View Full Version : Strategies for Not Drinking

February 27th, 2010, 02:19 PM
Some people here seemed to like the idea I mentioned, that drinking moderately includes having the self control to not drink. I personally am tired of feeling compelled to have a couple of drinks every Saturday. Today I had a cup of coffee because I find that I sometimes drink because I am tired, and don't feel like doing much. I also have given myself permission to have a few pieces of chocolate (usually I only have one) and (later) just sit in my favorite chair as long as I want with a good book and flavored seltzer in a wine glass. I usually have such a long list of things I want to accomplish on Saturday, it makes me tired to even look at it. What are your strategies?

February 28th, 2010, 08:35 PM
Lemon Pellegrino has been working for me! Im trying to cut down on my soda consumption too, so, pellegrino and lemon gives me the feeling that im having something more interesting than water! It has also helped me a lot to keep distance from my heavy ddrinker friends. I dont plan to keep them out of my life for ever, but this was an important month for me so I wanted to so it as best as I could. Being with people that derink a lot can make you think that it is "not that bad", which is a dangerous thought!

Lastly, using the drinktrack tool and reporting my achievements (and failures) with everyone else, was key for me. Knowing that I was posting there and that I had to be honest about it, really pushed me to try to do my best.

Today is the last day of my first month here, so I dont have much to share in this department as im mainly learning, but I would love to hear stragies from everyone else!!

March 2nd, 2010, 07:27 PM
Hi Sunbeam,

Rather than re-invent the wheel, I decided to cut and paste from my "Avoiding Temptation" Thread.
Of all of the strategies listed there I like this one the best:

Remember the negative consequences script. This is the one where you must replay in your head those memories of:

1. When you yelled at the kids because you were drunk or hungover and wouldn't have
done that if you had remained sober.
2. The time you had a fight with your S.O. because alcohol was involved.
3. The time you woke up and couldn't remember what you had done the night before and
were embarrassed by what you had said or done to someone, or by something you did
that was morally wrong because your inhibitions were lowered.

Really give yourself the memories before you take that first or last drink and say to yourself Is it worth it?

March 3rd, 2010, 04:04 PM
My self control to choose to not drink on any given day has been coming from keeping my eye on the immediate prize of sleeping well. Even a couple drinks will usually make me wake at 1 AM and spend a useless couple of hours thinking about crummy work things.

I have been in a place with respect to alcohol of better-but-not-good for several months so happily the really bad consequences have not been an issue. I could see myself staying at this place but that really wouldn't meet my ultimate goals for modding. So the strategies for not drinking are important to develop.

Sun, I have the same reaction to the list of tasks and have usually used alcohol to escape the list. Allowing laziness without drinking might be better????????

March 3rd, 2010, 04:36 PM
Yes! We deserve to be lazy sometimes, and don't need to use alcohol to do it!

April 11th, 2010, 07:42 PM
I feel like I'm home. Where have you been hiding?

April 12th, 2010, 01:48 AM
Hello Sunbeam,

I love your words of wisdom.
I only found this wonderful support network last week but have already seen a huge difference in my attitude.

To know that I am not so different after all is like a "Huge Weight" being lifted.

I also find myself putting fancy cordials into Soda water so that I feel like I'm not missing out.

My weekend was great.
I declared my greatest fear to my husband (like he didn't already Know) that I have an alcohol problem.

This would probably be better told in the 'my story' section but I don't feel that my story is that interesting, having said that I am drawing so much strength from reading others.

Thank you for sharing,

April 12th, 2010, 04:54 AM
Welcome! This site, the support here, has given me my life back. Before, I was beginning to feel my alcohol control issue was hopeless. Now, my life is in balance again. I sometimes enjoy the "my story" section, but so many of the tales are of life-long alcohol abuse. My problem developed later in life, I am in control now. I hope you join us in posting on the manin Long Term thread.

September 15th, 2010, 12:36 PM
Friend's Support

Maia;814087 wrote: Being with people that derink a lot can make you think that it is "not that bad", which is a dangerous thought!

My friend who has been the biggest help to me with my issues is the biggest drinker I know. :H

September 15th, 2010, 02:54 PM
I agree with you Sunbeam that moderating isn't easy. My strategy has come from keeping notes of when I was completely abstaining for 2 months due to pain and muscle weakness that my doc thought where due to AL. I always knew that my problem was not linked with AL infact was helping it in some way. I have since had a second opinion and have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia!! After the 2 months, I was allowing myself 2 small glasses of wine a night with al free days in between. The notes that I continue to keep lead me to realize that the wine is actually helping with the aches and pains that are part of FM. I HAVE to moderate as it really does help. But no it's not easy...I was SO tempted to just finish off that last glass of wine in the bottle Tues night and I thought to myself "do you want to only drink with friends at the weekends and be in pain during the week?" The wine stayed where it was and I had a cup of chai tea instead. The drink that I pined for instead of wine...

September 15th, 2010, 07:19 PM
I've come to enjoy peace and quiet in the evenings and at the weekends.
I was worried that there would be little to do to take my mind off the bottle, but I needn't have worried. I have lots to keep myself busy (my garden, a little writing, my grandkids, driving, computing...the list goes on...) and so much sober time to do it all in. I never rush anymore, I don't have to finish by whatever o'clock so that I can settle down for a drink, and if I don't finish what I'm doing, I know I'll be able to do it the next day. It's such a relaxing way to do things. I used to like drinking, but I was a drunk, which I didn't like. Truth be told, I'd reached the stage where I didn't care. I used to think being sober all the time would feel like pergatory but it's such a release on so many levels.

September 15th, 2010, 07:25 PM


September 22nd, 2010, 06:13 PM
Was just skimming through threads and this caught my eye:

Popeye;960223 wrote: I used to think being sober all the time would feel like pergatory but it's such a release on so many levels.
I used to think so too until I realized that the time spent "feeling-shitty-during-the-time-you're-not-drinking-in-between-your-normally-scheduled-drinking-sessions" doesn't count as "sober" time. After years of that experience while drinking, you become convinced that you're going to feel like that the rest of your life when not drinking. What your drunk mind/body doesn't realize is how much better you'll feel once you're not sick anymore.

And thinking about that is one strategy I'm working on for not drinking.