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Kid Shelleen
December 29th, 2008, 02:36 PM
There, let's begin again! I'll bring the PACT list forward...
~Kid~

Kid Shelleen
December 29th, 2008, 02:39 PM
I Cross My Heart...P.A.C.T

* "Cross my heart,and hope to die;Stick a needle in my eye.."
* Phrase uttered by children after making a promise to indicate the depth of their sincerity: the speaker is so committed to the action just agreed to that they offer self-inflicted pain and a death wish as proof of their seriousness.
(Must be accompanied by a gesture of drawing a imaginary "X" across the speaker's own heart, or else it doesn't count.)
Mod Pacts INVITATIONS:
>>Eve11 and Kid: AF Friday 12/26(check)
>>St John, Kid: Friday(check) and Saturday(check)
Ask,Sara,St J: Monday,Tuesday
Eve: promises just 3 drinks New Years Eve,2 drinks other times



Use this form or start a new thread
for any pacts you want to start.
ANYONE ELSE??


ModSquad:
Vera-b,Lila,Sunbeam,Kid,Jamms,Ask for Help,
St John,KeepWalking, DeeBee,Sara,Periwinkle,Eve,
LookingToGrow,Vlad,Trixietrack,StartingOver,
Zed,One2many,(Cyclefan,Zeppie,Gyco,WIP, and Tawnyfrog visit)

Kid Shelleen
December 29th, 2008, 03:00 PM
This morning's post's on yesterday's thread...

This Morning's posts on last weeks thread!!
:HAnd on a "creative thread" by KW called "week of December 20th!!:H

Sunbeam
December 29th, 2008, 03:35 PM
Thanks, Kid, for not being too proud to fix a small error (that would make some people nuts)!:H

Kid Shelleen
December 29th, 2008, 04:11 PM
Want me to fix THAT one too??

HeeHee...

Sunbeam;505434 wrote: Thanks, Kid, for not being too proud to fix a samll error (that would make some people nuts)!:H

Sarasmiles
December 29th, 2008, 05:32 PM
Hey Squad,
5:26 and I'm sipping herbal tea. My Kudzu came in the mail today, which was good timing, since whether or not it works chemically, it helps psychologically for sure...(and maybe it works chemically, I'm not sure). Anyway, I am definitely commited to the pact, for tonight and tomorrow night.

It's been a busy day of playing with kids. After our friends canceled our New Year's Eve plans, I gave myself the day off from housework and decided to put a lot of time into building a Star Wars Lego set with my littlest guy, doing mock "Olympics" with the middle son, and playing Rummy 500 with the eldest. Just the ticket for today, and I am less depressed. Tonight we have big plans to watch "Toy Story" - one of my favorites. So, I have a feeling of being "on the mend". No cravings so far tonight, and I think we'll have an early dinner to head off any thoughts of soothing the soul with wine. Best wishes to all. Later. Sara

Kid Shelleen
December 29th, 2008, 05:43 PM
I LOVE "Toy Story"!!!

http://yepyep.gibbs12.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/toy_story_ver1.jpg

Sunbeam
December 29th, 2008, 06:23 PM
Kid,
You got me! I tell people that you can't avoid mistakes in life, you just have to be good at fixing them!

Lila
December 29th, 2008, 07:45 PM
hi Modders
Hey Sara - was it the MTT federation something - with all the droids?? I helped a little - could have helped more...
These days are fleeting....
:)
Lila

Sarasmiles
December 29th, 2008, 08:33 PM
Hi Modders...
Lila...I'm drawing a blank...MTT federation? :confused: :)

It feels so good to have had an evening without alcohol. Lovely time with the kids, and now their dad's putting them to bed, and I have a moment to say hello. It wasn't hard not to drink tonight, even when my husband made himself a Manhattan at 5:00. I felt so lousy about exceeding my limits of late, I really didn't want to touch the stuff tonight. :yay:

Looking forward to hearing from the other modders soon, as we all settle in post-holidays. Take care everyone.

Ask For Help
December 29th, 2008, 09:23 PM
HI all:
Checking in after the holidays. Was glad to go back to work today and have a bit more structure. Back on my eating routine and enjoying my 2nd AF day of 3. Planned to go to a spin class tonight but worked late instead, and that felt productive in its own way. Just need to work some exercise into the mix again to get back on track.

This was my first modding Christmas and I really just took the week "off". Not worrying or counting. Just keeping things 'in control". I got weary of both eating and drinking, although I didn't majorly overdo either . . . just a little too much each day adds up and I want to get back to feeling more fit and healthy.

Looking forward to thinking through goals for 2009. . . they will be less alcohol and weight focused since that was my work for 2008. . . time to think "bigger thoughts" about what to do with the "new me". Will be in touch.

Best to all.

Ask

Kid Shelleen
December 29th, 2008, 10:11 PM
Cross my heart....P.A.C.T.

* "Cross my heart,and hope to die;Stick a needle in my eye.."
* Phrase uttered by children after making a promise to indicate the depth of their sincerity: the speaker is so committed to the action just agreed to that they offer self-inflicted pain and a death wish as proof of their seriousness.
(Must be accompanied by a gesture of drawing a imaginary "X" across the speaker's own heart, or else it doesn't count.)
Mod Pacts INVITATIONS:
>>Eve11 and Kid: AF Friday 12/26(check)
>>St John, Kid: Friday(check) and Saturday(check)
Ask,Sara,St J: Monday(check),Tuesday(check)
Eve: promises just 3 drinks New Years Eve,2 drinks other times



Use this form or start a new thread
for any pacts you want to start.
ANYONE ELSE??


ModSquad:
Vera-b,Lila,Sunbeam,Kid,Jamms,Ask for Help,
St John,KeepWalking, DeeBee,Sara,Periwinkle,Eve,
LookingToGrow,Vlad,Trixietrack,StartingOver,
Zed,One2many,(Cyclefan,Zeppie,Gyco,WIP, and Tawnyfrog visit)

keepwalking
December 30th, 2008, 05:18 AM
Thanks for correcting my mistake Kid!!! Got the date wrong re a typo like I keep saying I hate my small keyboard but will get better in 2009!! saraS enjoy toy story you sound on top note well done. To everyone else have a very happy new year. I am going to London to-day to leave my son back at uni so wont be back with you until Friday. Have a great modding time and DONT losse control, no hangovers for us modders - by order.!!! Going for a long walk round regents park and primrose hill on New Years day and then like ASK am so ready to get back into some exercise and feel fit and healthy again1 Love to all x

Lila
December 30th, 2008, 08:58 AM
hi all
Sara - the Star Wars Lego set. Good for you on last night! I am too looking forward for the other Modders to show up....I don't have much to say today...am a little down, honestly...
Lila

DeeBee
December 30th, 2008, 09:12 AM
Helloooooo everyone!!!
Happy Happy!!
I hope everyone had a great Xmas and you are all looking forward to a moderate New Years Eve -- what's everyone doing for New Years?

Well, I have been at the in-laws farm for Xmas and spent the days wondering the veld with the sheep, bonding with my MIL and getting whipped at scrabble by my FIL. As much as I love my in-laws dearly I am super chuffed to be back home in my own bed..... not for long tho, we are heading down to the coast to spend New Years with friends and family.

As far as moderation goes, i was definetly NOT sucessful in eating moderately over Xmas (uurgghh) I still feel bloated!! But I am pleased to say that my drinking has been moderate and I have managed many AF days in between.

Today is my darling daughers 14th birthday so we are going out for dinner tonight and I'll have a glass with dinner.

So how is everyone??? I've missed you guys and gals:-)

Sunbeam
December 30th, 2008, 10:03 AM
Deebs,
Welcome home! MYO is one of your homes, as I see it. Sounds like things are going well for you. I will be starting a diet journal on Jan 1, probably under the fitness and health section. I have whined here about my lack of weight loss, though I am barely overweight. I just would like to lose 10#. I don't expect I will ever be a size 6 again, but it would be nice to be 8 again instead of 10, and then be able to wear the smaller sized clothes in my closet.

I am having a couple of friends over to share wine this afternoon. Then maybe I won't have any on New Year's Eve, so I can enjoy some with the nice dinner my husband "The Chef" is planning for New Year's Day. My BIL will join us for New Year's Eve, and stay a couple of nights total.

I have been giving thought to parceling my drinking priveledges over this holiday. What is my priority? Good conversation with friends or my husband. I really don't have an awful lot to say to the relatives with whom we spend Christmas. I did have wine with two dinners at their home, mostly because I NEVER want them to know I have a drinking problem. They don't drink much at all, so this isn't hard. I have never had too much in their home, though I always went back the next day for the rest of the bottle at the first opportunity. Anyway, I no longer need wine just to relax, and the conversation that can occur with a reasonable amount of wine is something I cherish.

Lila, do holiday tunes cheer you up? How about a fire in that fireplace? Get some exercise, or give yourself permission to do as little as possible, with your preferred AF beverage in a wine glass. I have always disliked the letdown that goes with arrival home after the holiday trip. This year I did not have wine, and it was much better. Alcohol really does depress you.

Take care, all. I gotta clean up and put away some holiday clutter before my friends arrive this afternoon.

Lila
December 30th, 2008, 10:21 AM
hi Modders!
So glad to see you two!!! Everyone, I don't mean to be exclusive. Sunbeam, me too, I would like to lose a little weight, but more importantly, tone up. I was thinking about getting a really cheap elliptical machine. I am feeling down, can't seem to not be...but feelings do change. They do.
Deebs, that sounds lovely, so fun to have daughters! And it is nice to be home again after being gone!
Lila

Kid Shelleen
December 30th, 2008, 10:51 AM
Well,alrighty then...

Good morning,ladies...
Am I, like, the last one to get up this morning??
I'm on my second cuppa coffee. Cat is looking for some New Year's Eve recipes.(I nixed the dish that took a half cuppa cream and a half cuppa caviar).I can think of better uses for BOTH of those ingredients! HHG is sketching something.
We are finding places in our lives and cupboards for our Christmas presents. They can't stay under the tree forever. Cat is sorting a pile for charity.
It looks like it will be a sunny day. I'll join KW later in a long walk on our different continents!! Isn't it funny to have international friends??
I think it's going to be an easy,breezy day. Times to enjoy.
Al Talk: Last time I did 3 days AF, I was very "thirsty" on my BAF (Breaking Alcohol Fast). Last night I thought I'd have a beer that came recommended by my local spirits supplier (after 3 days AF again) with my supper of roast and little Italian handkerchiefs. After a few sips, and the food being gone, so was my AL appetite.I corked it,and put it away. I am SO elated! My moderation may be turning into semi-normal behavior! (Or maybe not...vigilance always)
:devil:........................................... ..........................................I'll getcha!!.......................................... .................................................. ........:devil:
My best to all,
~Kid~

Sarasmiles
December 30th, 2008, 08:42 PM
Hi Squad,

I've been at work all day, and just now have the chance to check in briefly...The kids are still awake and I want to go tuck them in. But I wasn't sure I could check in later, since hubby seems in need of some attention, too.

I felt pretty good today after being AF last night, and I won't drink tonight, either. It's amazing how quickly my brain starts to regain its equilibrium when I don't.

Welcome back, everyone...More tomorrow. Sara:)

Eve11
December 31st, 2008, 01:02 AM
Welcome back DeeBee and good to see a post from you Sunbeam as well. Sara - you're doing awesome with AF lately...great work!
Cooked a *lovely* (My Aussie friend's favorite word) chicken dinner tonight that required red wine. I had pacted with Kid to be AF night before New Year's Eve. Once that bottle was open it would have been SO easy to have had one and then possibly another with the meal. But...a deals a deal. So AF tonight and I froze the wine for future cooking rather than to be tempted to go back to that open bottle!
Have pacted for no more than 3 tomorrow. It's a costume party and was so much fun last year. Theme last year was roaring 20's-this year we're all white trash! I have the leopard outfit with shoes that light up. Really looking forward to it. But more than anything...looking forward to a fun night, keeping my pact and being hangover free on New Year's Day. That will be a first in a very long time.
Happy New Year's to All!
Eve11

Sarasmiles
December 31st, 2008, 07:41 AM
Well Done, Eve! Gotta love the pacts! Good luck at your party, and you will feel sooo good if you stick to your plan!

Lila, are you feeling better today? Two days AF, getting serious about figuring out these supps, tapering off of Prozac, and I am feeling so much better. In the past when I've gone off of Prozac I've had a noticeable "withdrawal" , even though they say Prozac doesn't cause that. So far so good this time, but I'll be checking in here. I'm down from 40 to 10 mg. and took none yesterday. I will take 10 every other day for another week or so. Anyone else have experience with this?

I'm looking for a doctor who will support a natural/alternative approach...They are surprisingly hard to come by.

I think Kudzu is really helping. I simply had no desire to drink yesterday. Will it last? God, I hope so.
I may have a celebratory glass or two of champagne tonight, but[B] I commit to no more than two[/ .
B] Happy New Year Mod Squad. Still some people MIA...Hope all are well. Sara

Sunbeam
December 31st, 2008, 08:14 AM
Good morning everybody,
I had a lovely afternoon sharing wine with two friends. Three glasses is too much for me, though. I didn't feel well during the night, although I guess I'm OK now, and will be better once I eat my oatmeal. This was a good reminder of why I much prefer my AF days.

Eve, your party sound like so much fun! We will be staying in. The BIL is is supposed to come, though we had a lot of snow last night so we aren't sure he is coming. Going to bed early may be what happens. I guess we are a couple of old fogies. And congrats on freezing that wine - much better than "wasting" it by drinking it.

Happy New Year to all!

Sarasmiles
December 31st, 2008, 08:15 AM
You can freeze wine????

Kid Shelleen
December 31st, 2008, 08:27 AM
Not YOUR wine, Sara!!!

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:s8rsNZNDXWiQ1M:http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1078/571334672_a07dfaf008.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1078/571334672_a07dfaf008.jpg&imgrefurl=http://gluggluggluggy.blogspot.com/&usg=__rar5HkiRlU_wuoXY_5lmvKfFnYE=&h=500&w=333&sz=86&hl=en&start=90&tbnid=s8rsNZNDXWiQ1M:&tbnh=130&tbnw=87&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddrunk%2Bdrinking%2Bfrom%2Bbottle%2Bin %2Bbag%26start%3D72%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3De n%26sa%3DN) I don't think "Ripple","Cisco", "Wild Irish Rose" or "MD20/20" will freeze!!http://tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:eIG2uNMCmBiEMM:http://image57.webshots.com/157/3/82/80/421338280OpdLWO_ph.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://image57.webshots.com/157/3/82/80/421338280OpdLWO_ph.jpg&imgrefurl=http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/1421338280074330470OpdLWO&usg=__PfpzNrFf41utiUr2fkpr3h7PT_M=&h=600&w=800&sz=63&hl=en&start=212&tbnid=eIG2uNMCmBiEMM:&tbnh=107&tbnw=143&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddrinking%2Bwine%2Bfrom%2Ba%2Bbag%26st art%3D198%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN )(oops, nothing left for ice cubes!)

But the kind you drink from a glass will...Put it in a nonbreakable container with a loose lid (it will expand) or use an ice cube tray. http://blog.kitchenmage.com/images/shallonb2.jpg (http://kitchenmage.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/shallonb2.jpg) Leftover cheap wine, frozen, equals groovy Valentines Day Ice Cubeshttp://tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:Z9-pAUXWjD8GNM:http://www.4showers.com/Store/media/MeltMyHeartIceCubeTray3.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.4showers.com/Store/media/MeltMyHeartIceCubeTray3.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.4showers.com/Store/page7.html&usg=__graVuRvOLwVXZrOA8c_Pt_Zpruo=&h=137&w=72&sz=4&hl=en&start=357&tbnid=Z9-pAUXWjD8GNM:&tbnh=93&tbnw=49&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dwine%2Bin%2Bice%2Bcube%2Btray%26start %3D342%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)
~Kid~

.................................................. ....(Elsa Deinweinenfriezer demonstrates above)............................................ ..................................................
.
.
.
.

Sunbeam
December 31st, 2008, 09:20 AM
Hi Sara,
You probably would not want to drink wine after freezing it, but it would be fine for cooking.

Kid Shelleen
December 31st, 2008, 10:29 AM
Happy New Year!

* "Cross my heart,and hope to die;Stick a needle in my eye.."
* Phrase uttered by children after making a promise to indicate the depth of their sincerity: the speaker is so committed to the action just agreed to that they offer self-inflicted pain and a death wish as proof of their seriousness.
(Must be accompanied by a gesture of drawing a imaginary "X" across the speaker's own heart, or else it doesn't count.)
Mod Pacts INVITATIONS:
>>Eve11 and Kid: AF Friday 12/26(check)
>>St John, Kid: Friday(check) and Saturday(check)
Ask,Sara,St J: Monday(check),Tuesday(check)
Eve: promises AF 12/30, just 3 drinks New Years Eve,2 drinks other times
Sara: 2 Glasses champage New Year's Eve (NO Chardonnay!)



Use this form or start a new thread
for any pacts you want to start.
ANYONE ELSE??


ModSquad:
Vera-b,Lila,Sunbeam,Kid,Jamms,Ask for Help,
St John,KeepWalking, DeeBee,Sara,Periwinkle,Eve,
Vlad,Trixietrack,StartingOver,
Zed, One2many,(Cyclefan,Zeppie,Gyco,J-vo,WIP, and Tawnyfrog visit)
__________________

startingover
December 31st, 2008, 10:45 AM
Hiya Modders!
Just wanted to pop in and wish you all a very happy new year! I hope you all manage to stick to your plans and have a wonderful time x

j-vo
December 31st, 2008, 05:12 PM
Hi modders,
Just popping in to say hi and Happy New Year to everyone!
It's good to see the "pacting" taking place. Good luck to everyone tonight.

Sara - I've come off plenty of meds and I've always had some sort of withdrawal symptoms - some not as severe as others. No, the medical community does not have many positives to say about the alternative approaches - but hey! They are human and can't possibly know everything. I think the majority of people know there are other solutions to problems other than medications. Yes, they are useful and necessary, but are overused and I should know that from the various anti-depressants my doc has put me on. I feel as though I was his guinea pig for years. Oh well, good luck to you with your supps.

Hi Eve - Rock on girlfriend! Sounds like an awesome party.

Hi Sun - That's so nice being able to share wine with girlfriends and stopping after a few. That's one of my dangers - starting early and not stopping until I hit the pillow.

Hi Deebs and happy birthday to your daughter. Wow. 14. That's a very fragile age to have to live with! You sound completely ont top of the world! (Can you see me down here????!!!!!) I'm glad you had a great x-mas with your in-laws. Sounds so relaxing and low key. Enjoy your new years.

Hi Lila - hey girl. Take it easy on yourself. You'll start to feel better after the holidays. The month prior to x-mas really got me down, starting drinking more than what I wanted.

I've laid off the AL for the last 4 days. Tonight will be a mod night for me - no more than three - and possibly a few tomorrow. After many days of AL, I started to feel that memory dullness, more anxiousness, and more depression. I can happily say, I'm feeling better after abstaining for awhile.
And that's the plan after new years - many AF days. I know the benefits of it!

To all the modders who started posting after my absence, have a great new year's and good luck on all of your modding goals! God Bless!

j-vo

Sarasmiles
December 31st, 2008, 08:45 PM
Thanks, JVO, and thanks for the info on freezing wine, guys...:)

Hubby and I have had a quarrel, and I am unbelievably tense over it. Earlier, when all was well, I decided to forgo the champagne, and have wine with the (fabulous) dinner I made. So now I've had my two, and I won't have more tonight. I am really down, and irritated...Such a stupid argument, over his having chosen "Airplane" for the kids to watch tonight...Not the right humor for their ages. Anyway, it led to more trouble between us than just that...Won't bore you with the details. I just wanted to check in here for sanity, to say, "I"M RIGHT, DAMN IT!" And as pissed off as I feel, I will not treat this symptom with alcohol...

Thanks for listening. Sara

Sunbeam
December 31st, 2008, 10:16 PM
j-vo - Great to hear from you! I'm glad to know you are doing OK.

Happy New Year to Everyone!

Kid Shelleen
January 1st, 2009, 12:19 AM
Happy New Year Mod Squad!!!

:yes2: I'm first!!

LookingToGrow
January 1st, 2009, 12:54 AM
Kid, I am not part of the Mod Squad and do not appreciate you posting my title there. Please edit this.

Eve11
January 1st, 2009, 03:31 AM
Hey Gang,
We had fun, fun, fun at the party and I was SO proud to keep my pact with Kid and the gang. Got there at 8:30 and had 2 wines with water in between the drinks. Saved the third for the midnight toast. Was in control, sang (karyoke) and it was fun, fun, fun and I felt so much better this year as I didn't overdrink. There's always that concern of "Did I make a fool of myself?" In this case, not!
By the way...won the first prize!! Tacky gifts as it was a tacky party - but loved that Wal-mart card among the other things like my pink pelicans and tiara!!
J-Vo twin - Glad to see you back.
Lila, missed your post about feeling down so wanted to say I hope you're feeling better.
Sara-I agree about the movie. Not appropriate for kids from what I remember but a lot of the stuff is over their heads so that may have been where hubby was coming from. Anyway, hope you're both doing better.
LTG - struggled to comment on your post or not as I don't know you. Just wanted to say I know Kid didn't mean to offend you in any way. Someone had asked who was on the mod squad and I think he just listed all of the names of people who had posted recently.
Kid- Being you're fairly new to our board you can edit that post with LTG's name on it. Go back to the
original post and edit her name out of the list.
Have a wonderful New Year's everyone! Here's to a successful 09 whether it's modding or AF - we're all here just trying to help each other and that's what life is all about!
Big hugs,
Eve11

Kid Shelleen
January 1st, 2009, 07:49 AM
Good Morning Crew!

Eve,
Sounds like loads of fun and you held the line too!! It's going to be a GREAT year, yes?
I updated our list..Who wanted that list anyway? I guess it's good to have if we haven't heard from one of our friends in awhile.
For members only: Your membership cards, glow-in-the-dark decoder rings, and alarm whistles will go out in the mail today. :H

http://tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:LGl5m2Qdq96bMM:http://www.maplin.co.uk/images/Full/ls44x.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.maplin.co.uk/images/Full/ls44x.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.4utoday.co.uk/category/Blank%2520Media/&usg=__LPPF-h9UC12Tev92pfwIRnCDBDU=&h=322&w=433&sz=81&hl=en&start=35&tbnid=LGl5m2Qdq96bMM:&tbnh=94&tbnw=126&prev=/images%3Fq%3DBlank%2Bmembership%2Bcard%26start%3D2 0%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN)>>>>>>>>>>>>> http://tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:sjYW4paqRjR1SM:http://secretdecoderring.net/Secret_Ring_1.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://secretdecoderring.net/Secret_Ring_1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://secretdecoderring.net/&usg=__uu2AVZs50jBUQ1kG-5frCLwyP1Y=&h=400&w=400&sz=32&hl=en&start=14&tbnid=sjYW4paqRjR1SM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddecoder%2Bring%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26 sa%3DG)>>>>>>>>>>>> http://tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:Vs8-j7O7DcfXPM:http://scienceblogs.com/intersection/upload/2007/03/whistle.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://scienceblogs.com/intersection/upload/2007/03/whistle.jpg&imgrefurl=http://scienceblogs.com/intersection/2007/03/i_heart_whistleblowers_or_our.php&usg=__qD3JUTcX2Cb30rx60dO5dLC_2DA=&h=300&w=510&sz=12&hl=en&start=4&tbnid=Vs8-j7O7DcfXPM:&tbnh=77&tbnw=131&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dwhistle%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG)
Make it a GREAT day!!!
-Kid-

PS; For non-members: a complimentary packet of seeds (if any one is "looking-to-grow")

http://www.princetonlibrary.org/librarylounge/seeds1.bmp
........... (includes seeds for joy,tolerance, patience, understanding and all sorts of useful goodies for the new year!)

Sarasmiles
January 1st, 2009, 08:16 AM
Good Morning and Happy New Year Mod Squad!

I can't wait for my mod-squad membership card to arrive, and I definitely need a decoder ring. :H Can I use it to decode marital communications and misunderstandings?

Eve, I am so happy that you're happy...That's wonderful! What a great story of "modding"...Fun without the down-side.

My evening was basically a drag....After "the 'Airplane' incident" we moved on to the Three Stooges marathon. Now I could get all uptight about the stooges as role models for 3 little boys, but I won't. ;) The kids got a huge kick out of them, and hearing their laughter is always a joy. I pushed for putting the two little guys to bed at 10:00, leading to a little more stress with hubby. We agreed to let our nine year old stay up until midnight, which ultimately meant that hubby fell asleep by 10:30, and my son and I watched multiple episodes of The Three Stooges. I probably could have enjoyed that, except that I was tired and a little annoyed that this was how the evening turned out. I guess I might have liked a little romance, but it never comes along when I envision it, only when I least expect it. Maybe that's life with little kids.

As I look back on the evening, I'm thinking Hubby's alcohol consumption (three Margaritas, I believe) as well as my own (two glasses of red wine) may have played a part. It's not that it was a lot, but perhaps just enough to make us both a little pissy.

Okay, onward and upward...A New Year, and great hopes for health and happiness for all!
Sara

Lila
January 1st, 2009, 09:12 AM
hi Modders
I had a very nice New Year's Eve. And I feel good about the New Year. There is a lot on my plate right now, but the whole idea of a new year beginning always energizes me.
J-vo, nice to see you back. Are you doing better?
Also, with January starting, it feels like winter is, well, not winding down, but starting to wind down. Me, I live for summer! And this year I do know I will get in shape!
Happy New Year everybody!
Lila

Kid Shelleen
January 1st, 2009, 10:04 AM
New Year; New PACTs?

* "Cross my heart,and hope to die;Stick a needle in my eye.."
* Phrase uttered by children after making a promise to indicate the depth of their sincerity: the speaker is so committed to the action just agreed to that they offer self-inflicted pain and a death wish as proof of their seriousness.
(Must be accompanied by a gesture of drawing a imaginary "X" across the speaker's own heart, or else it doesn't count.)
Mod Pacts INVITATIONS:
JAMMS: Started "the program" AF until Thursday Jan. 15th (good luck)

Use this form or start a new thread
for any pacts you want to start.
ANYONE ELSE??


ModSquad:
Vera-b,Lila,Sunbeam,Kid,Jamms,Ask for Help,janie
St John,KeepWalking, DeeBee,Sara,Periwinkle,Eve,
Vlad,Trixietrack,StartingOver,
Zed, One2many,(Cyclefan,Zeppie,Gyco,J-vo,WIP, and Tawnyfrog visit)
__________________

Delta Moon
January 1st, 2009, 11:17 AM
Well, its a bit early in the year for grumpiness, isn't it?
Kid- we all love you!

Had a great New years at a party( but not as fun as yours sounds, Eve!) and only had 1 champagne. Stuck to the plan even though it was an undeclared one. I think the cds are helping- seems to take away the desire to down 'em.
j-vo I was wondering where you were glad to heear from you.
Sun and DeeBee glad your back-
Sara I am totally with you on the AL contributing to the domestic probs- spent years doing that. Good for you not caving to the old bandaid-another drink! You keep strong my friend.
My word of the year is CONVERSION. I am moving out of the old me and converting to a new, sober, happy one!
Have a great day.
Your ST. J

Ask For Help
January 1st, 2009, 01:31 PM
Happy New Year to All

Wanted to wish all of you a very happy and satisfying New Year. I have great hopes for all of our dreams and aspirations for 2009. Together I believe we can help each other grow and achieve great things!

Kid: I want to thank you for you wonderful contributions to this thread. You have a caring and gentle but also very informed approach. . . you've added greatly both in structure (pacts, listing the names, etc) and sharing of yourself. Thank you.
DeeBee great to see you back, and we must trade stories about our 14 year old daughters some day.
J-Vo also great to see you back. Enjoy your posts
Eve, good for you winning the "most trashy" prize: I might have been inhibited lol.
Lila; sounds like a nice quiet New Years with many hopes for 2009. I love summer too, but don't believe we've seen the end of winter in the NE, at least.
Sara, sorry about the upset on NY, but you handled it really well. Glad you came here to vent, and it's really GOOD you didn't take the extra drink: that's a downfall of mine.
Sunbeam: Still thinking up "celebration" ideas. Do we get "1 year anniversary" wishes? I have some - particularly for more tolerance or even "promotion" of mods on the MWO boards.
Hi to all the rest.
I miss Vlad, Periwinkle, Zed, Jamms and Ducky (PS Kid: Ducky should be on the list: she's an oldie but goodie modder).

I am still thinking about my 2009 goals.. . not to be taken lightly as I will need to commit and follow through.

Best to all!

Ask

PS: I think I'll take the decoder ring too

JAMMS
January 1st, 2009, 03:25 PM
Whoa!!! What a feakin' two weeks!!!!

Hello Everyone.....Happy New Year!!!!! Managed to stay sober last night, some beers and champagne but not enough to do any damage. Xmas was another story but that's all behind us now. I missed you all and thought of you often over the holidays. :l

Kid- I've started the MWO program so for the next 2 weeks I am AF, I do not have a calendar in front of me right now but, that's my plan.

Sara- I understand about the movie, my little one always wants to watch "the family guy" no freakin' way, not appropriate for a 7 year old..."the little rascals" is good to watch with them....my son loves it.

Ask- Thanks for missing me. Hope all is well with you.

Delta Moon
January 1st, 2009, 06:05 PM
Hi, Janie...Nice to *meet* you.

Kid Shelleen
January 1st, 2009, 06:49 PM
Stepchildren....

Ask, Janie and others;
I go to the subscriber threads periodically to look around, but unless I'm missing something, there doesn't seem to be alot there for "modders". I'm perfectly happy here but I notice that you all are subscribers and I wonder what threads you frequent in the subscriber area.
~Kid~

Ask For Help
January 1st, 2009, 11:54 PM
Hey Janie: Welcome Aboard! This is a great thread to support your modding goals. Would love to see you again soon!

Kid: RE: your question about Subscribers: Although I believe there are many modders on Subs there is not much discussion of drinking there. .. more a daily check in of folks who been around a long time and know how to have fun. .. Lots of laughs. . . Good camaraderie. In that past months there has been upsetness and tension, claims that the old timers are "cliqueish' etc etc but in my humble opinion I think the root of the problem is the mods/ abs tension inherent on this site. There are ABS folks who REALLY have difficulty with the idea of supporting modders, and some have ventured to say that "many" of those who mod are in essence not in control, etc etc.

So that being said, Subs is a great place to be as long as you don't talk about modding - not because there aren't lots of modders who would agree, but because there are also ABS folks who are skeptical and vocal.
Oh well. Kind of a strange dynamic on a site that offers mods hope, don't you think? It's one of my least favorite aspects of MWO.

But we are MWO members too and this Mods thread is a very important source of support, so we need to work together to support each other and then make that support known to the broader community.

Hope that helps.

Ask

Kid Shelleen
January 2nd, 2009, 12:34 AM
Thanks...

That helps immensely!


Ask For Help;507997 wrote: ...in my humble opinion I think the root of the problem is the mods/ abs tension inherent on this site. There are ABS folks who REALLY have difficulty with the idea of supporting modders, and some have ventured to say that "many" of those who mod are in essence not in control, etc etc.

So that being said, Subs is a great place to be as long as you don't talk about modding - not because there aren't lots of modders who would agree, but because there are also ABS folks who are skeptical and vocal.
Oh well. Kind of a strange dynamic on a site that offers mods hope, don't you think? It's one of my least favorite aspects of MWO.

But we are MWO members too and this Mods thread is a very important source of support, so we need to work together to support each other and then make that support known to the broader community.

Hope that helps.

Ask

Kid Shelleen
January 2nd, 2009, 09:08 AM
I guess I'd better get moving then!

Damn,
All that energy on the "Plans' thread; I better get off my butt and do something!
I hope everyone DOES make a plan for 2009, and that a year from now they are moderating well; feeling healthier, happier and on the road that finds them closer to being the kind of people they want to be.
Sara, are you starting the "Program" today, or just coincidently AF? Is it 2 weeks AF starting today? I might do that too, if I can think of a good reason :H. I'll let it percolate awhile...
Otherwise, I'm going to start formulating a plan and get it posted later.
It's going to be a great day!
~Kid~

Kid Shelleen
January 2nd, 2009, 09:15 AM
New Year; New PACTS...I cross my heart.

* "Cross my heart,and hope to die;Stick a needle in my eye.."
* Phrase uttered by children after making a promise to indicate the depth of their sincerity: the speaker is so committed to the action just agreed to that they offer self-inflicted pain and a death wish as proof of their seriousness.
(Must be accompanied by a gesture of drawing a imaginary "X" across the speaker's own heart, or else it doesn't count.)
Mod Pacts INVITATIONS:
*JAMMS: Started "the program" (and a 2 week AF/Modder MWO Program Starter thread!)
..2 weeks AF until Thursday Jan. 15th(at least) (good luck)
*Kid: AF Friday, Saturday,Sunday
*Sara and Sunbeam: Friday (1/2) starts 2weeks AF!!(Good LucK)

ANYONE ELSE??
Feel free to join in with any ongoing pact
(or start a new one)
Remember:you've :h"crossed your heart":h


ModSquad:
Vera-b,Lila,Sunbeam,Kid,Jamms,Ask for Help,janie
St John,KeepWalking, DeeBee,Sara,Periwinkle,Eve,
Vlad,Trixietrack,StartingOver,
Zed, One2many,(Cyclefan,Zeppie,Gyco,J-vo,WIP, and Tawnyfrog visit)
__________________

Sarasmiles
January 2nd, 2009, 10:43 AM
Yes, Kid, and other modders...I start today. Two weeks AF, and I would love some company! But even if I'm on my own with this, I'll be checking in a lot, looking for support in succeeding at this. Be well, everyone! Sara

keepwalking
January 2nd, 2009, 12:05 PM
Happy New year fellow modders!! Kid thanks for the other thread re "the plan" I am going to think it through properly and post it on there tomorrow. Welcome everyone else to 2009. Ask - thanks for the clarity re subs, I subscribed ( still waiting for my free bottle of kudzu?) but i rarely go there for some of the reasons you outlined. !
I am back from London after a really wonderful family time, no overdoing it, no hangovers, just an enjoyable quality time. I am very serious about not kidding myself in 2009 though and i am asking myself how many days out of 365 do i want to be AF - hmmm, will post answer to that later too!

I am excited to join you all properly for the pact for 2009 and I too will be joining Weighwatchers on 08/01 with an aim to loose exactly one stone from whatever i weigh in at!! I really only need to loose about ten pounds but i want to be V trim for holiday season! Ps - Who has bought a podometer?? Who is joining me for the 10.000 steps a day as a mumimum challenge?? More tomorrow x

PpS : Kid hope you like my new avatar x

Sunbeam
January 2nd, 2009, 03:38 PM
I will do the two weeks AF with Sara. I did not drink too much, but more frequently than I had intended before the holidays began. I especially hated drinking that third glass yesterday, alone by myself, after my husband had gone off for a nap. More AF time is better for me.

Sara and Eve , I knit a nice shawl over Christmas, while we were traveling to visit family, and while we were there. It is a very simple beginner's pattern. Scarves are the easiest item to make, but this is much nicer.

And my creative juices are still flowing. Today I may finish the beaded valance for over my kitchen sink window. I have also have begun cutting out pieces for a new quilt. I finished a quilt last winter during my 2.5 months AF. A photo is floating around in the MWO gallery. It features several old neckties, opened up to maximize fabric, but they look huge.

Kid Shelleen
January 2nd, 2009, 09:20 PM
Not a bad day...

How about you all? Well Sara, you've got some company for your 2 week endeavor! Thanks,Sunbeam...Good luck you two!!
I DO like your avatar,KW; very inspirational!
AF today was easy, although I was a lazy guy. Took college girl out to dinner and I had hot tea.It was good;it was warm; and it was everything my mouth wanted at that minute... It's not worth even talking about except that it reinforces that modding is for some of us, a very real choice for controlling problem drinking. We can change... We can STOP or we can mod. It's so great not to be that 17 year old who started drinkining and never grew up... I've grown up. I see how this works.
Good night all (watching "Breaking Up" with the family.)
~KS~

Lila
January 3rd, 2009, 08:54 AM
hi Modders
I am just popping in to say hi. I hope you all are well and wishing everyone a happy New Year!
Love
Lila

Eve11
January 3rd, 2009, 11:31 AM
Kid Shelleen;507904 wrote: Ask, Janie and others;
I go to the subscriber threads periodically to look around... I wonder what threads you frequent in the subscriber area.
~Kid~Hey Kid,
I always have a fear of speaking about modding in areas other than the mod board as I know many people can't mod and have issues with those who can (or think they can).
People were very warm and welcoming when I posted the first time but like us they all seem connected with many seeming to know each other well and I felt like an outsider looking in. Know I could break the fence down but have such great support and connections here and it's safe to post about modding that I pretty much just stay around here.
Always have a fear that newbies feel the same way here (on the outside looking in) so here or there I'll welcome them to join us as it can be intimidating when people seem to know each other so well.
Eve11

Kid Shelleen
January 3rd, 2009, 12:44 PM
Good point...

I'll try to be more welcoming to newbies, if I haven't been.
I'm going to write something sometime about moderation; what to expect; how to plan; when to give up and go back to AF :H...stuff like that. We are going to bring modding up to a new height of respectability and credibility! It 's going to be very much an alternative for addiction (especially alcohol) in the future.
~Kid~

keepwalking
January 3rd, 2009, 01:25 PM
kid that would be great, some people keep drinking and drinking because they see no altrnative, modding is possible with support and help, thanks x

Eve11
January 3rd, 2009, 01:31 PM
When to give up?


Kid Shelleen;509262 wrote: I'm going to write something sometime about moderation; what to expect; how to plan; when to give up and go back to AF That question of when to give up is major!! I still struggle with questions of can I really do it? The pacting has helped tremendously as the drinktracker has. And of course there's nothing like connecting with the people here as we encourage each other on.
Share more about the program you did Kid. Was it SMART recovery? I've always been interested to hear what other programs have to say to see if there's anything helpful I can pick up.
Hi to everyone old and new. St. J. - you sent a special New Year's message...hope yours is wonderful as well and you meet your goals! Like your conversion thoughts. Think we should all convert to successful moderate drinkers!
Hugs
Eve11

Sunbeam
January 3rd, 2009, 01:53 PM
Hi Kid,
Thanks for all you've brought to the Mod Squad.

You have made me very curious regarding what you could write down about successful moderation, especially since the very definition is dynamic. Individual experiences seem to vary a lot, too. Some people seem to crash into alcoholic oblivion with just one drink, and others have declared that anyone can learn to moderate. Whew! But the planning piece is really critical - wish I had known that before learning it by the seat of my pants.

JAMMS
January 3rd, 2009, 03:23 PM
hello everyone,
I first would like to clear one thing up....in case anyone wasn't sure.
The "program"from the MWO book is a MOD program. Can be AB if you choose. I choose to MOD....It is best to be AF for the first couple of weeks of the program. So just to be clear the thread I have started is a "MWO PROGRAM" thread....not an AF thread.

Kid- do you think I should change the name of my thread so that it is clearer? I do respect what you think.

Kid Shelleen
January 3rd, 2009, 03:32 PM
Done...Changed my PACT announcement

Updated for clarity...we love clarity ;)
~KS~
PS: I think the name of your thread is just fine; and you clarified the intent also..


Sunbeam,
Not everyone can "moderate". Some people think moderating will be easier, that they are just going to "cut down on their drinking a little" but, "Oh boy, I still get to drink!"
There are many things I would like to clear up to save the newbies the trouble. More later..
~Kid~

Ask For Help
January 3rd, 2009, 03:48 PM
Quote from Jamms:

I first would like to clear one thing up....in case anyone wasn't sure.
The "program"from the MWO book is a MOD program. Can be AB if you choose. I choose to MOD....It is best to be AF for the first couple of weeks of the program. So just to be clear the thread I have started is a "MWO PROGRAM" thread....not an AF thread.

Kid- do you think I should change the name of my thread so that it is clearer? I do respect what you think.


Jamms: When I saw your thread and people were signing up I assumed this was a Jan 1st sign up for 30 days ABS so you might want to clarify it with the folks who have signed up. It's surprising how AF focussed this site can be. Also: you're likely to get feedback that 30 days minimum, preferably 60 AF is recommended, even though that is not stated in Roberta's book, it's pretty heavily quoted on this site by the folks who are AF. Just a heads up. Good for you though, for initiating a mods thread!! This needs doing on this site!! You go girl. I'll watch with interest ( and be there for support)

Ask

JAMMS
January 3rd, 2009, 03:59 PM
Thanks Ask for Help, I went back to the thread and stated that it was a MWO Program thread.

Delta Moon
January 3rd, 2009, 06:36 PM
Hi all- o.k. I will pact with you all to be AF for the next two weeks. (did I just say that?)
I am ready and armed with prayer, my modding buds, and the fact that my heavy -drinking spouse will be travelling the next two weeks. Helps when its not in the house-even the sound of a bottle opener can be a trigger!
Looking forward to a new year with all of you.
Blessings-
St. J

Kid Shelleen
January 3rd, 2009, 07:29 PM
When did your 2 weeks start???

St J??
They are rolling! Did you start today; or been AF a day or two (or more)??
I'll update the PACT list...
KS

Cross my heart,and hope to die;Stick a needle in my eye.."
* Phrase uttered by children after making a promise to indicate the depth of their sincerity: the speaker is so committed to the action just agreed to that they offer self-inflicted pain and a death wish as proof of their seriousness.
(Must be accompanied by a gesture of drawing a imaginary "X" across the speaker's own heart, or else it doesn't count.)
Mod Pacts INVITATIONS:
*JAMMS: Started "the program" (and a 2 week AF/Modder MWO Program Starter thread!)
..2 weeks AF until Thursday Jan. 15th(at least) (good luck)
*Kid: AF Friday, Saturday,Sunday
*KW: Mon,Tues,Wed,Thuday
*Sara and Sunbeam: Friday (1/2) starts 2weeks AF!!(Good LucK)

ANYONE ELSE??
Feel free to join in with any ongoing pact
(or start a new one)
Remember:you've :h "crossed your heart" :h


ModSquad:
Vera-b,Lila,Sunbeam,Kid,Jamms,Ask for Help,janie
St John,KeepWalking, DeeBee,Sara,Periwinkle,Eve,
Vlad,Trixietrack,StartingOver,
Zed, One2many,(Cyclefan,Zeppie,Gyco,J-vo,WIP, and Tawnyfrog visit)
__________________

JAMMS
January 3rd, 2009, 10:28 PM
Yes, the same water fountain.

Anyone heard from Peri?

Kid Shelleen
January 3rd, 2009, 10:52 PM
Now that you mention it, JAMMS...


JAMMS;509701 wrote:
Anyone heard from Peri?
Hmmmmm....no.

Sarasmiles
January 3rd, 2009, 10:58 PM
Hey Modders!

Day two and doing pretty well. I wanted a glass of wine when I started cooking dinner tonight, but hubby reminded me that I'd regret it if I had it, and I poured a diet tonic water instead. It was really just a brief urge, but I definitely heard that voice saying "oh go ahead, just one, then start your two weeks again tomorrow." I really am pleased to be able to say I resisted.

I just realized I'm way behind on reading this thread....Think I'll get caught up before I ramble on about myself anymore :H Sara

Sarasmiles
January 3rd, 2009, 11:16 PM
Okay, I'm caught up. I think. The whole issue of modding is so touchy, isn't it? I too would love to read whatever you want to share Kid. You are wise and wonderful.

I suppose it's a touchy subject in part because modding is what almost everyone with a drinking problem has, at least at some time, wished passionately to be able to do. Obviously it's a deeply personal (and I mean personally meaningful, not private) question for each of us to answer individually. Can we or can't we? Is it harder or easier? Are we kidding ourselves? Do we have a "disease" that will progress if we keep drinking?

I can only answer for myself, of course. What I know at this point is that I have had fewer problems with drinking since I decided to moderate thoughtfully, knowledgeably, and with support and guidance, than I ever had before. I did about 60 days AF with the help of SMART. I wasn't ready to say "I can't ever drink again", not because I "couldn't stand" the thought of living without alcohol, I could. I just didn't really believe, deep down, that I had to. I didn't, and don't, believe, as a wise and wonderful friend ;) said to me in jest, that I am ever going to drink my mouthwash. I don't feel out of control. I just feel that I have to be more mindful than many drinkers. I have to plan, and I have to care enough about being well and sober to make it work.

It's a great topic... Sensitive, yes, but important. Love to all. Sara

Ask For Help
January 3rd, 2009, 11:38 PM
Great way of describing it Sara:

I too feel that I have to be more mindful than most people (who do not have a problem with drinking) but that with thoughtfulness, insight, and support I can enjoy alcohol in my life in modest amounts.

Ask

Kid Shelleen
January 3rd, 2009, 11:50 PM
I'm going to let it percolate, Sara...

Sara,
It IS a touchy subject. I don't think it has to be, but as you and I know, it often is. Modding isn't easy. It isn't for everybody. It's not even for everybody who WANTS to do it. The touchiness I see comes from 2 camps. On one side you have AFers who have tried it, can't do it, and therefore decide nobody can do it (and press that point). On the other side you may have some modders who are a little defensive because it's NOT going as well as they hoped but they aren't going to throw in the towel yet. They don't know if it's going to work or not, so they don't have the confidence to defend what they are doing. We can change that.
My hope for this site is to help modders make a plan, use the science and the same programs that work for abstinence, to control their alcohol use at the level they want.
You gain respect and credibility by proving you are doing it, right?
I think the AFers who are confident in themselves and their choices, along with modders who are DOING it successfully, don't HAVE to argue with anyone. They are successful in what is working for them. If someone wants help or advice to pursue either goal, they are ready to help.
*But I'll percolate on it and add my 2 cents later...:H
~Kid~

*And besides some gorgeous, smarty, genius girl already said it all perfectly and there's nothing for me to add!!

Sarasmiles
January 4th, 2009, 12:49 AM
And here I was lying in bed worrying that I'd sounded insensitive or might have offended someone. I just need to say (so hopefully I can sleep) that I didn't mean to imply that I don't know what it's like to feel out of control. The day I joined SMART was the day I had come home from work and had three shots of bourbon, behind my husband's back. I felt so ashamed, for wanting the relief of a buzz that badly. And I do know that "vampire" feeling ( was that Vlad's expression? I forget, but it seems so apt) of just really wanting more when I know I've had enough. I believe that I am learning to recognize it and deal with it in new ways, but I do know it well.

Also keeping me awake is one more concern, so I'll get that off of my chest too. The discussion of welcoming Newbies reminded me of the warm welcome I got from Periwinkle when I first showed up here. She and Zed and Ducky were all very active on this thread at that time. I worry that the arrival of "newbies" (like me) has driven them off, (although I know Zed's in India, right?) It can be hard when a group dynamic changes, and I hope very much that this thread feels truly welcoming and accessible to anyone, old or new. It sure feels important to me, at this turning point in my life. :h

Okay, maybe I can sleep now. See you tomorrow. Sara

dhs
January 4th, 2009, 03:27 AM
Hello everyone,

Just checking in and trying to find my way around. It is interesting that a MOD website still has Modding issues. Well, I am glad we are here because I don't see one reason why we can't accomplish our goal if we put our mind to it. I am happy I found you:-)

I also did close to 60 days with the help of SMART. I was so great to feel my life without one drop of alcohol for 60 days. I will get that again. It is in my plan for the long run. However, I cannot and could not "stand" the thought of never having alcohol again. I just couldn't. Before my 60 days I had one beer at a party and felt like a loser. One night I had a bottle of wine and felt why bother trying. Now having a bottle of wine in one sitting is NOT IN MY PLAN anymore but I can't imagine never having a drink or two again. That is my downfall with AF FOREVER. I can't comprehend it so I feel like I am a time bomb ready to fail at any moment.

What I want is moderation. This is what I want. I want to have a few glasses of wine at my husbands Christmas party, two margaritas on New Year's Eve, a glass of wine at dinner (when my hustband has one), a beer at a summer birthday party, a glass of champange on Christmas and that is that. Never being able to do that would get the best of me and I would drive myself crazy and drink every night for two months before I got so sick of myself I could pull myself back out and give it another go.

So Kid, lets do this with the credibility and respect you talk about. We can choose to stop at one or two and have the ability to do this just like the AF person has the choice to not take that first sip.

Nce to be here!!!


dhs

Sarasmiles
January 4th, 2009, 07:34 AM
Great to have you here, dhs! Your description of feeling "like a time bomb" , and that experience of feeling "like a loser" for having one beer, is something I saw a lot at SMART, and is exactly why I don't think abstinence is the only, or the right, choice for every problem drinker. It seemed that for a lot of people at SMART, a "slip" became a terrible fall, and I don't think it has to, at least not for everyone. It seemed to happen to people who thought it was inevitable, and there lies the danger of the disease model, and the "powerless over alcohol" model. For me, the idea of being "powerless" is dangerous. It is only since I came to truly feel I have power over my behavior that I have gotten a handle on this. Another 2 cents for the piggy bank. :) So glad you're here, Dhs, and keep posting... Sara

Sunbeam
January 4th, 2009, 07:43 AM
Hi all,
dhs, welcome again. After one year here at MWO, I have pretty much achieved what you hope to accomplish - only occasional social drinking. One reason I keep alcohol in the picture is that I don't want to be afraid of having a drink, I don't want to be afraid that having a drink will throw me back to where I began. I have found that you have to include alcohol in the picture to learn to control alcohol. I posted my story yesterday under Tell Us Your Story, with a title of My Own Path.

OK, time to get into the shower and get ready for church.

keepwalking
January 4th, 2009, 12:03 PM
Hi all, Kid please can you put me in the pact for AF, mon/tues.wed/thurs, i am off on a girlie pamper spa weekend on friday and although the drinking will be very moderate we do kick start proceedings with a glass of sparkly so i will be back on track the following monday. I will have to do my pact week by week as ive given it a lot of thought and i know if i say i will then be AF til the end of January I will think of nothing else, its like being on a diet thinking of food all the time!! So my plan as from tomorrow is AF, back on the supps, cd.s, lots of walking, lots of water, early nights and I expect that for each day until Friday, wish me luck, am anxious already but will do it!! I want to do exactly what DHS says above but without the mental torture so i need to start re-training my brain PROPERLY. I am also joining WW on thursday as I want 2009 to be my best year yet. Evie thanks for your support on that one xx Good luck to all who like me are starting day one tomorrow?? Thanks for the pact Kid, it will help me stick to my goals! I can lie to myself but I promise, cross my heart and hope to die I WILL NOT lie to this pact!

Eve11
January 4th, 2009, 12:06 PM
Morning all. DHS - sending you a warm welcome again. Glad to have you on the mod squad team.
Sara - I'm the one who posted the vampire feeling although I'm sure most have had that feeling as well. The feeling? Can drink 1-2 and stop without a problem. Vampire: Drink one or two thinking you can stop without a problem and the vampire kicks in. Tasted a little blood (AL) ... have to HAVE more!!!
My modding concern has always been will that vampire feeling kick in and I'll have more than intended, wind up in some kind of trouble (DUI, fight with spouse, embarrassment to kids etc.) and be kicking myself in the butt thinking I shouldn't have deluded myself that I can mod.
So far that hasn't happened. Just being more aware of what I'm doing has helped me be in more control. Even the few times I've gone over my limit I have been in more control (no slurring, sloppy behavior) because I think I'm so much more conscious of not doing that.
Wanted to be AF last night. The dinner guests brought a bottle of champagne LOL! Remember how I recently posted if an old friend from 20 years showed up with Dom Perignon I'd say no!! Well, I planned on keeping my commitment and know I would have if that bottle had been cracked open because I was firm in my AF intentions. Luckily I didn't have the extreme challenge because they never got to the champagne over the course of the evening. I had flavored water and when they had beer with the ribs I had my bottle of amber O'Douls and I swear it tasted as good as their fine quality brew.

Sara and Kid, how is SMART different than A.A? I'm very familiar with AA having been a trusted member for 7 years. How I got started with A.A. was having co-dependency issues about my alcoholic dad. The therapist gave me the standard alcoholism test - and I failed it. All problem drinkers would fail it! So she said I should look into my own recovery. So I joined A.A. and didn't drink for 7 years. Just cold turkey, didn't drink - no problem. So was I, am I an alcoholic? or a problem drinker like RJ talked about?

I didn't like the stigma of not drinking. Back then seems everyone was a social drinker and I stood out to the point of people asking questions of why I didn't drink. When I said I was a recovering Alcoholic I got the strangest looks. I confided my recovery to a co-worker who gossiped about me and the whole thing of being a "recovering alcoholic" with that stigma just plain got to me. Started to see people who were drunk and I'd be thinking "I never got that bad" ...etc. So eventually I started drinking again.
The downfall? I'm still a person with a drinking problem. So, even if I'm not as bad as the true street alcoholic with no home, no shoes and a bottle in the hand - I can wreck my life just as easily if I get too drunk, black out, etc.
So, I'm here - modding since 9/2/8 and so far I'm doing a pretty good job at modding. Love WIP's title and I remain the same ... a work in progress.
Hugs to all
Eve11

JAMMS
January 4th, 2009, 05:28 PM
Hi all- Checking in kinda late....long story....welcome dhs, good to see you, I hear what your saying...I wanna be able to have a beer a summmer bbq without drinking 18 more and falling down a flight of stairs in front of someones grandmother.

Had some weird dreams again last night....can't remember them exactly..just woke up feeling very...."tired" and "out of it" I still do and it's after 5 pm......

Anyway, in regards to the MODDERS vs AF'ers... can't we all just get along! It is a touchy subject...I wish it wasn't. It is what it is.

Sarasmiles
January 4th, 2009, 10:24 PM
Hi Everyone,
Just a quick check in to say hello. All is well here on day 3.

Jamms, I'm sorry you're not feeling well...Saw your post on the "program" thread, too. I hope you get a good night's sleep and feel better tomorrow.

There's lots I want to respond to, but I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night, and I am going to make myself go to bed now.

Take care, everyone, and I'll see you tomorrow! Sara

Kid Shelleen
January 5th, 2009, 08:55 AM
<--I love Mondays!!!

Good Morning Mod Squad,
Sitting here relaxing with Lazydog, the laptop and a cuppa coffee, of which I believe I make some of the world's best!
It's my week to drive the honey-haired-girl and her friend to school. I fed Lazydog, made Cats lunch for her as she works today, and I'm on my second load of laundry. Monday is my favorite day! This is MY time; and after 3 days of "refreshing" (AF) I'm feeling like me at my best!
You all seem to be doing so well. There are lots of thoughtful, supportive posts. Modding is out of the closet and more vocal than ever. I say, "hooray". A reliable approach to Modding can evolve and improve itself with so much collaboration.
Sara, your little story about the 3 shots of bourbon behind your husband's back brought back memories of my own sneakiness. Thank God those days are over!
Among other places, I would hide a bottle of gin down by the washer. I figured it was my reward for doing laundry. We NEVER ran out of clean clothes though!! Or I'd tell my wife I was switching to non-AL beer and then refill the bottles with high test stuff and sit there drinking right in front of her...Gawd..who were we fooling? Who do we really hurt..That's stuff is so OVER.
DHS: That's a perfect goal: the occasional (or even "rare" drink). We all know too much alcohol is bad for us and that we feel better with some AF time under our belts, but for many of us the thought of a completely AF life is unacceptable for many reasons. We MAY reach a point that we almost never drink but if the situation should arise, we want to know how to behave ourselves, right? That's mature. We don't have to go crazy and spiral down into sloppy drunkenness and destroy our lives because we have a beer at the BBQ..I say to the person with that attitude, "Let's grow up". Enjoy one or two drinks and let it go. And that's what we modders are learning to do, together.
Sara, speaking of SMARTand organizations that encourage self-loathing; my one month total "ban" ended recently and I'm now allowed to "lurk" on the SMART website until my "punishmen"t is over in 2 more months. I went back just to listen in on some of the conversations. For some people things just never change. They go totally AF, then the tension builds, then the inevitable and convenient "trigger" appears; they drink, they binge, they hate themselves, then they go back to step one...(That binge time is dangerous.) It's unfortunate because SMART has some of the most useful tools for modding at their disposal. At the F2F meetings they allow for people to use the tools to "moderate" or control their addictions to the level that they choose. The present, and hopefully temporary,director of SMART online (ironically called S.O.L :H ) doesn't allow ANY talk of moderation; consequently many poor souls are trying to do something they may never be able to do: totally abstain forever and ever and ever...
Sunbeam: You are one of the "poster children" for modding. I wish you continued success. I hope you are feeling accepted on the AF threads but I'm glad you haven't forgotten us. We need to be able to point to you as a modding success (so don't forget to have at least ONE drink per year;I'll even treat!)
olor: blue;">KW: This is going to be a great year for you; I can feel it. How was the "pamper" weekend??
Eve: Thinking back..Are you "happier" modding than you were AF for 7 years? I would like that perspective from someone beside myself. I only quit for a year but I wasn't "happy"...
Right now, going on a year of modding, I'm happier; my family is happier. My wife said she KNEW I was a time bomb. AF was not reliable for me. I was one of those that falls off the wagon HARD. She couldn't trust me. She says she loves this modding because I'm predictable. She can trust how much I'm drinking and that I'll be reliable.. How's that for an affirmation?? My ultimate goal,though, is to THINK about it less and less. Somewhere I read how long it takes for new actions to become "habits"; is it 13 weeks or am I thinking of something else? Anyway, I want modding to be completely natural for me. Sometimes I feel "normal", but I'm not quite there yet.
JAMMS: I've found some of the sleep supps give me a HO of sorts. I figure at least my body got rest so I put up with it. I just can't use them very often.
Well, I'm going to catch up on the threads a little; finish my coffee; walk the dog and then ease into my day..
I wish you all inner peace today.
~Kid~

JAMMS
January 5th, 2009, 01:48 PM
Hey my fellow modders,
Good afternoon..so far anyway...

KID- I love Mondays also. It's the day to line all my ducks up in a row...although by Wednesday they are usually running all over the place.

SARA- Thanks I'm feeling better today...somewhat....

I'm going to try to check out all out the SMART site today... I will just "lurk" I'm curious to see what everyone is taking about...

Oh...it's funny KID, what you said about hiding AL in the laundry room....I would always use having to put a "wash on" to do a shot of Patron or some other kind of tequila....and then suck down a beer. Except...I would just close and open the dryer door to make noise like I was doing something...I would then bring up the only wash I had really done that day. How sad is that...who were we fooling is right.

My husband has asked me if I want to go out to dinner with him this weekend...but I asked if we could hold off until my 2 weeks is over so we could have some wine...does anyone think that was wrong of me? He knows whatI'm doing..and I know I can go to dinner and not drink AL I just thought..hey, if he's gonna take me out..I may as well wait for a MOD night....what do ya think???

Kid Shelleen
January 5th, 2009, 02:19 PM
Can you "do it" more than once???

JAMMS,
Can you go out this weekend AND in two weeks??? Maybe he would spring for 2 dinners...If not, I would hold out for the wine! :H
~Kid~

PS: Plus maybe by 2 weeks you'll stop fartin':egad:

Eve11
January 5th, 2009, 11:12 PM
JAMMS;511084 wrote: I asked if we could hold off until my 2 weeks is over so we could have some wine...does anyone think that was wrong of me? He knows whatI'm doing..and I know I can go to dinner and not drink AL I just thought..hey, if he's gonna take me out..I may as well wait for a MOD night....what do ya think???
JAMMS,
One of the reasons I choose Modding over being AF is to enjoy that quality wine with a meal. So, there was nothing wrong with your request. I would have done the same!
Hugs,
Eve11

Sunbeam
January 6th, 2009, 06:34 AM
Hi Jamms,
Wine with dinner out is something I've given up. We used to always polish off a bottle. One of us would drink less knowing they were the driver, but it is safest to drive without alcohol. We have saved a lot of money this way, because my husband would always order a nice bottle. By the glass only the cheaper stuff is available in most places. So now the nicest wine is consumed at home, and costs a lot less.