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Helensback
October 29th, 2006, 10:18 PM
Well -

I'm off to a roaring start. Wrote a profundity of all profundities, tried a computer smarty-pants move and lost the whole kit and kaboodle.

But, since I've laid it out there, I might as well step in it.

Purging the past.

I've thought many thoughts of the past these days and have been struggling to find something positive in all that muck.

I kept hearing Leonard Cohen's tune: "Bird on a Wire".

In it, he describes his relationships with people from his past and those he is involved with now. "Like a bull with his horns, like a child who's stillborn....I have torn every one who's reached out for me."

Can you relate to that too?

I have boxes and boxes and boxes of STUFF from my past. I can't see myself as a good person in any one of the damn things.

I hate the thought of going through them, but I hate even worse for someone else to go through them.

I'd rather clean them out myself.

I'd rather sift through it all and throw out all that bloody shame.

I am tired of that crap taking up all that space in my house.

It's what keeps me from getting better and I know it.

Maybe the physical act of filling up those green garbage bags will allow me to take a deep breath.

And then I can put them on the side of the road and walk back to my house.

And breathe some fresh air.

Helen

lucky 2.0
October 29th, 2006, 11:30 PM
Good reason not to keep a journal, although many say they are helpful.

southernbelle47
October 30th, 2006, 05:15 AM
Good morning Absville,

:thanks: Helen for starting us off!

I do think cleaning out "stuff" is part of getting healthy. I know I feel better when I have done it.
I remember having to go through my mom's and I promised myself that I would not do that to my kids.

Off and running this morning. I'm driving my brother for some eye surgery. BTW..he is a packrat! His poor kids!;)

Bye for now. Have a good day all.

Nancy:l

Mackeral
October 30th, 2006, 07:44 AM
Good Morning all,

Just a quick check-in this morning..I gotta go food shopping(wahoo:mad: )

Hope everyone has a good day...Be back tonight...Macks:)

YoungAtHeart
October 30th, 2006, 07:57 AM
I'm in the middle of a major infrastructure overhaul in my house right now. It feels good to be getting rid of "stuff" that just clutters up the works. My goal is to live more simply and easily. It's a metaphor for cleaning out the old brain too, and letting go of the past.

I miss being able to be on here as much these days, everyone. Being with my sister and cleaning up the infrastructure of my house is time-consuming! But I'm thinking of you all a lot!

Lots of love!
Kathy:l

dilayne
October 30th, 2006, 08:02 AM
Mornin everyone! Just a quickie for now, but will write more later. I'm in a purge mode myself..I've cleaned out 3 closets this last month and have hauled off a truck load of accumulated STUFF! It feels really good..I've spent the last year totally emersed in my psychotherapy..I feel like I"ve been living in the underworld and have been trying to come back to earth, to dwell amongst the living..it's been a difficult transition for me..I feel a little stuck in between rooms...it's been through the process of cleaning my closets, purging old stuff, reorganizing my house..that's so symbolic of what I've been doing on a deeper level..every day I feel a little more normal, a little more grounded. I have a few rooms to go before I feel like I'm done..but the process has been so healing, I'm not in a huge hurry. I'm also doing it on other levels..with my artwork..I'm having a 50% off studio sale right now, which is really huge for me because it marks a time for me of letting go of 25 years of work that I've held onto...I know I need to let them go in order to move forward with my new work..work that will be deeper, more meaningful to me as an artist..my contribution to the world. I do keep a journal, and have for many years..they are stacked very neatly in my closet. I never go back and read them unless I'm needing confirmation of a date or an occurance. I like knowing I can find it there. But...lately, my entries are changing..I have over a hundred dreams documented that are worthy of consideratin..my journal teaches me a lot, and hopefully is transmuting into something more than monkey chatter and to do lists..which sometimes is all that I could muster. Actually I began seriously journaling years ago when I read Julia Cameron's, Artist Way..her recommendation was to journal 3 pages every morning as a means of purging yourself of all the mental monkey talk we tend to just carry around with us unconsciously through out the day...I do find it useful to do that..by the time my feet hit the floor in the morning, I have purged so much, kind of like skimming the muck off of the surface to allow the good stuff to flow..it helps me prioritize my day, to be clear...kind of like being 'cleared' for the day ahead..it allows me to be in the present moment more often during the day because I've already purged all of the things that would otherwise come back and distract me.

OK, this was much longer than I thought it would be, but a very timely topic. Thanks Helen!
Have a great day everyone!

Today marks 2 weeks AF for me! woo, hoo, hoo!

dilayne
October 30th, 2006, 08:05 AM
Hi Kathy...I was writing while you were...seems like we were saying similar things! I admire how you can bottom line it, I have a hard time doing it..I have to go around the block and write a disseration to say the simplest things sometimes! :0)

YoungAtHeart
October 30th, 2006, 08:45 AM
Oh Di, I'm the same way, but when I have to simplify, I can do it!! LOL!! Love ya! You obviously haven't read some of the BOOKS I've written on here!

Newyear
October 30th, 2006, 09:49 AM
Good Morning!

Helen this is a great topic - thanks for starting this morning. I too have been going thru old papers and old stuff I have been hanging on to for years and years. Some of it I'm so happy to have - like letters from my Grandmother (who will turn 100 on 11/15). But other things I have finally been able to throw out - things that are painful or just makes me sad.
I have finally decided that I don't have to carry that with me just because it happened. I still have a ways to go with it all. I have moved from large boxes of stuff to smaller boxes - progress. I will probably have to go thru it all again but each time I pare it down some more.
I avoid going thru it because it tends to make me more sad than happy. So why am I keeping it? Well, now I've decided I can get rid of the sad things. Time for new beginnings. Plus my little townhouse does not have enough room for me and the "stuff". ! One of us has to leave.
It is a relief once things are actually gone too. Not hanging on to the past.

Well- got to go to a meeting. Day 2 af for me.

:l Lisa

TracyA
October 30th, 2006, 11:05 AM
"Like a bull with his horns, like a child who's stillborn....I have torn every one who's reached out for me."

Can you relate to that too?
I sure can!

It seems like we beat ourselves up a lot - I do anyway - it's like I have this scorecard on myself: There are never enough black marks and they are written in disappearing ink, whereas the red marks are in permanent marker and never go away. In a court of law you can only be judged once, but in my own head, I find myself guilty over and over and over again.

I love Pema's take on it. She said, "Regret is beneficial and good things come through it, so go ahead and feel it. You have ten minutes. Then you move on."

I don't have a whole lot of material stuff because when I left my husband a year and a half ago, I left it all with him. I took my clothes, a bed, one chair, one table and a ladder. It was okay because he's the packrat - I love throwing stuff away. Easy to see why we're divorced, eh? :H

Anyway, the junk I have is in my head, and it's jam packed full. I need to get better at purging those files.

Sorry I've been mostly absent. I'm crazy busy trying to get ready for a trip. Hope everyone is well.

Roberta Jewell
October 30th, 2006, 11:30 AM
The MWO wand

Here, Helen--and anyone else who needs it. Maybe this'll help. I think it's magic. You guys can use the avatar for mayor, too.

RJ

p.s.: Love the quote about regret

http://www.mywayout.org/community/images/avatars1/mayor.jpg

freckles
October 30th, 2006, 01:06 PM
i love throwing stuff out. it is the singlemost theraputic, cleansing, satisfing activity i can do. oh and tracy my husband is a packrat too, so i can relate to what you are saying. this is a major conflict of ours but i've learned just to slowly sneak things into the trash, preferably under some dirty diapers. :) just thinking about throwing stuff out makes me feel better. i think it's because i moved around so much for so many years. having lots of stuff can be okay till you have to deal with it all. it's a good theme for fall too, change is good, clean out the house, get ready to bunker down. oh yes, and it's day10. have a great day everyone!

Mackeral
October 30th, 2006, 03:03 PM
Its so weird everyone is de-cluttering....i cleaned out my loft on Friday....I had to make 3 trips to the tip......There must be something in the air..