the next day

[Liath]

I hate to find myself posting here but I am fed up. I need support and really can't get it from the people in my life (not blaming them of course since this is my issue). They either don't understand or can't deal with the reality of a drinking problem. After binging on Sunday (I almost made it through the weekend without wrecking myself but not quite) I had to call in sick and my boyfriend is furious at my irresponsible behavior. I feel nothing but remorse, anxiety, and fear for the reprucussions of my latest mistake. Sadly, drinking is really the only social outlet I have going on. My intent is never to get wasted and blow off the next day.

I know that no one has the answers but myself. No one knows how bad it is or what i need to do to fix me. But I am applying to graduate school, my life is likely going to change a lot and I need to be sober and engaged. I need another coping mechanism. A better one. Drinking sucks. I have been doing it half my life! And I am not that new here. Been here since Feb. and still I am struggling.

[Zeppie2]

the next day

Hi Liath - you might need to stay away from your drinking pals while you are going AF at the start,it will be too tempting for you. Later on when you are comfortable with yourself sober you can return to socialising with friends.

Good luck

[akgirl]

the next day

But your still here......struggling or not, your here and your trying. Just don't give up!

:l
Ak

[tlrgs]

the next day

well liath im glad to see you here posting and letting it out .. but there one thing dont beat yourself up for it .. learn and do what you have to .. to get where you feel you want to .. trying going to aa meeting .. they do help and very understanding and also keep coming here to mwo .. everything you do will help you to understand better in the long run of things .. there alot out there look for it and i know theres alot of people say they live in a small town ..so what ..do what you have to now ..you really need help with this .. catch it now and just do your best .. stay strong and keep thinking positive

[Lynnie]

the next day

Liath - I am starting Day 1 today. Why don't you make the commitment and join me? We can do it!

[Emmy]

the next day

Liath , I'm on day 28AF , Join me , baby steps , If I can do it , you can do it !:h Em

[Trish]

the next day

I too am back to day one. My first post. Need hope & support as well. Would like to join Liath, Lynnie & anyone else that needs encouragement & hope. Hoping we can draw on the strength of others here, who know the absolute devastation of alcoholism, but also have made it back to the living.

[savon19]

the next day

Liath, Lynnie & Trish - why not start posting in the ODAT (One Day at a Time) thread?

Some people keep track of days (like me!), but many don't. I think it can be a good way to start the day on a positive note. The thread starts every morning...

Finishing up Day 4 (which has been a tough day for me)... Getting past this day is a good sign! "Just" have to keep from buying IT.

[Boss.man]

the next day

A coping mechanism; drinking to escape. Work on that concept. One thing I found that helped were short "meditation" videos on youtube. These gave me a 5 minute break that really helped ease some stress I was having. Of course, I had to change my habits too.

Here's one. Use the "related" area to find some you like

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGgItFBxjU8[/video]]YouTube - Hypnosis Relaxation for Stress

[nancy]

the next day

Hi Liath

I agree with Boss, meditation is the way to go.

And yes, your way of coping is bad but it's the way a lot of people try to cope, some with worse results than others.

Offer yourself some compassion because I am convinced that low self esteem is a big part of this problem. Can you change? Of course you can, not easy but lots of people have.

You feel bad now, this is your weakness and it's a bad flaw. But what you should do is try to take care of yourself while you get into recovery.

Not learning from bad experiences and easy forgetting seem to be a part of the problem but lots of people pull through anyway and get better.

How much are you drinking normally?

[shirazgirl]

the next day

Hi Liath,
Struggling is part of the journey. I was here for quite sometime before I was able to get some af time in. The truth of the matter is, is that we get sick of it. Sick of the anger, dissapointment, self loathing, shame and all the negative things that al brings. Eventually you will try it and it will stick. My coping mechanism is the gym. I spend all of my free time there because it promotes my own well being and makes me feel like I'm helping myself in my own recovery.

School sounds like a good place to immerse yourself. You are helping yourself as you will be increasing your opportunities. Find what you love and go w/ it. Drinking holds us back from those things.

PM if you need some additional help...SG

[spun]

the next day

Liath I know how you're feeling! I'm sure most people here do in some way. I too have the stress issue that has always been avoided (not well) with alcohol. I'm going to try Boss' link to the meditation vid and also have a listen to some hypnosis stuff I downloaded in the pique of panic. Can't hurt to give it a shot!

Best of luck hon, study is a great motivator as you will need your head on straight and will enjoy the use of your brain for more important thoughts than those that revolve around boozing. I'm starting up study in the new year also and look forward to the excuse NOT to drink. We'll get there eventually, even if it takes a while.

[Trish]

the next day

It took me awhile to find the odat thread. Thank you ~ Savon 19. This is day two, feel real sick. I doubt I will post over there that early, but I will go read some posts now.

Also thank you for the u-tube link, Boss. Man. I couldn't relax that long right now, but I booked marked for a time when I feel better.

Hope Liath & Lynnie are doing OK today.

[Liath]

the next day

Hi everyone. I am feeling somewhat better today. I went back to work and functioned even though I felt bad all day. I promised my boyfriend that there would not be another incident. In order to keep that promise I will have to stay home and avoid AL related activities. This is because I will be too tempted to binge. Trish and Lynnie, I post a lot on the 'just starting out forum'. If you recently joined, it is a good starting point. Plenty of people struggling to make a change and new to the site.