: I hope all is well w/you.

Mary

[SAUSAGE]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Hello there Marshy, Loppy and Mary - and everyone else still to come
Computer is still working although Mr sausage plans to take it to bits and fit another mother board later so not sure whether it will ever work again - am not confident he knows what he's doing! Not much news but thought i'd better check in in case I can't later.

Went swimming 8am (40 lengths) and then out with the kids on their new bikes AGAIN - so plenty of exercise today - weather bright sunshine but v cold and frosty. Am still working on new year resolutions etc. Regarding new year - i've never been a big one for going out on NYE parties etc, but it is still possible to have a fun / relaxing time at home - and do whatever you want - make it a bit special because of the occasion, but still AF of course!

Hope to check back later - have a good day everyone!

[Beck]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Hi everyone!

I've managed to sail through the holidays AF. And I have plans for New Year's but I'm not really concerned about drinking then. BUT, AL calls me loudly when my girls are away. They are gone today and tomorrow and so yesterday I got to hear the addicted voice telling me to make a run to the liquor store (they are closed today). The voice only lasted about 20 minutes but I was surprised by its intensity.

Tells me that I need to refocus my sobriety on me. So much of my focus has been not letting my girls see me drinking/drunk again. AL certainly still knows when I'm weak.

Marshy, I think the antabuse is a good choice (some of the "pull" you are feeling now may be because you had that lapse recently).

Hi Mary and Loppy!

[A Work in Progress]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Hi everyone... quiet here, not much of anything to report... I'm feeling so much calmer and more relaxed now that Christmas is over; the sense of dread is gone. New Year's Eve and Day have none of the same baggage for me that Christmas does, so I am not worried about that one, at all. I used to get drunk on NY Eve, of course, but then I got drunk just about anytime. It's not a big trigger for me, fortunately... I don't have friends who throw, or expect, big drinking bashes.

Marshy, now that's a good idea about the Florida place, I could make it into an AF retreat house!

Sausage, good luck with the computer! I agree, it sounds dicey!

Hi Mary, LL! Great on nearly 7 months, LL! Mary, yes, not drinking does open some emotional boxes that had been kind of moldering in the dust, doesn't it? Sounds as if you are dealing with them very well... I know it's difficult...

I hope everyone has a nice Sunday...

[A Work in Progress]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Hey, Beck! Nice to see you here!

[brittzak]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Had a nightmare from hell lastnight was terrible. My son, he is 10, was mad at me for drinking Vodak...which I rarely did in real life...wine was my poison...AND he never was my child to get mad...my daughter was. He is to young to really get mad about it. She isn't!!! Anyway, I woke-up really upset and realized...just a dream...all is good, I am still sober and they are tucked in their beds. I laid there for awhile and the thought of alcohol digusted me. I made myself think about taking a drink and the taste of it and it made me sick. I have been keeping a journal of all these ill feeling to read when I get the URGY ones...cause I feel I will at some point......we always do....I have learned alot in my quest and fight for sobriety I am not a newbie at this. Each day I do feel stronger and mentally the longer I am away from alcohol I feel myself becoming more and more stable as well. My alcoholic mind is WHACKO....I can admit that. I get suicidally depressed, mean, hateful, I hate myself so of course I hate everyone in my path...I dont have rational thoughts...I am not capable of them under the influence. ALL the more reason to remain SOBER!!!!!

[Accountable for Me]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Good morning!

I feel much more rested today after all of the hype that Christmas brings. Thank goodness. Today, I am going to embrace the shopping mall (UGH) and have my daughter's Sleeping Beauty DVD exchanged. The stupid thing doesn't work and it cost $32 bucks - so I want a refund or a new one!

As many of you, New Years parties aren't a big deal for me. I haven't been out on New Years for many years now - so no biggie. I don't even stay up until Midnight, LOL.

I think that I even may look for the book 'Quitting Drinking' by Allen Carr today. I have heard both good and bad things about this book, so I am curious as to what it says. I need something to read, so why not?!

Must go and get motivated. Have a great day everyone!

[BridgetJones1998]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Good morning all!
Hi Marshy - my sleep is all messed up as well. Day 13 AF for me. Hope this all works itself out. Used to sleep 9 hours, doubt it was real "good" sleep as I was passed out from AL. Always tired. At least I don't feel tired even though I'm not sleeping!
Loppy - Congrats on 7 months! That is awesome. I had a rough day yesterday. I hope those are few and far between. Keep it up.
Sausage - What is it with men and computers. My hubby ruined out Christmas eve on the computer with someone in India until 8pm trying to solve a problem with my daughter's wireless computer not going online (he knows nothing ...REALLY... about computers), missed dinner, he was obsessed.... almost like could focus on nothing else ... like me when I was drinking! He did finally get it fixed. But I was p/o'd. He apologized, I forgave, b/c I wanted a nice sober eve, so we drank hot chocolate by the fire and watched a movie together with our daughter.
Beck - Heard the voice yesterday myself, very LOUDLY, and also surprised by the intensity. Managed to fight it off. The first real temptation I have experienced in 13 days. Just goes to show, the beast will continue to rear it's ugly head at any time. We must always be on guard and have some "tools" at hand to fend him off!
WIP - Glad to hear you are doing well. Love the photos of Florida. What a wonderful place to go to for some sunshine to restore some seratonin levels!!!
Brizz - sorry about your nightmares. I was having some early on. Hope they are gone.
AFM- Good luck at the mall. Hopefully crowds aren't too bad! Someone online mentioned that book by Allen Carr to me. I, also, have heard good and bad. Don't know if you are aware, but Roberta Jewel has a reading list on "listmania" on Amazon.com. Just go to the listmania section and type in her name and she has 20 books that she recommends. I ordered about 6 of them. Some on alcohol, a few novels, some on becoming a better you. They should arrive this week for me. I'll let you know if I read a good one.

Have a great day everyone!!

[Cinders]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Hello Everyone,

I haven't been able to log in or check up due to family being here and no time to myself.

Still working on the depression issue but it is much relieved.

It is good to see everyone is doing so well, got past Christmas and heading into the NY without a lot of worries.

Sending out hello to all, have to run so can't address personally, but know I am thinking of all of you and so glad to have you "on my side" through this recent struggle.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Happy Sunday everyone!

Boy yesterday turned out to be quite a day here. The ice was SO bad at 6:45AM I couldn't get out of my driveway (barely out of the garage before I got stuck), even though it was 52 degrees and thunderstorming! While there was the most treacherously slick ice we've ever had in the driveway, the rains were so bad that water was POURING into our basement. Then the power went out which happens at the drop of a hat around here. Most people would be scared that it was considered an "emergency" outage due to dangling wires. We rejoiced, because that meant we would have some sort of priority to get it back on. (we've been without power here for a week before - thankfully not in the winter!) Then there were tornado and flood warnings. GEEZ. We were waiting next for the volcano and earthquake warnings (in Illinios) then all the weather bases would have been covered!!!! Whew. Glad to be moved on to a new day!

I ended up spending most of the day reading a novel - most of my reading lately has been of a more serious nature. The only problem is that I'm really in the mood for a TRASHY novel and this one isn't cutting the mustard in the trashy department. So please please...I need some recommendations!!!

Sausage - I'm LOL about Mr. Sausage and the computer project. Mr. Doggy works on computers for a living so he's really good at it, but he often thinks he is JUST as good at other things (when he's not). That's always an interesting combination of scary / funny. I'm jealous you got to go swimming. I'm glad I made it to Curves Friday afternoon because I couldn't get out of the driveway yesterday morning, and they are closed today and of course were closed Christmas. I think that's the first time since May 22 I've only had 4 workouts in one week except when we went on vacation.

WIP and Deter, I bought a couple of books awhile back ("For Dummies books of course!) about blogging but haven't cracked the covers. One of them is a general type book, and the other is for WordPress. Any thoughts on that? (Wordpress)

Mary I love your resolutions! I also think it's great that you are working on more communications with Mr. Mary and others. I know you've said over time that it's hard for you....glad you are doing it and getting good results!

WIP - after yesterday I have unexpected lakefront property too. By tomorrow it will be a private skating rink and ice fishing resort. I will have to get a picture! Hey if you start the MWO Florida Retreat, count me in!

Loppy it's great to see you as always! Congratulations on almost 7 months sober and a new washing machine. (I would have been a bucket of tears on Xmas eve with a leaking washer!)

Marshy - I think you are wise not to test the antabuse! The leader of my SMART face to face group is just the sort of person who pushes every boundary. He was on antabuse for a time "way back when" and DID test it. He says it works exactly as described. Maybe even better than described. So definitely take some if you go out NY Eve and heed that warning!

Hi Beck!!! I think you are right that no matter where/how we start on this journey, we have to find a way to end up being sober for ourselves first. As you probably know I harbor a little concern that part of my sobriety is based on my sobriety agreement with Mr. Doggy. I have to make sure that I closely examine things and make sure that MY sobriety just for me is #1.

Britt - those dreams are unsettling! Glad it was just a dream and you are doing so well!

Bridget congrats on Day 13! Not sleeping well is very common and should right itself. If more than a month or so goes by and it doesn't, you might be like me and be at a "time of life" where hormones are out of balance. I now take bio-identical progesterone and estrogen and HOLY MOLY what a difference a little bit of hormones have made in my life!!!! Mean time, Valerian Root gave me some help. Melatonin seems to work for some - it gave me bad dreams. Thanks for the amazon book list suggestion. I love looking around at amazon and then occassionally showing enough restraint to go to the library instead of the "one click" button!

Cindi, it's good to see you checking in.

Well, I'm going to resist the temptation to goof off on-line all afternoon, and go read more of that not trashy enough novel! Have a great day everyone.

DG

[Determinator]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Happy Sunday ABadingos far and wide!

Maryshy, thanks for the kickstart

Beck great to see you and congrats on your AF time

Bridget thanks for the Amazon tips...most interesting

DoggyGirl, sorry, dunno about 'wordpress'...? my next nerdly exploit will be to learn "final cut Pro" which is a fancy/expensive video editing program that just happened to come with this computer. Perhaps I'll do my own youtube video soon? hmmmmm. is the world ready for Det movies???!!!

well, off to keep cleaning and organizing in preparation for NY's eve party. Can't wait to get back to my jiu jitsu class tomorrow night.

be well friends and all to come......

[greeneyes]

AF daily - Sunday 28th December

Wowee I had a good day! I was sort of set for chores and a GF called and a mutual GF was in town and wanted me to meet for a movie. I abandoned the newspaper and list of chores and we went to see "Doubt" and then to have coffee. I'm not much of a coffee drinker since I quit caffeine but I had a sarbucks peppermint white chocolate mocha decaf something or other and it was really good! It was so nice out we sat outside and just chatted. Then we decided to go out to dinner. Chatted some more, discected the movie then got into an interesting conversation about religious beliefs. A really lovely day. They had wine with dinner and I was really surprised at how little you get for how much it costs. And it was half price happy wine hour or something. It occurred to me that I was unaware not because of the passage of 6 months, but because my life w/ estranged one had become so bizzare in the last couple years that I had become quite isolated. I did drink alone mostly, but I was already alone. If I did go to a bar, I went alone. When I feel like this, it's hard for me to believe that I have moments when I actually want to drink. The mind is an interesting thing, isn't it.