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letgolaughing
June 12th, 2010, 11:14 PM
here is what i got as a PM today
"Your OCD compulsion about your withdrawals has gotten old. You know perfectly well you are not going to have a seizure from only drinking 2-4 drinks a day, and you have already proved it to yourself time and time again. Perhaps you should consider going to an OCD website because you carrying on like this is insulting to those of us who wish we could stick to 2-4 drinks a night, and there is more to your issue that goes far beyond drinking"

i'd just like to say that whoever wrote this can go to hell. screw you.

oh, and the subject line was "would you just spare us please?"
nice.

techie
June 12th, 2010, 11:24 PM
I didn't think you could get an anonymous PM. Guess I'm wrong. Why don't you contact the moderators. No one should be treated that way. Best of luck!

letgolaughing
June 12th, 2010, 11:28 PM
it wasn't anonymous. it was from a newly created member, 123, apparently created just to be an ass to me.

techie
June 12th, 2010, 11:35 PM
Fricking coward. Sorry you had to go through that. I would contact the mods anyway in case the id is used again. Take care!

letgolaughing
June 12th, 2010, 11:39 PM
thanks techie. it hurt my feelings even if it was cyber-feelings

one2many
June 13th, 2010, 03:10 AM
Don't let it bother you Letgo, anyone who has to make up an alias to send a nasty pm obviously has issues of their own...

Guitarista
June 13th, 2010, 03:30 AM
My situation is the opposite. No-one hardly ever p.m's me. :upset: (except for a beautiful regular correspondent)
Would someone, anyone, please p.m. me. Anytime, about anything. I don't even care if it's abusive. It can just get lonely here sometimes.

Best wishes LGL.

Marshy
June 13th, 2010, 05:39 AM
Letgo,

You can block all PMs in your user options. If you don't use PMs very often that could be a solution. Or you could do it temporarily for a few weeks so if this person tries to do it again and the message is blocked they might give up.


Or just forward them on to Guitarista - he'd love it!


Guitarista;885693 wrote: Would someone, anyone, please p.m. me. Anytime, about anything. I don't even care if it's abusive. It can just get lonely here sometimes.

:H:H

Marshy
June 13th, 2010, 05:45 AM
BTW,

On another recovery forum I'm on you have to make a certain number of posts before you can send a PM. It prevents exactly this situation - some fuckwit making up a name just to post nasty PMs. If you have to make a number of posts first, it takes a bit of time and would probably deter all but the most warped minds.

hippie37
June 13th, 2010, 07:05 AM
LGL, I don't discredit the fact that this person has taken it upon themselves to psycho-analyze you without even knowing you as a person; even diagnosing you with OCD's. They have also taken from you the right to feel what it is you're feeling whether that fear is unfounded or not. That is not acceptable behaviour in my eyes.

But, at the same time this person has questioned your fears over withdrawals, which you've somehow felt you've needed to publicly defend. I agree that the pm was uncalled for and could of been said openly on one of your threads regarding this matter.

When I went through treatment I couldn't bare the thought of being challenged in some way because it left me feeling vulnerable. I didn't like hearing a lot of stuff about myself but I needed to hear it if I was to make any kind of progress. Thankfully I was in a safe and respecting environment where I was challenged with no vindictiveness but in a respectful and loving manner. That's not always going to be the case on a public forum where you have people who are still displaying behaviours from there addiction.

So although I disagree with the pm I also feel the scenario you find yourself in (being challenged) does not need to be acted out here publicly with a display of sympathy from others. There is some real lessons of growth here for you if you have the self honesty to ask yourself the right questions. Don't pass that up.

Many Blessings
Phil

Sunbeam
June 13th, 2010, 07:07 AM
LetGo,
I am so sorry you received this pm. Most people here are very kind and helpful, but not everyone always.

IAD
June 13th, 2010, 08:31 AM
LGI.....Their are some mean spirted people that come on this site. They are so into their own sickness that they don't have the copacity for compassion. Alcohol has blinded them into anger.....these people just want to strike out to anyone and everyone. They show up on this site from time to time....don't pay any attention to them unless they continue, then get a hold of the moderator. Remember: Most of us here do want to hear from you....it makes us stronger when we can help. IAD

canadiangirl
June 13th, 2010, 10:02 AM
Well, I'm shocked. And surprised. You post infrequently enough as it is, and hardly come across as perserverating over one thing. And I disagree that you have to feel in any way that this could be a "learning experience". This person is clearly envious and the envy is causing him/her to be vicious. End of lesson, and fffffftttttt to that person. I come here and talk about my anxiety. Anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiety. So there. :)

letgolaughing
June 13th, 2010, 10:27 AM
hi y'all
yes, in hindsight i guess i should have just ignored it. i don't need a learning experience from a jerk who has to post something to me in such a mean spirited way. i am not upset with the subject matter he/she chose, i learned that early on on this board that my obsessing over withdrawals can upset those who drink WAY more than i do sometimes. that's why i only post now in the monderation board. i understand that completely.
i only exposed the pm so to "expose" the person who did it and not let them get away with being nasty in private, not for sympathy(although, it is nice to hear the words of support). i just think that if you want to post something like that, have the courage to do it in public.

JACQRABBIT
June 16th, 2010, 12:12 AM
Hello Let go.

I am new to this 'social networking' thing,
never even had a face book or tweet thing.

I thought at 1st that the MYO was great as there was no 'bitchiness'
I've realised recently that we too, are not immune to the political BS that you would expect on this type of forum.

Don't take it to heart,
Us that matter know that you are fighting fires on many fronts and doing incredibly well.

Be proud.:l:l

Eve11
June 23rd, 2010, 02:26 AM
letgolaughing;885608 wrote: here is what i got as a PM today
"Your OCD compulsion about your withdrawals has gotten old. You know perfectly well you are not going to have a seizure from only drinking 2-4 drinks a day, and you have already proved it to yourself time and time again. Perhaps you should consider going to an OCD website because you carrying on like this is insulting to those of us who wish we could stick to 2-4 drinks a night, and there is more to your issue that goes far beyond drinking"
.
Letgo,
I'm sorry you got such a nasty message. I've noticed in the past here that some folks join just to post a negative post to the moderators (I'm sure it happens on the AF site as well) and then they disappear.

I look at it as they're struggling with their own issues and need to try to make someone else feel as miserable as they do. Obviously this person is envious of your ability to drink less than theirs as evidenced by their statement "you carrying on like this is insulting to those of us who wish we could stick to 2-4 drinks a night".

Also, they have no understanding of OCD or they would have more empathy.

Let's just look at their entering your cyberworld as a lesson to practice forgiveness.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
~Lewis B. Smedes

:l:h:l
Eve11

1967
June 25th, 2010, 06:51 AM
Do not let this negative person affect what you are doing to improve yourself.
A similar thing happened to me a while back and I left the site for a long time.
Actually I lost my commitment and the drinking has gotten worse and worse.
So, this site is really helpful for the most part. Don't let a few bad apples soil the whole pie. I plan to take my own advice.


letgolaughing;885608 wrote: here is what i got as a PM today
"Your OCD compulsion about your withdrawals has gotten old. You know perfectly well you are not going to have a seizure from only drinking 2-4 drinks a day, and you have already proved it to yourself time and time again. Perhaps you should consider going to an OCD website because you carrying on like this is insulting to those of us who wish we could stick to 2-4 drinks a night, and there is more to your issue that goes far beyond drinking"

i'd just like to say that whoever wrote this can go to hell. screw you.

oh, and the subject line was "would you just spare us please?"
nice.

Eve11
June 25th, 2010, 11:30 AM
They know not what they do

:welcome:back 1967.

It's unfortunate the damage that some people can do sometimes, especially in this cyber world. Studies show that people are much kinder to each other in person as well. Think of the rude person when you're doing a business transaction on the phone but if you were in front of them they would treat you with more respect. Also, we can't hear voice tone, inflection, etc. and sometimes we misconstrue things because of that.

The risks are there for our feelings to get hurt but the benefits outweigh the negatives that is for sure.

Come on over to our Ruby Tuesday site where we post our weekly goals and get back on track with us.

And Letgo...big cyber (((hugs))) to you and hope you're feeling better.
:l
Eve11

mario
June 25th, 2010, 11:36 AM
hi 1967 welcome back, wondering were you got to :-) jump back on board here. Together we can all beat this monster.


let go just ignore these people,as already being said you always get some bad people who just like to cause mischief & trouble.

Quit Quitting
July 22nd, 2010, 01:30 PM
Hi Letgo

I to am sorry that there is such a cowards on this site and that you have recieved such a nasty message. It has shattered my opinion of this site. I have suffered alopecia and used to go to a site to help cope with the issues I had to deal with. Something similar happened to a forum moderator and the moderator retaliated and was removed from the site, which was wrong as the moderator was the victim. This to me is a place to give help and support and receive help and support and as far as I am concerned people like that are not welcome here.

Looks like I am a bit behind the times with my post but I just want you to know that you have my support even tho we have never met. So Hi to you from me.

QQ

Pride before Fall
July 22nd, 2010, 03:24 PM
Don't worry about it, LGL. Sounds like the anonymous writer is struggling with moderation ("you carrying on like this is insulting to those of us who wish we could stick to 2-4 drinks a night") and is unhappy with him- or herself, and (putting on my own Psych 101 hat) is projecting that frustration onto you. Otherwise, why not just not read your posts? Ironically, anxiety seems to have been a strong component in what landed most of us here, and likely for your anonymous friend as well. "Hi Kettle; I'm Pot." "Hi Pot, I'm Kettle." XOXO -Pride