Piggie

[coolstink]

Hi everyone I'm coolstink, i'm new here and I am a greedy pig.

I gulp wine like it's going out of fashion. I get upset when I think someone is drinking more from the bottle than me. I get irritated when everyone else drinks too slowly because it might delay opening the next bottle.

Now I have started to come home from the bar after drinking 3 or four glasses of wine, and then drink another bottle on top of that, on my own.... so the old 'I do it to be social' excuse just wore out.

Last year I decided to stop drinking for a month... I'm still working out how to implement that. I managed one AF day last month though.

Three years ago I watched my father die slowly and painfully of Cirrhosis. It only made things worse. I drink about the same as him. He weighed 100 pounds more. If I don't get a handle on this, I suspect I will go the same way much sooner. My paternal grandmother also had a drink problem.

I went to a therapist recently and have found out that I have suffered from PTSD for some years, its much better now, but the heavy binge drinking continues to be a habit.

So I sit in my apartment most nights and surf the net, down a bottle of wine and smoke a packet. I have actually started to prefer to do this than to go out. I want to sort this nasty little problem out before it turns into full blown alcoholism.

Err yeah so that's me. I am not so keen on taking the meds - I had an allergic reaction to Zyban once which was pretty severe. But I am really curious about the supplements. I just ordered the book.

Also my friend is an acupuncturist... so I'm going to give that a go too.

Thanks for reading

[johnnyh]

Piggie

Hi Cool, First of all, as you can see from my avatar i'm a piggy too (sorry couldn't help it )

I can fully identify with your first three paragraphs.

You have definately come to the right place and there is ample of support here. It is great that you have come to the realisation or your problem and it is time for you to take the beast by its horn!! The supplements can be helpfull but the reality is whether you are going to be succesfull in changing your life is up to you and no meds!!

Life is so great being sober!!! The only regret I have is that it took me so long to quit drinking.

Good luck and keep posting.!!! I am looking forward to being part of your recovery. We can do this!!

[lilmea]

Piggie

coolstink,
I too isolated myself toward the end of my drinking. I tend to be introverted anyway and it just was so much easier to stay at home by myself and drink.
I would check out the toolbox. It's in the monthly abstaners section under general discusion.
Ther's a lot of support here. Good Luck

[last call]

Piggie

Piggie

Hi piggie. There was an artical in my local newspaper not too long ago about a man who accidently killed his live in GF fighting over who was getting the last beer from a six pack. Now that's sick! Have you ever had any tests on your liver done? You should being that it runs in your family. One of the reasons I finally made a serious committment to stop after 35 yrs. was that I was getting pains in my back and under my ribs.. Since I stopped they're gone. AF 17 days and loving it! :happy: Make sure you keep posting and reading. We're all hear to listen and help.

[aprilmoon]

Piggie

Cool Stink..... I can so relate to your drinking pattern. At Christmas time I didn't stock up on my poison (see my siggy). A few were drinking other things, but my DIL wanted some of my rum. I said "Drink something else. I don't have enough!" She looked at me like I was crazy. She was probably thinking enough for what?! Enough to get good and drunk.

I too would have rather sit at home and drink than to go out with friends. I have just about no friends because I couldn't plan much because I didn't know how I would feel the next morning or if I would even be able to drive because of staying up so late drinking....getting only a few hours of sleep (passed out). I would make plans with friends, but was so hungover I couldn't do things. I would hate myself and then by 5PM or so, I was done hating myself and drinking again. It's an ugly cycle.

Last week I just had enough of ME! I talked to my husband and he is supporting my AF days. I googled something like I want to stop drinking and I found this website. I have met so many people that understand all that I am going thru. I could not have gone this long AF without the support of my husband and all my new friends on this forum!!!!

[matthen]

Piggie

Hi Cool -- Welcome to MWO. Good for you and as others have said, you have found a good place to share your failures and successes about drinking and life in general. Your drinking patterns are not so different from many of us. Thank you for describing what many of us have been through -- secret drinking, piggy behavior about getting to the next bottle, and isolation. It is tough to get sober and staying sober is not always a party either. But sober is so much better than living with fear, depression, anxieties, isolation, feeling sick and tired, etc. So glad you found us and looking forward to being on-line friends. Good luck and God bless.

[Baja Chic]

Piggie

Hi Matt: Thanks for the reminder: Sober is so much better than living with fear, depression, anxieties, isolation, feeling sick, tired, self-loathing, feeling helpless and thinking you're stuck in the addiction and you can't get out. The best part of being sober is realizing that life without alcohol is TOTAL FREEDOM.

[irish eyes]

Piggie

Welcome Cool u have come to the right place. Some people dont take supplements I dident. I could identify with having 3 drinks socially and then coming home and drinking a bottle on my own. Keep reading the threads and posting

[Summer09]

Piggie

Hi Cool :welcome: yeah I can totally see myself in your post!! Well done for making your way here.

xx Summer09

[Liath]

Piggie

I dont want to take the drugs either.. not unless all else fails. I have thought about acupuncture. It is supposed to help with addictions. Also, it makes you feel good and strong. And it when it comes to drinking I am very, very weak. 3 days sober. I just found this site and I love it!

[coolstink]

Piggie

Wow thanks so much for all of your posts! That really is a great help. It really has been a bit isolated the last year as I moved jobs and countries by myself, so I haven't had my old circle of drinking buddies with whom my habit seemed quite normal. It also made me realise that our drinking was NOT normal.

I actually had the acupuncture after I wrote that post. Now I can't say it was pleasant - I don't like needles much but the acupuncturist said some interesting things.

Namely he couldn't believe that I was so fit and yet had such a weak pulse (I used to work out all the time until about 4 months ago when the hangovers kept getting in the way). Also that my liver kidneys and spleen were 'empty' (i think that means weak) and my lungs were starting to show weakness.

Anyway after that I managed an AF evening, despite having half a bottle of wine in the fridge which was calling me. I still have some small needles in my ear. I went to Yoga today, we did a movement which is designed to squeeze your liver and push the toxins out. Sure enough it made me feel ill.

Anyway after not drinking for 48 hours, my eyes have gone all shiny again, rather than sort of bloodshot and bleary. Quite amazing.

[within]

Piggie

lots of piggies here

i totally understand what you're saying.
why go out when you can be safe and sound and have as much as you want in your own pig pen. I sometimes feel like i've closed the world off. And when the opportunity does arise to actually go out and be social, I always find a reason not too. I am so scared that one day I will end up OLD and ALONE and that creeps me out. oink