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    Mixed feelings

    Good morning! I'm starting off day 2 both excited and nervous. I'm happy about yesterday and positive for today but waiting for that inevitable switch to be flipped. It seems like I start the day off with incredible resolve so much so that I think, how can this have ever even been an issue for me. I'm going to stop today and never really think about drinking again. Then it happens. The invisible switch is flipped, no real trigger just that feeling of I have to go buy something to drink tonight. That pull to drink is just as strong as the resolve not to. Does anyone else have this feeling or any thoughts how to shove the switch back in the off position?

    #2
    Mixed feelings

    VERY normal, Anon. 'I feel fine. I don't REALLY have a problem! I can have just a couple.' Sound familiar? Whether you can or can't drink again, try to get a really good, long stint of sobriety under your belt before you experiment. Then, you may not even want to.
    Congratulations on your sober days! They build amazingly, with work, plans, tools, just like working at a job. Let us know how we can help you.
    Ruby
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #3
      Mixed feelings

      Congratulations on Day 2. The urge to drink is in inverse proportion to how badly you feel, in my experience.
      On day one I feel like crap so no urge to drink. By the end of day two, feeling better so the urge to drink comes back.
      You just have to distract yourself. Maybe posting a picture of yourself on day one to the rear view mirror will serve as a deterent.:H I know it would for me!!!!:H
      Sorry, dont' mean to be facetious, just can't help myself. :goodjob: on the AF days. Keep it up.
      Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
      If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
      November 2, 2012

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        #4
        Mixed feelings

        And, as you said, 'that time' when the switch is flipped. Think about what you normally do at that time. Plan something TOTALLY different that doesn't include AL.
        sigpic
        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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          #5
          Mixed feelings

          rubywillow;1239871 wrote: And, as you said, 'that time' when the switch is flipped. Think about what you normally do at that time. Plan something TOTALLY different that doesn't include AL.
          Very wise info as usual, and sort of what I was going to say, Rubes stole my thunder!! LOL


          Look at it this way. Im guessing that the issue you have did not happen "overnight", it probably was years in the making. Its pretty much like any other problem in life.....it didnt happen overnight, so it wont get fixed overnight.

          But you can do it, you just proved it........now, just set a few "baby step" goals.

          You have your first day, now shoot for 3,7,14,30 I say it like a broken record around here, you will be AMAZED at how fast the days add up.

          When you experience "success" at something you feel motivated to keep trying...hence the very manageable goals. Break them down into whatever time frame "chunks" you need, to make it 24 hours. Soon you will have 30 or 31 24 hour periods, and we will start a "anon is thirty days" thread.....that first 30 is a REAL accomplishment.


          Wishing you all the knowledge, strength, and support needed to reach your goals
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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            #6
            Mixed feelings

            Hi Anon,
            What you're feeling is completely normal and part of the process of changing our thinking. The first few days will be the hardest, and probably the first weekend. You will notice it gets easier around days 3-5, and you're already on day 2 so keep it up!

            When I first stopped drinking, I did EVERYTHING different. The first few nights I had to be out of the house, because I ONLY drank at home. After I ran out of evening activities (and money to support them, lol) I had to tackle a night at home with no alcohol. I made small changes there too. Something as small as moving a lamp in the living room made it "look" different than my normal drinking scenery. I even switched which end of the couch I sat on. This may sound kind of dumb, but you'd be suprised how you can recondition your brain pretty easily. Now it's normal for me to be in my old drinking spot, but with no drink and not even missing the drink.

            Keep yourself busy the first few days. Take a hot bath with epsom salt in it...it will relax you and restore minerals the alcohol has taken from you. Go to the library and stock up on good books. Rent some movies. Or here's my favorite: treat yourself to a good greasy meal!

            Just remember, the "pull" to stop at the liquor store and drink will not go away overnight (hell, I STILL get it sometimes). But it's only a thought, and a thought can't affect you unless you act on it.

            Stay strong and stick close to us. Let us know how you're progressing!
            K9
            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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              #7
              Mixed feelings

              The early days are hard-no doubt about that. Everyone has good suggestions. There are lots of things that help. The biggest thing for me is this forum. I look forward to what's going on here every day.


              I can only speak for what worked for me and it is abject fear. I am deathly afraid to drink.I know I was not in control,not myself. At the end it was so clear that someone was going to get really hurt, maybe me, maybe a drunk driving victim since I was barreling all over town drunk. I didn't want my bottom to be a jail cell. Still don't.

              I'm reading Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife. She found recovery in AA but it's a really good book. I wish I was not addicted to alcohol but nothing can change that. And after knowing that I would be begging for destruction to indulge

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                #8
                Mixed feelings

                Hi there and welcome to the wonderful world of people who don't drink alcohol!!! It's a great club to belong to. I just joined Jan 2 and loving it already.

                I used to wake up every morning with a firm resolve not to drink at dinner time but by 4pm I'd be chewing my nails and waiting for 5pm so I could pour a glass of wine. I always felt like crap and hated myself too. And rinse and repeat for years and years. I started taking amino acids, and Topamax and finally I'm sleeping well, getting up feeling good, feeling nice and calm and a little spacy during the day - and best of all not feeling anxious at 4pm and not wanting a drink.

                What's in your tool box? Are you using will power alone? As someone above said read lots of posts - there is a good variety of methods here for you to latch onto. Good on you with the 2 sober days!!!!
                Ask yourselves, would you rather be a non drinker with an occasional desire to drink or a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it?
                (quote from Bean )

                Goal: Survival

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                  #9
                  Mixed feelings

                  good advice

                  K9 that was a great post. We do have some wonderful people here.

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