How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

[anonymousllama]

So here I am at day 16! I had a small woops on day 10 but i don't count that since it was 3 hours of weakness. I'm excited at how much easier its gotten since horrible day 3 but is it ever going to be thoughtless? Will there be a day where i'm not "stopping drinking"? When i'm not coming to the board a few times a day, where i'm not fighting with myself from 3-7 not to give in? I want to wake up on day 37 and not even think about it. I want to moved passed it all and just live AF without really noticing it. Is that even possible?

[Tipplerette]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

I, truly hope so... for both our sakes. What's the point of winning the war when you're still involved in daily battles?

[janka]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

May be a good idea just to put it all behind you ... be gentle with yourself ... focus on things you like ... some solutions (not analyzing/rehashing problems).

[Unwasted]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

Anon, I'm on day 65 and thinking about alcohol MUCH less than I used to. Here, though, is a great post by Mohun. You have to be patient - it took you a long time to get to this point, so give it time.

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Hi. I haven't posted for a while so I thought I would pop in for an update and say thanks to all of the members who helped me be successful.

I haven't had any alcohol for about 15 months. Not a drop. I quit twice before for about 4 months each time using this site and the encouragement of it's members. Both times previously I went back to drinking thinking I could control it. Of course it ends up controlling me in the end.

This third time I have been very successful and thought I would pass along some observations.

There were several milestones along the way I thought were interesting. It took many many months to actually feel "normal". I thought after 30 days AF I would starting to feel "normal" but in hindsight I did not.

I do know (now) with the amount of alcohol I drank I was masking/creating other problems. From months 3-6 AF I suffered through some mild depression as my body adapted to no more alcohol. Whether that be from physical or mental adjustments or both, I am not sure. This was probably the make or break point for me (failed twice before around this time).

From 6 months to a year was where I started to see/feel some real changes of returning to "normal".

Some of the biggest changes include no longer having that feeling of being agitated and aggressive all of the time. I sleep like a rock every night and wake up refreshed. Actually going to bed sober is something I look forward to, a lot. Knowing I will wake up sober is a great feeling.

For the first part of this journey, I remember waking up expecting to feel hungover and then realizing I wasn't. It's a great feeling.

I also managed to finally take control of my poor eating habits. I have lost 70 pounds since quitting drinking. Most people are shocked to see the difference from where I was to where I am.

My family cannot believe how nice and calm I am all of the time now. My stress levels both personally and professionally have dropped dramatically.

I am posting here today in hopes that others starting on this wonderful journey can see that there are people who are successful at this. Maybe others, like me, will take what they need and move on. Which is why I wanted to come back and say thank you to all of those members who stick around and offer help and advice.

Anyway, for those just starting, there is a better life if you can stick with it. I know there can be social pressures or work pressures to drink, but you can be successful in life without drinking.

Good luck to all!

[sunshinedaisies]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

Hi anon - I found that I had to change my mindset - I am not 'stopping drinking'. I have STOPPED DRINKING. I do not drink. I have found that L-Glut really helps - 2 tsps of the powder in a small amount of water - or the powder under the tongue - and it does help. I DO now and again think about AL - but have not craved it. If the thought of AL comes to mind, I just gently push it away - after all, I don't drink! You DO need to have something to take the place of AL - I like water so that is easy - and make sure you have things to do so those hours between 3 and 7 aren't full of your mind thinking about AL. You do need a plan - I never really understood what everyone meant by needing a plan but had one this time and things are really working for me. I just quit a couple of weeks ago and am feeling really good - make sure you have a plan - and try the L-Glut powder. And just think "I DO NOT DRINK".

Good luck and hang in there -

Sun

[Chillgirl]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

Great post from Mohun!

I just wanted to add that we have to remember how long we wore those ugly AL shoes which were crippling our growth and causing disfigurement and disease. Enjoy those prettier ones and be assured that we will grow into them and they will be the most comfortable ones we have ever had. They are new and are bound to pinch a little to begin with.....

[Cinders]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

I hesitate to post to this thread because I do not have the amount of time sober such as Mohun does.

However, I have seen several here who have had 1+, 2+, etc, years sober and then fall back into the abyss.

My daughter is one of those, so I have seen it up and close firsthand.

She told me that it took almost nine months before she felt really good.

However, like many others, at one point her mind convinced her she could sit and have a drink or two with her husband and not go back to her old ways. She kept thinking back to the beginning of her drinking days when it was just a relaxant and not an issue.

That lasted a little while but not long.

So, do the cravings ever go away? From what she told me, it does not remain a daily chore to stay sober, it eases up over time. But, it never goes away completely and if you are not aware of what can happen, you will end up back at square one once again.

I complained about this to my brother one time. He just laughed and said, "I remember when I got juvenile diabetes and had to completely change my life because of my disease. It took me several years to recognize that I was going to have to deal with this the right way the rest of my life or die young and leave my wife and children without support."

His words changed my perspective a bit.

Cindi

[caysea]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

Hi All
We are all different based on how much we drank and for how long. I am sober over 3 and a half years and I have no cravings and no thoughts of having a drink. Why am I here you may ask. Even though i have no thoughts of drinking I have seen what has worked for others in recovery and one of the keys is staying in touch with a recovery program. So I just do it. I do have a very keen awarness that if I do have a drink I will be back to the world I escaped. There is a difference between and awarness and the strugle that we go through at the start of recovery. Just realize if you drank for a long time it takes time for the changes to come.


Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[KateH1]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

Hi annony, Well done on your decision to stop the madness of alcohol abuse! I agree with Cay, we are all different and have different experiences. I am at the beginning of my fifth year of sobriety and much like Cay, I rarely think about drinking any longer. My first 6 months AF were a roller coaster! I would go for days doing just fine, no drinking thoughts and then, out of the blue the thoughts would begin....arghhh! I would use the "Tools" that I had learned to move past those thoughts and urges. (see the Toolbox thread). These thoughts and urges would pass and I would feel a renewed sense of comittment and well being that restored my love of sobriety!

I think the real key is our "Thinking". The first 30 days or so are really all about "resistence"....just not picking up that first drink. As we gain time without AL, we need to work on our thinking and make needed life style changes to support our New Life Without Al. For some of us therapy helps, for others it is going to AA or other support groups, whatever helps to support our life and mind changes!

These days, drinking thoughts rarely cross my mind...but, they do come out of no where from time to time. One thing that I know for sure, for me, there is never "Just one drink", even if I could have only one today....that one would lead to disaster in a short period of time. I love living sober and I never want to go back to the nightmare of drinking again!

Best Wishes to You!
Kate

[K9Lover]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

I have to admit that the most I think about alcohol is when I'm on this site. But that's a good thing, I'm not thinking of it in a fantasizing way, I'm thinking about it for what it is...a poison that was destroying my life. Every night that I don't have to drink, I feel like a weight has been lifted. It's like dreading something then realizing you don't have to do it after all. That's how I feel at night, like I've been relieved of some duty I was not looking forward to.

[rubywillow]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

Such wonderful people have posted here, I hesitate, but consider if you had a condition like diabetes, where you have to watch yourself and plan ahead. AL is not going to kill you unless you let it. It's a fact now, but your past. Now you have choices. IMHO, you have to quit giving it so much space in your daily thinking. That's a personal thing, something you have to work out, but if you were to look at the time WITH AL, and now, consider your impact on the world, your family, and what you gained. I hope you've found a substitute for the wasted time, can now appreciate the rainbows, the sunrise, your family. Don't let being sober and wondering take away any of your progress, what you've gained on a higher level. The thoughts of 'why am I doing this, when will I be OK again,' can hurt you. REMEMBER the reasons you are here. Remember you want to be the real normal again. Some people are allergic to nuts, gluten. So think of this as an allergy, not a denial. There are billions of options available when you're sober, but not when you're drunk. Sorry if I ramble, but IMHO it's more a mental issue at your point, than physical. Just don't let the 'what if' thoughts creep in. You can do this, but your mind has to adjust now, like your body did. Set your sights higher, and don't even give AL a space in your mind. It's over. You're deserting it, and it wants back in, but ignore it. Like Caysea says, and Cinders, this can be a fight, but we can shut it out with work, and ignore it till we don't think about it except fleetingly. I wish you the best, but your question is great, so coming here is the right way to go.

[Steady Hands]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

Hi Anon

I don't know if this would help, but what helps me is that I try very hard to look younger... Al is a bastard in making you look older than you are (and after too many like a fool). I study with people a decade younger than me and I don’t want to look like one of their aunts!!
What it boils down to is to have a goal where it is very important to you where AL doesn’t fit in.
For beauty’s sake! I now enjoy a liter of juiced carrots, cucumber, beetroot, grapes etc. every night. I couldn’t stand the taste of juiced stuff with some veggies in it before, but because it fits into my plan for beauty I do it. I am very focused on this and count my stuff to juice these days like the liters I needed every night!

This is one reason. There is many other. It is very uncomforatble in the beginning and at over 60 days I feel good, but not fantastic.
I think you will think less about AL if your focus shifts.

Go well.
SH

[DriftyAlison0]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

I am at 7 months af and I still have moments like tonight that my AL mind tries to get me to drink, but I know that the longer that I stay af, the easier it gets to remain sober. I have already have seen this happen so I know to not drink. Instead I stay home when cravings and thoughts are like this to ensure that I remain sober.

[Supercrew]

How long does it take to wear in these shoes?

As long as you still want to drink you will always think about it. You quit thinking about drinking when you realize you like being sober more than you like the romantic thoughts that you make up in your head regarding how alcohol makes you feel happy and great.

Now if you are on this forum my guess would be that although you might have some great experiences when you drank it has ultimately brought you alot of pain as well. The key is to focus on the pain that you receive when you drink and the pleasure you feel when you aren't hungover, or detoxing or feeling depressed when you don't drink.

For me to get past the point where you are I used 2 techniques. The first technique I used was anytime I would think about sneaking out and getting a drink, I would immediately remember the reason why I quit. I would try to bring back the sick and helpless feelings I had to the point where I could physically feel the dread and the pain and the anxiety. I did this everyday for about a month. As soon as I would even think about drinking I would remember this sick episode as strongly as I could. I got to the point that I could make myself feel sick to my stomach at the thought of drinking.

The second technique I used was when I was out and around alcohol. (This is gross and I describe it in the My Story section), but I would imagine and visualize that any alcohol I saw in any glass or bottle was warm urine. I would imagine the terrible odor to the point where I would make myself gag. The first time I did this at a party and I was sitting next to a guy who was drinking a beer in a glass, I almost made myself puke. I kept seeing him sip the nasty yellow drink, and I could imagine the fumes of the odor coming out of the glass. Basically after 2 or 3 parties and continuing this method I had no problem turning down a drink. Now I have over a year sober, and I am happier and healthier than I have been in years, and I don't think about drinking at all.

When I was young and started drinking I had to learn to enjoy the effects and the taste, well basically after 27 years I had to learn to love being sober. I have found you get what you focus on. If you focus on sobriety and happiness you will get it, but if you focus on (not) drinking, even though you want to drink you will eventually end up drinking again, believe me I know, I went down that path for at least 10 years before I found that wanting to be sober and focusing on it was the key.